Chapter 17 - Explanations

They enjoyed the rest of the trip as much as they could. They went through New Years celebrations with only Mitskuni knowing something was wrong. They did really good at hiding it from everyone else. Satoshi spent the whole entire time called Izumi "onee-chan." Satoshi even got Yasuchica calling her "Izuneechan." It was his New Years resolution.

The following morning they returned to home, Izumi called Lucas.

"Iz?"

"Yeah."

"What's up?" Did he propose?

"You sitting?"

HE PROPOSED! "Yes! Yes I am! What's up!"

"Takashiproposedandisaidno."

[silence]

"What?" Did I hear that right?

"Takashiproposedandisaidno."

"SLOWER." NO SHE DID NOT!

"Takashi proposed and I said no."

"What the fuck, Iz? You didn't really say no..."

"Acutally, I panicked and said 'Oh shit...' I was-"

"You fucking bitch."

[Click.]

Izumi stared at the phone and cried. It was minutes before she grabbed her coat and ran out the door.

"That stupid stupid girl!" Lucas threw his pillow across the room. The door crashed open.

"Lucas? What's wrong? I heard yelling?" It was another dancer from the show.

"Izzy said no! She fucking said no!"

"I'm sorry?" The dancer didn't know what to think. "Iz...that's your former dance partner right?"

Lucas grabbed some things and started packing. "Tell Jorge I'm going on vacation and leaving for a week..."

"Umm, shouldn't you tell him yourself?"

"I don't have time. I need to fix this." Lucas did one final sanity/essentials check, grabbed his coat and ran off to the airport.

Izumi ended up at Ranka's. He had called her only to hear her crying and demanded she come to the house. He didn't ask what happened; unfortunately, he was in a rush to head out and pick up Mei and see Mizuzu. "Why don't you stay here. You know where to leave the spare key. Take some time to sort things out." He regretfully left Izumi alone.

About 16 hours later (flight and airport travel included) Lucas arrived at Takashi's.

[knocking]

"I'll get the door, Taka," Mistkuni put down his tea. "Lucas?"

Embarrassed, he blurted out, "Um... I didn't have time to exchange any money...and the meter's running..." Completely taken off guard, Mitskuni stared blankly at Lucas.

"Mitskuni?" He heard Takashi calling him down the hall. "Um... just a second, Taka." He turned back to Lucas, "Why don't you go inside, I'll handle the cab fair."

"I'm really sorry."

"Ne, don't think anything of it. I am loaded," he winked.

Lucas went inside and sat down to take off his shoes. "Lucas," a deep voice called.

He turned, "Hey Takashi."

[silence]

"So um...Iz?"

"Not home."

"She ran off didn't she?"

Takashi responded with a quizzical look. "I thought she was with Haruhi?"

"Um... She called me and told me...and I um...I sort of called her a 'fucking bitch' and hung up on her."

"What?" Mitskuni asked hearing the last part.

"Um...yeah... I'm guessing Iz ran off if she's not answering her phone...she's not taking my calls...not that I could call the past 16 hours..." Lucas went off mumbling to himself. The guys headed toward the sitting room. More tea and snacks were brought out. As much as Takashi and Mitskuni were eager to hear anything about Izumi, they could tell Lucas was running on empty, so they let him sleep.

The next morning, Mitskuni, Lucas, and Takashi sat to talk. Lucas told them the story of how she found out her parents were dead. She was actually at dance practice with Lucas when it happened. He dropped her off at home and then got a call a few hours later of Izzy just screaming hysterically into the phone. Lucas and his mom rushed over and the cops explained how they were killed in a car accident.

"When I told you the quickie version, it was mostly to explain the emancipation and how we ended up 'adopting' Izzy. I left out the bad parts.

"Izzy went into a depression. Paying bills was only an excuse to quit dance. But the emotional toll of her parents death affected her dancing. When she didn't dance, she ran way. When she wasn't running or dancing, she was smoking. When she wasn't doing any of that she went nearly hysterical with guilt and regret, that was, quite frankly, unreasonable. "Grief counselors" said that she was looking for something to blame. She ran away when she thought she was going to explode.

"Looking back on it now, it seems like it took decades for all of this... but the worst was the first year. When Izzy stopped running, she started studying, then she was old enough to get a job. Her time was consumed.

Something has got her freaked and bad."

Mitskuni was very solemn, "So much pain. So so much hurt." They sat in silence.

