- CHAPTER 7 –
Shepard, Garrus and Kaidan walked along a faint trail looking for signs of the Rachni. The world was beautiful, richly forested with huge trees and green grass. She couldn't remember the last time she had walked on grass barefoot. She had a momentary desire to take off her boots and do so, but she quickly forced herself to concentrate on the mission.
"There's something…strange about this place," Kaidan muttered and glanced at Shepard. She simply nodded as they moved carefully forward.
Shepard couldn't quite put her finger on what it was that made her kind of jumpy. It was like the whisper of a cloud somewhere in the back of her skull.
Garrus made a hand motion and Kaidan and Shepard quickly took cover among the trees as the Turian crouched down and moved his sniper rifle to look through the scope.
After taking a long look, Garrus quietly joined his two comrades. "There are some crates stacked up just over the hill and to the right," he reported. "I didn't see any movement, but it seems suspicious."
It was very suspicious considering they had seen no hint of civilization. "We'll split up. Kaidan go through the trees and approach from the west. I'll do the same on the east. Garrus, you get as close as you can from here and set up to snipe if we need it." The two men nodded and they all melted into the trees.
Kaidan worked his way slowly through the trees and down the slope. He crouched and looked through the trees once he caught a glimpse of the crates. It didn't quite look like a camp. He inched his way forward making sure to not make any noise.
Kaidan reached a spot where he could see more clearly and scanned the area for any movement. He brought up his rifle and scanned using it. There was nothing alive down there, it seemed. He used his omni-tool to confirm there were no life signs in range.
"I have no readings," Kaidan whispered into the com. "I see some bodies lying behind the crates. I'm going to go in and take a look."
"I've got you covered, Kaidan," Garrus whispered back. "No heat signatures on my scope."
Kaidan waited a moment for Shepard to give the go/no-go, but she stayed silent. He quietly moved out of cover and scuttled to one of the crates.
Kaidan scanned the body lying closest to his crate. "He's definitely dead," Kaidan reported. "He's wearing Cerberus armor, but I can't determine what killed him."
"I'm coming in," Garrus stated as Kaidan moved to check out another body.
Garrus joined him a few minutes later. "Eight dead, no sign of how or what did the killing." Kaidan said as the Turian looked around.
Shepard still hadn't come out of the trees and that worried Kaidan. He hadn't heard any gunfire which was a good sign. "Shepard," he said over the comm..
Garrus looked at Kaidan worriedly when there was no answer. "Shepard, come in," Kaidan said louder. Silence.
"Joker," Kaidan yelled into the comm.. "What is Shepard's location?" He turned to scan the tree line all around them, his face clearly showing his concern.
"She's right there with you two," was Joker's concerned reply.
"Shepard is nowhere in sight," Garrus said back.
"Shit!" Joker yelled. "Her signature just blinked out. She was right next to you guys and now she's not showing up at all. EDI, locate Shepard's bio-signature."
"I do not detect Commander Shepard on the planet surface," came EDI's cool reply.
"Shepard!" Kaidan yelled and took off for the trees where she was supposed to have been approaching. He was completely panicked and his thoughts ran back to when he had opened the escape pod to find she wasn't there. Garrus ran right along side of him calling for the Commander over the comm..
Shepard moved through the trees and found herself looking at a clearing in the forest. It was beautiful with thick grass and clumps of flowers. There was a large downed tree in the middle.
She realized she was not at the location of the crates although her visor had shown she was going in the right direction.
"Shepard to ground team," she said over the comm.. There was nothing but silence. "Kaidan, Garrus, report," she snapped. The channel stayed silent, not even static.
"Joker, this is Shepard. Give me an update," she said as she looked nervously around her. The silence didn't change.
"Shit," she muttered and rubbed the top of her head. The niggling feeling had been increasing and it now seemed like a sound, but there was nothing she could hear except the slight breeze.
She realized she was in the middle of the clearing and had no memory of moving there. It irritated her that she would move to such an exposed location without thought.
Before she could move to cover she noticed movement ahead of her. Shepard crouched and looked around for some cover. She saw more movement from each direction. "Shit," she muttered. Four Rachni entered the clearing and stopped just beyond the trees.
Shepard heard something approaching from behind and she stood up slowly and turned to face it. A larger Rachni came into the clearing and stopped thirty feet from Shepard. Somehow Shepard knew this was the Rachni queen.
