Detentionaire

Chaz Monerainian

Nine forty-five: Gym/ Physical Education. AKA Dodge ball

In the gymnasium.

"I love nothing more than getting a ball to the gut right before lunch time. Really helps my weight loss plan." Lee muttered, sitting on the bleachers and nursing a bruised stomach.

"Homes, was your cuz like, serious about a date on Friday?" Cam asked nervously. "Cuz, you know, she got super hot in three years."

"She's messing with you, Cam." Lee said in a dead pan tone.

"Hey, Ping!" Cyrus shouted from the floor, and climbed the bleachers to sit with Lee and Cam. "So, about Song?" Cyrus began.

"Not you too. She looks at dating this way; if she can't get anything out of it or make the guy cry, then she isn't serious about it. Unless you have something she wants, or she knows she can cause mental anguish, then you don't have a chance." Lee explained. "Besides, she's helping me with getting Chaz out of the news room long enough for me to get in and check their archives."

"Meaning?" Cyrus asked.

"Meaning, that until further notice, she is officially dating Chaz Monerainian. And she won't cheat on him, even if he's a complete hat rack for butt covers. And she said that." Lee explained. "Besides, the only meaningful relationships she's been in, is the dysfunctional one she has with Cams' head. She enjoys toying with his mind."

"So, I'm on the back burner?" Cam asked hopefully.

"Neither of you are even in the kitchen. So to speak. She doesn't view high school romance the same way other girls do." Lee said. "And this is rapidly getting awkward. I do not want to discuss my cousin's love life. We're related and that is too close for comfort."

"Can I at least get her cell number off you?" Cam asked, Cyrus nodded eagerly, both grinning hopefully.

"No! I'm going to the bathroom." Lee stated. "Dodge ball lends itself to several uncomfortable abuses."

"Like discussing your cousin?" Biff asked, scaring the bejeebers out of Lee.

"Where did you come from?" Lee demanded, looking around.

"Under the bleachers. I was feeding Mrs. Rumplekittycat." Biff explained. "If you want my help with Chaz, then I'll need Songs' cell number for syncing."

"Tell me you aren't in love with her too?" Lee groaned.

"No, but I will if it makes you uncomfortable." Biff chuckled, grinning maliciously.

"Forget it. She's only distracting Chaz for a couple days." Lee said, heading out into the hall. Biff followed him.

"So you know how he gets, when he gets attached to something, or someone.?" Biff asked pointedly.

"What do you mean?" Lee asked.

"I mean, Chaz gets way to attached. To the point of obsession. Song could be dealing with him for a long time." Biff explained.

"Did you not hear me talking to Cyrus and Cam?" Lee asked with a laugh. "Song knows how to deal with overeager boys."

"And how would she do it?" Biff asked sceptically.

"Painfully." Lee said simply.

Eleven-thirty. Lunch time. Cafeteria.

"So, there I was, without any hair product and about to go on air" Chaz was telling Song a story from a few weeks ago, and Song did not look happy to have to sit and listen to him, judging by the looks she kept sending Lee.

"Dude, I thought I was in for it when she threatened those foreign horror movies on me. But you, she's gonna kill you and dance on your grave homme. She ain't even going to let little things like the law, get in her way. Or even your mom and the fact that you are family. She's going to massacre you." Cam said trying not to grin at Lees' discomfort.

"Thank you Cam. I wasn't aware that Song has been plotting my demise since she agreed to help me get to the bottom of the Prank." Lee said sarcastically.

"Just saying, man. She ain't happy with you at all." Cam said, finally grinning, when Song sent a particularly murderous look at Lee, he cringed. "Man, I felt that one." Cam said.

"I have to go. The only safe place for me for the next few days, is detention." Lee said, hurrying out of the cafeteria.

"So Cam. You know Song. Almost as long as Lee?" Cyrus asked, sitting down next to Cam. His band mates joined them. Cam looked around nervously, then grinned at his sudden popularity.

"I'm sure I could help you out. So long as there was something in it for me?" Cam said expectantly.

"We could use a roadie for our next gig." suggested Tanner, the drummer.

"Throw in a free t-shirt and cd and you got a deal." Cam said. Cyrus and his mates considered for a moment.

"Done. Give me something I can use, and you'll get to appear, briefly, onstage with the band as we set up. You'll run out some amp hook ups." Waylan said, throwing his blond hair over his shoulder. "I'm always forgetting them anyway."

"So, Lee told me that during math, Song said she wanted to challenge herself, cause the math isn't what she's used to. They have crazy high expectations in Japan. Doing like college or university math in high school." Cam began

"Details, condensed version. Not a big long epic retelling of the Illiad please." Cyrus said, cutting Cam off.

"Uhh… Song's gonna get tested to be a tutor for other kids having trouble in math." Cam said. "Ain't you failing math?" he asked pointedly.

"No, I'm just not doing too great in it. I could use a tutor." Cyrus said as realization dawned.

"Okay. You think about that. I gotta go. So many chiquitas, so little time bro." Cam said and slouched away.

"What's so special about the new girl?" Matt asked blankly.

"Huh? Oh, nothing. Told Lee before class that I'd help keep Song outta trouble. He can't keep an eye on her when he's in detention. And no one would trust Cam. So, he asked me." Cyrus said smoothly, trying not to notice Song getting up and leaving Chaz talking to thin air as she left the cafeteria.

"She's cute, but that look is too…It ain't metal enough." Tanner said.

"She looks like a punk rock doll." Matt said, both missed the glare Cyrus tried to hide under the brim of his hat. Waylan wasn't the brightest tool, but he noticed and wondered about it for a moment, before eating got in the way of linear thought.

Twelve oh five. Third Period. Science Class.

"Now, Miss Ping. We've already divided into groups. Two groups are short a member. There is Brandi's group and then there is Cyrus' group. You have until the end of class to decide.." Mr. Emskuware said.

"Cyrus' group. Those girls fear me." Song said immediately and with a straight face.

"They…fear you?" Mr. Emskuware asked blankly.

"Well, not yet. But they'll learn to." Song said, grinning wickedly at Brandi and her group.

"Please sit with your group." Mr. Emskuware said faintly. Song gave him a brilliant smile and sat down with Cyrus, Waylan, and Tanner.

"Today we will be researching hormone responses to attractive pheromones. Case in point, the honey bee…" Mr. Emskuware began to drone on about bees and flowers.

"So, I heard you were planning on being an official tutor for the school." Cyrus said, between taking notes and sneak eating a candy bar.

"Nah. I figure, if someone is failing in math, then it is their conscious choice. And I don't plan on getting between someone and their free will." Song said. "Man, this guy just drones on and on and on."

"Well, Cam was saying that. And me and my band need to get our grades up or our sponsor will drop us. Without the sponsor, we lose the gigs we got for the next three weekends." Cyrus said, trying to sound convincing.

"How are your grades now?" Sang asked.

"Not bad, but with practice and school, and all the driving we have to do, getting study time is harder than we thought." Tanner said.

"Sounds like you could use a manager, not a tutor." Song said. "I think my brain is melting from all the numbing the teacher is giving us." she groaned suddenly.