Dear Mercedes,
Stacy asked about you again today. With Mom working so late, I think she misses having another female around. She used to sing that song that you taught her all the time but she stopped because she said it makes me upset. She's pretty observant, my little sis.
Dad keeps telling me that strong tree's don't grow without strong winds. I think he's just tired of seeing me so down. I try not to be - it's the last thing I want them to see - but you were right, my eyes give me away too easily.
I was thinking how funny it is that we grow up with TV shows telling us that no matter what we will be ok. That if you quit your job, it will always be waiting for you again. That the only thing a High School student really has to worry about is not having a date for their Senior Prom. I don't think I will ever feel this naive again. I've seen the world for what it is now, and I know what has actual value.
I shouldn't write this but I miss talking to you. I miss having conversations like this and having someone who understands. I miss the way you'd listen and not look at me like I was crazy/boring you/exaggerating. I miss the way you'd rest your head on my chest, and how I could feel your every reaction on my own skin. I miss the way you would say my name, like I was somebody, and not just that homeless guy that everyone had to walk on eggshells around.
I miss being something more to someone.
I heard you've been seen around town with some guy. Good. I'm glad for you. You're a light, Mercedes. A light that makes everything brighter. The thought of you wasting your light on pointless memories makes me sad. I'm doing enough of that for the both of us.
Yours Always,
Sam