Disclaimer: All original characters belong to BBC/Tiger Aspect.

Previously

'You are pure and good, he has taken you, seduced you against your will, forced you, made you think that you – well it doesn't matter. I forgive you, Marian. I know it wasn't you. We can go now, like you wanted. Anywhere you want.'

'Guy?' she asked, amazed at his words. 'What do you mean, go?'

'Away, start somewhere new. I will kill Hood, then you'll be free of his lies and we can go.'

'You are not killing anyone,' she cried. 'And what about the Sheriff, you said he wouldn't let you go?'

'The Sheriff?' Guy looked puzzled. 'The Sheriff is dead.'

Sins of the Heart Part Four

'Dead?' Marian was incredulous.

'I killed him.' Guy's eyes were wide with wonder, he looked astonished at himself and glanced at his leg. Marian gasped at Guy's words. 'For you. You wanted me to leave him and the only way was to kill him. So I killed him, for you. Now we are free.' Guy looked at her expectantly, his eyes ablaze with passion.

'What?' Marian was stunned. She had played out many scenarios in her mind, but this was something she had never expected. As she was staring disbelievingly at him Guy cried out and grasped his leg.

'Guy, let me help you.' She put her arms round him holding him up. 'I told you to stop them!' she angrily shouted to the gang over her shoulder.

'That wasn't me,' Robin replied, his voice still full of fury.

Marian looked quizzically at Guy.

'The Sheriff,' he told her. 'We fought, he stabbed my leg, but I killed him.' Guy repeated these words as if unable to believe his own actions.

'Does anyone know?' Marian asked, her mind whirring with the implications.

'I am an outlaw,' Guy stated. 'Prince John sent me away. But it doesn't matter anymore, because we are going to France. You and me.'

'What about Isabella?'

'She is safe in John's bed,' he said with disgust.

'Oh, Guy,' Marian shook her head and held him. She couldn't believe what she had just heard, she was beyond shocked. Of all the things she expected Guy to do, killing the Sheriff was the last, especially when she had just betrayed him. She felt tears fill her eyes again; so he had decided she had been acting against her will. Poor Guy, he could not accept it, refused to believe she loved another. As she held him Marian remembered the nights in his bed, the warmth of his arms, their limbs tangled together, her want for him overtaking her at the merest touch of his hand. She felt that want rising again as she held him, bloodied and broken. Her heart ached to heal him, in body and spirit, to right her wrongs.

Marian eased back from him, she had forgotten the others as she cupped his face, running her fingers over his heavy stubble. She eased him to a sitting position and tentatively looked at his injured leg.

'Let me see,' she said as he leant back against a tree, exhaustion overcoming him. 'Is it deep?'

'Don't know,' he grunted.

'Does it hurt?'

'A bit.'

Marian gingerly touched it, it wasn't as deep as she first feared, but had clearly been untended for some time. She needed to clean and bandage it.

'Marian, get out the way.' Robin was speaking, still angry, but again in control. John had let him go, but had not returned his sword. Marian turned her head.

'Robin, he is injured, 'I need to clean this cut.'

'I don't care,' Robin replied.

'Get lost, Hood,' Guy spat again. 'Leave us, leave my wife alone. She's mine and you will never touch her again.' Guy's voice was full of venom, he grabbed Marian's wrist and puller her closer. Marian noticed Much edging closer to Robin.

'Robin, perhaps you should let them talk,' Much ventured nervously.

'No, Much, stay out of it.' He turned back to Gisborne. 'Let her go, Gisborne, she doesn't love you. You had to force her into marriage.'

'No,' Guy growled dangerously. 'You took her, you couldn't bear the fact that I had her. You had to take her. Face it, Hood, you lost.'

'Marian will always be mine.'

'No, you have forced her, she doesn't want you.' Guy made to stand, but Marian straddled his bad leg, pinning him back. Robin stepped forward, ready to attack Gisborne again, but Marian was between them, arms outstretched again, even as she crouched over Guy.

