I circle my torso, dodging his punch and giving me enough momentum to thrust a punch at his chest. But unfortunately, he easily brings his forearm up, brushing mine aside. My wrist is tilted painfully to the side, and I wince.

"Stop."

I sigh loudly and take a step back. When a guardian called a break during a spar, you did it.

"What?" I groan.

"What do you mean, what? I saw you, Rose, you were in pain," he replies, examining my arm.

"It was just-"

He sighs, cutting me off. "Rose, I don't want to hurt you even more. I think we should return to weight-lifting."

I moan childishly. "No! Please, I'm doing good, Dimitri. I was fine! I promise. Please, look, I'm already getting some of my flexibility back. Look!" I rotate my wrist, watching it's slightly lopsided journey.

Dimitri doesn't look convinced. "Weights, Rose."

I grumble and move towards the shelf. We were in the Belikov's unfinished basement, which held a plush gym mat and a small shelf of weights, as well as a punching bag. I pick up the fifteen pound. No, it wasn't exactly going to qualify me for any weight-lifting competitions, but my strength had been severely weakened.

At the end of our 'training session,' Dimitri would hold my wrist and stretch it, gently bending it back, moving it from side to side.

He nods in approval. "Very good, Rose. Hopefully by the end of the year, you'll have at least close to full mobility."

My disappointment grows. "Dimitri, it's January."

He smiles, a stupid, sarcastic smile. "But it's late January."

"Kids!" Olena calls from upstairs. "Lunch is ready."

We bound up the stairs, both starving from our pratice. We grab sandwiches off of the plate, shoving them greedily into our mouths.

"How's the wrist?" asks Viktoria between bites.

I smile. "Doing well, now that Dimitri finally agreed to train me."

His entire family smiles, and I laugh at his groan of irritation.

"I was being considerate."

I snort. "You just didn't want to fight me," I tease. Dimitri growls and steals my sandwich right out of my hands and takes a bite. I squeak and try to grab it back, but Dimitri just keeps me at arms length and finishes it quickly.

I huff playfully and grab another one, trying to shield it from Dimitri's reach.

Olena shakes her head. "You two have been fighting for hours. Don't you ever have enough?"

"No," we both reply, grinning. I kiss Olena's cheek, thanking her for lunch, and we return to the basement.

"Can we spar?" I beg, feeling oddly giddy. But Dimitri shakes his head, and I pout. Memories of the academy flash through my head. It's like nothing's happened at all.

"No, Rose. We've been over this."

I repress a smile. "Oh, please? Please, please, please, please, plea-"

"Alright! alright!"

I smile, for the millionth time today, and bound over to the mat, getting into a fighting stance.

My the freakishly happy, giddy feeling evaporates as Dimitri pins me again. And again.

And again.

I growl in frustration and push myself off of the mat after hours of sparring. "Again."

"Rose, it's already dark out-"

"Once more?"

He sighs, pushing the fallen strands of hair away from his face. "Alright. Once more."

We circle, like bull and temptress, though I am the one to lunge. He dodges, and kicks my feet out from under me. I stumble onto the mat, my cheek hitting the blue vinyl.

Dimitri's on me in an instant, his palms pressed against the back of my hands, his chest on my back.

"Win," he whispers, his lips next to my ear. The pressure from his body disappears momentarily before he flips me over. I stare at the ceiling, groaning.

"Are you okay?" he asks, and I can't help but nod, because he is laying on top of me, palms on either side of my head, body pressed against mine. He pauses, looking deep into my eyes, searching for something.

I gulp. "Are... Are you okay?"

He jumps off of me, not even offering me a hand. "Yeah. Yes, I'm fine."

He begins to pace, turning away from me, his head bent. I step forward.

"Dimitri-"

But the second my comforting hand touches his shoulder, he explodes, turning sharply, slapping my hand to the side.

"Don't."

I growl. "I'm just trying to help you! Don't take this out on me, I didn't do anything!"

"I'm not taking this out on you! Just don't touch me, okay? Don't?"

"What, like this?" I yell, shoving my hands against his chest. He takes a step back, but his eyes narrow.

"Don't touch me!"

I move forward to push him again, but he grabs my hands, twisting them behind my back and pressing me up against the wall. I wait until his ragged breath smooths, until his grip loosens.

"Dimitri," I murmur softly.

I feel as his hands become shaky, and he leans his forehead against my shoulder, panting.

"It's alright," I whisper, and gently turn, so we are face to face. I slip my hand up to his jaw, stroking his cheek with my thumb. This time, he leans to my touch, his eyes closing. "It's going to be alright."

Suddenly, his eyes open slowly, and he leans forward. Our lips meet, and his kiss is slow, but needy.

But, as always he tenses, pushing away. "That shouldn't have happened. I don't-" he gulps. "I don't feel that way about you."

I repress tears, feeling the same sting, the same pain. "Don't worry. I don't feel that way about you either. I miss Adrian, is all."

And I flee. I run up the stairs and fling myself onto the bed, hugging the pillow close to my body.

Sobbing, I pick up my phone from my bedside table, and dial, hearing the comforting ring.

"Adrian," I whisper. "Please come get me."

...

A new morning, a new day, although one filled with pain, as all of them seem to be.

I stretch in bed and quickly brush my teeth and hair, exiting my room. I bound down the stairs, pouring myself a glass of orange juice.

"Morning, Olena," I say, trying to hide my sadness. I was used to it by now. My wrist felt tight and tense, and I wonder if I slept on it wrong.

