Thanks, as usual, for all the reviews and adds to alerts and favorites, for this and my other stories, as well. I recognize a lot of your names on all my stories! You all rock!
Also, thank you, Northwoman! As usual, you were speedy and efficient and a great help to me in shaping up this chapter! I absolutely love your help and opinions!
Oh, any mistakes are mine! I just can't stop myself from changing it up sometimes after my mistakes have been corrected!
Eric's POV
On my way home from Sookie's, things couldn't have felt more perfect, but the closer I got to home, the more the feeling of perfection began to worry me. Both of our lives were about to change in a very big way and it just didn't sit well with me. Not the fact that our lives were changing, but the fact that I was being so calm about all of it. I was not a calm guy, by any means, especially when it came to change, and I had prescriptions for both Klonopin and Xanax to prove it.
When I got home, I took Killer out and then headed straight for my medicine cabinet. My Klonopin was empty, so I made a mental note to get it refilled and went for the Xanax instead. I was a complete and total mess. I mean, only I, Eric Northman, could be so worried about being not worried, that I was about to lose it and have a full blown panic attack. I was very hopeful that the Xanax would do its job before it came to that.
Killer and I curled up in my bed and I flipped on the TV in an attempt to relax. I was a bit of a night owl. I tended to take naps in the afternoon and stay up late. Despite the fact that I hadn't had a nap today, I was too amped up to sleep.
The Xanax was doing little to calm me so finally, I decided to call Pam. She was one of the few people I could allow myself to open up to and she always had a way of making me chill. She answered on the third ring.
"Hello," she mumbled groggily.
"Hey Pam," I said.
"Baby Brother, do you know what time it is?" she asked snootily. She was my twin and I loved her, but damn she was a bitch!
"Pam, I'm sorry, but I didn't know who else to call. I'm really freaking out here."
"Eric, what's going on? Are you okay? Now, I'm freaking out."
"That's just it, Pam. I'm fine. Everything feels perfect. The problem is that it shouldn't. Everything in my life is about to change big time and I'm not the least bit worried. I'm fucking cool as a cucumber and you know that's not right. I fucking hate change and I should be about to lose it right now, which I am, but not because of the changes, because I'm not worried."
"Oh. My. God, Eric. Did I get all the mental stability genes mom and dad had to offer? Are you really calling me at one in the morning to tell me that you're worried about not being worried?"
"Pam, if you'd let me finish you'd understand," I begged. I knew she was pissed and about to hang up on me.
"Fine," she huffed. "But I'm warning you, I reserve the right to talk to Dr. Lee about upping the dosages on your meds if I feel it's necessary."
"Fuck you, Pam! I called you because I need your help and you are going to make fun of my issues. That's really fucked up, Pam!" I shouted.
"Eric, I'm sorry. I know that was mean, but I'm serious. Just think about what you just told me. It sounded crazy and besides, I worry about you. Now, tell me what's got you so upset, baby brother."
"You know how Sookie and I have been seeing each other?" I asked.
"I do. Everything's okay with you two, right?"
"Yeah, things are wonderful," I said dreamily, "but you know we weren't telling anyone about us, right?"
"Uh, yeah, of course. I mean, I think I've told you it was stupid a dozen or so times," she said sarcastically.
"Well, we've decided to tell everyone," I said.
"That's great, but I really don't see how that's a huge change in your life. I guess, it will cause some changes, but it's hardly something you need to be going to crazy-town over," she said laughing.
"Actually, it's more than just that," I said nervously. "She's pregnant."
"Eric, that's great!" she shouted. "I'm going to be an auntie!"
"Pam!" I growled interrupting her revelry. Desperately, I continued, "I'm not nervous or scared at all. I'm going to be a dad and I'm not nervous. It's fucking freaking me out! I feel like I should be scared shitless."
"Eric, I think you just need to eat a nerve pill and chill the fuck out. You've always loved kids and I know for a fact that you've always wanted to be a dad. Remember, how you used to play with my dolls?" she laughed.
I definitely remembered, but didn't think it was worth commenting on. After a brief silence she continued, "This is a really good thing and there is no reason for you to be worried. You have a good job and can support a family, and from what you've told me, you really care a lot about Sookie. To me, your situation sounds totally perfect for you. You shouldn't be worried at all. You should be happy, no, you should be ecstatic because to me it sounds like all your dreams are coming true."
