Thank you to everyone who read the first chapter of this, for your encouragement . Also thank you to my betas Octoberland and Solar Eclipses for ironing out the British English, catching my prolific typing errors and giving food for thought.

Extra special thanks to JHorizon77 for lighting the touchpaper on this story with her prompt.

2.

Dusk had arrived, but I could still see the vibrant flash of vermilion in the trees. Victoria was keeping pace with the jeep, despite the fact that looking at the speedometer made me wince. Carlisle might not have Edward's penchant for speed, but he wasn't shying away from it either. We were lucky there was little traffic around, and the cops were too busy hunting in the woods for killer bears to be watching out for speeders.

"I take it from your conversation with Billy Black that there's a new generation of werewolves among the Quileutes?" Carlisle asked, breaking the silence.

"Yeah." I kept the phone in my hand in case Alice called back, scrolling through the list of contacts aimlessly. Talking was easier than thinking about what Alice had just said. She'd told me Charlie was safe, and I had to trust her. There was nothing else I could do, and going back would just put him directly in danger. While Victoria was following us, we were leading her away from him. "They said they could handle Victoria, but they're just teenagers. All of them. I mean, they look older, but inside they're just boys. They think it's fun; they don't really understand the danger they're in."

"You know you're just a teenager, too."

"Technically, yes, but I've always felt older. I know that I'm not making the rash decisions that they do."

Edward's name appeared on the screen, just one name among many, and I ran my thumb over it before I realized what I was doing, resuming scrolling as soon as I did.

"You've spent time with them?" Carlisle's voice was neutral. I remembered Jake's speech about the cold ones being the wolves' natural enemy – would Carlisle would be angry despite the truce?

"Jacob – that's Billy's son – he's been really good to me. I don't know how I would have survived without them. Literally. They saved me from Laurent."

"Fraternizing with werewolves. Edward will love that." Carlisle seemed amused rather than angry. I thought I could even detect a note of sarcasm, a definite first for him.

"Why? Has he got something against them?" I bristled, ready to defend them.

"Against werewolves? Not especially. I'm thinking more about Edward's…protective side."

"They were protecting me."

"I don't think he's going to see it that way, unfortunately. Werewolves, especially young ones, tend to be unpredictable. They're prone to mercurial moods and outbursts of temper. They can pose a danger to the people around them while they're still getting used to their strength."

"You know me, I love danger. And wouldn't that be a little hypocritical coming from a vampire?"

"I'm not saying that you shouldn't have spent time with them. I'm just anticipating Edward's response."

"Whatever happened with the wolves couldn't have been worse than getting a paper cut in a room full of vampires."

Carlisle didn't smile. I flipped the phone shut, and a moment later it lit up with a message from Alice.

J and I are on our way. It'll be okay, I promise.

"How can she know that?" I asked after I read it out, bouncing my feet as the nervous energy came rushing back. "How can she possibly know that when she didn't even see the paper cut happening?"

"Alice's visions are far from flawless," Carlisle replied. "The future is too much of an unknown quantity, too dependent on conflicting variables, too formless to pin down. I fear we grew too trusting in her ability. Nevertheless, that doesn't mean we can't place a measure of trust when she is actively searching our immediate futures."

"But she said she couldn't see Charlie's future. Right now, she has this huge gaping hole, and I don't know if he's going to be alright. I don't know if this is going to be worth it."

He gave me a sharp look, detecting the meaning beneath my words then glanced back in the side mirror, distracted by whatever he saw there. I checked too then twisted in my seat to stare through the rear windshield.

Victoria was in the middle of the road, her hair bright in the gloom, surrounded by a ring of wolves. As the jeep rounded a curve in the road, one took a leap at her. She used his body as a launch pad to spring from, disappearing back into the dense cover of the trees.

"No!" I yelled, as if they would hear me. "They were supposed to stay away from her!"

They were already out of sight, and Carlisle didn't slow the car down. "It may be what we need to get you away without her chasing us."

"They could get hurt!" I protested. "We should go back."

"I'm sorry, Bella. The wolves can protect themselves. If you're there, the chances of them getting hurt vastly increase. She was trying to escape from them – our turning around will lure her back and result in a fight."

I dropped my head into my hands. This was what I had been trying to avoid. His phone buzzed again; another message from Alice.

I can see her future again. She's heading deep into the forest, away from Forks for now.

