Ungodly Addiction
Thoughts in Italics
I have a universal Disclaimer in my Profile, so all angry mobs bearing pitchforks and torches are unnecessary.
**DIP**
"I'm sorry, Pip, I can't…"
Why can't I get that outta my head?
It's not like it's a big deal - Damien's got work to do, he can't drag me along with him wherever he's gotta go. He's traveling between dimensions and times and living realms and dead realms and me, a mere human, couldn't possibly follow him to all those different places…
I understand, honest I do.
So why does it hurt so bad?
I groan, letting my head fall to the table with a loud, resounding thud, relishing in the throbbing headache coming on. It gives me something to feel in this accursed emptiness that grips me whenever Damien is gone. Something that isn't the faint buzz of alcohol or the dull ache of a hangover.
Well, I guess it's kinda like a hangover, only without the horrendous breath and no memories of the night before.
Instead I have vivid memories of last night. Of Damien and the way he touched, caressed, kissed, loved…
I shake my head, tears blurring my sight and pain ebbing and flowing against my skull like a fucking ocean.
How's that - an ocean of pain. Never ending, ever flowing, never relenting, always fucking there…
I groan, slamming my palm over my eyes as they threaten to tear up and spill over. God, why does it have to hurt so much? To have him leave me behind again and again. I should be used to this by now, right? I know he has work, I know that my frail mortal body can't handle the different dimensions and I'd only weigh him down, drag him backwards…
Fuck, I need to get out of here, out of this dingy little house before I get too depressed. Or go too crazy. I sigh, dragging my slightly sore ass out of bed and dress mindlessly, pulling on shoes as I stumble downstairs.
Coffee, coffee, coffee…
I need it if I'm going to make it out - and back - alive. I slouch into the kitchen and start brewing. I pour most of the pot into a large mug, adding my preferred amount of extra hyper, before slurping it down in ten seconds flat and dumping the mug in the sink on my way out of the house.
I lock up behind myself - there is no way in hell I want repeats of the Fatass - and wander down the street, looking for something to do. I see Kenny waving from across the street, but I don't approach. I don't feel up to conversing with anyone.
Quiet place, quiet place…
Of course!
I turn towards the town's library and trot towards the silent haven of knowledge. I remember using this place to escape from the bullies. It seems appropriate that I now use it as an escape from my own thoughts…
I cross the street, duck away from those sluts Bebe and Wendy before slipping into the heated, quiet sanctuary of books and old people.
And me.
I absently wander amongst the rows and rows of books, looking for something that catches my interest. I haven't been here in so long, and yet everything is still the same. I wonder if they ever unblocked that toilet…
I pause, blink, and about turn. There, just past where I was walking, is a lone black book with no title. I've never seen it before - which is saying something, since I know this place inside and out. I pick up the strange book, eyeing it curiously before taking it to my old chair in the corner of the library. Even after these weeks and months of absence, my old chair is still warm, comfortable, and empty. I smile.
Some things never change.
I flip through the book, trying to figure out what it's about. I see gruesome pictures and pictographs of demons and fire and Hell… It's another one of those mythology books. I snort, moving to close up the book. I don't need to read all these tales about Damien's domain, I can just ask hi-
Wait just a fucking second.
I pull the book open again, staring at the image in front of me. It's one of those in detail drawings from the middle ages - those ones that you find in books about Dracula and shit - but this one, this one's different.
It's a person dying - you know, the usual - but this time, instead of wailing and being judged and going to hell, this person sprouts horns and a tail and joins the ranks of the demons.
What the fuck?
My eyes scroll across the page alongside the image, looking for an explanation. Any explanation for this… transformation. I run my finger long the paragraphs frantically, getting more and more frustrated when I can't find the reason for this drawing.
Why would it show a mortal, a human, becoming a demon? How the hell is that even possible?
Finally, I spot a small paragraph at the bottom of the page, and I lean closer to read it.
It has been said that when a man is desperate enough, they can sidestep the gates to Hell. This does not happen often, if at all, and in order to avoid Hell and it tortures, two things must happen. First, the man must agree to give up his humanity, become servant of Satan, or in other words, a demon. They must choose this life over their human thoughts and emotions.
I snort derisively, thinking of Damien. They don't exactly lose much, picking devilry. In fact, I reckon you gain a lot more, and don't lose half as much as they make out…
Second, the man must be desperate. Not to avoid punishment, for Satan would know and bring the man in anyway. The man must either be desperate to finish something they could not in life - in which case they would become more like a ghost than a demon - or they must have a particularly strong emotion - usually hate, dedication, love or another equally strong feeling - keeping them from moving on…
I sit back, my mind whirring with this new knowledge. There's a chance that I could become a demon. A chance to dodge Hell and become one of the immortally damned. A chance to be like Damien, follow him where he goes, never be left behind again.
A chance to be with Damien forever.
AN~
*insert Dramatic music here*
Pip figures out a way to be with Damien? What will happen next?
Okay people, I know a lot of you are going to hate me for this, but we really are hitting the end of the UA road now. I predict another three, possibly four chapters, but then I'm done.
I want to thank two people here and now, before I get distracted by something shiny.
First, to my buddy Louis, who read half of this chapter and convinced me to keep going. I wasn't really feeling the flow, but with his blatantly false and overly cheery comments about it being brilliant, I decided to stick with it. Thanks man, you saved us all from having to wait another month for an update!
Also, a huge thank you to XxNenisCullenxX, my newest reviewer and holder of the prestigious 69th review! Yes, I know I'm immature, but it made me laugh, so I'm thanking her anyway.
Thanks to all my lovely readers and reviewers, and I'll see y'all next time!
Zanchev