Part 4
"Master, we have a visitor. It appears to be an old friend." Purple's voice came through the PA system. "I suggest you stop fooling around and take care of this pest."
"Fine! Dib, I have to go. It's urgent." Tak climbed out of the bed and slipped on a purple piece of negligée. She began to walk out the door.
"No, Tak, don't go! Please!" If any phrase could have sounded like it was begging on its knees, it was that, "please" of Dib's. "Who is this guy? Maybe I can help."
"Alright, Dib, you can come too. But put a robe on. He's not the kind of person who likes seeing people nude." Tak had stopped at the door, waiting for Dib to pull his robe around his shoulders.
Professor Membrane was standing in the laboratory. Red was keeping him from touching anything and destroying Tak's work. Purple was doing his best to get the professor out of the castle. The two homosexual servants were just about to throttle the stuck-up scientist when Dib and Tak came in. "Dad? What are you doing here?" Dib asked, calling attention to himself yet again. He had forgotten that he was only wearing a robe, and that standing next to him was a green woman in lingerie.
"Son, what are you doing here? I suggest you leave immediately; this is important business I need to conduct. Wait, why are you only dressed in that robe?" Professor Membrane asked. Before Dib could answer, a loud moan could be heard from the peculiar fishtank that was attached to the machine that had brought Zim to life.
"What was that?" Tak asked out loud. As if in response, Gaz and Zim, Gaz holding a blanket to her chest, stood from their positions within the glass box.
"Gaz!" Dib shouted.
"Dib!" She shouted back.
"Gaz!" Membrane shouted.
"Dad!" Gaz shouted back.
"Zim!" Tak shouted. Zim turned his head and glared at her.
"Gaz!" Dib shouted again.
"Dib!" Gaz shouted back.
"Gaz!" Membrane shouted again.
"Dad!" Gaz shouted back.
"Zim!" Tak shouted again. Zim scowled at Tak.
"Gaz!" Dib shouted.
"Dib!" She shouted back.
"Gaz!" Membrane shouted.
"Dad!" Gaz shouted back.
"Zim!" Tak shouted. Zim squinted menacingly at her.
"What are you doing with him?" Dib yelled at Gaz. She blinked and glared back.
"Well, what were you doing with that…that…TRAMP!" Gaz wasn't very clear on the true meaning of that word, but it sounded good. "She's been lying to us this whole time! She didn't create Zim, he crashed here. They're all aliens! Dib, call those Swollen people you keep talking about! Then we can go home and leave this all behind!" Zim looked at her, nearly crying. She wants to leave me? But…I thought…She… Zim couldn't even think straight.
"I'm shocked, Zim. I made you! And I can break you just as easily!" Tak reprimanded Zim. She tapped a pointed finger on his chest; firm and sharp, like the fire that had flared up in her eyes.
"This still doesn't answer my question. Dib, why are you only wearing a robe?" Despite being a world-famous scientist, Membrane was fairly dense.
"Really, Dad? You haven't pieced that together? I just did Tak! Of course, you're so unobservant that you would never notice something like that." Tak licked her lips with her long, striped, serpentine tongue.
"Y-you want to…leave? Even after…?" Zim choked, referring to Gaz. "B-but I thought…" He couldn't get the words right.
"Son, I cannot believe that you would open yourself to this…this… 'horny be-otch', for lack of a better word." Membrane shouted at his son. He tried to look empowered, but failed in every respect.
"What? Oh, Zim, no. I didn't mean it like that! I just figured that, maybe, you could come with us, or something…" Gaz's face flushed, not realizing that the hot alien next to her might take it the wrong way.
"You! Stop! He's mine!" Tak shouted. It was unclear whether she was yelling at Gaz or Professor Membrane.
"Well, believe it! I'm older than you think I am! You never spent any time with me, or Gaz. When mom died, you just kept curing diseases and inventing. You don't care, you never cared! I'm not your son, Professor Membrane. Not anymore. I'm tired of having to be the adult in the family when you're always gone!" This monologue was very unexpected, coming from Dib. Even he was shocked; it was as if Gaz had momentarily possessed him.
"Dinner has been prepared." Red's voice came over the PA system, flat and bored. Everyone glared at everyone else as MiMi led them to the dining hall.
The air was tense at the table. Red, Purple, and MiMi were serving the food, flourishing about with their arms in an attempt to lighten the mood. They failed miserably.
Dib cast Membrane an angered look from under his brow. The professor hardly noticed. Gaz noticed the whole thing in shocked silence, wondering when her brother had gotten angsty. Tak just seemed mad. Her "creation" hated her, her plaything was angry with her biggest enemy, who was also his father, and her servants were all preoccupied with something else, at least mentally. Tak hung her head in quiet submission, plotting to kill them all when she got the chance. As an afterthought, she called her servants to bring some special supplies. Red and Purple passed out paper kazoos while MiMi put conical hats on everyone's heads. "Happy Birthday, to you! Happy Birthday, to you! Happy birthday, dear Zimmy! Happy Birthday, to you!" Tak applauded and blew her little kazoo, trying to keep her lies in place. No one else joined in, quickly killing the mood.
"It's not my birthday." Zim muttered. He slowly began to pick at the food on his plate. Gaz placed a hand on his shoulder, trying to be comforting. Zim shrugged it off.