"Well," Takashi said, finally breaking the silence, "It's not like we don't know where she is. Last night, Haruhi called me to tell me. Do we just leave her and wait for her to come back? Do we get her?"

"How about I talk to her first?"

A knock on the door caused Izumi to jump. Haruhi said she would tell me if she ever came, or sent anyone. She looked through the eye hole and saw no one. What? Do I open it? No, don't open it.

[knocking]

What? She looked again and saw no one, but there was knocking. Okay, maybe it's girl scout cookies...in Japan?

She opened the door and Lucas stepped in front of her.

"Shocked? Happy to see me? I was standing beside the door. I knew you wouldn't open if you saw me." He pushed his way past her. "Don't give me that 'What are you doing here' look. It's your fault. You know how worried Takashi is? What the hell is wrong with you?"

She followed him into the main room. At least he remembered to take off his shoes.

"So, you going to say anything?"

"I have papers to grade."

"Already?"

"We are in Japan."

"Anything to say about Takashi proposing to you?"

Izumi breathed in deeply. "You're too mad to hear me clearly."

"Try me."

"No, not when you're this pissed."

"And I don't have a right to be?"

"Lucas, i DO NOT want to start arguing."

"You're the one raising your voice."

Izumi's response was an eye roll.

"Then talk to me."

"AND SAY WHAT!" she slammed her fists on the table. "Of all people, I thought you would understand, without me having to explain."

"Well it's obvious that I don't and no one else does."

"Haruhi does!"

"What? You told her?"

"No, she has a baby, what do you think I am? Heartless?"

"So what does she understand?"

"Not having a mom, to start."

This took Lucas back a bit. Wasn't I there when you lost your parents? Weren't you freaking living with me? Didn't my parents fucking adopt you? What could I not understand? He saw that she was shaking from holding back her tears. Okay, I'm missing something..."Izzy..." He hugged her... "Iz, what's wrong? What's going on."

"Lucas, I don't have parents."

"I know babes," he rubbed her back, "I know."

"No it's not just that. I mean... God I don't even know how to explain it."

"Take a breath... and just start wherever, you can fill in the gaps later."

"This is it, Lucas... I mean... Yeah I knew that my parents were gone... but..."

"It's okay..." he reassured her.

"When we spent Thanksgiving together, it was the first time Haruhi said she wanted her mom in the delivery room. And I was kind of like "Aw, so sad." But when she was actually giving birth and freaking out... it hit me then." Izumi looked up at Lucas and saw he didn't understand yet. "Lucas, one day I'm going to be like Haruhi: giving birth without my mom to help me." Ah, now he's starting to get it.

"Lucas, there wasn't any parents for Takashi to ask permission from. There will be no mom to help the bride get ready, no dad to give the bride away. No father to dance with at the 'father-daughter' dance. No one to celebrate with when we buy our first house."

I guess she doesn't realize the house is theirs yet? How dense is she?

"I mean, Haruhi... she just wanted her mom to be with her when she gave birth. There's no mom...there's no dad. There's not going to be any grandparents from my side. There's not going to be anyone on my side other than your family. I'm alone Lucas! That's it!

"My own parents didn't want me. Now the parents that did want me have died. I'm emancipated from your parents. Life, everything I wanted, all the dreams I've had, they're all gone. I mean, fuck, we thought we were going to get married and your gay!"

"And she jokes!" They laughed and hugged more.

"Why is it I was nearly hysterical when I was trying to explain this to Takashi, but with you it comes out normal."

"Somewhat normal."

"Fine. Somewhat normal."

"It's because it's me."

"Lucas, I don't even have you anymore."

"Um, did I not just buy a red eye to come to Japan? Do you know how expensive it is to buy a last minute international ticket? You're so damn lucky we're on break because they're doing auditions. I could have been fired." Izumi rested her head on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry Lucas."

"You know, you're being a bitch."

She pushed him, "Fuck you."

"No, seriously, you're being a bitch. You're totally negative."

Annoyed, she got up, "Oh I don't have reason to be?"

"No, I never said that, but don't let it consume you."

"Luuucas-"

"No. Stop with the tortured soul thing-"

"But I am-"

"Get over it!" he nearly yelled. Izumi shifted uncomfortably. "Seriously Iz. I know you're in pain, but you have had a great thing in Takashi. Sure the whole dance thing was a flop, but you tried. You have to stop running-"

"Running to Japan brought me to Takashi," she quipped.

"Fine, one point for you on being positive. Just stop running from him."