'Marian, out of the way,' Robin ordered. 'Let me free you of him, once and for all.' The anger and hatred in Robin's face frightened Marian, she remembered seeing it only once before – when Robin and Guy had been fighting in the forest, during her first ill-fated engagement to Guy, when Robin had discovered Guy's first attempt to kill the King.

'I'm going to kill you, Hood!' Guy shouted nearly knocking Marian sideways as he made to stand again. Only his weakened state allowed her to push him back and turn to Robin.

'Stop! Stop this now!' She turned back to Guy. 'Nobody is killing anybody.' She kept flicking her head from one to the other. Much had a restraining arm on Robin. 'If either of you died what do you think it would do to me? You both claim to love me, so please stop, please.'

Guy slumped back against the tree. He turned his head away from them all, but didn't relinquish his grip on Marian's arm.

'Robin, let me have some time with him, we need to talk. You know I cannot stay in the forest, but I will not leave yet.'

Robin looked at her, his face both angry and distraught. Marian realised he had never seen her showing any kind of affection for Guy before. It must have hit him hard, to see her heart so openly. It couldn't be easy for Guy either, to see at last her easy familiarity with Robin.

'Only if he gives me his weapons,' Robin demanded.

'No,' Guy snarled, 'Marian is my wife, I'm taking her back and we're leaving. You will never see her again.' He sounded both bitter and triumphant.

Marian felt her chest constrict. Guy had made himself an outlaw, just like Robin. Not for some greater good, or to save anyone else. But for her, in some crazy attempt to win her heart. In doing that he had destroyed the safety and security of her marriage that had been so appealing to her. Marian immediately cursed herself for thinking such a thing. After all, if it hadn't been for her betrayal he would never have acted so rashly. Not that she was sorry to see the back of Vaisey, he had been a tyrant, his rule disastrous for Nottingham and the more she knew Guy the more convinced she was that he had corrupted her husband. There was a lot she didn't know about Guy and Vaisey; Guy had never told her how he had met Vaisey and how he had risen to be his right hand man. It was definitely a sore subject and she hadn't pressed it.

'Robin,' Marian turned to him, her heart heavy with sorrow. 'Please give us some time alone. I need to see to Guy's wound and I must talk with him, in private.' She looked at Robin's face crease with grief, he realised that yet again he was losing her, like that day in the forest when Isabella had seen them. 'I'm sorry, Robin,' she murmured.

'It is too dangerous,' Robin countered, 'there could still be soldiers in the forest.'

'No, I called them off,' Guy said, turning to face them again.

'Why?' Robin asked, stunned that Marian's prediction had been correct.

'For Marian, I knew she would be with you. I could not risk her safety.'

Robin regarded Guy curiously. Marian watched the two men, Guy turned his head away again, wincing at the pain in his leg, but Robin stared at Guy, as if it was dawning on him for the first time that Guy loved her, that he might indeed have a different side to him.

'He is, as you say, your husband,' Robin said slowly. 'I will give you one hour. But, Gisborne,' Robin bent down and grabbed Guy's shirt front, baring his teeth as he spoke. 'If you hurt so much as a hair on her head I will kill you more painfully that you can imagine.'

Guy pushed Robin's hands away, but didn't answer.

Robin and the others had eventually and very reluctantly left them alone. Marian had immediately set about ripping strips from her underskirt to use as a bandage. They were silent whilst she cleaned and bandaged Guy's leg. She had been glad of their privacy as she eased his breeches down his legs, thinking how mortifying this would have been in front of Robin. Eventually, when she considered he was as patched up as he was likely to get in the forest they looked at each other. Guy's eyes were bloodshot and swollen. Marian wondered if he had been crying before he came across them or if she had hurt him when bandaging his leg.

'I'm sorry,' she said quietly. 'I have not . . . since we. . . we haven't lain together. I swear on the memory of my father, I have not.' She touched his thigh lightly underneath the cut. 'I swore I would be yours alone before you found out. I haven't changed my mind.'

Guy slowly met her eyes, he looked at her intensely until his eyes filled with tears too much to see her anymore.

