We pace.

There's nothing else to do. We both pass each other several times over, never stopping to exchange a glance. I can sense Lissa and Christian watching us, staring at our distressed behaviour. But the ancient intercoms crackle in the hallway, making all four of us jump.

A deep sigh. "Guardian 20977, please report to the Guardian offices immediately. Guardian 2-0-9-7-7."

Dimitri freezes. "Not me," he says simply. "What's your number?"

I raise a brow. "We have numbers? Is that new?"

He simply rolls his eyes and pauses in front of me, gently reaching up to grab my nametag. He examines it for several moments before flipping it over, tugging and pulling at my sweater.

"2...0...9...7..." he looks gravely at me, shaking his head. "No. You can't go."

Lissa's flush of panic seizes me. "Don't go, Rose! What if it's him? What if-"

But I have to go. The follow-the-orders Guardian in me nags. I really have changed.

"I'm going anyways. What if it's something serious?" My confidence is completely inflated, and I think that they know it. I'm positive Lissa is.

"You're not going alone," Dimitri states, no question whatsoever in his voice.

"Really? You want to abandon Lissa just to babysit me?" I accuse. Low blow, I know, but I aim for pain.

"I've been doing it ever since the academy."

Whoa. That was completely out of line, even after my previous comment. Especially because I had felt I had grown an incredible amount since my time I had been at the academy.

I grit my teeth together, giving him the hardest glare I had. "Then what the hell where you doing when I was I was trying to find you in Russia?" I smirk, digging low enough myself to create my own grave.

The look on his face almost makes me regrets my words. But his expression hardens. "Trying to avoid you, which, believe me, wasn't easy when you followed me around the country like a lost puppy. You haven't changed that much, Rose."

I repress the urge to scream in anger, not wanting to give him the satisfaction. In that moment, there was no one I despised more.

"Well, I suppose it's good that I found you anyway and was able to... Lissa was able to save you, isn't that right? Do you really think she saved you? That you would be here if it weren't for me looking for you? How does it make you feel that there was only one person in the world who even cared enough to try and save you? I was the only one that even took the time to try and rescue you. Come on, Lissa would never have even thought about you any different than any other loss that day. I saved your soul, Dimitri, although it was obviously a lost cause."

The air became thick and heavy, both Dimitri and I sucking the air from the room.

"Rose," Lissa whispers softly.

I shake my head, letting out a humourless laugh. "No," I say. "No, don't you defend him! He doesn't even deserve it!"

"Would you stop?" He yells along with me. "Okay? I never asked for this!"

I snort loudly. "Poor Dimitri! Don't you hate it when someone gives up their life to save your soul?"

We are now screaming full-fledged, my sarcasm ringing out loud and clear. "I never said that! But what I hate is when you follow me around and scream at me for not doing exactly what you want. You can't always manipulate people do follow your every order. I don't love you anymore! And nothing you say is going to change that!"

I finally cut my emotion loose. Stepping towards him, I bring my arm back. Before my palm can make contact with his cheek, he grips my wrist. We stare at each other, staring each other down.

"I hate you!" bubbles from my lips before I can bite it back. But the damage is done.

"Both of you STOP!" Lissa screams, slipping between us. She fists both of our shirts, pulling us together, and then shoving us away.

"Stop it! Stop fighting! Just shut up, both of you!" My best friend looks like a really pissed-off pixie, her perfect blond hair hanging over her face, her clear eyes blazing.

"Rose!" she yells, turning on me. "Leave him alone! I know it's hard for you, but you can't force this! You can't force him. He's already struggling, and you're suffocating him! Back off and give him some space! You don't understand what he been through, what it's done to him!"

But when she turns on Dimitri, I am too shocked to smirk. "And you! Would you cut her some slack! God, Dimitri, you're giving her whiplash! If you love her, tell her! And if you don't, let her move on with Adrian! Pick a side and stick with it! You told her you didn't love her anymore, so let her go! And you have no right to be jealous, or have any right to control her love life."

Dimitri and I both stare at the tiny girl, then look at each other. The intercom rings through the system again.

"Guardian 20977, report immediately to the Guardian offices."

I squeeze my eyes shut, letting out a shaking breath, and turn on my heel, exiting the apartment without another word. My eyes sting with tears, and I pull my coat closer to my body.

