(5)
One week from the day of her arrival in New Orleans, Kitty Russell rode with John Chapman to St. Catherine's Hospital. John took her to his office and told her to wait while he conferred with the obstetrician he wished her to see. When he returned he beckoned her to follow him. As they walked down the corridors of the hospital he explained a little about the doctor.
"His name is Professor Dr. Gerhardt Pittlekow, he studied medicine at the University of Munich and came to the States with his daughter Adelheide shortly after the war. His manner is somewhat harsh, but he has a fine medical mind."
Professor Pittlekow met them at his office door. He was a big man with a balding head and bushy black beard. His voice was booming and his accent thick, his English interspersed with German, "Guttentag Frau Russell, Dokter Chapman has told me about your loss, as vell as your suspected schwangerschaft - pregnancy." She shook the doctor's hand, but said nothing. He continued. "Mine krankenpflegerin vill assist you in changing for the untersuchung. Vhen I am finished I vill discuss my findings with you."
The nurse was a short round woman who despite the bastion of a whale- boned corset still managed to jiggle with every step she took, she had a rosy cherub face and like the doctor she spoke with a German accent.
She explained everything as she assisted Kitty, "Now you vill take off de clothes und lay on de exam table, I put dis sheet on you … like so… und den Professor Pittlekow vill take a look, you vill not vorry, I stay wit you. He is good doktar, but he is not so gute at making das maedchen feel at ease."
The exam was embarrassing and uncomfortable and Kitty wished she was almost anywhere but where she was. He asked her numerous and personal questions all the while poking and prodding at her private parts. Finally he told her she could get dressed and he left the room. When she'd put her clothing back on the nurse directed her to the doctor's office. John Chapman was waiting for her. Sitting at his desk, the Professor took off his spectacles and studied her, his head tilted to the side before a hint of a smile crossed his stern features. "Sit down I vill tell you vat I have found. As you suspected you are vith kinder. You are going to have a baby. It is my opinion the birth will take place in late July or early August."
Up to that point she'd lived with a faint hope this had all been an extension of a horrible nightmare. There was a whooshing sound in her ears and a dark cloud floated in front of her eyes, she was on the verge of passing out and she knew it. She tried to concentrate on Professor Pittlekow but all she could hear was his verdict, `you are going to have a baby.'
"I vill want you to immediate start on a strict regimen - sleep ten hours a day, long valk twice a day. Meat, vegetables, fruit, und milk, you must drink much milk, it is vat das kleinkind need to grow. I vill vant to see you once a month, sooner if you have problems, pain, bleeding, svelling … anyting out of de ordinary. I understand you vill be staying wit Doktar Chapman during your confinement."
She nodded wanting more than anything to run from the room and out of this building and never stop until the demons of the Dog Soldiers had finally been outdistanced.
Professor Pittlekow's face hardened and he spoke with utmost seriousness, "Even in dis advanced age of medicine Frau Russell, death in or related to childbirth is high, infant mortality even higher. You are old to bear first kinder, your body has been through obvious trauma, I can not guarantee your well-being, and vill not take on your case unless you agree to follow my orders."
Her face was set in panic but she would have said anything, done anything to get away from there. "Yes, I agree." she answered.
"Sehr gute."
She was quiet on the way back to Mayhaw, hidden behind the layers of black cloth veiling; Chapman couldn't tell what she was feeling. He tried several times to initiate a conversation without success. As he helped her down from the buggy he said, "I'd like to talk with you in my study, if you need to take a few minutes in your room to compose yourself I will understand."
There was a flatness to her voice that he didn't recognize, "No, what ever you have to say, I'm ready to hear it."
"Fine." He led the way to his office; a lovely mahogany walled room lined with bookshelves. A large bay window looked out on one of the estate's Mayhaw orchards. "Sit down Kitty, I'll ask Zebulon to bring us something to drink." The room was like a greenhouse, rays of morning sun shown through the glass.
She'd forgotten just how warm New Orleans could be even in winter. She removed her gloves and bonnet waiting for Chapman to play his hand.
Zebulon came in with the tray; John thanked him and waited until he'd left shutting the door behind him.
She turned to him and squared her shoulders, "Say it John."
"Matt Dillon cares deeply for you. Are you sure you don't want him to know about your condition, I can't imagine him not wanting to be with you during a time like this. I can send a telegram to Dodge City today."