'Do you have any idea how pathetic that sounds?' he asked. Guy's crazed notions of earlier had now deserted him as tears fell down his face.

'I know.' Marian felt dirty, inside and out. She was sitting there as something she despised. A liar and a cheat. An unfaithful wife. An adulterer.

'I'm so sorry, Guy,' she wept, tears of remorse falling down her cheeks. 'I will come with you. I promise. I will go wherever you want and I will be faithful and love you always. I'm so sorry.' Marian meant every word. It was her punishment to be taken away to a life of uncertainty, with a man she was uncertain of. But a man who loved her. Could he really forgive her? Part of her had hoped he would reject her, leave her and then she could stay with Robin. But in truth she was glad he still wanted her.

'You do not love me, you never have.' Guy sounded quite broken. 'You ran off to be with him, I have been looking for you for days.'

'I thought you were going to kill me,' she felt a jolt of anger, remembering the feel of his hand across her face, his blade on her neck. 'You were terrifying.'

'I'm sorry I hurt you.' He spoke with sincerity and desperation. 'Will you really come with me now?'

'Yes,' Marian took his hand in hers. He looked at her intently.

'How long has it been going on?'

'I don't know.'

'No more lies!' Guy shouted, his voice rising so suddenly she jumped. 'You tell me the truth. Whatever it is, I want the truth.'

Marian was trembling now, her hand still in his as he gripped her harder.

'And if I tell you the truth will you promise not to hurt me?'

Guy looked at her sadly. 'I promise,' he said quietly. 'How long?'

'We met up after we came back from the Holy Land, but it wasn't like you think. Before we went away, before you and the Sheriff took me, I was betrothed to Robin.'

Guy let out a hollow laugh. 'You were lying to me even then.'

'Guy, you frightened me, I was a prisoner in the castle. You lied to me, you forced me to accept your proposal – twice! You burned down my house, threatened my father-'

'That was the Sheriff.'

'That doesn't make it ok!' She was furious, all Guy's past wrongs were flooding back, eroding her sympathy for her cheated husband. 'You went along with it. Then you let me think Robin was dead. When we got back I had to see him, to explain why I had ended up as Lady Gisborne. Because I did love him. But I was yours.'

'So you met him and then what?'

'It got out of hand,' she said quietly, casting her eyes downwards. 'I'm so sorry.'

'How many times?'

'What?'

'How many times did you and him . . .'

'I don't know, I wasn't keeping count.'

'But I was first?'

'Definitely. Come on, Guy. You know you were. You know. . .' Marian was remembering her wedding night, surely he couldn't think she had faked that.

'You're a good liar,' he hissed at her, 'so don't act so surprised.' Guy folded his arms across his chest and then put his head in his hands, leaning his elbows on his knees. She sat on the forest floor, waiting for him to continue.

'I thought that you liked . . . you wanted me. Did you prefer him?'

Marian knew what he meant. She wasn't going to answer these questions, have her intimacy with Robin laid bare. What was the answer anyway? True, she adored Robin, her times with Robin. If it hadn't been special she'd have hardly risked so much for it. But her time with Guy, well that had hardly been unpleasant. In fact it was the best thing about their relationship. He was right; she loved those nights, those times when she was close to Guy, overtaken by her needs, her want for him.

'No, I didn't prefer him. Not in the way you mean,' she finally answered, truthfully.

'Then why?'

'Because I wanted to marry Robin, I loved him and he is my best friend. I missed him and I was angry at you, for tricking me and for what you did for the Sheriff.'

'I didn't trick you!' Guy was distraught, she could see him working hard to keep a lid on his temper.

'You did! You wanted me so you took me anyway you could. You lied to me, or at least you didn't tell me everything.'

'But I love you,' Guy murmured, shaking his head, his tone suggesting this justified it all.

'I know you do. Guy, if we go away, if we leave Nottingham, will you ever be able to forgive me? Truly forgive me, because he didn't force me, you know this.'