"She escapes," I told him. He nodded. I didn't feel any calmer – just because nothing had happened this time, didn't mean it couldn't. They'd keep pursuing Victoria, and because we'd evaded her, she'd surely return to Forks.

"It's interesting that her future disappeared when she crossed paths with the wolves," Carlisle said thoughtfully, trying to distract me. "And it bodes well for your father."

"You think Alice can't see the wolves?"

"It's a possibility. You asked Billy to send the wolves to protect him."

"But Alice told me his future disappeared before I asked him to do that."

"And you think the wolves wouldn't have done that anyway?"

He had a point, but it didn't make me any less uneasy. If there was a fight between Victoria and the wolves, or the wolves were too close if Victoria decided to attack Charlie, Alice wouldn't see it coming.

"Speaking of Billy…you sounded very final when you spoke to him."

"I guess I did." I leaned my head against the glass of the window. I wasn't used to my nerves being this on edge, not for months. Apart from brief moments of exhilaration when I'd been seeking the company of my hallucinations of energy, I'd been mostly numb. I'd forgotten how feeling alive meant sometimes feeling overwhelmed.

Carlisle kept quiet, waiting to see whether I would finish the thought or elaborate. When it became clear I wasn't going to continue, he spoke instead.

"You know, there's nothing stopping you from returning to Forks when this situation is resolved. It may be difficult explaining your disappearance to your father, but that wouldn't mean you couldn't go back at all."

"I know. It's not just that." I took a deep breath and looked at him. "I've made up my mind."

He didn't ask me what I'd made up my mind about. "Bella, this isn't something you should decide in the space of an hour. You need time to think about it, weigh up your options."

"That's just it; I already made this decision months ago. Edward just wouldn't listen to it." Saying his name aloud for the first time in months was like speaking around shards of broken glass in my throat. I had to pause before I could speak again. "The only thing that changed was the fact that you left and that meant I had no choice except to stay as I was. That was never what I wanted."

He stayed quiet, the furrow of his brow indicating he was thinking, until the trees thinned out and we reached the outskirts of Port Angeles. We drove to the docks, and still the only words Carlisle said were to the woman at the ticket booth as he bought us tickets to Vancouver Island. We climbed back into the car and waited for the next ferry to arrive with Carlisle still lost in his thoughts. I let mine wander too, to the choice I had in front of me.

I could go back to Charlie. I'd be grounded until I graduated - at least - but I'd have some time to properly say goodbye to him. I could use the tickets to Jacksonville that I'd gotten for my birthday, the ones I'd forgotten even existed until tonight, to go see Renee one last time. I didn't have to give them up just yet.

But it felt like I had to do this now. Carpe diem. My life had been on hold since Edward left and it effectively remain on hold until I became like him; how could I plan for the future when I was waiting for the change to happen so my life with him could truly begin? I had an opportunity to change that and I needed to seize it, even though the thought of never seeing my parents again made my throat ache with unshed tears.

"You should still take some time to think this over," he said as I sat twisting my fingers together, failing to find another outlet for my nerves. I'd curled my legs under me on the seat to keep my feet still. "You can't reverse this once it's done, and Edward will take it badly if you come to regret it in any small way. He'll blame himself."

"Why would he blame himself? This hasn't got anything to do with him."

Carlisle raised an eyebrow and I blushed under his skepticism.

"Okay, it has something to do with him," I conceded. "I don't feel whole without him, and if he feels the same…well, it's inevitable we should be together. Keeping me human just seems like delaying the inevitable."

"So you don't want him to change you himself?"

"He wouldn't do it," I whispered, not answering the actual question. "You know he wouldn't."

"Bella," he said, patient and kind, "I know you'd want it to be him. If you wait for Victoria to be dealt with by Jasper, it's something you can discuss when you see Edward again. Given everything that's happened, you might find his attitude towards changing you has altered."

"It won't. You know it won't!" I slammed my hands down on the dashboard. "This is never going to end - Victoria is going to keep coming after me. Even if you're right and Jasper can kill her, it won't change Edward's mind, and it won't change the fact that I attract danger."

I thrust my arm out towards him, showing the scars criss crossing my skin from all the times I'd fallen down and cut myself.

"One day, something's going to happen that Alice won't see and none of you will be able to prevent. He's always going to want to keep me this way, but I'm too vulnerable. If I'm already changed then he can't try to dissuade me, can't delay it, and he can't interfere. This is my choice and I won't let him make another decision for me based on what he thinks is best."

