Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, or any of its affiliates; they are the sole property of Stephanie Myer and always will be.

This story is set in an Alternate Universe.

ECHOES OF THE SOUL

Chapter Six

Our sense of worth, of well-being, even our sanity depends upon our remembering. But, alas, our sense of worth, our well-being and our sanity also depend upon our forgetting.

– Joyce Appleby

One of the definitions of sanity is the ability to tell real from unreal. Soon we will need a new definition.

– Alvin Toffler

"Oh my little baby is all grown up. Edward darling, be a good boy while you are away. And remember that you can come back and visit whenever you want. We are going to miss you so much."

The teary, emotionally wrung-out voice of Elizabeth Masen floated up the stairwell, her message easily reaching the ear of one solitude figure that stood quietly by the handrail and watched the day's events unfold stoically, with still lips and expressionless eyes. Not a tear in sight, Bella could only watch solemnly as the one person that had made her life bearable, hug and console his openly teary mother and shake hands with his dad before finally dropping the manly, confident demeanour and hugging both of the tightly, a slightly scared look in his eyes. God, how she wished to comfort him on this day; to hug him and whisper that everything would be alright.

But it was not to be. Eight years of her existence with this boy turned man and it had all come down this; to one empty thought and one forgotten goodbye. Muscles formed from weeks, years of hard training and weights, barely strained under the heavy load of bags and books for college. Edward had gotten that scholarship that he had once only dreamed of, and now was off to his new home on campus, much to the pride and worry of his parents.

He was leaving today.

Twisting her fingers together to ease the pain and agony she felt as slowly Edward's belongings were removed from the house for at least the next few years, if not forever. After all, his parents had met and fallen in love at college, marrying just weeks after they finished their studies. Edward may never come home to her again.

Heart tearing in her chest, Bella reflected over the last few years. The last two especially has been difficult by anyone's standards, but Bella was not just anyone. It was not as if she was a normal girl that lost a good friend, but had plenty of other opportunities to meet others, no, Bella had only one friend. Edward had been the only one to ever see her, and even he had chosen to lose sight of the ghostly, yet very real, apparition that had lived in his room before it was even called Edward's room.

She had no one now.

She knew, from the last near decade that the Masen's had occupied the house, that there must have been something special about Edward because he could see and talk to her. Neither of his parents, or his friends, or their parents for that matter, knew that she existed and that awkward introduction when he was ten years old between her and his mom had put them both off ever trying again. Bella because she felt it was pointless, and Edward because he felt as if his mother thought he had lost it, for she had been very odd and questioning in the days that had followed.

Still, though she was practically cut off from the world, Bella had sought and found immense comfort in the fact that Edward, that sweet little boy, was there. And then the years had come along with its changes, and that innocently inquisitive, beautiful soul grew and became a man; an adult. Sure, he was a kind adult, but he was one nonetheless. A human being that no longer believed in magic and friends that no one else could see; sometimes Bella wished very much that he had never grown.

But he had, and now Edward was a young man of eighteen who was more than ready and willing to start out all on his own and to start to really live his own life. He wanted to work and live and fall in love, and just experience everything that life had to offer. His decision to major in journalism had been a shock to most, especially his parents who had expected him to attend a music school, but Edward had been adamant in his choice.

Bella had hoped that his decision to give up on the talent and gift that he had cultivated as a child would waiver and he would resume playing, but Edward did not relent in his choice. The gorgeous baby grand remained covered with a sheet and was left to gather dust and never play sweet music again. It became her main resting place now since the comfort she had once found laying atop the bed was cold and dulled. Besides, Bella often avoided the room altogether, choosing instead to sit morosely in front of the fire, trying in vain to drown out the giggles of Edward's new conquests.

Bree, the girlfriend that had once been for eternity, had transferred when her parent's had switched counties, and the distance became too much for the relationship to survive. Instead Edward had decided to join all his jock friends in a tradition of shameless behaviour; wining and dining a new girl every other night, the majority of which were utterly disgraceful and promiscuous freshmen who though getting in with the hot jocks would win them popularity.

And through all of this, Bella remained. Not the she could really leave, but a part of her was bound to Edward and she just could not seem to let him go, just as he had done her. She didn't understand how this had all happened. She had once played such a vital role in his life; he had once come to her about everything that happened, and about everything that was on his mind. His first crush (after her), his fights with his friends, and with his parents and just all the other everyday things that came to his mind during the course of the day; everything, he had shared with her.

And now she was this. She had been reduced to a mere phantom in the background of the bronze-haired boy's life; intangible and forgotten by the rest of the world. Sometimes she was so angry at the self-centred, self-absorbed person that Edward had become, but mostly she was simply sad. Sad that after all they had weathered together and all that they had promised to one another, that they had come to this. She wanted her Edward back, now more than ever.

