Hey all you lovely people, I have an idea were this is going but if you have any ideas then you should review and they could happen. I'm not a writer but I do enjoy this and I hope at least some of you do to. Thanks for taking the time to read, it makes me all happy :)
"So, um. I guess I wanted to apologise about yesterday." Blaine started.
"It's ok. I guess I was probably the last person you were expecting."
The silence settled again and they shared a few glances.
"I called into work, I have the day off. I wondered if we could start our sessions today?"
"Are you sure? I mean I can get you another therapist if you'd like? It might be easier for you?"
"I'll stick with you…unless you have any problem with that?"
"No, I'm fine with it; shall we take a seat then?"
Kurt gestured towards a couch and chair on one side of the room. Blaine settled on the couch while Kurt went and collected a notepad and a pen.
When Kurt joined Blaine he was fidgeting with a loose bit of cotton from his top. Everything about his situation was awkward.
This time it was Kurt who broke the silence.
"So Blaine, I read your referral from work and it seems that you will be coming for therapy twice a week, every week. Will that be a problem?"
Blaine shook his head and Kurt took this as a sign to continue.
"I specialise in cognitive behavioural therapy and in our sessions we will attempt to change your thought processes to help gain control over your anger and cope with depression. We will also be discussing the trigger factors and any relevant issues in your life that may have contributed to you feeling this way. Anything you tell me will be kept confidential unless I feel the information has to be shared; this will only be if I feel that you or people around you are at harm."
Blaine nods in understanding.
"I think you would also find it useful to take part in a group anger management session alongside our own. It's not mandatory but if you would like to give it a try I can organise that for you."
"Whatever."
"I think that's everything I need to say, do you have any questions?"
Kurt stared at Blaine expectantly, waiting for Blaine to ask something, anything. It seemed like an age before Blaine had decided on a question.
"Do you know how long I'll be here for?"
"Until I feel the sessions are no longer needed, until then you must attend all agreed sessions and inform myself and your employer if you are unable to make it. If you do miss a lot of our sessions, I'm not sure how safe your job is."
"Right."
"Anything else?"
"No."
"So then, shall we begin?" Kurt asked.
Kurt leaned back in his chair.
"How are you feeling today?"
"Ok."
"Would you like to elaborate?"
"No."
Kurt jotted something down on his pad.
"Why don't we start off with work, tell me about it."
"It's ok I suppose. It pays the bills."
"Does it make you happy?"
"No. Does this make you happy?"
Kurt didn't answer. This didn't feel right. Sitting in a room with Blaine trying to get him to open up, it felt like he was interrogating him, not trying to help. When they were younger they talked about everything. This felt wrong.
"Listen Blaine, this has never happened to me before. I've only ever worked with strangers. I know this is unprofessional of me to say, but I don't think I can work with you."
"That mean you're gonna leave me again then?" Blaine said. Hurt evident in his eyes.
Kurt was caught off guard. Blaine needed help; it wasn't fair to keep him to his self.
"I'm finding you another therapist." Kurt said.
"Well, I thought we were here to talk about my problems?"
"We are."
"Well I'd say you were a pretty big problem." Blaine's voice was getting louder and louder. "I actually can't even believe you're attempting to treat me like a stranger! You already know more about me than any other therapist would ever find out! And you sit there with your stupid note pad and act like we've only just met!"
Kurt didn't interrupt. On some level he had been expecting this since Blaine had first walked through his door.
"You just fucked off and forgot about me! I fucking loved you and you said you loved me but then you left. That was the only reason I came here. I came for you. But you just stopped listening! You didn't return my calls or emails; your dad wouldn't tell me where you were. I basically just wandered around for 4 months looking for you!"
Kurt snapped.
"I did love you! Don't blame this on me for trying to live my dream!"
"Ha! Some dream this is ey, sitting in a shitty office. This what you wanted? Well I'm glad it didn't work out for you because nothing ever works out for me."
Blaine's anger had been building and building, his voice was getting louder, his fists balled up. For a second Kurt felt scared. Blaine got out of his seat and walked out, Kurt getting a strange sense of déjà vu.
Kurt sat there, tears building in his eyes. This wasn't Blaine. Not the Blaine he had loved for so long, he thought he could help him. But he had thought wrong. Neither of them were the same person they had been back in high school. The tears fell silently down his cheek.
Suddenly the door flung back open and Blaine was back in the room pacing up and down hands in his hair breathing hard. Kurt felt scared again. He stood.
"FuckfuckfuckfuckFUCK!" Blaine shouted.
"Blaine." Kurt said timidly; almost afraid to get his attention.
Blaine turned and saw the fresh tears rolling down Kurt's cheeks. He stopped pacing. The first thing that came into his head was to go and comfort Kurt, to wipe his tears away and hold him. His hands fell down to his sides.
"Kurt, I. I'm sorry. I just don't know what happened. It's like I black out and when I come back someone has always been hurt. I don't want to hurt you Kurt. I'm sorry."
"I think you should leave, I don't allow my clients to behave like this."
"But Kurt? Have you not listened to a word I said? I don't want you to treat me like a stranger! I'm not just a client, I'm Blaine!" Blaine realised his voice had been getting louder again so he stopped shouting. He looked down at his feet and whispered quietly, "I'm your Blaine."
Either Kurt didn't hear or he chose to ignore it.
"Your sessions finished Blaine; I'll see you Thursday at 10."
Instead of arguing or storming out Blaine looked up at Kurt, nodded and simply just left.
For some reason this had more of an effect on Kurt than the other times Blaine had left. This time Blaine looked, sad. Broken.
Kurt wanted to fix him.
Blaine entered his apartment with a sigh. He felt something rub against his leg and then work its way between him.
"Hey Sami."
He bent down and stroked the cat between its ears and under its chin.
"Haven't seen you in a few days." Blaine commented.
He made his way to the kitchen whilst shrugging off his jacket. He gave Sami some food and got a beer out the fridge for himself. He wanted a cigarette to accompany his drink but he distracted himself by peeling the label off the bottle. He leaned against the kitchen worktop and took a swig from his beer. He was beginning to think trying to get through to Kurt was a huge waste of time until he realised that Kurt had agreed to their next session.
If Kurt wasn't ready to give up on him then he wasn't going to give up on Kurt.