Sam's p o v

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It was amazing that as soon as the music stopped so did my energy my eye lids felt heavy and my legs seemed unable to stand any longer. I could barely lift my arms up for L'G to pick me up which made him laugh.

My head landed on his shoulder as soon as my legs wrapped around his waist as he carried me upstairs.

My eyes opened and closed as I fought off sleep he tried to rub my back and soothe me into sleep. The apartment was near empty now I wondered what time it was? It had to be after 3am since the club was closed now, Cassie and Janelle were passed out on the couch half covered in a blanket it might have been a dream cause it was all a bit cloudy but I swear they were naked and kissing. L'G laughed deeply making a gagging sound as he yelled for them to get a room which they yelled in response they did this one.

I closed my eyes my whole body was limp, I noticed Mel was gone as he laid me down on a spare bed he had in the room he shares with Bray he undressed me slipping spare sweat pants and a t-shirt on me.

6 am came too early when he was shaking me awake I manged to get a moan out making him laugh as he rubbed my back to wake me up.

After a shower and quick change Bray made me sit down and eat Breakfast which really didn't take much encouragement.

Three bowels of cereal and a stack of pancakes later I was ready as I would ever be to go back to that place.

Yawning I dialed Kennedy 's number did last night really happen? Was I dreaming? What would today be like? Did she even remember who I was? How often did she do this?

Of course she remembers you baby your unforgettable

I smiled it was amazing how L'G could read my mind. I smiled up at him he looked so different without the hair and makeup and the dress. L'G which is short for Little Gem is 6'2 he weighs about 125 and has the smoothest skin on any male I had ever seen. His skin is a rich dark chocolate which he shaves he has tight abs and a flat stomach but killer biceps at least this is what Bray says all the time. I wouldn't really know seeing as I don't get that close to him normally not like Bray does anyway. L'G's birth name as he calls it is Evan Dibiasi he's from Seattle from what he tells me his dad runs a law firm his mom is a cocktail waitress when he came out as gay last year his parents kicked him out. He told me he knew for about three years but kept it inside till one night he went to a party had a few drinks and kissed a boy his younger brother saw him and told his parents so he finally admitted it and they kicked him out. So he lived on the streets till he met Bray at a youth club for LGBT teens where he found out there was a different school he could attend for kids and they would help him get housing.

With no where else to turn Evan did what over 40% of the nations LGBT youth are forced to do he turned to the streets ,It's on the streets I first met Evan.

I remember that day very well it was a little over a year and a half ago.

Mel and I had just gotten home from kindergarten she was so excited to tell Momma that she had just been told by our teacher Mrs. Keefer that she had earned student of the year and was going to receive a special award the next day so she wanted to wash her favorite dress so she would look super pretty . I was pissed cause I had gotten yelled at for punching Tommy for calling me ugly. Plus I failed some stupid test over my abc's. Mrs. Keefer wasn't a fan of my new rap I had made up.

T-O-M-M-Y

T-is for turd

O-is for odd

M-is for mean

M-cause you Smell

Y-don't you die!

I thought it was amazing that I could come up with it but Mrs. Keefer said I was disrespectful rude and a bad child who needed structure and discipline, she kept asking why I wasn't more like sweet good nature Mel.

So needless to say I wasn't in the mood for Mom praising Mel or Mel's whining over how her dress was dirty and she needed it washed , well mom wasn't going to do it she was passed out from her party the night before, Mel couldn't reach the soap so I took my slingshot and shot it down creating a huge cloud of soapy dust. Mel was trying to go for daughter of the year to cause she took Mom's clothes and washed them as well.

Unfortunately she put the wrong cycle on and added too much soap cause the clothes all shrunk and dyed different colors including Mom's new outfit she wanted to wear that night. She was pissed and started screaming throwing things. Mel was scared hiding behind the washer as mom went on her rampage. Scared for Mel I took the blame she grabbed me by my throat and slammed me against the concrete wall my head hit hard as I saw stars she was screaming that I was worthless and no good that I was stupid and rude and ignorant she was yelling. I had no manners or respect for people's personal space. She was hitting me kicking me spitting at me she chocked me threw me to the ground screaming that I was a screw up and knew nothing. Mel was shaking and crying as mom kept beating me screaming she was going to kill me if she saw me again. She grabbed me and shoved me in the upstairs closet as her friends started to arrive she locked me inside and told Mel not to let me out no matter how much I cried. She told her she would take care of me the next day, I knew what she meant.