The sound in her head grew in "volume" and Shepard scrubbed at her head. It was difficult the think with all the noise.
"I'm Commander Shepard," She said to the Queen, who appeared to duck her head in acknowledgement. "We met on Feros."
The Rachni Queen seemed to inspect Shepard closely and the noise in Shepard's head changed and grew stronger. The Rachni Queen's tentacles moved in a spasm in what appeared to be irritation.
Images ran through Shepard's mind. The destruction of the Normandy, waking up in the Cerberus base, Anderson telling her she could not come back to the Alliance, Kaidan walking away on Horizon.
"No," Shepard yelled and forced herself to concentrate on the Rachni Queen. "The Reapers have come. We need your help."
The Rachni Queen shuddered and more images came at Shepard. The CIC map showing the Bahak system being destroyed, Anderson putting the manacles on her wrists, the Defense Council relieving her of duty.
Shepard sucked in a ragged breath and forced all of those emotions down. "That's not important," she said in a rough voice. "The Reapers…"
The four Rachni moved closer to her and the "music" – that wasn't an accurate term for the sound reverberating through her head, but she couldn't think of a better analogy – became even stronger.
A memory of her parents came to mind. Her twelfth birthday she realized. That had been an awesome day. One of the happiest she could remember. Instantly the pain of their loss when Mindoir was attacked shattered the memory and she ruthlessly pushed the memories away.
"Stop," she pleaded.
The Rachni queen shifted in agitation and the song/presence grew stronger.
A memory of Lisa Matthias came to Shepard. She had been one of Shepard's team members and the first real friend Shepard had made since Mindoir. The pain of losing Lisa and her other friends on Elysium welled up almost as fast. Shepard pushed those memories back down, as well.
"Don't!" Shepard yelled at the Rachni.
An Asari stepped out of the shadows and approached Shepard. "Your song has warped since the first time we met," the Asari said softly and Shepard realized the Rachni Queen was speaking through this woman as she had done on Feros.
"I've had a rough couple of years, but this isn't about me," Shepard said sternly in an attempt to turn the encounter back to her reason for being there.
"Your song is pain and lonliness," the Asari said, ignoring Shepard's words. "You have forgotten the joy."
The song/presence pushed and increased in "volume". Shepard shuddered under the assault as she tried to ignore it.
"Please, don't – " Shepard gasped as she waved a hand in a futile attempt to get the music to stop.
"You must release the pain," the Asari insisted. "It will sour your memories until you deal with it and leave it behind. Your song can not be true if you deny yourself."
Shepard choked back a cry as she put both hands over her ears.
"When first we met you were strong, determined. Your song was powerful and sure. You had around you allies of strength that you trusted. They recharged you, kept you strong. You have some of the same allies with you, but your song is warped, weak. You distance yourself from the songs of your allies, from that which can heal and make you strong."
Shepard squeezed her eyes shut and did not see the Asari withdraw from the grotto. The Rachni Queen walked up to Shepard.
"Don't do this," Shepard pleaded as tears began to fall from her eyes. "I don't want to remember those things. I don't want to feel…"
The other Rachni moved in closer until Shepard was surrounded. Images and the accompanying pain poured over her. Mindoir, Elysium, Williams, 300,000 deaths, fear, lonliness…Kaidan. The Rachni queen placed a tentacle on Shepard's temple and the song became unbearable. Shepard let out long wail of sorrow before passing out.
"…anything?" Shepard heard Garrus' voice over the com as she slowly woke up.
She groaned and tried to push herself off the ground. She fell back down on the grass, completely exhausted. A few tears continued to fall and a hiccup from crying escaped her. Her eyes felt gritty and her face was soaked from crying. She had no idea how long she had been there, but she felt as if she had been crying for weeks.
"Nothing," Joker's panicked voice came over the channel.
"Shepard, " Kaidan called on the communication channel. "Shepard, come in! Where are you!" He sounded even more panicked than Joker and Garrus.
"Kaidan," Shepard said hoarsely. It came out as a plea. More tears fell as she lay there.
"Em!" Kaidan yelled. "Are you all right? Where are you?"
"She's showing on the sensors now, Kaidan," Joker's voice came on. "I'm sending the coordinates to your suit."
"Only Kaidan," Shepard managed to croak.
"Roger," Garrus said uncertainly.
