I had planned on this happening one way and then all of the sudden, when I shouldn't have even been thinking about it, I got this idea and ran with it, hence the early chapter.
I do want to give credit where credit is due here and not just my normal disclaimer that I give for most of my chapters about Charlaine Harris owning everything. Two people strongly influenced and were practically quoted in two lines in this story. I'm not going to say exactly what lines since they were things they said to me in personal messages, they will know what they are when they read the chapter, but know that some of what I wrote belongs to them. Also, there is an actual quote from an actual book in there; it's not mine either.
The first is Northwoman, my beta. Something Eric thought was actually something she told me in an email she sent me and it just happened to work perfectly into this story. I'd also like to thank her for her quick work and kind words as my beta! As always she totally rocks!
The second was something that Pam said to Sookie and I'd like to give hearttorn props for that. The way she worded what she said in the pm she sent me was magnificent and when it came to a point where I needed to say something similar, I couldn't help, but use her words.
The last is Green Eggs and Ham, by Dr. Suess. I did used to write children's stories when I was younger, but I'm no Dr. Suess!
Before I get to the chapter, I do need to fess up! I messed up! I made both Sookie's and Eric's doctors, Dr. Ludwig. I realized it a couple of days after I posted the last chapter and have since modified Eric's doctor in the last chapter, so don't think I'm crazy when you see a different doctor's name in this chapter!
Any mistakes are mine, as usual!
Eric's POV
Some people needed allergy or blood pressure medication to be normal, I needed anti-depressants and anti-anxiety medications to be normal. It really wasn't a big deal. I tried to convince myself, but it wasn't working. Who was I kidding? I was terrified that she'd think I was nuts.
I knew I'd eventually have to tell her, but I didn't want to tell her at McDonalds, of all places. I mean, what was I supposed to say? "Hey baby, I have to take a pill every day so I won't freak out, lock myself in my house, or contemplate suicide; now, how about a Big Mac or maybe a hot apple pie?" Fuck, I was so screwed.
"Eric," she said, "What is it?" I could see the concern written all over her face.
"Sookie," I said nervously, "I want to tell you why I can't go with you, I just don't think McDonalds is the proper place to talk about it."
"Uh, Eric, you're kind of freaking me out right now," she said.
"I'm sorry, baby. That's the last thing I wanted to do. It's just that I have a doctor's appointment at the same time as yours. It's no big deal and I might even be able to reschedule it," I said hoping that she wouldn't think it was a big deal once I told her what the appointment was for, "but, it's kind of personal, so I just don't want to get into it here," I said as I lifted her hands to my lips and gently kissed them.
"Eric, are you okay? You're not sick are you?"
"I'm fine, Sookie," I assured her, "I promise you, I'll tell you all about it later, when we can be alone. Please don't worry."
Sookie's POV
Eric had told me not to worry and I agreed not to, but of course, that was exactly what I did; the entire way home and then I had to wait almost two more hours until it was time for Hunter to go to bed. By the time nine o'clock came, I was nothing more than a big ball of nerves.
"Sweetie," I said, "you've got school tomorrow, it's time for you to go to bed."
As he sat in the middle of a pile of toy cars, he looked up at me begging with his big brown eyes and said, "Eric has to go to school, too and he doesn't have to go to bed. Can I stay up with him? Please."
I knew I shouldn't have, but I couldn't help but laugh, "Sweetie, Eric's older than you, so he doesn't need as much rest and he's going to go home soon, anyway."
"I don't want him to leave. Please, let him stay and let me stay up and play more with him," he begged as he continued rolling his toy cars back and forth.
I was ecstatic that he seemed to take to Eric so quickly and that he really seemed to like having him around. I knew that his fondness for Eric would make our whole situation easier in the long run, but that didn't change the fact that it was his bed time and that he was challenging me.
"Hunter," I said firmly, "you've got to go to bed and Eric can't stay."
"Sookie, please?" he whined.
"Hey, little man," Eric interrupted, "how about I read you a story instead?" he asked.
"Okay," Hunter said smiling.
"You go get ready for bed, like Sookie told you, then you come get me and I'll read to you, okay," Eric said as he patted Hunter on the head.
Hunter left to put on his pajamas and to brush his teeth and I said, "Eric, thanks, but you didn't have to do that. He needs to learn that he can't always get what he wants."
"I'm sorry if I stepped on your toes and I see your point, but I really don't mind reading to him. He's a great kid. I like spending time with him and, well, I'm really glad he seems to like spending time with me. That's a good thing, right?" He questioned. I smiled, nodded and stole a quick kiss, to let him know I agreed.
