Chapter 16 - Facing Reality

Takashi let Izumi get into the car first and turned to the driver. "Master Ootori has explained everything. I know where to take you. Just rest during the drive, Sir."

"Thank you." Takashi climbed into the car and and the driver shut the door. He looked at Izumi, completely worn and huddled against the door. He still felt off. He didn't know what to do. Hold her... don't hold her. Be mad? Give her space?

"Izumi?"

"Mm?" she said softly, turning her head.

"What was it that Reiko said to you when we first arrived?"

"Oh, that Haruhi was having a hard time and that I would understand."

"Did you?"

She hesitated, "Yes."

"Don't worry, I won't ask what Haruhi said."

No, that's not it... I didn't pause beca-

"Was it really necessary to slap Tamaki?"

Did he laugh?

"I've never seen him like that."

"Mn?"

"Nearly hysterical..."

"Ah."

Takashi, I love you.

Did I say that out loud? Did he hear me?...

ugh... car ride... sleepy...

Takashi watched as Izumi drifted off. Should I hold her or let her keep leaning against the door?

Hours passed and they finally arrived at the onsen. The driver pulled up to the side entrance (as instructed by Kyoya) as it was the fastest way to their suite. The driver opened Takashi's door first.

"It's okay, I'll get her door. She's sleeping against it. She'll fall out if you open it." The driver opened the door slowly as Takashi positioned himself to catch her. He lifted her as she slid into his arms, the onsen staff opened the doors for them and carrying their duffel.

Down the hall, Takashi saw there was a staff member kneeling by their door. "Master Morinozuka," he whispered. "Velvet curtains have been hung to block out the light."

"Thank you," Takashi said, removing his shoes before entering.

"Uh, Master..."

"Hrm?" he asked, laying Izumi down on the futons, drawing the bamboo blinds.

"It's in the main vault. We found it while prepping the room for your return."

"Thank you," he said solemnly, eyeing Izumi through the screen. "That will be all."

Hours later

Izumi woke, a bit perplexed. She remembered being in the car, but now she was in the room and it was pretty dark. Takashi was not in bed with her, nor could she tell if he ever was. Is he mad at me? Of course he's mad... She peered around the blinds surrounding the bed, looking for the cord to pull them up. He's not in the room... Ugh why is it so dark? Izumi walked toward where the windows should be. Ah, velvet curtains... She peered through and saw Takashi toweling himself dry, she noticed his hand was on his phone. He must have been practicing. I should just take a bath to give him more time to himself.

-.-.-
About an hour after returning to the onsen.

Buzzzzzzzzzzz

Takashi rolled over and reached for his phone. Mitskuni?

^_^ You awake? I am!

tap tap tap …. Yes.

buzz buzz buzz…. Wanna talk?

Takashi sighed, got up off the floor and tiptoed to the garden.

"Hey Mitskuni. Couldn't sleep?"

"Nah. I slept, but I don't need much sleep, just can't miss my afternoon nap."

"You had cake in the car ride home, didn't you?"

Mitskuni pouted, "Did not!"

"Did you brush your teeth?" Takashi could hear Mitskuni sticking his tongue out at him.

"Ne, Takashi, um, is everything okay?"

"Mn?"

"I know something is off. The question is whether or not you want to talk about it."

[silence]

"I proposed last night."

[silence]

"She..." Takashi's eyes started watering. "She said 'no.'"

"What?"

"Actually, she said 'Oh shit' and 'I can't.'"

[silence]

Mitskuni knew that Takashi was crying although he wasn't making noise. "Was it last night?" Takashi could only make some small noise Mitskuni took as confirmation. "Well, last night was pretty eventful. Maybe you two just need some time to talk about it."

Mitskuni waited for Takashi to process each sentence, give him a chance to compose himself. Izumi was the only thing that Takashi got worked up about. Sure work and school were important... the host club was a close second to his own family. However, Izumi was the love of Takashi's life. They've known each other for 4 years, together for nearly 3. Yeah, 21 seems young; however, Takashi is not the type of person to date without seriousness. Granted, Mitskuni expected Tamaki to date more than Haruhi. The Twins, sure they'd be in relationships... but Takashi was such and old soul. Izumi was more to him than a relationship. There had to be more than just an outright "No" to cause such a response.

By the time they got off the phone, Takashi promised not to get upset over Izumi's response until they had a chance to talk. Mitskuni, in turn, promised not to mention it to anyone, even Reiko.