"Thanks, Pam," I said smiling. She was right. Actually, she was usually right, but I would never tell her that. It would just go to her head.
"Baby brother, I love you, but can I go to sleep now?" she asked. "I have to be up in three hours."
"Yeah, I'm sorry I called so late. I love you, Pam. I'll talk to you later," I said as I hung up the phone.
Pam's POV
I couldn't help but worry about Eric after he called me. He sounded so freaked out when he'd first called. I knew all too well how much he hated change and what it could do to him. He'd always had a huge aversion to change and whenever even the smallest change occurred he would freak out and get all emotional about it and sometimes even have panic attacks.
Growing up, I was always labeled as strong and outgoing, where Eric was always considered to be sensitive and shy. He always wore his heart on his sleeve and he severely lacked self confidence when it came to dealing with people in a social setting. I guess for those reasons he tended to be a little closed off.
He'd always been a bit of a loner, not that he didn't have friends, but he never really truly opened up to anyone, but me, at least not until he met Sookie. It really surprised me how quickly he opened up and let her in. It was very unlike him. He was always very shy, especially with new people. It always took a while for him to break out of his shell.
In college, when we'd go out we'd always have a great time. All the girls loved him, even though he was quite backward and bashful with them. It always took a few drinks, but once he had a buzz, he'd quickly become the life of the party and quite the lady's man. Without the alcohol, however, he would go right back to being quiet and shy.
After he and Thalia broke up, when I found him, he was severely depressed, un-kept, and had lost a lot of weight. I was pretty sure he hadn't left his house in nearly a month and based upon my best guestimate, of the age of the numerous rotting takeout containers scattered throughout his house, I'd say it had been a while since he'd eaten, as well.
I'd seen him quite upset and down on himself a lot over the years, but I'd never seen him that low, ever. I was really worried and it was then that I realized that all the sensitivity, shyness, and lack of self-esteem was possibly something else entirely.
After much debate on his part, I finally talked him into seeing a shrink. It didn't take many visits with his doctor before he was diagnosed with and prescribed medication for anxiety and depression. Once he started his medication he was like a better version of his old self.
He was still a little shy and closed off to people and still super-sensitive, but he was more driven and much more confident, which suited him. His new found confidence and drive led him to realize and work toward his goal of becoming a principal.
He'd achieved that dream and now he was attaining the next; being a father, which was another one of his life's goals and I couldn't have been happier for him or for myself; spoiling my niece or nephew was going to be so much fun! He'd always loved kids and after what happened with Thalia he was crushed, but I always knew one day, he'd find someone to make his dreams come true.
My clock going off pulled me out of my thoughts. "It's four fucking A. M. already! Fucking shit!" I shouted quietly, even though there was nobody around to disturb.
I picked up my cell phone to call and leave a message for Russell. Russell Eddington was a hot and new up-and-coming fashion designer, a major hit during the last New York Fashion Week, and you guessed it, gay as hell! He was not only my partner in business, but my best girlfriend. Going out with him was actually just as fun as going out with Eric, but even better because with Russell, I had no competition.
When his voicemail picked up, I said, "Russell, darling, this is Pam. I don't have anything on the agenda until my casting meeting, for the models for your spring line, which isn't until this afternoon. I'm feeling a bit under the weather this morning, so I will see you then," I said then I ended the call.
I set my clock for ten then rolled over and went back to sleep, thinking I'd call Eric later to check on him.
Sookie's POV
I seriously thought I was going to die and there was no way in hell I was making carpool duty. I'd never been so sick in my entire life. I was lying on my bathroom floor, the cool tile against my cheek, curled into a ball next to the toilet. I'd been in there for at least an hour and I was waiting patiently for the rest of the fried pickles I'd eaten the night before to come back up. I knew they would. They were so much better on the way down, I thought, as I felt myself about to start vomiting again.
Here they come, I thought, as I quickly sat up and lay my head against the seat of the toilet, preparing to get rid of the remaining pickles that were in my stomach. I was not going to eat those again for a long, long time. That I was definitely sure of.
As I coughed and gagged, I heard a light rapping at my bathroom door, then a very concerned Hunter's voice, "Sookie, you okay?" he asked.
"Yeah sweetie, I'm fine," I said between heaves as I tried to sound cheerful. "I'm just a little sick to my stomach this morning; that's all. I'll be out in a minute."