"Shepard," Joker said with concern. "You've been off our sensors for four hours! Are you alright?"
"I'm good," she whispered. "Just tired."
Shepard closed her eyes while she waited. She felt drained and completely exhausted. There was no sign of the Rachni anywhere around her.
She heard the pounding of Kaidan's steps as he ran to her. "Em!" he said with concern when he saw her lying on the ground. "Are you hurt?"
Kaidan fell to his knees by her side and helped her sit up. Shepard felt tears start to fall again, but this time they were from relief. Kaidan held her shoulders as he feverishly looked her up and down for injuries.
"Are you okay?" Kaidan asked quietly when he saw her tears. Shepard could only nod in response. Kaidan let out a rush of breath and put his forehead to hers, his hands gripping her shoulders. "I was so worried! We couldn't reach you and you weren't on the Normandy's sensors. What happened?"
Shepard gave a small smile and put her hands around Kaidan's neck. "Catharsis," she whispered.
"What?" Kaidan whispered.
Shepard simply shook her head. She didn't have the energy to try to explain it right now. "The Rachni are going to help us with the Reapers," she said quietly. She knew this to be true even though she had no memory of the Rachni Queen saying so.
"You saw the Rachni?" Kaidan asked and felt her nod against his forehead.
They sat there for several minutes, heads touching. Both drinking in their relief at finding the other safe.
"Come on," Kaidan said as he helped Shepard to her feet. "Let's get back to the Normandy."
Shepard managed to steady herself holding Kaidan's hand as she stood. "Not yet," she whispered and Kaidan looked at her in confusion.
"Garrus," Shepard said into the com. "Get back to the shuttle. Kaidan and I will be there shortly." Garrus acknowledged her doubtfully and Shepard continued. "Joker, Kaidan and I will be off line for a few minutes."
She heard Joker's concerned "Shepard?" before she turned off her com unit. She motioned at Kaidan and he turned his off, as well.
"Emelia?" Kaidan asked uncertainly, his hand still holding hers.
Shepard let go of Kaidan's hand and walked a few steps away. She turned and looked at him. Her arms crossed over her chest in a clear sign of anxiety. Her eyes were full of uncertainty.
"What do you want, Kaidan?" She asked softly. "Do you want to start over?"
"God, no!" Kaidan said emphatically and raked a hand through his hair. "We wasted so much time worrying about regulations and…" He looked at Emelia sadly. "I regretted that each and every day after you…were gone." He took a ragged breath. "I think that's what hurt the most about losing you," he said softly. "We had the night before Ilos and 48 hours of shore leave after the Citadel. Out of all the months we were together that is all we had and that regret ate at me." Kaidan walked over and took her hands in his.
"Em, I'm sorry for what I said on Horizon," he said quietly. "I'm sorry for what I put you through."
Emelia nodded and couldn't stop a tear from rolling down her cheek. "I know," she whispered.
Kaidan reached up and wiped the tear away and cupped her cheek in his hand. "I want to leave Horizon behind us, move on and spend every day making it up to you." He bent his head down and his lips were just a whisper away from hers. "I love you, Emelia," he said tenderly before he kissed her.
Emelia couldn't stop a moan from escaping as her hands went around his neck and she pulled him closer and returned his kiss.
When they finally broke the kiss, Emelia smiled up at Kaidan. "I love you, Kaidan. More than I ever thought was possible."
Kaidan kissed her nose and ran his thumb along her jaw. "I don't want to hide this anymore, Em. I don't care about regs or the crew. Hell, I don't even care if Hackett is standing in the same room with us. I love you and I don't want to waste a moment of our time together."
Emelia smiled at him and kissed him again. "When all of this is over we can worry about consequences and I'll accept what ever they want to do to me."
Kaidan pulled her into a crushing hug. Emelia clung to him for several moments before pulling back slightly.
With a crooked grin at Kaidan she turned her com back on. "Garrus, we're returning to the shuttle. We'll be there in a few minutes."
"Is everything okay, Shepard?" Garrus asked in concern.
Shepard gave Kaidan a full, glowing smile as he took her hand in his. "Everything's fine, Garrus. Absolutely perfect."
A/N: Thanks for reading. I had a lot of fun writing this and I hope you enjoyed it. I decided to end it here and let you fill in what occurs when they get back to the Normandy *nudge, nudge, wink, wink*.