Chapter Note: Thank you all for the kind words and for everyone who is following the story. A special thanks to Aya001 for pointing out a mistake in the last chapter. I haven't figured out how to reply to the reviews, but I really appreciate them.
I increased the rating just to be safe.
- Chapter 6 –
The door on the far side of the galley opened and Kaidan walked into the mess hall. He froze when his gaze found Shepard and the group at her table.
Shepard felt Joker and Garrus tense up at Kaidan's entrance. Jacob and Miranda turned in their seats to see what had caused the change in atmosphere. Jack turned slightly in her seat and leaned back insolently as she scrutinized Kaidan. James looked around at the reactions and back to Kaidan.
Camp Shepard was firmly entrenched and viewed Kaidan as a threat, Shepard realized with a sharp pang of regret. Kaidan was dressed in fatigues and, as usual, was military perfect. The bitter loneliness replaced her earlier happiness.
"Please join us, Kaidan," Shepard said softly and gave him a small smile.
Kaidan shifted nervously from foot to foot. "I, uh," he stammered and looked down at the floor. "I am going to check the Alliance channels for any updates." He looked again at the stern faces surrounding Shepard.
A movement by Jack caught Shepard's attention and an idea hit her. "Jack," Shepard said to the volatile young woman. "You should do some biotic training with Kaidan."
"What the hell for?" Jack spat as she sat upright in her chair. She threw a dangerous look at Kaidan and he tensed. "I'm stronger than he is." To prove her point, Jack turned her attention to the next table. Several of the new crew members were sitting there chatting. With a wave of her hand Jack sent a wave of energy toward the table. The entire table shuddered and all the cups on the table flew into the far wall. The startled crew members jumped and looked over at Jack, who chuckled. They all quickly left the mess.
"You have more raw power, but Kaidan has more control," Shepard said more strongly, effectively bringing Jack's attention back to her. "You could benefit from learning how to manipulate small items in addition to your exceptional ability to throw large ones."
Jack sneered at Shepard and looked back at Kaidan. She blatantly looked him up and down. Kaidan seemed to shift nervously at her inspection; a slight biotic halo lit his hands as he prepared to defend himself if needed.
Jack tilted her head and spoke to Shepard without removing her gaze from Kaidan. "He does have a fine ass, Shepard. But, I don't see why you're so twisted up over him."
"Jack," Shepard muttered as she looked down at the table in embarrassment.
Jack gave Kaidan a feral grin. "Either beat the shit out of him or fuck him, but get it over with." She leaned nonchalantly back in her chair. "Let me know if you need help with either one."
"Jack," Shepard growled as she thumped the table with a fist. The younger woman turned to Shepard with a satisfied grin on her face. The grin faded instantly at the furious look on her Commander's face and she shrugged.
"Whatever," she muttered and left the mess.
Kaidan muttered something and left as well.
Everyone was quiet for a moment and Shepard tamped down her anger at Jack. She looked over at Vega.
"You have your first training session with the crew today?" she asked him. Shepard had asked that all the new Alliance crew members get trained with one of her ground crew so everyone would be able to work together and they would all know Shepard's style and the commands she gave under fire.
"Yes, Ma'am," he answered with a smile. "I have already arranged the cargo hold to give us room and some cover. It should prove to be a great exercise."
Shepard nodded and excused herself from the table. Joker looked like he was going to say something, but in the end he just watched her leave.
Shepard's anger grew as she made her way to the bottom of the ship. She practically stomped down the stairs into Jack's makeshift quarters.
"What the hell was that all about, Jack?" Shepard growled as she came up to the younger woman.
Jack leaned back on her bunk insolently. "He's a pussy, Shepard."
Shepard took a step closer, her hands balled into tight fists. "This is a military vessel and he's the commanding officer," Shepard growled. "You will show him respect."
Jack stood up and faced Shepard. "Bullshit, Shepard," she spat. "I'm not military and I don't respect anyone."
Shepard took another step closer to Jack and jabbed a finger at her. "You will control yourself and treat everyone on the crew with a little respect or you can get your troubled ass off my ship!"
Jack sneered at her before turning and moving away a couple of steps. "What the hell is your problem, Shepard?"
"Right now it's just you, Jack." Shepard fairly trembled with anger.
Jack considered Shepard for a moment. "You're just pissed that I called your boyfriend out."
"He's not my boyfriend," Shepard growled.
Jack leaned against the wall seemingly unconcerned by Shepard's anger. "Maybe that's the problem. Don't come bitching at me because you can't decide if you love him or hate him."
"That's not the point, Jack. You were totally out of line."
Jack smiled at Shepard. "I'm always out of line and you know it, Shepard. Why don't you just give in and fuck him?"
Shepard shook her head in frustration and paced across the small space before turning back to Jack. "You told me once that for you lonely and alive worked. I've lost a lot of people close to me, Jack. It hurts and it never stops hurting. Maybe I don't want to go through that again. For me distance equals less pain."
"Fuck, Shepard, do you really believe that shit?" Jack barked with a laugh. "You think it won't bother you when Alenko gets torn to pieces because you haven't fucked him recently?" Jack laughed again.
Shepard sucked in a breath at her words and turned away. "Just straighten up, Jack and stop scaring the new crew."
Shepard heard the girl's snort as she climbed the stairs.
Shepard left Jack and made her way to the cargo hold. Her anger had been replaced by a deep weariness. As infuriating as Jack could be, the volatile biotic had seen right through Shepard and her words had cut deep.
Shepard paused as she approached the cargo hold. The doors were open and she could hear the sounds of Vega's training session. She quietly walked to the doors and leaned against the bulk head to watch.
Five crew members were scattered around the room behind crates, Vega was shouting orders and they moved accordingly. She watched as Kaidan appeared behind some containers on the far side of the room and performed a biotic throw at some mannequins stationed at the other end of the room.
Shepard had always enjoyed watching Kaidan practice his biotics. He moved with such grace and concentration; his mastery over his abilities was absolute. A flutter of desire moved inside her at the sight of him and a memory overtook her.
Shepard and Kaidan sat in the mess of the original Normandy playing an Asari board game similar to chess. Garrus and Tali were in chairs against the wall discussing something technical. Liara was listening to Wrex describe Krogan society. It was only a few days after Virmire and Ashley's absence was still palpable.
Shepard leaned forward and watched as Kaidan considered the board and decided on his next move. His brows were furrowed in concentration and his expressive brown eyes scanned every option. His look of concentration increased and a piece rose gracefully from the board and slowly moved to a new location, setting down gently.
"You shouldn't be moving the pieces biotically, Kaidan," Shepard said gently. "You'll give yourself a migraine."
Kaidan looked up at her and gave a slight grin. Shepard quickly looked down at the board to avoid the sudden heat his smile had caused in her. He was her Lieutenant and she wasn't supposed to have these feelings for him.
As she surveyed the board she felt the hair in her face gently moved behind her ear. Her eyes snapped up to see Kaidan looking at her intently, hungrily. As their eyes met she felt his biotic field move from her hair and gently stroke her cheek. The caress and the small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth made her breath catch in her chest. The longing to lean over the board and kiss him almost overwhelmed her. She managed to mutter something about Kaidan winning the game and practically fled the room.
A yell from the cargo hold brought Shepard back to the present and she saw one of the new crew members sprawled on the floor. Vega was standing over the clumsy man yelling about teamwork and following orders. Kaidan stood on the far side, leaning casually against the wall taking in the events.
Shepard quietly left the cargo hold and went to her quarters, diligently trying to bury the feeling of loneliness that the memory and the sight of Kaidan brought.