I was really glad he'd gotten up on his own. That was at least one less thing I had to worry about this morning.
"Sweetie, do you think you can get yourself ready?" I asked then retched some more. "I need to make a few calls and get you some breakfast." If I can ever get away from this toilet, I thought.
"Uh huh," he said. "You sure you're okay?" He sounded really concerned.
"Yeah, baby. I'll be out in a minute," knowing that the few times I'd had morning sickness before, it didn't last long and hoping that even though this time was much, much worse than those times, that it would be over soon.
Eric's POV
The morning flew by and to my surprise was actually quite relaxed. I must admit, it was a bit disconcerting when I approached the main office this morning to find several teachers standing around and whispering, only to scatter as I walked through the door, like I didn't notice what they were doing before, I mean, come on, the wall was made of glass, but I guess that was to be expected given the circumstances. Other than the constant whispers and stares, nothing really happened and before I knew it, it was time for lunch.
I headed to the cafeteria and as soon as I got in line for my lunch Hunter ran over to me, lunch tray in hand and said, "Eric, I mean, Principal Northman, are you still coloring with me after school today?"
He was so excited to color with me, which made me very happy. He seemed to like me and that was a very good thing since he came with the whole Sookie package, plus, he was just a really cool kid.
"I sure am," I said smiling.
"Good, cause Sookie's sick, so I don't think she'll be any fun."
"Sookie's sick?" I asked concerned. He nodded, so I said, "Hunter, you better go eat before your lunch gets cold and I better get back to work."
"Okay, Principal Northman. I'll see you after school."
"I'll see you then, little man," I said as I got out of line and went straight to my office to call Sookie. I just had to make sure she was okay.
"Hey beautiful," I said when she picked up. "I just talked to Hunter and he said you were sick. Is everything alright?" I asked concerned.
"I'm fine, Eric," she said, but before she could continue I interrupted her.
"If you need me to, I can leave work and come take care of you."
"Eric, no! I said I'm fine. I was sick this morning. You know ... morning sickness," she whispered the words "morning sickness". "I'm fine now. I'm at work." Ah, now the whispering made sense.
"I'm sorry to bother you if you're working, but I was just worried when Hunter said you were sick. If you're busy, I won't keep you. I was just about to eat lunch anyway before I saw Hunter," I said. I hoped she didn't think I was being too overprotective, but if she needed me I wanted her to know I was there for her; for anything.
"Oh, well I definitely don't want to keep you from your lunch," she laughed, "but I'm not that busy right now, so if you want to talk for a minute we can.
"Sookie, you can keep me from my lunch any time," I said as I wiggled my eyebrows and smirked.
"Why do I get the feeling you are wiggling your eyebrows and that you have that sexy, little, evil grin on your face?" she asked, still laughing.
"You know me too well, Lover. I can't wait to see you this evening. I miss you," I said and I meant it.
"Hey Errrric?" she said dreamily.
"Hey whaaaat?" I asked mimicking the way she drew out my name.
"You said if I was sick you would leave early to take care of me?"
"Of course I would, Sookie. You're my girlfriend," I said, then lowered my voice to a whisper, just in case anyone could possibly overhear as I continued, "and you're pregnant, with my child. It's my job to take care of both of you. And Hunter, too, if the two of you will let me," I added.
"Well, what would you say if I told you that I will be home from work no later than two o'clock and I'll be in the house all alone until Hunter gets home at three fifteen?" she asked innocently.
I saw right through her game. Playfully, I said, "Wow, that's a long time for you to sit at home all alone. Maybe if you asked your boss, he'd let you stay and work an extra hour."
"Eric!" she chided.
I laughed and continued, "Sookie, just text me when you're leaving work. I see no reason why I can't get out of here a little early. I rarely miss work and they have my cell if any issues should arise."
"Okay, I'll see you when I get off, then."
"Oh, Sookie, of course you will. I wouldn't have it any other way," I said then laughed, "You're turning red now; aren't you, Lover?"
"Now, who knows who, too well?" She laughed, then asked, "You're doing that eyebrow thing again aren't you?"
"You are too good, Lover. I'll see you in a little bit."
At precisely one thirty-eight, I received a text from Sookie which said, En route. I grabbed my things and headed straight for Sookie's, texting her, Me 2, as I pulled out of the parking lot. Selah, the school secretary, agreed to work hall duty and to call if anything out of the ordinary arose.