"I don't want t-"

"Be dependent on him for everything?" Lucas sighed. "I don't know whether to slap you for being frustrating or slap you for being negative, or just for stupidity." Izumi went into the kitchen to get more tea. "What are you afraid of?""

"Everything. I don't know who I am, what to do with myself..."

"Sure you do... You're Takashi's girlfriend, fiance if you want. You will go on loving him for the rest of our life. You're not even old yet. Don't even worry about a career...just have a job until you know what you really want to do. You enjoy teaching don't you? You like your kids."

"Yeah, but there's a huge part of my life that's missing."

Lucas hugged her. "I know babes. I know. It's okay to have it hurt. But... I don't want to say 'that's life'... but you have to move on. It'll hurt, but you can't let it stop you from living. You can have a life with Takashi, with the happiness that you deserve. You don't have to keep beating yourself up."

Izumi sighed. "This isn't going to be like how I ever imagined it though."

"Has any of it?"

"Well, you're a famous dancer and choreographer."

"Without my favorite partner, without my real dad loving me...not that I want him...But... Iz, if some random producer didn't come up with this dance-contest-on-tv idea... I wouldn't have this dream." Izumi sighed again. She's finally starting to get it.

"Iz," he whispered into her ear, "dream again. Let Takashi be that dream."

"What if he leaves me? Like everyone else...in some way or another?"

Lucas grabbed her shoulders. "I. Am. Going. To. Beat. You. You can't live in fear. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. It's annoying. Seriously."

Izumi sighed. She new everything he said was right. It was just, well, hard.

"Why don't you go back home to Takashi, k?"

"Yeah I know."

"I'll go with you."

"I should probably talk to him alone."

"And have awesome make-up slash engagement sex!

"We don't have sex?" she said without thinking.

"WHAT?"

"I mean, not vaginal."

"Wait what?"

Izumi turned to look at Lucas. "Nope. No vag sex. Everything else but that."

"What?"

"Hands and mouths."

"What?"

"Lucas..."

"But... no sex? How in the hell? I mean, you do realize you're not a virgin."

Izumi raised an eyebrow.

"No!"

Izumi gave a half smile.

"HOW OLD IS HE?"

"21"

"And a virgin?"

"Yeah."

"What?"

"Just... just don't say anything. I mean..."

"And you didn't tell me?"

"Well, the relationship was different..."

"How big is he? I mean he's tall, hes got big feet and hands..."

"Lucas..."

"OMG, TAKASHI IS A VIRGIN!"

"He's got a good mouth...and hands..."

"Does he know you're not a virgin?"

"Of course, to include how many guys I've slept with."

"So he knows as much about your sex life as I do?" Lucas sat back down on the floor.

"No! Not as much as you, I tell you everything...about everyone else. Just not Takashi."

I just assumed they were having sex. I mean, I guess they are. Oral is sex, but oh my god... "Is he a prude?"

"Lucas," Izumi said packing her things, "if he was a prude we wouldn't be doing anything at all other than holding hands."

"Porn?"

"This isn't going to turn into a 'I'm a tragic person' to 'I have lots of oral sex'. You make me sound like an HBO or Lifetime special."

"So he's waiting."

"Yep."

"He's totally traditional."

"Yeah." Izumi smiled to herself. He's my steady constant. My rock."Just... don't let this go beyond here. I don't think this group talks about their sex lives with each other."

"They need to watch more American tv...there's so much teenage sex." Izumi threw a pillow in his face.

Lucas and Izumi left Ranka's together. Mitskuni was walking out when they arrived back at Takashi's home. Izumi stopped walking when she saw Takashi in the doorway. Mitskuni patted her shoulder as he walked passed.

"Lucas, wanna meet Kotoko? It's been a while since you've seen everyone!"

"Yeah, that's a great idea."

"I'll take you, they're over there now." The two boys got into Mitskuni's car and went to the Suoh #2 mansion. There was a period of silence after the car drove off. Izumi felt completely foreign now.

"Welcome home."

Izumi looked up and saw Takashi holding out his hand. She ran up and took it.

"I'm sorry."

"Let's go inside."

They walked, hand in hand, to the sitting room. There was no staff, for which Izumi was greatful. As they sat on the couch, Izumi took Takashi's hands in hers.

"I owe you and explanation..."

"OMG IT'S LUCAS!" Hikaru screamed.

"What are you doing here?" Kaoru peeked over his brother's shoulder.

"Came to see Kotoko."

"Really?" Kyoya questioned, pushing up his glasses.