"This is an excellent dinner, Dr. Frankenfurter. It almost reminds me of that one household robot that I built a few years ago. His official name was an acronym, G.I.R. I preferred to call him 'Eddie', though. He was like the son I never had." Membrane sighed at his memories, the fork that had been thrown from Dib's hand just missing his head. "Yes, I still carry a few pictures around so that I can remember him. He ran away, though. My assistants all claimed that he was defective. Poor boy…" Membrane pulled out a large scrapbook. Music started to play.
From the day he was born,
He was trouble.
He was deformed,
On his mother's side.
She tried, in vain,
But it never caused her nothing but shame.
He left home the day she died.
Strangely enough, this description fitted Dib almost perfectly.
From the day she was gone,
All he wanted,
Was rock and roll on,
And a motor-bike.
"Shooting up junk"
He was a low-down cheap little punk!
Taking everyone for a ri-de!
When Eddie said he didn't like his teddy,
You knew he was a no-good kid.
And when he traded his bike,
For a switchblade knife!
What a guy,
Makes you cry,
And I did!
MiMi's singing could be heard in the distance.
Everybody shoved him,
I very nearly loved him,
I said," Hey, listen to me,
Be sane inside insanity!"
But he locked the door and threw away the key!
Membrane continued;
But he must have been drawn,
Into something,
Making him warn,
Me, in a note which reads,
(Gaz and Dib: What's it say, what's it say, what's it say?)
A creepy Gir ghost voice began singing.
I'm outta my head!
Oh, hurry, for I may be dead!
They mustn't carry out their evil scheme!
Ahhhhhhhhh!
When Eddie said he didn't like his teddy,
You knew he was a no-good kid.
And when he traded his bike,
For a switchblade knife!
What a guy,
Makes you cry,
And I did!
When Eddie said he didn't like his teddy,
You knew he was a no-good kid.
And when he traded his bike
For a switchblade knife!
What a guy,
(La, la, la, la)
Makes you cry,
(La, la, la, la)
And I did.
At that moment, Tak yanked the tablecloth from under the place settings, revealing the table to actually be a glass coffin. Inside this coffin, clearly visible, were the broken remains of Gir. The metal was bent in many places; oil leaked everywhere; wires crackled with electricity; one eye was broken, while the other flickered as if he were still alive somehow. MiMi, who had reappeared somehow, screamed for the third time since Gaz and Dib visited.
"It's a pity, really. Gir should have known to not get in my way." Tak half-muttered. Everyone shot her a different look; Dib's was the only one of understanding. He'd been crazy before, in all honesty he probably still was. It takes amazing willpower to keep from acting on the voices in your head.
"Y-you…k-k-killed him? Eddie? B-but, he was… he was like… like… my son." Membrane tugged at the edge of his goggles, letting the tears empty out. Dib weighed the steak knife he had in his hand, eventually deciding that it was too heavy to throw.
MiMi sobbed and dashed off, obviously stricken with grief. Gaz felt her heart strings snapping at the little robot's display of affection. A tin can has more feeling than I do! Zim must feel horrible about this…
"Gir?" Zim asked, crouching over the glass coffin. "You can't be dead…you can't be…no…don't worry…she'll pay, with interest… I'll miss you." He let his head drop to the surface of the glass, his antenna twitching over the top, as if to detect any remaining sounds that his only friend was alive. Gaz slid her hand over Zim's shoulders, trying to comfort with that simple action. Zim turned and wept into her neck, shuddering.
"She will pay, Zim. She'll pay for killing Gir and hurting you." Gaz kept her voice at a soothing whisper, slowly stroking Zim along his back. Gaz didn't know much about being nice, having had to seal away her emotions when she was younger. But seeing Zim so…vulnerable… It broke her heart like a porcelain vase. Just for that, Gaz was going to send Tak into a nightmare world of no waking where she would have rather had rabid weasels teleported into her head instead of killing Gir. Oh yes, when Gaz is concerned, there's hell to pay.
Membrane flew at Tak's throat, clearly mad about Gir's murder. Cries of, "He was my son!" and, "I'll kill you for this!" could be heard over the clatter of broken dishes and spilt food they had landed in. Dib sprang forward to save his alien lover, flinging a few punches and sharp pieces of plateware into his forgetful father's face. Membrane stumbled back, clutching a small scratch on his cheek. Dib protectively wrapped his arms around Tak, pulling his back to Membrane. The paranormal investigator couldn't save Tak from the sharp left hook from Zim, however. Dib sprang into the fray, fists flying. The two battled it out, almost as though they were born enemies. Tak and Membrane stumbled out of the way, Membrane clutching his cheek wound. Gaz drew her well-manicured fingernails across Tak's face, drawing blood. Tak responded with an uppercut to Gaz's midsection. Zim kicked Dib in a certain area that's been receiving a lot of attention. Dib threw some random discarded food in Zim's general direction, but his aim was off because of the pain he was experiencing. It landed in Gaz's hair.
Red and Purple rolled their eyes. In Purple's hand was a large ray gun like device. In one swift motion, he fired. All present were petrified, clothing was disintegrated in the bright flash of light. Thunder rolled on outside.