When she had told Edward that fateful day that she knew not what she was or remembered how she had become this thing, Bella had not been entirely truthful. Ever since she could remember, she had had flickers and clues to her past; some that she treasured and adored, like memories of her parents, but then there were others that terrified her. The comfort and love that Edward had shown to her over the years had kept the darker memories at bay as easily as breathing, but when that love and comfort had dissipated, they had slowly trickled back into her mind.

Now without him, Bella felt as if every, single breath hurt her; the sinister memories filled her mind until she all but suffocated on the foul bile that rose to her throat at the horrific content of the recollections. As each one, new and old, filtered through her mind, the clarity was so clear that the tiny brunette felt as if she was reliving each and every one in the flesh.

More than once had the ten year old wished to put a drill to her head and purge the memories from her mind, but then she would see a glimpse of her Edward in this new and strange adult Edward and she could not do it. All it took was a slightly nervous smile or flexing his fingers to bring her back to the days when he had known her and had loved her. And she could not regret the memories in that moment because without them, Bella would never have had her Edward, short as the time they had together.

A resounding bang stirred the brown-eyed brunette from her somewhat grim musings, and Bella looked up to find that the front door was now closed and that none of the three Masens were anywhere in view. Her gaze drifting to the front window effortlessly, Bella stiffened as she watched Edward kiss his mother through the window of his car, hands lazily clutching the steering wheel as the engine purred in time with the bronze-haired man's revs.

The voices were inaudible from where she was standing, but the intentions of all were clear. While his parents clung to the last vestiges of their son's childhood, said son was chomping on the bit to leave this part of his life behind him and start out on the next chapter. Within minutes the intentions of the eighteen year old won out and with a cloud of dust, Edward Masen tore out of his driveway and took off in the direction of his future.

Had he only have looked back he might have (or might not have) seen the lone hand that pressed against the window as sad eyes watched the car leave. Forlorn and suddenly lost, Bella could only stand there and watch the car until it was a mere speck in the distance, and then, nothing at all. And yet she could not move from her place by the window, keeping watch over the road that her heart longed for Edward to return on, but never did.

It would be a long time before she moved again.

Two weeks later, Bella finally chose to end her self-imposed vigil.

Time had run strangely in those fourteen days that she had kept watch at that window for the black car to return home with Edward inside; sometimes it had flown by with days passing in a daze and others droning on until seconds become hours. The memories that had once plagued her returned with a vengeance, seeming to want to make up for lost time.

Sometimes Bella tried to sort through them and piece together exactly what had happened in her past that would lead to this life of stand-still; never moving forward, never moving back. And yet, try as she might, the visions that invaded her every waking moment were so fractured and fragmented that she was left with only whispers of the truth.

All that Bella knew was that she had been happy once; her parents had loved her and she had loved them. Life had been fun and pleasant and good, but something happened to change all that. Change it from love to pain and happiness to suffering. What it was, she was quite unsure, but nevertheless she knew without a shadow of doubt that whatever it could be, she had not made it out alive.

This motionless, meaningless life was not living. That much she knew. This state of moving through this one house in this one town, invisible to almost all of its inhabitants, was not living. This was something much less, something so much less than that.

In the fragmented whispers of her dreams, Bella felt ghosts of terror gripping into her; tearing at her. Laughing, tormenting, ghastly eyes followed her through the day, and horrific screams echoed into the night. She had all but abandoned the piano, an eerie feeling possessing her as she sat on it, her reflection taunting her in the wall-length, floor-length mirror. The windowsill was her haunt now, she felt safer somehow; freer. As if she could just jump out and leave this all behind. An impossible feat, she knew, but one that she frequently and vainly entertained.

She would leave this place, and find Edward. Watch over him again; those painful years of quietly and passively being a part of his life had been hard, but this... it was unbearable. There was nothing; just memories that were hazy and feelings that were fading with time. Emptiness was engulfing her, and the hollowed feeling ate at her in her sleep, and then followed on throughout the day.

Being like this... Bella wished for nothing more than peace.

It was one of the rare occasions where Bella left the safe confines of her windowsill, her silent vigil for Edward alive once more. Sometimes she sat in the Masen's living room by the fireplace and just listened to the sounds of people; the sound of life. The loneliness was steeling over her entire being; the utter aloneness ripping her apart. The sound of her Edward's parents and their friends living out their lives eased the feeling somewhat, but Bella longed to speak to someone... anyone. She could no longer remember the sound of her own voice, but she imagined it would be husky with disuse by now, most likely cracking and hoarse.