I couldn't help but smile, because I felt so lucky. I knew mine and Eric's situation wasn't the best, but he made me so happy and even more important, he made Hunter happy. I knew I'd told him that moving in together was moving too fast, but we were all so happy that maybe it really didn't matter. Maybe all that truly mattered was what was meant to be, and as far as that was concerned, I was positive that we were meant to be together; as a family.
Hunter returned, ready for bed, and held out his little hand, then said, "Come on Eric, let's go."
Eric kissed me on the cheek as he took Hunter's hand and said, "After I read to him, we'll talk, okay."
"I'll be waiting," I said smiling as they walked away.
Eric's POV
"So, what book do you want me to read to you tonight?" I asked as I stood at Hunter's bookshelf and he crawled into his bed.
"Green Eggs and Ham!" he exclaimed.
"I just read you that one last night, little man," I laughed.
Smiling he said, "I like that one."
I pulled the book off of the shelf and said, "Scoot over," as I slid onto the bed beside of him.
Just as I was about to begin, he asked, "Eric, why do you have to go home? I like you here with me and Sookie. You're fun."
Fuck, I liked being there, too, but Killer was at home and aside from him, Sookie had made it perfectly clear that moving in together was moving entirely too fast for her.
"Hunter," I said, "I have my own house. I can't stay here."
"Sookie's friend Amelia has her own house and she stays here sometimes," he said.
"I'm sure she had a really good reason for staying here, since she has her own house," I replied, not really knowing what to say to such a statement. "Besides, I have a dog at home and I can't leave him alone all night. He wouldn't like that very much."
"You have a dog?" he asked smiling. He was so cute, staring up at me with his brown eyes open wide in excitement, as he asked, "Will you bring him to play with me sometime? I love dogs!" Then, all of the sudden, his smile became a frown and he said, "My mommy and daddy were going to get me a dog, before they went away to heaven," and a tear fell from the corner of his eye and slid down his cheek.
"Hey, little man, it's okay," I said as I slid my arm around his shoulder. I wasn't sure what else to do. I certainly didn't like seeing him cry and the fact that it was about his parents made it that much more uncomfortable. "I'll bring my dog over to play with you, I promise."
Almost instantly, his frown started to turn back into the slightest smile and he questioned, "Really?"
"Yeah, I'm sure he'd like playing with you," I said smiling. I really hoped he'd like playing with Hunter. I'd never had him around kids before and he certainly wasn't good around most adults.
"Will you bring him next time you come over?" he begged.
"I don't know about next time, but we'll see," I said smiling.
"When you bring him, will you spend the night?" he asked smiling.
This kid was so freaking smart it was ridiculous. Not only was I starting to realize that he already had me wrapped around his little finger, a feat he'd managed to pull off in under two days time, but he was actually taking my excuse for not spending the night and using it against me.
"I don't know, Hunter. We'll just have to wait and see," I said, hoping that soon, not only would I be spending the night, but living with him and Sookie and taking care of them both, just like they deserved.
Sookie's POV
After about forty minutes of waiting for Eric, I was growing increasingly nervous and decided to see what was taking him so long. Quietly, I walked into the hall and stood just outside Hunter's door. I didn't want to disturb them in case Hunter was starting to fall asleep.
As I approached the door I overheard as Eric as he read, "I would not eat green eggs and ham. I do not like them, Sam-I-am."
Then, I heard what sounded like a very sleepy Hunter, as he interrupted, "Hey Ewic, I wish you could wead to me evewy night."
He was sleepy, alright, but he was fighting it. Whenever he got sleepy he had trouble with his r's and th's. He'd been in speech therapy for it since he started school. He used to do it all the time, but now, he only did it when he was sleepy. He was just the sweetest thing when he was sleepy.
"I do too, little man. I like reading to you," Eric said, "but if you don't go to sleep and let me finish the book, Sookie's not going to let me read to you anymore."
"Okay, Ewic," Hunter said. "I'll miss you when you go home."
Eric laughed, "I'll miss you, too, but I'll see you at school tomorrow."
"Will you eat lunch wif me?"
"I don't know, little man. I don't know if that would be a good idea," Eric said seriously.
"Why?" Hunter questioned.
"Well," Eric said, then after a brief silence he continued, "It doesn't matter if it's a good idea or not. If you want me to have lunch with you, I will."
"Ewic, I still wish you'd stay wif me and Sookie."
"I know. I wish I could stay, too, but I can't," Eric said solemnly, right before the phone rang.
When the phone rang, Eric looked up, noticed me, and smiled. I smiled, then reached for the phone that hung on the wall, right by my bedroom door, and said, "Hello," as I walked into my room and took a seat on my bed.
"Sookie, this is Pam, Eric's sister," the voice on the other side of the line said. "I'm sorry to bother you and I know it's kind of late, but I'm worried about Eric. I've left him several voicemails, sent him several texts and he hasn't called me back. I'd have called earlier, but it took a while to get your number."