There was silence after my outburst. Carlisle started the engine as the ferry approached the dock.

"So you want me to do it?" he asked quietly. I nodded. "I'm honored that you'd put so much trust in me."

"Of course I do," I said. "I don't know of another person in the world that I would trust so implicitly."

"Even…?"

"After everything…yeah, even him."

It was true, and the truth was painful to admit. The look he gave me was weighted down with sadness.

"I need some time to think, myself," he said.

"I get that. You just need to know that this is what I want, Edward or no Edward."

We climbed out of the jeep when we were parked on the ferry and headed up to the indoor seats, finding a secluded corner of the deck. Carlisle checked his phone, but there was no signal, and we lapsed into silence. He was doing his thinking, and I was left to fiddle with the hem of my jacket, tapping my fingers on the plastic chair.

He glanced over at me once as I kicked my feet against the metal leg of the table. "Sorry. I should have brought a book or something," I said, stilling my feet.

"We could talk instead," he suggested. "I can think later."

"Okay." I was struggling to think of a time when I'd spent this much time with Carlisle – just Carlisle, when I wasn't being treated for injury.

"How have you been?" he asked gently. "I know things can't have been easy for you, given the way you reacted when I arrived. You seemed to be coping well, if you were scheming to come find us, but I doubt that was the full picture."

I twisted my fingers together in my lap. "No, it really wasn't," I admitted. "I was a wreck for the first few months. Charlie was preparing to send me to Jacksonville, to live with Renee, and that was the only thing I really reacted to. I just felt…hollow. There was nothing left of me except this shell, and it looked like me and it sounded like me, but it was empty and the only thing it was capable of feeling was this pain."

I looked away from his unflinching gaze, the empathy in his face. "I've been in a lot of accidents, Carlisle, and I've had my share of pain, but this was different. I've even had venom burning inside me, and that didn't compare. It was worse, and nothing could make it go away, not sleep, and not time. And I didn't have anyone to talk to, because everyone who understood had gone away…" I bit my lip to will the tears away. I'd already cried in front of Carlisle once today.

Instead, I told him about the wolves, and the motorbikes, and my visions of Edward. He didn't judge or react like Edward or Alice would have done. He just listened calmly, with acceptance, asking questions when he needed clarification and giving me room to speak when I needed it.

When I was done, he leaned in, cupping his hand under my chin, lifting my face so I was looking at him. I'd been staring at my lap through most of my speech.

"I'm sorry, Bella," he said, and there was sincerity in every word. "I'm sorry for all the pain we caused you."

I shrugged. "It wasn't your fault, was it?"

"No, but I could have done more to prevent it. As I've said, we all knew it wasn't the wisest course of action, and yet we went along with it anyway."

We lapsed back into silence until land appeared through the windows, and we headed back down to the car. I let him sink back into his thoughts as we drove off the ferry, getting our passports checked through the window and setting off into terrain that looked almost exactly like Washington.

"You know, I've never been outside the U.S.," I said. "And yet, here I am. In Canada."

He chuckled and steered us through the town – ironically named Victoria – and onto the highway. I watched the landscape roll by the window, which soon turned to forest, and I felt a pang in my gut as I realized I'd probably never see Washington again.

"Would you like to listen to some music?" Carlisle asked, interrupting the silence.

"I haven't really been into music since…well, you know. I've learned to like the quiet."

He gave me another searching look, one tinged with something close to shock, and I squirmed under his gaze.

"His leaving affected everything, didn't it?" he asked. "Every part of your life?"

"Yes," I murmured, and he shook his head.

"I knew he was underestimating the effect it would have on you, but I didn't predict just how badly it would affect you. Sometimes we forget that just because we feel more than humans, that sometimes we are capable of feeling emotions more keenly, that it doesn't mean you can't feel them as deeply as we do."

His phone vibrated and I retrieved it from my pocket, finding Alice's name flashing at me.

We're coming straight to B.C. We'll be there in two days. Charlie will be okay without us there to distract the wolves. If we go, it will start a war.

I sighed and leaned my head back against the seat, relaying the message to Carlisle.

"I suspect that Chief Black isn't happy that you've left the area with a vampire," Carlisle said grimly. "If other vampires turn up, the pack may turn on them. This way, we have some space to regroup and strategize. Not my forte, so waiting for Jasper is the best option, although I think we'll need to lure Victoria away from Forks towards us."