She smiles. "Good morning, Roza."

All of the sudden, the man I never, ever, expected to see again, see alive at least, appeared in the doorway.

"Dimitri," I breathe.

He freezes. Tanned, brown-eyed, god-like. Slowly, he raises a brow. One perfect, mortal brow.

I throw myself at him.

"I thought," I sob. "You were strigoi." I cling on to him, wrapping my arms around him.

When I look up from his solid chest, he's giving me the Rose-is-crazy look.

His arms don't go around me, like how I fantasized. Instead, they are lifted, as if he is afraid to touch me. He just stares at me, heavy bags under his eyes, like he hasn't slept at all.

"Rose, what-" he sighs. "What's the last thing... that you remember?"

I clench onto his shirt. "I... I remember the caves... and you were taken. And I came to Russia to come find you. But then there was an attack, and this guy named Abe brought me to our family's house, and I've been here ever since."

He lets out a shaky breath and steps out of my arms. I try to reach for him, wanting him close to me.

"Dimitri! Wait, what did I do? Please-" I choke on my own tears.

"Dimka," Olena whispers. "Honey, she doesn't remember. She doesn't understand, don't do this to her."

He stares at his mother for a long moment, before slowly turning towards me, lifting his arms.

I rush forward, and he kisses my forehead, rocking me slowly. Dimitri leans against the kitchen counter, and my height is closer to his, allowing him to rest his chin on the top of my head.

"Shh, Roza," he murmurs softly. "It's alright. It's going to be alright. I'm here." He then trails into a string of Russian, and I can hear a sniff from the always-romantic Karolina.

"But how?" I whisper. "And what do you mean I don't remember? I don't remember what? And Dimitri, you were taken. I saw you. And Mason said you were strigoi! And I was so scared... Oh Dimitri, I love you so much!"

He tenses, and Olena decides to answer for him, and I turn in his arms to face her, squeezing Dimitri's hand. "Roza, you were here for the first time over a year ago. Lissa used her Spirit to turn Dimitri back into a dhampir. But lately, you've been having memory lapses, but they've never gone back this far."

A headache throbs in my temple as I struggle to absorb this information. "No..."

But the looks on their faces tell me that they're completely serious. "O...Okay... But... why am I here again?" is all I can say, is the only dialogue that I can muster, however stupid.

Olena smiles, and Dimitri's grip around my waist loosens. I press myself against him, feeling the loss.

"Because, Roza, you ran away from Court. Dimitri came after you... He came to find you."

"Why did I run away?"

Olena shakes her head, a maybe another time... response, but Dimitri's cracked voice comes from behind me.

"Because of me."

He releases me and walks briskly from the kitchen, never looking back.

...

"Dimitri?"

He looks up from his spot lying on the couch, his eyes leaving his novel. He notices me, and seems to sink into himself.

I sit on the armchair across from him. "Are you alright?"

He nods sharply, eyes travelling back to his Western. "Yes."

"Doesn't sound like it."

He sighs loudly. "I'm fine, Rose."

I flinch, clenching my hands in my lap. "Okay. I'm sorry."

Dimitri sighs again, but this time, it's tired and regretful. "I'm sorry, Rose. I don't mean to be this way. We just- A lot has happened between us, and I can't... I just can't..."

I nod, as if I know what he is about to say.

"Hey," he murmurs. "Look at me."

But I keep my eyes on my lap. "Rose, please."

I slowly lift my head, meeting his gaze.

"What's wrong?"

My emotions betray me, and I sniff, shaking my head.

"Roza, tell me what's wrong."

My chest heaves with a sob, and I managed to catch the rest of my tears before they depart. "I thought you were dead. I thought I was going to have to kill you. And know you're suddenly back and you're always angry with me and I don't know what I did. Please, tell me what I did. I don't-"

He is up from his relaxed position, and his arms go around me awkwardly. "Rose, I'm sorry. I know you don't remember. I don't mean to do this to you, really. I'm just... I'm having a hard time, lately, and I can't seem to get through it."

I smile and sit on the edge of the couch, brushing his hair gently from his face. "Hard time with what?" From his look, I can tell I won't get an answer. "You know, you just made me tell you what's wrong. The least you could do is the same."

He looks down and his hands. "I can't tell you. Not when-" he sighs.

"Not when what?" He shakes his head.

"Dimitri, you don't have anything to be afraid of."

So slowly, he looks up at me. Those eyes. I could have drowned in his soul, and by the looks of it, he had drowned in his own.

"Rose," he chokes, "I did some terrible things as a strigoi. I... I murdered innocent people. I... I killed a little girl. I fed off of you, I used you as my own personal bloodwhore. And that's all you were to me. A bloodwhore. You were something I wanted to own. You were going to be nothing more than my possession."

He stops suddenly, turning his face away from me. My heart explodes. I would give anything to remember.

"Hey," I whisper. "Stop it. Dimitri, you don't think I know you regret those things? I know you, you're a good man, and you're always going to be my hero. But pushing me away isn't going to solve anything."

He sighs and buries his face into the armrest of the couch. "I can't-"

"Shh." I kiss his forehead and pull the blanket up over his shoulder. "Yes, you can. I understand if you just need time."

I lift myself off of the couch, but stop when I feel a gentle tug on my hand.

"Don't go," he whispers.

Slowly, he slides to the back of the couch, and I lay down beside him, letting his shaky breaths turn deep and dull; the kind only sleep can bring.