'Marian,' Guy spoke slowly and carefully, 'you are the only person in the world who cares if I live or die. You are the only woman I have ever loved. I have thrown away everything for you. My position, my power, my sister, my home. You always were the only one for me, you are still the only chance I have.'

Marian wanted to answer, have a sharp retort, a clever counter. But there was nothing she could say to this. Here he was, laying down everything for her, despite her betrayal. She knelt between his legs, leaned in and gently kissed him. Then again, until he returned her kiss. She let him end it.

'We will need weapons and money,' she said, now thinking of practicalities, far less trying than emotions. 'For the journey, and horses. Can we still get to Locksley?'

'I don't know.' Guy answered with a small smile. He was happy, despite everything, because she was coming with him, leaving Nottingham and Robin. She had chosen him. 'I should have robbed the castle before I left. Prince John has piles of gold to bribe the nobles, so they will support his claim to the throne. As to Locksley, I think it is just Isabella there, she will not stop us. She helped me escape the castle, Marian. I thought she hated me, wanted me dead, but she helped me.'

'She helped me too, in Locksley. Isabella had never hated you Guy, she just wanted you to say sorry.'

'Why?'

Marian sighed, did he really not know?

'For selling her to a man who made her life hell!'

'But I didn't know. I did my best for her, she should have made it work.'

'Guy, do you really believe that?' Marian's tone was harsh. 'If you see her again, make amends. You might not get another chance.'

Guy said nothing, they looked at each other for a few moments. 'Look at me,' Marian finally said. 'Who am I to lecture you, after what I have done?'

'We have both done wrong. I have so many sins, my soul is stained, Marian. You are a good person, you always have been. I thought that you would wash away my sins, make me a new man. But I could never throw off the Sheriff.'

'I was never perfect, Guy. You and I are both sinners. And you have now thrown off the Sheriff and I am glad. For you and for Nottingham.'

'Marian, there is one more thing, something I want you to do for me.' Guy was agitated again, she cupped his face in her hands, stroking his cheek with her thumb to sooth him. She looked into his blue eyes, still bloodshot, but now shining with hope. Marian studied him and for the first time began to truly believe he could throw off the shackles of the Sheriff and be a man she could wholeheartedly love.

'If we go away, make a new life, if I forgive you and you forgive me . . .' He took a deep breath. 'I want you to have our children. I know you have been avoiding pregnancy, you know your body's rhythms well. I thought it was because of what I did, for the Sheriff, I now know it was him.' Guy's face darkened.

'It was both, I did not want to bring children into our marriage, as it was. We have both been beholden to others. Me to Robin and you to the Sheriff.'

'I did what I had to do!' Guy hit his forehead with his hand, knocking her hands away. 'I know I was wrong, I'm sorry.' Guy bowed his head. 'You do not want my children then?'

'I did not want anyone's children. I wanted to be free.' Marian blurted with honesty. She sighed, she had always wanted to be free, but there was also a growing part of her that longed for a baby. She always imagined she would give birth to Robin's children. That wasn't to be. Her baby would be a little Gisborne. She put her hand gently under Guy's chin to make him look at her, his rough stubble scratching her fingers. 'But if you can forgive me, after what I have done, then I will bear your children.'

'Do you mean that?'

'Yes.'

Guy slipped his arms around her waist, then suddenly let go.

'You're lying, you will run off with Hood as soon as he returns. How do I know you mean it?' His voice was harsh, angry.

'I promise I choose you. I choose our family, I promise I will be faithful.' Marian felt desperate, he would be like this forever, never trust her again.

'You promised that before, in a church, before God.'

'But this time I have a choice. I could stay, I could run off with Robin, married to you or not. But I choose you. Before I had no choice. If I hadn't married you the Sheriff would have killed me. I didn't love you-'

'I knew it,' Guy said, his voice choked, he made to stand. 'You never will, I am a fool.' Marian pushed him back and cut him off.

'I didn't love you then, but now, things have changed. My feelings have changed.'

'You still love him,' Guy accused.