I was cold in only shorts and a tank top I had to pee I was hungry and I was in pain. I was scared to I knew I couldn't stay at home, I spent a lot of hours trying to figure out a way out but no matter how hard I banged or pushed there was no way out, finally Mel sneaked out of her room and got me out.

As I held her she was crying and pleading with me not to go but I had to I knew it wasn't safe to stay home any more.

I told her to be strong and I would see her soon then I jumped out of the window skimmed down a tree

Taking off in the rain and cold wind without a jacket, as I walked down Seattle's sidewalks I watched this father and daughter who was about 5 playing in a park she was laughing as he tickled her she was so pretty dressed in a pink dress hair in braided long pigtails she was loved very much I could see it in her face and eyes as she spun in circles and fell back in her daddy's arms trusting he would catch her and he did then he chased her and she laughed they ran inside one of those tall buildings. I watched the buildings as I went past and thought how lucky those kids were to live in such magnificent buildings loved sheltered and protected from the harsh streets .

I wondered how they got so lucky as I sat on the corner catching my breath wondering where I was suppose to go now. The stars gleamed high above mocking me as they danced and shined in their safe world happy and safe the same place they had been for hundreds and thousands of years. My head hurt as I heard a cop chasing me away yelling about us fifthly disgusting street urchins.

My distaste for cops was already there but to act like I wanted to be out on the streets was just too much like any child would choose this awful life?

I was cold scared hungry I was in pain I had to pee, what part sounded fun to them? I walked for hours as the evening changed to night light faded and darkness enclosed me. I had no idea where to go ..that's when I saw him he was scared like me he was standing on a corner with only a jacket and back pack to his name. I could see he had been crying he looked tired and worn out.

He saw me first I wasn't going to talk to him I never trusted anyone out there but he offered me his jacket , he had bruises on his face and arms his shirt was torn and his pants were so dirty they had dried dirt coming off them he smelled bad but I probably didn't smell so great either . He told me his name was Evan and he had been throwing out, we didn't discuss anything about our home lives after that for a while. He took my hand and said he would protect me, we walked the streets and ally's checking for places to make shelters.

We found a clear spot and some used card broad boxes where we built a mini fort we took turns watching as one slept.

Evan became my companion day after day night into night we searched for food and for ways to make money we learned how to hustle and steal quick we learned how to work a crowd I could rap he could drum and dance. We made quite a pair and people looked for us night after night we learned how to be quick on our feet.

As we earned money Evan bought some clothes and I learned what cross dressing meant I was shocked the first time I saw Evan as a girl in a long sliver and red dress with high heals a red wig.

Every day was a gamble if we would make enough money to buy food some days were good a good day we might make 20-30 dollars which split between us would average 12 each. That didn't leave much but it was more then what we started out with. What never seemed to go away was the cold damp feeling the despair of knowing that there was no end to this suffering.

Evan always seemed to have an up beat attitude though always looking at the positive side he always seemed to believe that one day we would find our rainbow. That's what he always said "Hold tight baby

Cause someday our rainbow will shine for us and lead us to the other side"

At some point I have no idea what day or month we met another guy dressed as a girl she called herself Diamond Jasper or D.J everyone seemed to know who she was she called herself the Queen of the Strip and she took to Evan right away she took Evan under her wings and called him Little Gem cause she said Evan was still new but he sparkled like a diamond except there was only room for one true diamond on the strip so she would call Evan a gem which sparkles just as bright as any diamond.

We spent many months working the crowds late at night into early morning diamond who I later found out was named Jacob Anthony taught Evan everything he needed to know on how to be what Diamond called a drag queen. It was kind of fun to watch she showed him how to walk and talk how to dress what to say Evan found his own style along the way.

We had a act down I would charm people with my smile and innocence allure them to the spot we had chosen then Evan would start his dance and song with Diamond working her magic and I would start to sing or rap.

Life on the street was anything but easy though we spent so much time watching our backs so we wouldn't get robbed raped or beaten. I would take the first shift at night so they could sleep well at least that's what they told me they were doing sometimes the sounds I heard didn't seem like sleeping sounds to me, but hey who was I to say anything? They took care of me when my own mother didn't.

Then one of them would stand guard and let me sleep they took turns cuddling me making sure I was warm as I could be sleeping on the pavement or a box. Then the other would change shifts, I was the one who got the most sleep. When I could sometimes it was too cold or too hot sometimes I was too hungry or scared sometimes I felt too sick ..

