I'm sorry if I take so long to update these, I got a 4 day weekend and managed to get every story updated so I was quite proud but now I'm probably going to go back to taking an age and I do apologies.

I've been on work experience all week so I've had to write this in my lunch break :)

AN: She definitely doesn't die in this chapter but I'm still deciding how I will end it, I know you don't want me to kill her off but I'm still unsure (blame Reidsfacts.)

She hadn't slept that night, how could she? When all she could think about was how it felt to have his arms around her again, to have his lips against her skin, to feel his love despite being told it, in all the years they'd been married they'd never once slept apart, tonight she had to face the loneliness. She hadn't felt like doing anything, even eating, her body didn't want it, she could barely stomach her painkillers, all she wanted was her husband – her strongest painkiller.

She looked up at the moon through the blinds, the way it illuminated the white walls, everything was white, as cleaned as it looked, it was empty and depressing. She felt cool tears trickle down her cheek and onto the pillow. She felt empty and depressed, and cold, so very cold. She would shiver, even with blankets on; she wasn't sure whether she was shaking with nerves or coldness. She'd promised Charles she wouldn't think the worst but when he wasn't there she couldn't be so optimistic. They'd explained everything fully to her, but Dr Clarkson and her nurses often looked as if they knew something and weren't telling her – nothing looked optimistic.

She constantly felt stomach pain, sometimes it was so excruciating they had to simply put her to sleep. Her general painkillers didn't work and it could often lead to her screaming for hours. She could only see Charles for about an hour each day, the nurses knew she didn't want him around if she was in pain or screaming so they found a pattern and made sure he came at the same time each day.

Nurse Crawley had become her main nurse and always made sure she was comfortable, they'd become very close, sometimes she would just sit by her bed and talk to her, currently that was the second best painkiller.

She woke up; surprising herself that she'd even got to sleep eventually. The sunlight streaming through the window. She tried to sit up but clutched her stomach and lay back down.

"Mrs Carson? What's wrong?" Nurse Crawley rushed over, placing her hand on Elsie's shoulder and holding her hand. She looked up; Elsie's heart rate and blood pressure were perilously high.

"Mrs Carson?" she said again but Elsie wasn't replying, she had her eyes tightly shut and was moaning loudly.

"Mrs Carson can you hear me?" Nurse Crawley ran out and called for the doctor, he sprinted in along with four other Nurses. As soon as he saw her, all the colour drained from his face.

"Doctor?" Nurse Crawley saw his panic stricken look and her mind filled with fear.

"We need to get her into surgery – now! Nurse Stevens, Nurse Smith, can you get her ready quickly please."

He took Nurse Crawley by the arm and led her aside.

"Contact Mr Carson, tell him to come. She'll be in a while but we don't know if she'll even come out."

"But she's been getting better, she was nearly standing."

"Internal damage is horrific, you don't always know it's there and it can make you look like you're recovering and then strike again."

Nurse Crawley sighed, in her mind, the worst kind of illness was one that looked fine but struck when you least expected it, she nodded, unable to think of what to say. Dr Clarkson opened the door for the trolley to be wheeled out. He saw her devastated face.

"When he gets here, talk to him. You can relate to this more than the rest of us." With that, he walked out. Nurse Stevens was still clearing things up in the room.

"Sybil?"

She jumped as she heard her name, "You were miles away" she smiled sympathetically, "here, you'll need to give this to Mr Carson when he arrives, don't want to lose it" she handed her Elsie's wedding ring and left.

Sybil was left alone holding the ring in her open palm, she looked closely at it, to anyone it would seem like an ordinary gold band but she looked closer on the inside rim was an engravement;

'My darling Elsie, our hearts entwined forever and always'

she felt tears brimming so she closed her hand and hurried out.

Charles had arrived minutes after the phone call from Nurse Crawley. He was shaking and out of breath by the time he reached the main desk, he made his way down endless corridors until he reached her ward, where he was met by a small, pale, dark haired nurse with red puffed up eyes.

"She's still in surgery Mr Carson, she won't be out for hours, that's if… um, would you like something to drink?" she quickly realised what she was saying and decided she needed to attempt to distract him.

"No thank you Nurse Crawley, I'll just wait" he sat down on a sofa in the waiting area and rubbed his forehead.