Takashi looked back at the room shrouded in black velvet curtains. Obviously he wouldn't be able to see anything. With a sigh, he got up and started his morning workout, thankful for the layout of the garden, hiding him and his tears from the view of others.

He wasn't sure how long he practiced for, but eventually he could sense Izumi moving. He could even feel her close by, but she didn't come out. He sighed heavily and continued to towel himself off.

I really wanted to bathe. I wonder if I should go in. Maybe I should just stay here and give her time.

Present Timeline

Izumi stepped out of the bathing room and found Takashi standing in front of her. She smiled sadly at him and quickly avoided eye contact. "I'll let you bathe," she said she side stepped him. Neither turned to watch the other walk away.

Izumi went into the sitting room and saw that Takashi had breakfast delivered. Today was French: croissants, jam, black coffee, and fresh fruit. Izumi waited for Takashi to join her. The moments were elongated and awkward but eventually he came. He sat across the table from her as opposed to beside her, as he usually did.

I wonder who is going to be the first one to bring it up? He cut a croissant in half. Maybe I should let her do it, let her approach me so it doesn't seem like I'm pressuring her.

Izumi took a deep breath but it became shaky and she started crying. "I'm sorry! I'm so sorry Takashi."

He froze, staring at his hands.

"I just...It's...I panicked..." He could tell by her crying that snot must have been running out of her nose. He couldn't will himself to move, not even to hand her a tissue. Now that they were talking, he didn't know what to think.

Izumi proceeded to try to explain herself, but it just came out in garbled words. She was trying to find a way to explain it to him. Thoughts ran through her head and only … one of ever 20 got out. Her mind raced and her heart beat escalated...Haruhi would understand. I probably should have called her first for advice... but she just had a baby, I can't bother her. But how can I explain it to him without sounding crazy. Oh Lucas... why didn't I think to call him? Oh who am I kidding, he'd think I'd be crazy for even hesitating.

WHY AM I PANICKING? I can't do this? This isn't going to work... oh God... why did I screw this up? I'm throwing it all away. Takashi's going to hate me. He can't look at me. He hasn't touched me. Everything's not going to be okay...Air... She started pulling at her yukata. Air!

"IZUMI!"

Takashi jumped over the table and laid Izumi on the floor, ripping open the yukata. He quickly ran over to the panel on the wall and hit the emergency button, thankful that Ootori's always thought of things like this.

He ran back to Izumi and saw her eyes roll into the back of her head. He angled her head upward knowing it would give her better ability to breath. He heard footsteps and medical trained specialists ran in.

"She's hyperventilating," he called out as he stepped aside.

"Cause?"

"Stress, panic..."

One checked her vitals as the other worked with her breathing. Izumi, what is so terrible, what is so wrong that you can't even tell me?

The medics left and took it upon themselves to have tea sent to the room. Izumi just stared at the cup in her hands.

Takashi, this time, was sitting beside her, rubbing her back in slow circles. Her back is so small. If I spread my fingers, it's the same width of her back. She's so small, I forget how tiny she is. What is it that's so bad you can't tell me?

"Takashi," she put the cup on the table and pressed the heels of her hands into her eyes. "God, why can't I do anything without needing to be saved by you!" She started to rock herself. Worried that she would go into a panic again, Takashi held her close to him.

"It's okay. I love you no matter what. We don't have to get married-"

"No!" she grabbed the sleeves of his yukata and buried her face into his chest. "That's not it! That's not it at all!"

Her voice is climbing. "Shhh," he stroked her hair. "We don't have to talk about this now. Okay?" He pulled her into his lap, "It's okay. Don't rush things. Take your time. Shhhh."

"I'm so helpless. I'm so helpless. This isn't how it was supposed to be."

Takashi's heart broke. The proposal can't be it. There has to be something deeper. Maybe she should call Lucas."Izumi," Takashi cupped her face in his hands and kissed her softly. "I. Love. You." She winced, feeling terrible and guilty. "No, don't do that." He kissed her nose gently. "I love you," he said more firmly. "Let's just enjoy what time we have left here. Don't think about last night. It will sort itself out with time."

Neither of them could remember how long they stayed that way, but Takashi's ever steady heart beat calmed her down. It made life seem normal.

Izumi knew she would have to call Lucas, maybe even beg him to come visit or her to visit him.