过年
To my people, our most important festival is the Chinese New Year. It even predated the official founding of China. Hence, the origin of the Chinese New Year is vague. But there is a story of how it came to be. For this story, China was not yet China… just Huaxia, the tribe of the Chinese.
China's Narration
Thousands of years ago, there was a big mean brutal monster called the Nian. Every year, it would come down from the mountains and attack my house and my people.
The villagers all cowered away in sight of the large beast that appeared before them. It was draconic and bestial, four-legged, scaly and with two prongs-like horns. Its gigantic jaws gapped open and staring at the people before him, drooling in gleam. The beast raised its paws and smashed an entire hut into nothing.
Out of the ruins of the demolishment, a small child walked out. He had black hair like the rest of his people, but tied in a small ponytail. Dressed in brown rags, the child approached the monster. While the scene was bewildering to some, the villagers held respect for the child… for they knew the child was Huaxia, the personification of their tribe.
"Nian, please stop that," Huaxia pleaded, "Why must you attack us every year?"
"I desire so, and you cannot stop me," the Nian said, "see you next year."
The Nian roared and it quickly retreated into the mountains, but not before ramming into half the entire village and demolishing it. Huaxia was left terrified among the ruins of the village.
The Nian was too powerful, cannot be destroyed by anything. The best we can do is just to rebuild what we have and hide in our houses in the end of every year, hoping that Nian would not terrorise us. That was until a certain year that I forgot, where I crossed paths with an old man.
At the gates of the village, a lone figure stood. It was an old man, with long white hair that went down to his waist and a similar beard just as long. He travelled with little possessions, only his cane and clean white robes. To his astonishment, the village he entered seemed to be without life.
It was only noon then, with the Sun high up in the sky. Yet, not a single soul was present. Trusting only his instinct, the old man randomly walked to the door of a hut in the village and knocked on it. The door went ajar slightly, and Huaxia peered out. He was still overcome by his fear for what is to come.
"Y-yes…" Huaxia stuttered meekly.
"Child, why is it that there is nobody outside?" the old man gently asked.
"S-sir… you l-live a long l-life… b-but d-do not…know…" Huaxia spoke, "the year….it ending… Nian come…"
"Have you tried to defend yourself from the beast?" the old man asked again.
"He was too strong," Huaxia answered, "he's undefeatable…"
"Everything has a weakness, child," the old man declared, "May I give you a suggestion on how to subdue the Nian?"
And so, I took the old man's advice. He told me that Nian was deathly frightened by some things, which was very crazy idea. I still followed them in the end. By midnight, Nian would strike again.
The night was quiet as it should, but the ground shook as the Nian made its way down the mountains. The Nian looked at the village around him, and then at Huaxia who looked up at the monster. He was holding something behind his back.
"Boy, you dare to oppose me?" Nian's voice boomed.
"Y-ye-y…" Huaxia stuttered.
The Nian growled at the young Chinese, but in the face of the danger, Huaxia began on his plan. He unveiled the object he hid, which was a drum and drumstick. He beat the drum as hard as he could, and the Nian suddenly backed off from Huaxia.
"What…" the creature growled.
Suddenly, more villagers came out from the huts they hid in. All of them were carrying drums, gongs and red paper. A loud thunderous symphony of noise was rocking the whole village, backed by the Nian's painful roar.
"Stop this!" Nian yelled, "That colour… that noise… I don't like it!"
The beast was then forced to turn away from the village and fled back to the mountains, where the noise grew softer until it was inaudible. Huaxia looked at the fleeing creature, along with his people. Everybody beat their instruments again, even louder that the threat of Nian was gone at last. Huaxia looked around the happy crowd, and then noticed the old man walking away.
"Sir, thank you! Thank you!" Huaxia cried.
"It was a pleasure, Huaxia," the old man said.
"You… you know who I am…" Huaxia exclaimed.
"Yes and the gods can foresee a future of greatness for you," the old man continued, "You will unify the lands that are yours to behold, and be great. You lie in the centre of civilisation of the world and be grander than all others! Pay heed to this, Wang Yao… the Nation of China!"
The Nian was afraid of firecrackers, red things, and loud noises. Hence, every new year, we will use these to frighten the Nian away so that we all can have peace.
"And that is how Chinese New Year began," China declared.
"Interesting, I would love to see little China's face being terrified by a monster," Russia remarked, "KolKolKol…"
"So that's why you have… such… bad old-fashion taste in outfits," France remarked, "I pity you, Chine…"
"Ha, if it were me, I would bash that beast with my bare hands instead!" America proclaimed.
"America, I was not even a true Nation then," China said, "I was only a collection of Chinese tribes based in Henan."
"Well, I don't believe if that thing ever did exist," England said, "how can a creature like that could fear simple things such as drums?"
"Says Angleterre who claims to see fairies and unicorns," France smirked.
"I saw them with my own eyes, you git!" England yelled, "but wait… you started the tradition of lighting firecrackers?"
"Yes," China replied.
"You bloody git; no doubt you taught Hong Kong how to do it!" England yelled, "Do you know how much of my mornings wasted thanks to him setting off firecrackers next to my bed were!"
England quickly jumped at the Chinese Nation and both of them fought a brawl against each other. Meanwhile, the other Allies were making bets on who would win and not helping out to prevent a potential war.
Omake – Marriage for Money
In a small church, China was in a very embarrassing situation himself. He was only walking out of a meeting, and then he was knocked out. The next thing he knew was that he was forced into a white wedding dress and a bouquet of flowers for him to hold. All his provinces and several other Nations were surrounding him, with Korea next to him. The Korean was wearing a white tuxedo on him.
"Korea, what is the meaning of this?" China exclaimed.
"China-hyung, we are getting married!" Korea loudly declared.
"What?" exclaimed the Chinese.
"That's right, old man!" Taiwan declared, "You said that you can't give us hong bao since you are single. By marrying Korea, you will not be single and have to give us money."
"How can you?" China cried, "Can anyone object to this?"
"Wan… is this a good idea?" Philippines asked, attired as a priest, "and those two are not Catholics by the way."
"HAHAHA!" laughed Fujian, "this is even better than the Christmas bloodbath crisis."
Hong Kong took out his cell phone and began to take pictures of China dressed in a wedding dress.
"Err… this is very strange… but I think I will give you my blessings," Sichuan said.
"You should totally wear those type of clothes more often," Jiangsu said.
"This is cute too," Henan remarked.
"…Can someone tell me what is going on?" Hebei asked.
"Is anyone on my side?" China cried.
"I am, my future wife!" Korea said, "Your breasts will be mine too!"
Author's Notes
The title 过年 is literally "survive the Year", which a term that refers to Chinese New Year. It can also be interpreted as surviving the Nian monster.
Huaxia is a term for the Chinese before they had any established government.
Note that only married couples have to give out hong baos (red packets) and must be given to single people.
Fujian is referring to the Hetalia Christmas Bloodbath 2010. Himaruya-san has done a post about China receiving messages from his provinces (specifically Fujian, Sichuan, Jiangsu, Hebei and Henan) about his "cross-dressing" incident. Their comments are somewhat based on their messages to China about him wearing female clothing.
And finally, Happy Lunar/Chinese New Year to one and all.