She checked her watch, Mrs Carson'd been in surgery for twenty minutes, as her specific patient, Sybil no longer had anything to do but wait too, she sat next to Charles. Placing her hand over the one that lay on his knee,

"You're terrified, I can see it in your eyes, you won't admit it to anyone, not even fully to her, she knows you love her but doesn't know just how much you're scared of losing her" she looked directly at him, knowing she could get the truth out of him eventually.

"Can you blame me?" He looked away but didn't move his hand.

"For loving her? Of course not! And you don't want it to be worse for her by telling her just how scared you are – it would only scare her more"

"I don't … want to hurt her"

"You won't, you can't hurt her by loving her" she tilted her head to the side to try and catch his eyes.

"But..." he sighed "I can't live without her, she's everything to me, I'd have no one else, I couldn't stand walking though that big house not hearing her humming as she makes tea or singing as she vacuum's, all those little things…" he broke off, his hand suddenly holding hers tightly and she realised he was trying not to cry.

She fished in her pocket and pulled out the ring, placing it into his hand and closing it around it.

"Tell me something Mr Carson. Tell me your favourite memory of her"

He looked at the ring then finally looked at her, his eyes blurred as he blinked back to tears, sniffed and looked at the ceiling.

"Her twenty-first birthday party, the night I gave her his" he held up he ring and it glinted in the light. "Myself and a few of our friends threw together a huge surprise party, black tie and evening gowns, lovely meal, posh venue - the lot. I left it to her best friend to buy her the dress, she had no idea what was happening. She came in and it was the typical surprise party response, she was so happy, her best friend took her off and a little while later she was back. I didn't even recognise her, her hair was up with a few strands hanging down by her ears, her floor length navy dress hugging her figure, her makeup was perfect and she was wearing jewellery that I'd bought her on birthdays, anniversaries and valentine days, it was such a personal gesture and just between us. They whole evening was perfect, but it was one moment that I will remember forever. She was walking along the dance floor, holding up her dress slightly in her hands, I called her name and it was the way she turned round, the way she smiled when she saw I called her. So happy. I got to hold her in my arms as we danced, the romantic music, her beauty, I couldn't wait, I had to give her her present early so … I proposed. She nearly fainted and she cried a lot, but she was so happy. We were married nearly a year later but that moment always stuck in my mind, watching her as she turned around. My girl, my fiancée, my wife, my Elsie."

He smiled at the memory and sniffed back some more tears. Sybil squeezed his hand,

"I can see it .. in my mind, it's such a clear picture. I can see how beautiful she was"

"She still is, time can be merciless for some women but not her, she's always managed to stay beautiful and now… now my beautiful girl's being taken away from me." And the tears fell, proper tears of love and devotion, she put her arm around him and a few minutes later, spoke softly.

"Mr Carson if this does … end badly … I want you to know that it does get easier … you will miss her endlessly … but … it will … get easier … gradually."

This time it was her that looked away, she pulled her arm and hand back and pushed some hair behind her ear. He looked at her and it was his turn to try and get an explanation.

"You… mentioned that you knew more about this than I knew? What happened?"

She took a deep breath and looked up but straight ahead.

"M..my fiancée was killed in a car crash… but it was on purpose… he waited… waited for Tom to get near … then he drove straight into him" she sniffed but continued to look ahead.

"Oh… was that the Carlisle case?"

"Yes" she whispered, "it was complicated … but every day I see couples reunited and torn apart … it's so hard" she sniffed again and her hands began to shake "I just miss him so much" and she broke down, two years she'd held herself together but now she couldn't, she wants her Tom back, she wanted him to be alive and Carlisle to be dead, it wasn't fair and she couldn't bear to see someone else have their loved one taken away from them.

He moved across towards her and put a comforting arm around her shoulder, letting her cry into his. He'd always had great friendships with women and they regularly came to him for comfort, he was just the kind of guy you could tell your problems and he'd listen; he may not have known Sybil very well but they shared something and he wanted her to feel comforted as she comforted him.

They sat together for a while, simply feeling comforted, nothing more, just comfort and understanding passing between them. Four hours passed, they made no effort to move, until the door opened and Dr Clarkson walked towards them. His expression unreadable.

I nearly cried, trying to write this. Hope you enjoyed it,

So is she or isn't she? I'm sorry to keep leaving you on cliff-hangers with my stories – I have done this because I don't know how to end it, but just so's you know there is a lot of me that really wants her to live.

Btw, I cant write the next chapter till I know whether you think she should die or not, so if you dont you better get your vote in quick before I listen to the devil on my shoulder too much ;)

Please please review, I need to know what you think :) Love you all for reviewing it so far.