Chapter 2:

The Planets Bend Between Us!

One year later:

Merlin slammed the door behind him; he had a bloody God awful day. New people were just stupid, how did they get a job in a coffee shop when they couldn't even wash a cup? And bloody customers, the bane of his life –you'd think they would be nice to him cause you know, he could spit in their drinks, bloody bastards!

Gwen held out a glass of wine, he took it gladly and then looked around the room.

"What's going on?" he asked dropping his bag. Everyone was in their sitting room, all seats taken – bloody inconsiderate. Leon patted his lap and Merlin climbed across the legs of his friends and plonked down onto Leon.

"We're holding an intervention," Gwaine smiled.

"Yes," Morgana smiled wickedly, "you have to stop having sex with Edwin."

"What?" Merlin squawked, Leon was giggling – the git.

"He's a creep," Percy pointed out matter of factly, shaking his head like Merlin was dim.

"Fuck off, you bamboofaces!"

Leon howled laughing.

"Nah, really we've got news," Morgana's eyes sparkled.

"Oh my God!" Merlin squealed, jumping up. "You're getting married!"

Gwaine roared laughing, Morgana scowled and Leon shook his head disbelievingly.

"You pillock," he moaned.

"Ah jaysus it's about time you got around to it, Leon baby," Merlin cooed, settling back on his lap, "you're living in sin, ya know? Or are you still waiting to see if something better comes along?" Morgana walloped him. "Oi! I was about to say you couldn't possibly get better but if she abuses you like this," rubbing his arm with a pout, "I'll go on the hunt with you," he scratched Leon's ear making him purr.

"Merlin," Gwen scowled, her grin belying her tone.

"Ok ok, what?" He patted Morgana's knee.

"Arthur's coming home!"

"Oh..." He smiled, looking at Lance and Gwen but they were both smiling.

"It's fine," Lance said "spoke to him yesterday, he's not going to punch me."

"Well in all fairness," Gwaine butted in, "if he didn't attack when he walked in on you balls deep in his woman..."

"GWAINE!" Gwen roared, Leon spluttered and Morgana went stiff. Merlin fell off Leon's lap laughing.

"It's true," Gwaine panted avoiding Lance's fist. "Though I did tell him we dealt out our own after we realised what happened."

"Anyway," Morgana cut in, "He's coming home."

"Yes," Leon said pulling Merlin back up, "so prepare yourself."

"Ok," Merlin finished his wine smiling at his friends.

"But seriously man," Percy said leaning forward, "get rid of Edwin. He's a tool."

"He is," Gwaine joined in, "and we've decided that he's no longer allowed over here. The sex noises he makes are just damn odd."

Merlin whacked him across the cheek but he couldn't argue with that. Edwin was creepy but at least he was regular sex.

"How do you know it's not me making those noises?" He snarled at Gwaine.

"Dude, I've shagged you," Gwaine leered, Morgana giggled, "I know the noises you make." He looked smug. A few drunken tumbles that never amounted to anything.

Merlin loved Gwaine but knew he wasn't the marrying kind and would point blank refuse to settle down even if someone put a gun to his face. They all knew and couldn't wait for the day Gwaine would meet some lovely lass or bloke who would come along and cut all his bullshit. Sadly that wasn't Merlin but that was fine – they were better as friends.

"Fine," Merlin grumbled, "but we're going out the weekend on the pull then," he looked at the boys pointedly.

"But Arthur..." Morgana started.

"You're making me dump my easy shag," Merlin glared.

"Of course we will," Percy smiled.

oooOooo

Gwaine and Lance looked up from their position on the sofa, sprawled across it late in the afternoon, watching footie and drinking beer. Percy walked in and tossed his keys on the coffee table, glancing back at the still open door as Merlin, panting, crawled in.

Lance raised an eyebrow, as Merlin's arms gave out and he collapsed down with a huff.

"Jaysus," Gwaine laughed, "what did you do to him?"

Percy sat on the arm chair and looked, bemusedly at the heap on the floor.

"We went for a run."

Lance got up and closed the door, stopping beside Merlin and giving him a light kick on the thigh.

"Merlin," he said gently, trying not to laugh.

"S'not here, he died," the heap whined.

"Come on," Lance laughed, putting his arms under Merlin and heaving him up. He dragged him to the sofa where Gwaine scooted down to make room.

Merlin's normally uncooperative hair, stood up in a wild manner and his pale face was flushed and covered in sweat.

"You stink!" Gwaine exclaimed, wrinkling his nose in amusement.

"Hmph," Merlin groaned, but managed a weak smile as Lance handed him a pint of water.