"He's fine, Pam. He's been with here with me all afternoon and evening. He's reading Hunter a bedtime story, now. Would you like me to get him for you?" I asked.
I found it slightly strange that she was calling my house worried about Eric. I knew she'd said that she'd tried to call him and text him several times and he hadn't responded, but people ignore people's calls all the time, for various reasons. I mean, most people would have given it a couple of days and then worried. I wondered why it had her so up in arms that she'd call here at nearly ten at night.
"No!" she shouted. "Don't get him, I want to talk to you, Sookie," she insisted.
This was getting even weirder. What did she want to talk to me about? "Uh, okay," I said confused.
"Sookie, like I said, I'm worried about Eric. I'm not sure how much, if anything, you already know about what I'm about to tell you and honestly, it's probably not my place to tell you, but I don't know what else to do, he's there, I'm in New York, and now he won't call me back." She sounded like she was on the verge of tears. "I'm just so worried about him."
She went on to explain all about Eric's depression and anxiety and all about their phone call last night. It was really quite a lot to take in, but by the end of it, I understood why she was so upset and I was pretty sure that this was what his mysterious doctor's appointment was.
There was a lot I could say about Eric and his personality, but depressed and anxiety-ridden weren't even on the list, well, until now. Actually, the Eric I knew was quite the opposite; confident and relaxed, well mostly relaxed. Maybe I was starting to see it.
"Sookie, are you okay?" Pam asked. "I know it's a lot to take in and I also know you should have heard that all from Eric, not me ... oh, and I'd prefer that you don't let him know you know, unless you have no other choice. He'd kill me if he knew I told you about this."
Wow! She really expected me to keep this to myself; not that I really wanted to bring it up to Eric, but if this wasn't what he was about to tell me, I'd have to mention it. I wasn't upset he hadn't told me up until this point, everything was still so new between us and frankly, there was a lot we both still hadn't shared, but this was something that he'd have to mention soon, since it was so big, or I'd have to.
"Pam, I'm fine; a little shocked, but fine, but I don't know if I can keep this from him. I mean, I'm not going to run up to him and immediately tell him you told me, and I'm pretty sure he is going to tell me about it tonight, anyway, but at the same time, if he doesn't mention it soon, I'll have to. It's too big not to. Why do you think it is, that he hasn't said anything to me, yet?"
"Sookie, to my knowledge, nobody knows about this, but me and his doctors, well, and his insurance company. He's very sensitive about it. There is quite a stigma attached. Society tends to either completely minimize it or think the person is a complete lunatic."
"Well, Pam, I could never think either, especially about Eric and I'm not even upset that he hasn't told me, yet. I mean, I wish he had, but there's a lot that we both still have to share with each other, so I can't be upset."
"Sookie, he's really lucky to have you, you know that, right? You are too perfect for him. I'm happy he has you."
"Thanks, Pam," I said, "but I'm lucky, too."
"Hey, Sookie, I'm getting another call ... Oh and it's Eric."
"I'm in my room. I'll stay in here for a little while and give you two a little time to talk," I said.
"Thanks, Sookie."
Eric's POV
It took a while and I never finished his story, but Hunter finally fell asleep. When I left his room I realized that Sookie had shut her bedroom door. She'd gotten a phone call and I'd seen her go in there, but I hadn't realized she'd shut the door.
I knew we needed to have a serious talk, but if she needed privacy the last thing I wanted to do was bother her so I decided to use the time to make a call of my own. Pam had left me several voicemails and sent several texts and after the call I'd made to her last night, she was probably all up in arms that I hadn't called her back.
"It's about damn time, baby brother," Pam said snarkily. "I left you five voicemails and I've texted you twice."
"Pam, I have a life," I said as I lay back on the couch. I mean, what was I supposed to do; tell Hunter I couldn't color with him because I needed to take a phone call? Building my relationship with him and Sookie was what was important, at the moment, and Pam could wait.
"I know you have a life and I couldn't be happier. You've been a career driven ass for years now and I'm glad you've finally found something else to focus your drive on that actually gets you out of your house in the evenings, but I can't help but worry about you, at the same time."
"What are you getting at?" I asked. I really wanted to know.
"Eric, you were always shy and sensitive, before Thalia. She crushed you, baby brother, but once you got put on your medication I started to realize that if she hadn't done that, you may have just gone on living your life the way you had been; all emo and shit."
"Pam, what is this about?"