You're suffocating him! I shudder, the words pounding in my head. Maybe if I would have let him have some time, we would be together. Hopeful wishing, and unrealistic, I know, but I couldn't help it. Perhaps I really should move on, as Lissa so kindly pointed out, with Adrian. I did love him, I truly did, and Dimitri obviously didn't love me anymore...

I shake off my own problems as I enter the Guardian offices. The whole place is in a panic, Guardians bustling around.

"What?" I ask. "I was called?"

Hans stops, his face grave. He's always regarded me with some sort of distaste, but now, it didn't seem to matter. I wasn't trying to kill them, like a number of other Guardians on campus.

"Hathaway. Viktor Dashkov has requested to see you."

I want to laugh, want to cry, want to shake Hans so hard and scream at him for being so stupid. "Yeah, well I'm not really up for a little chat with Dashkov, now."

Growling, my boss (former boss?) snatches my wrist like I'm a deliquent teenager. "Listen, Hathaway. This isn't something you can just run away from this time. Lord Ivashkov's life is at stake here, and you don't feel like talking? Would you stop wallowing in your own problems and be a Guardian for once in your life?"

Perhaps it's the emotional hurricane I just experienced with Dimitri, or maybe it's Hans's words, but, either way, my eyes fill with tears. "Adrian?" I whisper.

Hans sighs and releases my wrist, and I am immediately hustled into a small room and loaded with weapons. A stake, of course, as well as a protective vest, bullets, and a gun. Of course, we've been trained to use these things, but the revolver still felt heavy and awkward in my head, cold and lifeless. I've never actually had to use one before. I shove it into my pocket nevertheless, listen to the battle plan, and head out the door.

The sun is starting to set, which, despite the warm air, sends a shudder through my spine. Darkness would dull my sight, and without the ability to sense the living, I felt vulnerable. Completely alone.

Odd.

How long had it been since I had been truly alone? The bond was blocked, Lissa obviously shutting me out, and that made me even more anxious. The only battle I had been in had been an intense war, bodies littering the ground. But this battle was invisible, silent. If Guardians knew one thing, it was the ability to be invisible.

I continue on my way, using every technique Dimitri had taught me. Funny, how Dimitri was always with me.

Rose, I chastise. Stop wallowing in your own problems and be a Guardian for once in your life. The thought makes me grimace and push forward, through the cool night, and into the chapel.

Viktor Dashkov sits on a chair in the corner, hands in his lap, looking quite pleasant and the slightest bit bored. He looks up as I enter, but doesn't at all seem surprised to see me.

"Rosemarie, you're looking well," he comments with disinterest, waving his hand in acknowlodgement, although all of Viktor's Guardians stiffen at my entrance.

"Really?" I chirp. "Because you look like shit."

An exaggeration, perhaps, but he is already starting to thin, his hair quickly graying, the veins looking almost painted onto his transluscent skin. I take pleasure in it, however cruel.

Not even blinking, he clicks his tongue disapprovingingly. "Now, now, Rosemarie, this is a place of God."

"Yet, you haven't burst into flames..."

He stands, holding himself with the most dignity, not seeming at all annoyed with my excessive supply of degrading comments. Once, I had admired this trait, but that had soured as soon as he had decided to join Team Insanity.

"Despite what you think, Rosemarie, I'm not the demon you take me for. All of this," he motions around him to the cluster of young dhampirs, "has a purpose."

"How," I inquire, "Does murdering innocent people have a purpose? You kidnapped my boyfriend! How can you find an excuse for this? How can you justify the deaths this will cause?"

Viktor simply shrugs, like we have been discussing simple business plans. "No one in innocent in this life, Rosemarie. Not really."

With a growl, I shake my head. I think of Lissa, defenseless against strigoi. I think of Mason, naive and determined. I think of Dimitri, who had no say in being turned, who had collapsed from the guilt of what he had unintentionally done. I think of Adrian, somehow pulled into the mess of my life. Loving and trusting Adrian, unaware to my feelings for another man.

"Yes. There is."

Guess what? I'm still alive! Who would have thought, after my ridiculously long absence. I'm still having a bit of writer's block, but am also extremely busy. If anyone has any ideas, I'll be glad to hear them!

A special thanks to:

PlantNerd92

AlexandraOzera

Helena-Janetta-Jones

I absolutely loved hearing from you! Thanks for your messages, it meant a lot to me.