I'm in a humorous mood, lately!
Of all the ways Puck thought his relationship might be discovered by people who weren't yet supposed to know, he never thought super glue would be involved.
"Oh my god!" Mercedes cried as he and Kurt were sitting in the emergency room, waiting to be unglued somehow. Mercedes' appearance was so unexpected that Puck's heart leapt up into his throat in fear and he almost jumped away from Kurt - until he remembered why they were here in the first place.
Looking over, Puck noticed Kurt's expression very clearly stating, "I am going to kill you for supergluing your hand to my ass, especially now that someone we know has seen us."
Puck sent back a shrug in turn, which said, "Sorry, babe, but you should know better than to tempt me while I'm fixing the vase my Ma loves. Besides, it's your fault we broke it while making out."
Still silent, Kurt pursed his lips as if to say, "Oh, don't even, Noah Puckerman," before turning to greet Mercedes, words escaping between clenched teeth. "Fancy meeting you here! Everything alright?"
Mercedes nodded while framing her neck around and lifting one eyebrow at Puck's hand underneath Kurt's coat and pants. Turning back to Kurt, she explained, "Just here to see my grandma in the long-term care wing. ER's the fastest way back to the parking lot. How about you, baby boy? What's with this?" She pointed back and forth between the two of them and Puck gave Mercedes an little wave with his free hand and a smile that probably turned out more like a grimace.
"Just a silly accident," Kurt insisted, right as the nurse called his name. Puck and his boyfriend shared a look, both knowing that as soon as they got up, it would be painfully obvious where Puck's hand was glued.
"Kurt? Kurt Hummel?" the nurse asked again and there was no way Puck was waiting for another two hours before getting this taken care of.
Sure, he liked having his hand on Kurt's ass, but his Ma didn't even know he was seeing a guy, and he was already late for dinner, which always meant the third degree. So, Puck grabbed under Kurt's arm with his free hand and hauled them both up out of their chairs. "Here," he called out to the nurse before turning to Mercedes and winking. "See ya later. Kurt and I have some business to take care of." Puck wiggled his eyebrows suggestively before dragging Kurt back toward the nurse, ignoring the annoyed way Kurt kept smacking his shoulder.
"You know what this means, Noah," Kurt hissed in Puck's ear as they walked (or sort of shambled due to the odd way they were stuck together). "In twenty minutes, everyone we know will hear about you having your hand stuck to my butt!"
Puck shrugged and said those words he knew Kurt had been waiting to hear since they'd first got together, "Eh, let 'em find out."