I slept. For hours.

"Rose?"

It's him, once again. He's always here, always in my mind.

"Rose, look at me."

Loneliness. Dark, empty, alone. But the cell seems to be getting bigger and bigger, my soul shrinking more and more.

"Rose, I want you to look at me. Rose? Rose!"

Slowly, I turn away from the white, stark walls, and he stands there, really there.

"What are you doing here?" I ask levelly.

"I wanted to talk to you. I needed to talk to you."

I shrug. "There's nothing to say."

He sighs. "Rose-"

"Please leave."

Silence. Maybe it really was my imagination.

I finally cracked my swollen eyes open, the light from the dirty window makes me squeeze them shut again.

Dimitri. His name sweeps into my memory, and I groan.

I loved him. I still love him. After everything he's ever said to me. I love him with all my heart. Every piece of it.

I wonder what my life would be like if he hadn't been taken away from me. No doubt I would be at Court, in my own apartment, possibly even house, and not socially rejected. Perhaps I'd be waking up, just like this, but wrapped in Dimitri's arms. Perhaps I'd wake up, staring at the ceiling, and turn to meet a glowing pair of warm, liquid brown eyes.

But instead, I was here, in a crappy motel room, waking up alone after crying myself to sleep. Not exactly the life I had wanted.

But what I wanted wasn't supposed to matter anyways. They come first. But I had left her behind, even though it was for her own good.

Or was it?

Suddenly, my stomach cramped at the very thought that I, on some level, had done exactly what Dimitri had done. Not being able to handle my own emotions, and the punishment that lay with them, I had pushed myself away, not just from Dimitri, but from everyone in my life.

Oh God.

But the stubborn, angry rebel inside me tells me to stand my ground. I can't go back. I can't.

And then, like a sick joke, my phone begins to vibrate. I groan, slowly lift myself up, and grab the phone off of my bedside table.

Incoming Call From:
Dimitri

Just watching the name on the screen, I wait until the phone stops ringing, although I'm not sure if it's willpower or lack of it that keeps me from picking up.

I set down my phone, my eyes flicking towards the window. Darkness. I had slept for an entire day, and night. I had been sleeping horriblyevery since I got here. Really, ever since I had been imprisoned.

I guess it was finally catching up to me. After you heard Dimitri's voice.

I groan again and push myself out of the tiny cot, ignoring my own scolding thoughts. I suppose I could go out, find a club, stake out strigoi, but my own self pity and loss is overwhelming.

My phone vibrates again. This time, longing and lonliness controlling me, I answer.

"Roza."

I sigh. "Roza, please talk to me, I need to hear your voice. Just once."

My shaking mouth opens. "I'm sorry," I whisper, incredibly softly. I'm not even sure if he heard me, the reception is crackling, but he lets out a breath.

"Oh, Roza, don't be sorry. Please, please just come home."

"I can't," I mumble.

I can hear Dimitri shift, moving around, maybe in frustration. "Yes, you can. Rose, you don't need to be embarrassed. Everyone-"

"Embarrassed? I don't want to come home. I left for a reason. Why are you even calling, Dimitri, I think you made it pretty clear that you don't care about me."

"That's not true!" he argues. "I care about you, more than anyone else, Rose, I care."

I roll my eyes. That stubborn piece of-

God, what is it about him? Angry boils through me, and I hang up.

Embarrassed? I'm not embarrassed. Never.

I'm just strong enough to say away from him. Does he not understand how anyone could?

But a part of me wanted to go back. I missed everyone. I partly regretted my decision.

But I couldn't go back. My pride wouldn't let me.

I silently cursed. I was embarrassed.

Once again, Dimitri Belikov knew me better than I knew myself.