Ten minutes later I was knocking on Sookie's door, but she wasn't answering. Her car was there, so after a few more knocks, figuring she was expecting me, I tried the knob. The door was open so I went on in.
When I found her she was in her hall bathroom, praying to the porcelain god. I felt so bad for her, to have to go through that and I wished there was something I could do.
"Sookie, baby, are you okay?" I asked as I gently ran my fingertips along her back.
"I'm fine," she said then gagged and heaved, then said, "washcloth," as she pointed to the closet.
"Do you want me to wet it?" I asked. She nodded. "Hot or cold, baby?"
"Cold," she managed to utter between heaves.
I got two wash clothes and I wet them both. I handed her one to do with as she pleased and I moved her ponytail and placed the other on the back of her neck. As she continued to vomit, I held her, rubbed her back and continued to tell her she'd be okay.
As I held her and comforted her, I came to a huge realization. In that moment, I knew without a doubt in my mind, I wanted to be there to help her through her pregnancy every single step of the way. I wanted to experience it all with her; everything from being sick to the babies first kick and I knew the only way I could do that was if we lived in the same house.
"Sookie," I said at the completely wrong moment, "I want us to live together."
I knew I should've kept my mouth shut when Sookie said, "Eric ... later ... we'll talk about it later," in mid-puke. And she didn't seem happy.
By the time Sookie was feeling better, Danielle was pulling in the driveway with Hunter, so for the next several hours, adult talk was off limits. The three of us colored until my stomach growled and Sookie giggled, "I guess that means it's time for me to cook dinner."
"Well, I never got lunch today," I said smiling.
"I wonder why that was?" she asked.
I scowled and then suggested, "How about I take us all out to dinner?"
"Eric," Sookie chided. "I can cook. I'll have something whipped up in jiffy."
Ah, my own personal Donna Reed, I thought to myself. "As good as that sounds, and believe me it sounds very good, let's just go out. Come on, Sookie, it will be fun."
"Well, okay, I guess it wouldn't hurt."
I took them to McDonalds because it was close and they had indoor Ronald's Playland. I was fine with hanging out with Hunter and I felt it was important to get to know him because in my mind I could potentially be the closest thing to a father that he'd ever have, but Sookie and I had entirely too much to discuss and most of it was things that he didn't need to hear.
Once we'd eaten, and he'd gone off to play I decided to try again. "Sookie, I want us to live together. I want to be with you through every step of this. If I'm in Shreveport and you're in Bon Temps, I can't."
"Eric, you can be here for me without us living together."
"No, Sookie, I can't. Not the way I want to be. If you wake up sick, I want to be there. If the baby moves, I want to be there. I don't want to miss anything and I don't want you to go through this alone. Please, Sookie, let me be there for you," I begged, then desperately added, "I'll marry you, if that is what you want ... I will."
"Eric, stop! she chided. We're not going to live together and we certainly aren't getting married. We don't even love each other. Are you crazy?"
"Yes, Sookie, I am. If wanting to be there for you means I'm crazy then I am. Sookie, I can't tell you I love you, because I don't yet, but I am falling in love with you and it is growing stronger every single day. I can guarantee you that soon, I will be able to tell you that I love you, but that doesn't even matter. What matters is that this," I said pointing between us, "us, what we have, it feels so right. I know that I'm meant to be with you, Sookie. Please, just let me," I said desperately.
"Eric, it's just all so fast," she said solemnly.
"I know, but can you deny any of what I just said? I know you feel it, too."
"Eric ...."
"Sookie, please," I begged one last time.
"Eric, we can't," she said as she shook her head. "Not yet. Let's just give it a little more time," she said smiling. "And I do feel it." I leaned in and kissed her chastely. "You know, if you really want to be here, you could go with me to my doctor's appointment next week."
"Of course, I would love to. When is it?" I asked smiling.
"Next Wednesday at ten," she replied.
"Sookie, I can't go," I said nervously because I knew she was going to ask me why. We both knew that there was no school starting Monday.
"There's no school that day. Why can't you go?" she asked. She seemed hurt and confused.
I contemplated lying and telling her I was leaving town for the holidays, but I was hoping to spend the holidays with her, besides, I couldn't lie to her anyway. I was going to have to tell her sooner or later, but I just didn't think it would be like this and I really hoped she didn't think badly of me, that I was some sort of crazy person, after she knew the truth.