Percy was looking at him rather concerned.

"Do you think he's alright?"

"Alright?" Merlin gasped, "you tortured me, you made me run around the city all day!"

"You've only been gone about an hour."

"Grossly unhelpful, Gwaine." Merlin scowled.

"Don't worry, Percy," Gwaine smiled, completely ignoring the smelly, panting mess beside him, "he's just a delicate little flower."

"Oi!" Merlin tried to hit him, but gave up, arm flopping back down to the sofa, "I am not delicate. He did torture me! I do not like pigeons and he," He pointed accusingly at Percy. "Threw me right into a pack of them so they could attack me with their beaks and wings and germs!"

"A pack of pigeons?" Lance laughed.

"I love how your brain interrupts the world, Merlin," Percy smiled, "you trip over your own feet and startle a few pigeons in the park, and suddenly it becomes me sending you into the path of dangerous pigeons."

"Death by pigeons," Gwaine smiled, nodding. "I like the sound of that."

"You're all useless," Merlin moaned, waving his hand, "leave me to die in peace, expect you Lance, you can stay."

Lance beamed. Percy laughed, getting up and walking towards the hall. He looked back over his shoulder.

"Same time again tomorrow, Merlin?"

Gwaine and Lance laughed at the look of horror on Merlin's little face.

oooOooo

The alarm buzzed startling Merlin from sleep; he flung an angry arm at it burying his head back in his pillow, his lovely warm, cosy pillow. But the blasted thing persisted; he growled and hit it, flinging his feet out of the warmth. Grabbing the cleanest clothes he could find on the floor he went in search of much needed caffeine. However his hunt skidded to an abrupt halt at the kitchen door.

His jaw dropped and for a moment he was convinced he was still in bed asleep.

Standing at the kitchen sink, in only a pair of boxers was the most beautiful creature he had ever seen. An Adonis crafted into his dreams from his subconscious. A blond god, with golden perfect skin, wide shoulders tapering down to narrow waist, a lick worthy arse and award winning muscular thighs. The early morning sun caught his blond tussled bed hair making strands appear the colour of sunshine, he had his head tilted back draining a pint of water. Merlin was transfixed watching his Adams apple bobbing as he swallowed.

Merlin gasped, instantly feeling his jeans tighten thinking of what he'd do to this flight of his imagination. He turned and Merlin was looking into the bluest, most piercing eyes he had ever seen and then a double decker bus crashed into his world.

"Who the fuck are you?" the illusion asked sharply.

"Excuse me?" Merlin spat back, his hackles raised. The blond quirked an eyebrow and tilted his head to the side a little, looking Merlin up and down.

"Bit of a tough question this early in the morning or are you just a bit slow witted?" he asked in a condescending tone. "Really I thought it was a straight forward question. Who. Are. You?" He walked over to the opposite counter and leaned back, offering Merlin a full body view (which he took even with his brain screaming at him not to – this was clearly a giant prat).

"What do you mean who am I? Who the fuck are you and what in the name of jaysus are you doing in my kitchen?" Merlin snarled walking over to get a redbull out of the fridge.

"Your kitchen?" IT laughed; the sound was not lovely, "well if that's the case run out and get some milk there's none for tea."

Merlin spluttered, the idiot smirked at him but Merlin was halted from replying by a groan from the door. He spun to see Gwaine walk in.

"What are you doing out of bed?" he asked groggily, walking over to the prat and putting his head on his shoulder. Apparently it was "walk around in your boxers day" and yet no one had informed Merlin – outrageous. There were bright hand shaped bruises on Gwaine' s hips and a large love bite on his shoulder.

"Meeting the staff," the blond laughing, running his hands down Gwaine's back and squeezing his bum. Gwaine laughed lazily.

"Play nice princess," he scowled. Merlin snorted in disgust and picked up his keys from the table. The blonds eyes not leaving him for a second.

"See you later Gwaine," and he left to sounds of laughter in the kitchen.

"What a gobshite," Merlin thought angrily, clearly some random pickup of Gwaine's from the club last night. Merlin slammed the door behind him hearing a moan coming from the kitchen. "Bloody hell," he thought, he might be gorgeous but he was a supercilious prat of earth shattering proportions and most definitely not a god of any kind.

oooOooo

The day went from bad to worse, he missed the bus and another didn't arrive for half an hour making Merlin forty minutes late to work. He boss, a pillock named Adrian shouted for ten minutes; telling Merlin he was lucky he didn't fire him on the spot. He waited till lunch time to do that. In fairness Merlin knew he deserved it, he broke eight cups (well up on his weekly quota), got orders wrong all day and had three fights with customers. He threw his apron on the ground and hissed at Adrian before leaving, leaving gasping customers in his wake.