"Let me finish and you'll understand," she insisted. "After you got put on your meds, you became a better version of yourself. You were more confident, happier, and driven. Hell, I'd even say you were almost laid back and relaxed, well, except for when it came to your career, then you were just a dick," she laughed, then more seriously she said, "You're not like that now, and it scares me, baby brother. You're not like you were before you got help, so don't think I'm saying that, but you're closer to it now, than you've been for the past eight years."
"Pam, it's all the change. I have an appointment with Dr. Lee next week. I'm sure we'll be able to sort it all out," I assured. "I mean, I'm sure that it's normal. My depression's been under control. It's the anxiety that's been bothering me and I know the reason why, so me and Dr. Lee, we'll figure it out. I'm sure I just need to switch up my medication or something. Don't worry about me," I insisted, then noticed Sookie standing in the doorway, staring at me. "Sookie," I said surprised.
I wondered how much she'd heard, not that she wasn't about to find out anyway. "Hey Pam, I have to go," I said nervously, then shut my phone not even allowing Pam to respond. "Sookie, how much of that did you hear?" I asked nervously as she walked towards me.
"Enough," she said as she lifted my legs, sat down, then laid my legs back across her own.
"Sookie?" I questioned. She was too quiet and I desperately hoped she wasn't upset. I also couldn't help but hope that she didn't think I was a nutcase.
"Eric, are you okay?" she asked. "I mean, if Pam's worried, should I be?" I could tell she was worried about me.
"Sookie, I don't think either of you have anything to be worried about. I've got it under control," I insisted.
"Eric, I don't like this. Pam knows you better than me and if she's worried, I feel like I should be, too," she said. She looked like she was about to cry and I hated it when she cried.
"Baby, don't you worry about me," I commanded slightly playfully. "I'm fine, really I am. It's just with all the changes lately, my anxiety is flaring up a bit. It's no big deal," I assured her. "My appointment Wednesday is with Dr. Lee. I was going to talk to him about it then. Like I told Pam, I'm sure with all the changes it's totally normal."
"Dr. Lee, is he your psychiatrist?"
"No, that's Dr. Leclerq, but she's in New Orleans. I don't see her anymore. When I moved here, I started seeing Dr. Lee. He's just a therapist. There really wasn't any reason to see a psychiatrist anymore. I was totally stable and actually until recently, I hadn't even had any reason for my meds to be changed or adjusted since I first started treatment years ago."
"What happens if your medication needs to be changed now?" she asked.
"Dr. Lee would consult with Dr. Leclerq. She'd make the final decision and write the prescription," I explained as I lifted my legs from her lap and swung them around, placing my feet on the edge of the coffee table. She nodded.
"Come here," I said holding my arms out to her. She scooted into my side and laid her head on my shoulder. "Sookie," I said as I tightened my arms around her, "I promise I'm okay and I'm sorry I didn't tell you about any of this sooner." And I was sorry. I couldn't believe I actually thought she'd think I was crazy. I mean, this was Sookie, and she was being nothing less than supportive.
Sookie's POV
I was very glad I walked into the living room when I did. It gave me the perfect cover for the fact that I already knew about everything and it inevitably kept Eric from having to rehash everything in detail. Pam had given me enough of those and I honestly didn't want anymore. This way, I was able to ask the questions I wanted and be in total control of the conversation. I figured in the long run, that would keep Eric and myself, both, from getting too upset.
"Eric, it's okay that you didn't tell me, sooner. I wish you had, but I understand why you didn't. I know it must be hard to talk about," I said.
I really wanted him to know I was okay with it all and that I wasn't upset. More than anything, I wanted him to know that I wanted to be there for him.
"Hey," I said smiling. "Really, it's okay. I just want you to be okay and if you ever aren't, I'm here."
He leaned down and brushed his lips against mine. "Thanks," he said as he pulled away.
"Eric," I said nervously.
Everything that had happened throughout the day, really had me thinking and while I waited in my room, when Eric was talking to Pam, I'd made a few decisions and now, it was time to fill Eric in.
"Yeah."
"Next week, you don't have to work and neither do I. I was thinking, well, since you said you wanted us to live together, that maybe next week, if you don't have plans for the holidays, maybe you might want to stay here with me and Hunter and spend Christmas with us?" I stammered. "Kind of like a trial run? If it works out then maybe you could stay the next week, too. I have to work, but I know you'll be off until the first of the year."
Eric smiled and pulled me into a hard, rough, wet, and very quick kiss. When he pulled away, he said, "Of course, I'll stay with you next week! Just tell me when to be here! Hell, I'll go pack my things and get Killer right now! All you have to do is say the word!" he laughed. "It is okay if Killer comes, too?" He questioned timidly.
"Of course," I laughed. Did he really think that I didn't think Killer was part of the whole Eric package?
So, should the truth come out that Pam spilled the beans? How do you think Eric would feel about that? Let me know!