Letting Go
Chapter 23
Sam just took a deep breath as she pushed her way out of Jason's grip, she could not give in that easy, no matter how good it felt to be back in his arms again. She gave in too quick last time with Elizabeth and look at what happened, she needed to stand her ground and finally tell Jason how she felt and not be afraid of his reaction. "It's just words Jason. I am not asking you to change because I would never ask that of you." Sam sighed as she turned away from him, "I knew who you were before we got married. I know that the business will always come first, all I am doing is ask that you are not so willing to push our family to the bottom of your list of priorities. To remember us." She added as she walked over to the railing and looked out over the city. Knowing that if see looked at Jason she would breakdown.
"I didn't know it made you feel like that, you never said anything. I though you knew I was just helping a friend out."
"I never said anything because I was too afraid that if I did it would push you away from me and Lila. That you would feel like I was pushing you away."
"There is no reason for you to feel like that." Jason defended as he went to stand next to her.
"Are you kidding me? Every time Elizabeth or Brenda needed you, you were there no matter what plans you already had. You missed a doctor's appointment Jason, the first time to actually see your son and hear his heartbeat." Sam argued as she turned to face him, "But, that's okay because there are going to be plenty more chances for that." Sam added sarcastically, "You are so blinded by your need to help people you never see the effect it has on everyone around you."
"Do you wanna know why Sam?" Jason asked as he raised his voice, "Every time I would see you with Dante or Lucky, I knew it is just a matter of time before you would realize how much better you could do than a mob enforcer. I thought by helping them it would allow you to see someone other than a cold blooded killer. "
"I have never seen you as a killer." Sam defended,"Sometime I think it would be a lot easier to be with Lucky." Sam admitted, "But love isn't meant to be easy, and no matter what happens you will always have my heart." She quickly added as she watched the hurt flash across his face.
" I can't help but get jealous when I see you you with him, it makes me so angry that I end up doing something I regret."
"Now you know how I feel all the time you are helping these woman. The only difference is that I trust you to be faithful." Sam confronted him, "Do you have any idea how it feels to know your husband has so little trust in you?" She asked as the tears started to fall again.
"It's never about not having trust in you, it's my own insecurities." Jason assured her as he wiped her tears away.
"What are you insecure about?" Sam asked confused.
"Losing you Sam, our family." He confessed as he took her hands in his, "That one day you are going to have enough of this life and take the kids and run. That you are going to find another man and he is going to give you everything I can't."
"That's stupid." Sam cried not pulling away this time, "You are the only one who can give me everything."
"The same goes for you Sam, I would be a fool to ever leave you Sam. You are loyal, beautiful, an amazing Mom and always have my back." Jason answered as he pulled her back into his arms.
"I hate that I feel like this, that I am this insecure. I hate that these women have this effect on me. I never doubted our relationship until they came along. I can't live like this Jason, wondering if you are going to come home at night, where you are or if you are suddenly going to have enough and walk away."
"Sam I made a mistake, but it's not worth losing our family."
"What family Jason? When is the last time you spent alone time with our daughter? Or made love to your wife?" Sam asked as she put distance between her and Jason.
"You are the one who choose to leave, taking our daughter with you."
"That was almost two weeks ago, you never even call."
"What did you want me to-do? I though you needed space."
"I needed you to fight for us Jason. For once fight for our family, because I can't keep being the only fighting for this to work out." Sam yelled as the tears started to fall again. "Show me you actually want this to work and are not just with me because it's convenient." Jason didn't say anything and just went to pull her into a hug, Sam pushed him away and looked at his face.
"I am here now."
"Probably because my father threatened you. It's been a week Jason where were you? I mean you moved Brenda in as soon as I moved out. How am I supposed to take that?"
"I don't want to do this here. Let's just go home and talk about this." He pleaded as he tried to grab her hand.
"I can't Jason." Sam said as she pulled back from his grip and ran towards the doors and into the ballroom.
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"Should someone go and check on them? It's a little quite." Maxie asked unsure as she took a seat back at the table, Matt following slowly behind her, tired from being forced to dance for the last hour.
"No, they need to settle this." Alexis answered as she shot a glance to the door.
"Well they better make up by tomorrow." Mac muttered as he took another fork full of cake.
"Why what is happening tomorrow?" Molly asked as she looked up from her plate.
"It is just best to give up, I have been asking the same question for a week." Alexis chimed as she looked at her husband.
"You will all find out in the morning." Mac assured the group as he held up his glass, just as the patio doors swung open, to show a tear-stained Sam. Robin and Maxie were up in a flash and at their sisters side. Robin pulled her into a hug as Maxie grabbed their things, both only focused on getting their sister out of there.
"Let's get out of here." Maxie mumbled as she pulled placed her coat around Sam and Robin guided them to the elevator. Leaving the others wondering what had happened.
"What the hell did you do?" Mac asked as he glared at the taller man as he got out of his seat. Jason didn't say anything and just brushed past the man.
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Sam was quite the whole way home, as soon as the car pulled to a stop at the lake house Sam was out of the car and sprinted to the front door. Leaving Robin and Patrick alone in the car, they had dropped Matt and Maxie off on the way home, it took some persuasion for Maxie to leave, but Sam assured her she was fine and just wanted to get home to Lila. "I am going to stay with Sam tonight." Robin announced as she turned to her new husband.