Marian sighed. 'I do not deny it, but listen, Guy.' She grabbed his shoulders, so much stronger than hers, but held him firm. 'My feelings for you have grown so much, I care for you, more than ever,' Marian took a deep breath. 'I love you, Guy.' She looked him in eyes and watched as he took in her words. 'I love you,' Marian repeated slowly, letting every word sink in.

Guy threw his arms around her, held her tight.

'I love you too, Marian, I always have.'

Marian and Guy sat in silence for a long time, listening to the trickle of the stream and the chorus of birdsong. It was a comfortable silence, they had both sinned, both betrayed, both needed forgiveness, both needed to forgive. It wouldn't be easy, but Marian had to try. Try to honour her marriage and the man she had wed. He needed her and in a strange way she needed him. He had his arm around her, holding her close. She was still shocked by what he had done – killing the Sheriff – but for the first time felt real hope for Guy, no longer clutching at straws, but truly believing he could be a better man. He was her Guy now and she would be his Marian. They wouldn't belong to other people anymore. Her heartbreak for Robin was still to come, she knew that. But she would have to endure it as her punishment. She couldn't bear to think of Robin, that would be too much, she would have to forget his grief, pretend that his ideals, friends and people would replace her. Pretend that he would find love again.

'Marian,' Guy finally spoke, 'we should go to Locksley before sundown, get horses and money.' He stroked Marian's hair and laughed gently. 'I should have robbed Prince John's money when I had the chance, I am an outlaw now after all.'

Marian smiled at that. 'Pity there's no way we can get back in. I'd love to put a stop to John's plans before we go.'

'You could sneak up the tunnel in your Nightwatchman's mask,' Guy said with a smile. He was trying to be kind, humorous even, desperately trying to be normal. 'With my sword and your sneaking we'd best even Robin Hood himself.' Guy's lightness dried up as he spoke Robin's name. Marian said nothing.

Her mind was whirring, the idea was appealing, daring. What had she said long ago?'Something to make me more comfortable in my marriage.'This was it, there were hundreds of crowns in the castle, perhaps more. Enough for her and Guy and the people of Nottingham, all locked in the castle just waiting to be stolen. And the tunnel Guy spoke of, what was this?

'Guy, what tunnel?'

'There's a tunnel. From the old church yard, right in to the castle. It's secret, that doesn't really matter now though.'

'You kept it a secret, even from me?'

Guy gave Marian a scathing look.

'That's rich coming from you!'

'I'm sorry,' she said immediately regretting her hypocrisy. 'Tell me about the tunnel.'

'When the Sheriff returned from his failed mission in the Holy Land he became paranoid about reprisals. He ordered a secret escape tunnel, which I built. No-one knows about it, except me and him. And he is dead.'

'What about the diggers?'

Guy paused, there was a heavy silence. 'They were silenced.'

Marian said nothing. She knew what this meant, she wanted to run away from him, the monster who had slaughtered innocent labourers. She felt sick.

'I'm sorry,' he rasped, his voice constricting.

'You killed them?'

Guy didn't speak, he hung his head in shame. She stood up and took a deep breath.

'I knew you'd leave,' he mumbled.

Marian threw her head back in frustration. 'I am not leaving!' she cried. She meant it, Guy's past crimes sickened her. They wouldn't go away, she knew this. But she also knew he could change, with her at his side.

Marian saw the distant figures of Robin and his men approaching. 'I will not leave you and I will never betray you again, no matter what you have done. You have to trust me.'

Guy said nothing, he sat forlornly, contemplating his own wretchedness. Marian held her hand out to him. She suddenly felt a resolve, her inner strength returning. She would not let him sink into despair, she would not let him fall back and go through life filled with hatred, causing nothing but misery. Guy was not a strong person, he needed her and she would rise to it. She would also do one more thing for the people of Nottingham and her beloved Robin.

'I will stand at your side and you will make me proud, Guy. I have an idea.'

Guy took her hand and got to his feet as Robin came into clear view. As they stood beneath the branches, hands entwined, Marian's eyes sparkled with excitement, anticipation and daring not seen since her Nightwatchman's mask had been reduced to ashes. Marian had a plan.

To be continued . . .