Closing her eyes instinctually as the voices of Elizabeth Masen and Mrs. Hale washed over her; Bella let some of the hollowness ease for a moment, as she basked in the life and joy in the two gossiping women's voices. Normally she didn't even listen to the words, or try to make sense of the content, but the current conversation between the two caught her attention and Bella sat up curiously, watching the two women talking animatedly about their favourite topic; the children.

More specifically... Edward.

"I know, we all thought he would take a semester or so of the course and immediately want to go back to the piano, but no. Edward told me that he is enjoying this journalism course so much."

The confusion was apparent in Elizabeth Masen's voice, but Bella could understand that. For one that had shown so much promise and skill on the piano, it seem incredulous that he would have chosen and now enjoyed a course so reliant on the written word... English being a class in which he had almost failed. A journalist...? The imagery did not fit that of the person that Bella had watched become a man from just a young boy. And apparently, Mrs. Hale agreed.

"I know what you mean, Liz. My Rosalie was such a girlie-girl her whole life, and then when college came around, she looked me right in the eyes and said she wanted to be a racing car technician. A technician! With all that grease and oil and hard labour! It was utterly preposterous, but she did it anyway."

"How is Rosalie? You said something about a boyfriend last I heard."

"Yes, Emmett. Dating for three years now, but they haven't settled down properly. And Rosalie just told me that they are expecting a child! Can you believe that, Liz? Unmarried..."

Bella tuned out the sound of Mrs. Hale in full-blown gossip mode, so she could avoid the dark tales of the modern Rosalie Hale and her child, instead choosing to ignore the pair unless the subject of her Edward came up again.

He did not.

Heart sinking, and mind clouding, Bella let out a pathetic, mewling cry. Part of her wished that one of the woman would hear her and take note of the slowing fading girl, but as always, she passed though life unheard and unnoticed. It was not heart-breaking like it once was… the petite brunette felt so hollowed and empty that nothing could really pierce her heart any longer.

No, this was soul-wrenching.

Her being cried out in anguish for the little boy that she loved so very dearly, and her soul darkened and shrivelled from his loss. Edward was gone for her, and he was not coming back. It was so hard to reconcile, to understand. All the things she had told herself years ago about children growing up and living their own lives one day were meaningless now. Ghosts of sound that did not ease the torment in her soul

A fractured memory blindsided the fragile, little girl.

Crying out in distress and agony, Bella lived anew the sensation of rough hands and sharp nails, the scent of foul breath on her face and a sudden onslaught of fear and shame. It wound its way into her thoughts so that she could not escape, and wrung her insides into triple-knots. Breathing harshly, she tried to fight off the feeling of hopelessness and despair that accompanied such horrifying and sickening visions, but once again was unable.

Something about her past was trying to make itself known once more, and unlike memories of her mother and her father… this was not pleasant or kind. It was darkness, danger and pain… flickers of screams and desperate cries. Pleading that grated in her ears and dark laughter that twisted her all up inside and made her nauseous.

Heart aching, Bella screamed out Edward's name, her cry falling on deaf ears. She needed the peace that his presence inspired in her; the love and friendship that drove these dark… things… away for her and let her rest in silence.

Blindly, she sought out her once refuge, where she and he had spent so many years together, close as anything. Though she knew there was nothing to be found in that empty bedroom, she could not help but return. Love was blind, this she knew all too well – and it was deaf and dumb, it appeared as well.

Needing to feel close to her Edward, Bella crossed the silent room to the abandoned baby grand piano that lay still by the mirrored wall. Pulling off the dusty sheet, she ran her fingers lightly over the ebony and ivory keys, never letting her touch bring any note from the instrument. Bella was unsure if she would survive hearing such a sound right now.

Eyes lifting, the soft brown orbs met their twins in the mirror, and Bella smiled sadly for a moment, before a shriek of terror was ripped from her throat.

Someone…

Her reflection rippled and went hazy. In its place, Bella could make out a large, hulking frame, with boorishly large hands and a terrible grin. Dark, piercing eyes shot through to her very soul, and Bella cringed away. Heart pounding in her chest, the petite brunette turned slowly, half expecting a huge figure to be lying in wait for her. After all, it had to be someone's reflection.

A scream ready in her throat, Bella's gaze fell behind her as she took in the room. It was still and it was empty, just as it had been moments ago. None of the dust had been disturbed, and the room stank of disuse and staleness. No one had been here.

Breathing a sigh of relief, Bella clutched at the skin above her still racing heart and willed it to calm, though it did little good. Turning her back on the empty room, Bella gazed at the mirror once more and balked. Her eyes widening in fear and heart unable to beat any longer, Bella remained silent in her shock and terror.

Beside her reflection, was that of a large, hulking figure – same hands, same grin… and those same eyes that made her feel sick, trapped and helpless.