He turned the jeep off the highway onto a smaller road that cut into the forest. "We're almost at the house," he informed me. "I think you should know that I've reached a decision."

I didn't look at him, keeping my gaze firmly on the greenery brushing past the car, waiting for him to continue. If he was about to tell me he wasn't going to change me, I didn't want to see the pity on his face when he spoke.

"I agree with everything you've said and I understand it. The bond you feel for Edward runs deep, and it runs both ways. You are vulnerable, especially if we have conflict ahead of us, and if something were to happen to you, it would destroy him. I don't want to lose either of you, and I certainly won't lose both. I know you understand the consequences of this choice. If you want me to change you, I will."

"Thank you," I said in an exhale. If I could have hugged him, I would, but the safety harness kept me in my seat.

"Do you want to do this immediately?" he asked.

"I don't see any point in waiting. If we start the change this evening, I'll already be through it before the rest of the family arrive. You can start planning how to deal with Victoria, and I won't be something you need to plan to protect as well as take down Victoria."

"Bella, you realize you'll be disoriented to begin with? And all you'll be able to think about will be feeding? You might not be up to following any strategy we come up with."

"But I won't be a liability."

"Bella, you were never a liability."

"Well, I'll be able to fend for myself. If I'm going to be obsessed with feeding, that won't change no matter when you change me. Better that I do it out here and better that I can fight Victoria when we face her."

We turned onto a path that no other car could have gotten down, a mere gap between the trees, although the jeep handled it fine. The ground jolted and rolled beneath us.

"Okay," Carlisle replied. "We'll do it tonight."

We reached a clearing and as the trees opened out, they revealed a timber house, not as big as the Cullen house in Forks but still bigger than Charlie's.

"Thank you," I said again. "This is…" But I couldn't put in into words. Above all, it was overwhelming.

He parked in front of the house, shutting off the engine.

"I still need a little time to prepare," he said. "There is something I want to try that may help ease the pain of the change. First, I need to go and open the house up, get the generator running. Bear with me, I won't be long."

He took the phone and left me in the jeep, entering the garage through a side door. A few minutes later the lights inside flickered to life. He returned to help me out of the harness and retrieved my bag from the back seat, leading me through the front door.

"Please excuse the dust. We don't often use this house and nobody's been here for a while."

The entrance had opened into one large room with a kitchen area off to one side (completely lacking in electrical appliances) and the living area taking up the bulk of the space, furnished in overlarge leather sofas. A staircase of exposed wood led up the back wall to the upper stories. It was more rustic than I'd come to expect from the Cullens, but it made sense if they used it as a retreat, rather than a regular home.

"Is the hunting good?" I asked, feeling the need to say something.

"It's more than adequate, since we're here so rarely. Although we'll have to move onto somewhere with more variety soon, probably into northern Canada."

I dropped my bag onto one of the armchairs and stood awkwardly in the middle of the room as he bustled around, plugging appliances in and flipping blinds open. He was moving a little faster than a human, but not at full vampire speed.

"I've had another message from Alice," he told me as he went to a cupboard in the kitchen area, pulling out a first aid kid. "She said she agrees with you."

"That's good." I was hoping she'd seen something that proved this was a good idea. "She wasn't more specific?"

He returned to my side with a syringe full of clear liquid.

"No." He followed my gaze to the syringe. "It's morphine," he explained. "I'm hoping it will help you through the pain, at least until it wears off."

He looked so hopeful that I smiled at him after only a moment's hesitation. "Good thinking." He didn't need to know that it hadn't helped at all last time, when James had bitten me. We'd never discussed the results after that happened, and if it brought him some comfort thinking I wasn't going to suffer as much as I could, I wasn't going to disillusion him.

"Are you sure?" he asked softly, searching my face for any signs of uncertainty. "This can wait. We can deal with Victoria while you are human and return to this decision later."

"How are we doing this?" I replied briskly. "Do you just…bite me?"

"Yes," he said, still scrutinizing me. "It doesn't get more sophisticated than that, I'm afraid. I'll inject the morphine immediately before, although you'll still feel the bite."

"Okay." I was nodding maniacally, the impact of my decision suddenly in front of me. Becoming a vampire was one thing. I wanted that. I still had to get bitten by one and suffer excruciating pain for three days first, and no matter how much I wanted this, it wasn't going to be pleasant.

"Shall I just…sit?" I asked, pointing to one of the sofas.