Lucas took off his shoes, and make his way to Tamaki and Haruhi to say hello and meet Kotoko. They were all in the middle of catching up when Kyoya interjected.

"So, since no one's going to ask, I'll just come right out and say it. Mitskuni, you look troubled and you're here without Reiko. Lucas, you're here completely unannounced. What's going on?"

"Kyoya!" Haruhi exclaimed, "That's rude."

"Is it," he raised an eyebrow. Lucas and Mitskuni exchanged looks, which caused everyone in the group to take pause.

Mitskuni eventually nodded and Lucas handed a sleeping Kotoko back to Tamaki. "So, are you guys ready for a story?"

Mitskuni explained that Takashi had finally proposed, but silenced the cheers with a raised hand. Lucas took over re-explaining Izumi's life story. Told in succession and in one sitting, it was really depressing.

"So, she kind of freaked when Takashi proposed," Mitskuni explained as Lucas was trying to avoid becoming emotional. "Then the texts came in."

Haruhi gasped. "My labor..."

"Yeah," said Lucas. "So, Haruhi you'd know best. Everything you wanted your mom here for... multiply it by 2 since both her parents are gone."

It was Tamaki's turn to gasp. "Oh my God." He looked down at Kotoko, wondering how anyone could give up their child. How that must have made Izumi feel knowing that she was obviously adopted, and the sense of loss she must feel over both parents being taken at the same time. He only imagined that he would die before Kotoko. I mean, that's just the way of things.

"She must be really freaked out," Kaoru said solemnly.

"She was, sort of still is, but she's okay. It's just really hitting her that her parents really aren't going to be apart of her life anymore." He went on to explain all the same milestones that would be missed just like Izumi explained to him.

"Wait," Kyoya interrupted. "The house?"

"Yeah she doesn't know."

"Really?" they all questioned.

Lucas shrugged. "She's a nut sometimes, what can I say?"

"So you flew here to check on her?" Kaoru asked.

"Wouldn't you do the same for Hikaru?"

"So what's happening now," Haruhi asked.

"They're talking. We just came here to give them time."

When she finished explaining, Izumi looked back at Takashi.

I don't know what to say. They both thought.

"Izumi, I still want to marry you."

"I'm like a walking hazard. I hyperventilated!"

"You keep me on my toes."

"Like you need to be taller," she huffed.

"Hm?" He looked Izumi in the eyes. "Izumi, I want you to be my wife."

She breathed. She was calm. The panic didn't jump up and grab hold like last time. Parts of her heart hurt when she thought of her parents, but she focused on Takashi, like Lucas told her to. Thoughts of him made her happy.

"Izumi," he said again. His voice low and tender, "Will you marry me?" This time, it was the reaction he was hoping for. She nodded. Silent tears slipped down Izumi's cheeks and he kissed them away. I won't promise to never leave, that might remind her too much of her parents. "I promise to take care of you and to be with you. I love you and am completely devoted to you."

"I'm so sorry Takashi."

"What for?"

"For hurting you."

"It's okay. We have a story to tell our children one day. How their mom said 'Oh, shit'."

"Children?" Takahi's face fell flat. Izumi punched him lightly in the chest. "I'm just kidding. Just, not right away..."

"Do you want the ring?"

"You got a ring?"

"Yes. I know it's not typical Japanese. Engagement rings only become popular as Christianity spreads throughout the country and more Western styles adopted. I thought it would be important to you, so I got one." Takashi got up and returned a few minutes later with a wooden lacquered box. He placed it into Izumi's hands and watched as she opened it.

She gasped. The setting was an exact replica of her mother's engagement ring. "How did you?"

"When a majority of your things came. Mitskuni helped unpack and found your photo albums. We flipped through them and there was just one picture-"

"The jungle fever one?"

"Huh?"

"Hah. It's the picture of them holding hands. My dad was actually darker than my mom because he tans easily."

"Yeah. I brought it to a jeweler and he said it was a clear enough shot to replicate it." He paused, "Do you like it?" More tears and nods came. "Do you want to try it on?" Takashi took the box and pulled out the ring. She moved the "Morinozuka" band to her right hand. As he slipped ring on her finger and they both held their breath. "No running away," he teased. He kissed the top of her hand. "How do you feel?"

"It's a lot heavier than I imagined."

"Platinum is heavier than gold."

"It's so shiny." This is it. I'm engaged to Takashi now.

"You sound like Mitskuni looking at a ganache cake." Takashi entwined his fingers with Izumi's and kissed her gently. She responded in kind by passionately kissing him.