Her life was in turmoil, but this was the one thing she knew for sure, "I don't want Matt to know."
"It's going to be difficult, a woman alone with a child. You can't go back to the saloon with a baby. I've been thinking - Kitty, we've always gotten along well …"
She interrupted him, "No John."
"I'm not asking you to make any decisions right now, think about it, consider the options. We could have a good life together …"
Her voice started out soft, apologetic, "I don't love you John … at least not in that way. More importantly I don't love this child. I don't want this child … the very thought of it makes me sick." In the blink of an eye, the softness left Kitty Russell, "I want an abortion."
"Kitty … you can't be serious."
"I am dead serious. The way I see it, I'll be doing the world a favor."
"You're forgetting this child is blood of your blood …" He'd never imagined her this way, so filled with hate.
"If I had a cancerous growth, you wouldn't think twice about cutting it out … as far as I'm concerned that is what I'm carrying." Her lips curled away from her teeth, and her face turned ugly, "I want you to cut it out. If you care anything about me, John you'll do this."
He shook his head, "Abortion is no longer legal in Louisiana, and if it were, I'd be morally against it."
She glared at him in disbelief, "Even in a case like this?"
"Yes."
She was shaking with anger, but her voice was strong, fierce, without tremor, "Can't you understand, I was raped … not once but many times and by so many men I lost count. Let me tell you, I can still smell their nauseating stench, and hear their filthy words and the sound that came deep from in their throats … like animals as they drove into me. You have the nerve to speak to me of morals?" She took a deep breath and closed her eyes, "If you won't do it, then give me a name, someone, anyone who'll get rid of this … this thing for me. I have money. I can pay whatever it takes."
"I know of no respected physician who would risk his license to perform an illegal operation." He moved closer to her taking her shoulders in his hands and forcing her to face him. "You're in shock right now my dear … you're heartsick and tired. I'd like to give you something so you might rest. I've found invariably things look better after a good sleep."
"I don't want to sleep, I have no use for dreams that can't come true and I won't change my mind." She pulled free of his hold and walked from the room with out looking back. John Chapman watched her leave, and then turned to look at the view from his window feeling powerless – impotent.
Though she couldn't admit it, she was at that point, incapable of rational thought. John was right when he said she was in shock, but her state of mind went deeper than the physical condition, she sat at the chair by the window rocking. Funny how a chair used to pacify can also be fueled by restless rage. The pace of the rocker didn't slow as Kitty tried to work through the confusion to a sane solution. She didn't notice at first until the voices became so loud they couldn't be ignored. From outside her door she heard angry words being exchanged by Renee and Annabelle. She slowed the chair to listen.
"I'm not your nigger girl, Mademoiselle Annabelle. In case you haven't heard we been freed, long time now. You can not make me do what I don't want to do. I can quit."
"Oh you can quit and good riddance to you, but if you do, I swear you'll not find an equal job for I'll let all the fine households know of your uppity attitude."
Without a knock her door opened, pushing her way into the room, Annabelle stormed in with Renée in tow. She poked her soft white finger at Kitty, "My stars, if I didn't have you figured right from the start Sugar. Why you're nothing but a refugee from the red light district. You're that saloon harlot my brother met on his little western adventure aren't you? Why the way he talked about you back then, I should have figured you'd show up with a mantrap. Your kind always does."
Kitty stood up, "What are you talking about?"
"I heard the conversation you had with my brother in his office. The sound from within is quite audible from just outside the door. He thinks he wants to marry you." She scoffed, "He wants to provide a home for your bastard child."
"You needn't worry, I told him `no' and I meant it. I have no wish to take over your responsibilities as the mistress of Mayhaw."
"It's not Mayhaw I'm concerned with, it's Randolph Boudry, he has far more money than my brother will ever see; marriage to him will guarantee me the social standing I deserve. Unfortunately, he is as much a fool as my brother. As long as you are in the picture, there is no hope for me."
"What do you want from me?"
"I want nothing from you except to have you leave New Orleans and never come back, to that purpose, I have arranged for someone to get rid of your little indiscretion. There is a woman located on Dumaine Street in the Vieux Carre, who performs the service you seek. She charges $100.00, which is expensive but I believe you will see it worth the price. You will tell my brother you have a sick headache and cannot attend the party at Mr. Boudry's home tonight, but you wish us to go ahead without you. After we are gone, Renee will take you to her."