"If you like."

I scooted over, sitting down on the edge.

"You might want to lie down," Carlisle suggested. I did, stretching out on the cushions, ignoring the rumble in my stomach. I hadn't eaten for hours, but there wouldn't be any food here, and it wouldn't matter in a few minutes anyway. I hadn't had a human moment since I left school this afternoon. It was strange to realize that I wouldn't do that ever again. I wouldn't eat solid food, or sleep, or cry either - although maybe I'd cried enough for one person already.

Carlisle swept my hair away from my shoulder, exposing my neck on the side closest to him whilst he crouched beside me. I felt a pinch as he slid the syringe into the skin of my forearm, and before I could react, or the drug could have an effect, he leaned in closer.

"God deliver you," he murmured, before I felt his cool lips on my skin, and then the sharp tear of his teeth in my throat.

A sort of numbness followed the pain, what could have been seconds or minutes of emptiness as I sank into unconsciousness, but then the pain returned, sharper, fiercer. It radiated out from my neck, like someone was burning the flesh there, and I was dimly aware that my body was bowing off the couch, my throat tearing with the force of my screams.

I couldn't control my body, fighting frantically to move, to flee the pain and failing. The entire universe had contracted to the wound in my neck and the flames licking through my bloodstream. Nothing else existed.

Time passed and the flames spread, consuming my entire being cell by cell, and it was like I could feel every cell burning, one by one. Every time I thought the pain couldn't get worse, it intensified. No matter how far I retreated into my mind, there was no escape.

"Bella, can you hear me?"

I didn't understand the question. I didn't know who Bella was or who was speaking to me. I couldn't have replied anyway, or given any indication that I'd even heard it.

Whoever it was carried on as if I'd replied, speaking in soft tones, close to a lullaby. He told me about how he'd been through this fire himself and emerged on the other side, to a life where pain - physical pain, at least - was a thing of the past. As eternal as the torment might feel now, I wasn't in Hell, and I would come through this.

He told me about a man called Jasper, who'd fought in the Civil War and been through this too. He'd fought alongside other vampires and won every fight he'd been in. It felt like I should understand who Jasper was, what the Civil War was, what a vampire was, but they were just words, a melody empty of meaning that I could cling to for respite.

Then he told me about Rosalie, and how she'd been attacked and left for dead, how she'd hated surviving to become like this. He told me that Rosalie would probably be very unhappy that I'd chosen this – I chose this pain? – and I was to be patient with her when we met again.

He kept speaking and I let the words cradle me even when I didn't understand them, and gradually I came to the realization that the burning had changed. The pain in my limbs was cooling and the fire was licking its way back towards where it first began, in my neck – no, not my neck, my throat. I tried to gasp for breath around the flames, but I still had no control over my body. As I waited for my next breath to come, I became aware that time was stretching on and I still hadn't taken one.

Am I dead?

I couldn't be sure, floating in the darkness as I was, anchored to the world only by the pain. But with the concentration of the fire and the easing of the ache in my limbs, memories came back to me – who I was, what was happening, everything that had led to this point.

Edward.

I had to wake up. I had to get back to Edward. I knew he hadn't been the one to change me, or the one that had spoken to me while I was burning, but if I stayed here, keeping my eyes closed and the world shut out, I would never get back to him. It was the most important thing in the world that I did that, but something was keeping me pinned here, in this place between life and death, and I didn't know how to escape from it.

My heart sped up and I thought at first it was panic-induced, but instead it kept speeding, a fresh type of pain in itself. The thud of each heartbeat echoed through me, blocking out the soothing words of my companion, swallowing my only connection with the world outside my body. It kept speeding, stuttering, the crazed beat of a thousand drums that were racing to some climax that only they knew, climbing to it in a ragged crescendo, countered only be the shrieking I was doing inside, screaming for release from this.

Then it stopped.

The sudden silence was startling. Even my companion had stopped talking, though I knew I wasn't alone. For the first time, my body was perfectly silent and still, without the need for breath or the beat of a heart.

When I opened my eyes, the world had changed.

Here's the original prompt, now that it's less spoilertastic:

I would love to see how you handle Bella's change, but by Carlisle and not by Edward, (in an instance where Carlisle doesn't have the option to wait for Edward). This request probably comes from my love of all things Carlisle, so I apologize! How does it impact the Edward/Carlisle relationship? The Bella/Edward relationship?