"I wouldn't expect anything else." Patrick smiled as she grabbed her hand, "Sam is going to be fine, they both are." He assured her as he brought her hand to hit lips.
"I wish I could be so sure." Robin sighed, "When is this family finally going to get a break, it has been one disaster after another for the past few months."
"We made it thought that and we will make it though this."
"Thank You." Robin thanked as she unbuckled her seat belt and leaned over and gave him a kiss.
"For?" He asked between the kisses, "For being an amazing guy and my rock." Robin answered as she gave him one last kiss before jumping out of the car and heading towards the house.
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Once in the house Robin made her way into the living room and was stopped when she saw Lulu coming out of the hall, carrying a sleeping Cameron in her arms. "Sam's in the kitchen." Lulu informed in a whisperer once she reached the other woman, "What happened? She didn't say anything just tucked Lila in before leaving the room."
"Jason showed up tonight and had a long over due talk." Robin answered, "Thank you for everything tonight. Do you need a ride?"
"No, I am fine. Sam needed you now." Lulu said before she said goodbye and headed out the front door.
Robin took a deep breath before she headed into the kitchen, stopping in the doorway when she saw Sam staring at the mug in front of her. "Sam?" Robin called hesitantly as she tried to get her sister's attention. Seeing that not working, Robin walked into the room and placed a hand on Sam's arm, "Sam." She repeated this time getting the woman's reaction.
"Robin." Sam greeted shocked to see Robin next to her, "What are you still doing here?" Sam asked as Robin took a seat across her.
"I sent Patrick home, I thought my sister needed me. That is not coffee is it?" Robin questioned as she nodded towards the mug.
"Not for five more months." Sam laughed, "Hot chocolate."
"So what happened tonight?" Robin asked as she watched Sam play with the mug.
"We had a long over due talk." Sam said simply as she took a sip of the hot chocolate, "I am scared that if I go back nothing is going to change, he is still going to push me to the bottom of his list. I can't put up with it anymore, not for Lila or this baby."
"Have you told him all of this?" Robin asked, "I love you Sam, but you have this annoying habit of telling people what you think they want to hear and not what you want."
"I was honest tonight about everything, I mean we are at this place right now, because I haven't been honest with him in a long time. I have been so afraid that he will get tired of me and leave. But I finally realized that I can't keep sacrifice my feelings just to keep him." Sam confessed as she set the cup down.
"Jason is head over heels for you and has been since seventh grade, he just has issues with prioritizing." Robin commented as she moved to the chair next to Sam.
"What if we don't make it through this?" Sam asked after a minute.
"You are Sam, it's not going to happen over night, it's going to take time. If anyone can do it you two can. Tonight was a big step, you were both honest and that is a start." Robin comforted as she placed an arm around Sam and pulled her close.
"You're right." Sam smiled as she hugged Robin.
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The next morning Sam and Robin were passed out on the couch, having stayed up late talking and fell asleep in the living room, Lila joining them at some point, laid in-between them. The sound of a car's horn woke the two up. "What was that?" Robin asked as she rubbed her eyes.
"I have no idea." Sam retorted as she stood up, she made sure Lila was covered before she walked over towards the window, "But I have a feeling we are not going to like it." She added once she pulled the blinds back and looked outside.
"What is all the racket?" Alexis asked as she came into the living room, tying her robe as she made her way over to her two oldest.
"Your husband is out of his freaking mind." Maxis answered as she barged into the house.
"Why are there two motor homes outside?" Alexis asked again.
"Please tell me this is not what Dad was talking about?" Robin groaned as she leaned against the wall.
"I would ask your new husband considering he is driving the other one." Maxie informed the other three as she took a seat.
"Oh good, most of you are up." Mac smiled as he came into the house with Patrick following behind him, "Maxie can you get Molly and Kristina?" Mac asked as he watched the blonde head down the hall.
"Honey, what are you planning?" Alexis asked in a sweet voice.
"Let's wait till the others get her." Mac said as he took a seat in the recliner.
"This is not going to end well." Robin mumbled to Sam as the both sat next to each other.
"Defiantly, since Mom has no idea what is going on."Sam replied as she glanced down at Lila, who was some how still asleep.
"This past year has been tough on all of us, so I though of a getaway that would be perfect for the family." Mac started as Maxie walked back into the room a half asleep Molly and Kristina trailing behind her, "So I have the whole thing planned." He added as he took a bag out from behind the chair.
"Please don't say cross country." Maxie mumbled with her figures crossed.
"What is going on?" Krissy asked confused.
"Your father is getting there. I would like two know why there are two motor homes outside our house." Alexis stated as she made her way over to Mac and sat on the arm of his chair.
"Well since you are not so good at flying, getting you to Vegas I had to give you something to sleep. So I thought this would be easier. We are going to Disney." Mac informed the group as he pulled a bright yellow shirt from the bag.
"We are all driving to Florida?" Sam asked as she took the shirt her father held out.
"Yes." Mac answered as he passed one to everyone in the room.
"Why is this so big?" Sam asked as she held her shirt up against her.
"Better question, why is it yellow?" Maxie asked as she glared at her's.
"Well, I wasn't really sure what size I should get you." He answered nervously.
"I still fit into my clothes, I have a little bump. This is big enough to be a dress on me." Sam rambled.
"Well we leave in an hour, so pack up." Mac announced as he moved towards the door, "Patrick and I are going to get the food." He added before darting out the door, not waiting for the girls reactions.