Once he had cooled down he called Gwen.

"I got sacked," he moaned down the phone.

"Oh pet! come meet me for tea." A bus pulled up just then – why do they always arrive when you're not rushing somewhere? He met Gwen in the city close to Camelot Industries, where she works in the public relations department. He walked into the cafe to see her seated at a table with a giant pot of tea and two large slices of chocolate cake. He slid into the seat and groaned. She petted his hand.

"What happened?"

"I suck," he whined, "and now I have no job and Gwaine will sell me to pay the rent when I can't anymore," he dramatically put his head on the table. She stroked his hair.

"Well I honestly don't think Gwaine would do that, not until things get really drastic that is," he glared at her and she smiled sweetly. Damn Gwen, you could never stay mad at her.

"What am I going to do? There are no jobs and I will not work in another coffee shop."

"You'll find something, don't worry," he stabbed at his cake and took a big gulp of tea. "Actually..." she paused.

"What?"

"Well Morgana was just telling me about an hour ago that Arthur's been promoted."

"Lucky him," Merlin said snidely.

"Merlin," Gwen scowled.

"Sorry."

"Well he's CEO now and he's going to be hiring an assistant."

"An assistant?" Merlin asked dubiously.

"Yes, you'd be buying the coffee instead of making it," she grinned.

"Hmph."

"You could ask him about it tonight at the pub," she took one look at his face and quickly rushed on, "or I could pop up to his office when I go back and tell him you'd be interested?"

"Gwen I dunno, I don't know the guy – you can't expect him to give me a job just because I know his friends."

"Arthur's a great guy, I'll put in a word and then you can meet him tonight and see, okay?"

"Okay," he agreed half heartedly.

oooOooo

Merlin was in the pub early, thankfully Percy arrived not long after followed closely by Gwen and Lance. He was well into his third pint and finally feeling relaxed when Morgana and Leon arrived.

"So you're going to apply to be Arthur's PA?" Morgana asked.

"We'll see," he rolled his eyes.

"It'll be good," Leon laughed, "Arthur needs a care taker, just keep him in coffee and warn him when Uther's approaching."

The usual bickering continued as the pub started to fill up, Merlin went to the bar to get in another round and as he was turning around with the tray of drinks he froze.

The blond prat from that morning was standing at the table with his hand on Leon's shoulder laughing. Merlin watched in horror as he leant over and kissed Morgana on the cheek and then Gwen. Percy stood up to hug him, lifting him off the ground, and Lance shook his hand a bit stiffly.

"Oh no," Merlin thought.

Gwaine turned and saw Merlin before he could run; he waved and beckoned him over. The prat turned to watch him approach with the tray of drinks.

"Ah I was right about you, you are the servant," he smirked as he picked up Merlin's pint off the tray and took a sip, never breaking eye connect.

"Arthur, be nice," Morgana snapped.

"I'm not a bloody servant, you prat!" Merlin spat.

"What did you call me?"

"Oh sorry thought I said it loud enough," Merlin tilted his head in an echo of Arthur that morning, "or are you just a bit dim?"

The table had fallen silent listening to their exchange and now every jaw dropped. Arthur laughed though, which Merlin did not find, at all, attractive.

"You can't speak to me like that Merlin," he admonished. Gwaine took the tray of drinks and passed them out, no one taking their eyes off the pair.

"I can speak to you any way I like, you arrogant fuckwit," Lance chocked on his drink and Leon and Percy spluttered. "I don't appreciate being linked to a servant."

Arthur raised a perfect eyebrow in a not so adorable thinking face, after a moment he leaned in, taking a hold on Merlin's shoulder and damn if the man didn't smell amazing too. He was far too close for coherent thought.

"But Merlin, as you came so highly recommended I've already decided to take you on as my new personal assistant," he took a step back, thank god for small mercies. Gwen gave him the thumbs up, Arthur smirked, "and that's just a fancy modern way of saying you're my new servant. Now go get me some crisps."

Merlin' s jaw dropped, Arthur held out a tenner, "and get Gwaine and yourself a pint." He looked pointedly at him when Merlin didn't move.

"Arthur!" Morgana, Leon and Gwen shouted. He didn't break eye contact with Merlin, just quirked that damn eyebrow.

He snatched the ten pounds out of Arthur's hand with a snide, "Certainly, Sire."

Percy burst out laughing, "Oh God, this is going to be entertaining!"