We manged to get by but it wasn't easy or fun...even though they tried to make it fun playing games with me teaching me my alphabet and numbers helping me to read every sign we saw I had to read and tell them what it meant. They were smart and taught me well. Every night after we were done we scraped a few bucks to eat at Alliance where we met some awesome people.

Diamond got her break when she met this fellow named Cos Grove he owned this club called Uni Bow and he was looking for a new act to preform Monday-Saturdays he hired her on the spot pretty soon she got us in as well. It was strange being in this club it was filled with older men and they were all dancing together smoking there was strange things going on in the back that whenever I needed to use the bathroom Evan would cover my eyes and sing to me extra loud.

Preforming there got us more money then we could hope for but still no home and no place to store the money so we got creative and more protective but more fearful people knew we had money and targeted us.

Our dream of getting a apartment almost came true we had over two thousand saved up, the night was bitter cold in December two weeks shy of Christmas Diamond was working the strip so Evan and I were alone guarding the money when four guys attacked us two grabbed me and started beating me trying to force me down and take my clothes off of me. I was screaming and hitting them as Evan tried to fight the other two he got them off and they ran but one of the two holding me put a gun to my head and forced Evan to hand over the money or he would shoot me I tried to tell him to take it and run but

Even though he was hurt himself he refused to let me get hurt. They took the money beat us and ran.

I felt so guilty he lost his money to save me but he held me and told me not to be sad that someday we

would find our place and our rainbow would shine. His belief saved us less then a month later Cos and his partner moved to Canada to marry legally. He left the club to diamond who turned it into a urban teen scene for LGTB youth he cleaned it up and made it safe. It became insanely popular with the new money he hired L'G as a bartender and a performer. He bought the upstairs and fixed it into a apartment for us.

Sierra became a regular at the club and she always had stories to tell she got Evan into going to these meetings for LGTB teens at the center called Laugh.

The meetings were run by a lady named Rocky Ce-Ce …

Bray's story is similar to Evan's he was born in a small town called Calgary, Alberta which he called Redneck Center he was from a strict catholic family which believed homosexuality was a sin and you would burn in hell. His dad was even part of a group that got a coworker so humiliated for his lifestyle that he left in shame and moved away he got the whole town against him spreading lies about what he did to young boys and how he had Aids. When Bray figured out he was gay and what it meant he kept it hidden for four years afraid of his dad and the town he lived in. when he couldn't take it anymore he told his best friend who urged him to come out he accepted him, supported him. His own family not so much his parents kicked him out so he lived in his friends basement but when word got out at school he was bullied threatened and kicked out when a teacher lied and said he had forced another boy to have sex with him.

Bray ran even though he was innocent he knew no one would believe him he hitch hiked across the boarder and started making his way through state after state by selling himself at truck stops he dressed as a girl and did anything he had to just to get as far away from his hometown as possible.

He got as far as Washington D.C before his luck ran out he was picked up by a truck driver who when he discovered he was a boy beat him and raped him leaving him in a river to die. He crawled out and collapsed where he was found by a jogger. He was taken to a hospital but he was treated badly by the staff so he left against medial advice . While working the streets of D.C he met this boy named Justin he was 15 like Bray they hit it off.

They heard how things were calmer here at Capital so they stole a car and got here.. the night they got here they came to Alliance where they met Sierra who told them about Laugh and the meetings they attended that's where L'G met them and Rocky got them into a shelter.

They were accepted into Sierra's old school Diversity and started learning life skills and how to make it out in the working world. They got jobs and started to get their lives together..their rainbow was starting to shine bright..then Justin got sick real sick he was told he had something called Aids...

They had little money and no insurance so they couldn't afford medication ...the disease was already in advanced stages and without treatment it took a hold of him.. I watched as he got weaker and sicker until one day Justin found his Rainbow..and went over it..

Bray was devastated and depressed he tried to kill himself but everyone stepped in and got him help

Evan was really instrumental in helping him talking to him.

So were these two girls Janelle and Cassie they struck up a friendship which for Bray and L'G became more ...Even after Bray was diagnosed with H.I.V it didn't stop them.

Eventually Evan called things off with diamond who was surprisingly supportive of Evan and he started dating Bray...a few months ago Bray moved in with Evan..they convinced me to go home and try to work things out with my mom...they say that if they could go back home they would but they can't so they had to make a new home.

I'm still not sure what H.I.V or Aids is I just know it's what took Justin away and I miss him.. I know I see sadness in Bray's eyes when he talks about it or thinks of Justin.