December 3rd
After a poor night's sleep Jennifer greeted the new day with a heavy heart. The little house with its messages from Evan sat on the table, taking on an air of disappointment and reproach when she passed it without even considering looking for the third day's message. She ignored it ... there was nothing Evan could have written that would make her feel better.
It wasn't her usual practice but she went to the Gateroom to see Colonel Sheppard's team off. Teyla was already there, her posture and the serenity of her expression something Jennifer dearly wished to emulate.
"Jennifer," she greeted Jenn with mild surprise. "You are well?"
"Not really," Jennifer admitted. "I thought maybe I could change John's mind and come with you. I just … I feel like maybe Evan did leave a clue but I'm the only one who would realise. I need to see where he was when they last contacted Atlantis."
"John will not approve your inclusion on the team," Teyla advised gently just as Ronon strode into the Gateroom to join his teammate.
"You coming along?" he asked Jennifer like it would be the most natural thing in the world for her to accompany them.
She wanted to hug him just for that alone. "I'd like to," she admitted.
"Jennifer wishes to see where Major Lorne's team was located prior to disappearing," Teyla explained.
"Look at the photos," Ronon suggested.
"Photos?"
"McKay took some," Ronon shrugged. "Said it was for further investigation."
"He will still be in his lab if you wish to speak to him before we leave," Teyla suggested; it was a well known fact that Rodney stayed in his lab until he was due in the Gateroom, more often than not waiting until Colonel Sheppard radioed and ordered him to get his butt to the gate before he'd leave his experiments behind.
"I will," Jennifer smiled. "Thank you."
"We'll find him," Ronon promised, his habitual confidence lifting her spirits. There was something about Ronon's approach to everything that made even the biggest problems seem manageable.
Nodding, Jennifer wished them well on the mission before hurrying away. She all but ran down the corridors, bursting into Rodney's lab moments later.
"Where's the fire?" he said testily without looking up at first, gulping back a further comment when he did and realised who his visitor was. "Oh, it's you," he said weakly.
"It's me," Jennifer repeated. "Ronon said you took photos yesterday, on M5R-990."
"And?" Rodney demanded impatiently.
"And I'd like to look at them," Jennifer said firmly.
"You think Lorne left a message just for you?" he asked incredulously.
Jennifer blushed at the implied criticism – even though a large part of her agreed that it was unlikely in the heat of the moment that Evan would have thought to communicate specifically with her. "It's possible," she said, sticking to her guns.
"But unlikely," Rodney said, not unkindly.
"Rodney, please," Jennifer begged.
"Fine," he swivelled in his seat, grabbing a data pad and offering it to her. "I uploaded all the pictures to the hard drive – there's some pattern recognition software on there as well. Radek's not totally useless – he should be able to help you if you want to do some actual scientific analysis instead of whatever random approach you're planning to take."
"Thank you Rodney," Jennifer said carefully, grateful for his help enough to ignore his naturally condescending approach. She took the laptop, intent on taking it back to her office immediately.
"Jennifer," Rodney waited for her to turn to look at him. "He'll be okay you know, Lorne I mean. He's ah … he's pretty smart, for a soldier."
"I know," Jennifer's smile was genuine as she regarded Rodney, marvelling again at his strange mix of caring and careless regard.
"Don't ah .. don't tell him I said that okay," Rodney added quickly.
"I wouldn't dream of it," Jennifer reassured him.
"I hope you find something," Rodney gestured to the laptop she gripped tightly.
"I intend to," Jennifer made the promise – to herself and to Evan.
It took longer than she liked – Rodney seemed to have walked over the entire planet with his finger permanently depressing the capture button. There were literally hundreds of shots, of the gate and surrounds, the trail leading away from the clearing, all the way to the village Evan's team had been visiting. The various caves Sheppard's team had already searched were there too, making for a mammoth task to look at every image individually.
It was blind luck when she finally noticed something unusual – after so little sleep and the monotony of scrolling through image after image after image her eyelids had dropped, her head falling forward. She'd caught herself just before her forehead hit the screen, startled awake. That close to the monitor, the ground around the DHD was shown in vivid detail. Even with that it was subtle … what looked like the number 16 shaped out in darker rocks so that it was just visible. It was a message, one she understood immediately. She printed the image, shifting from foot to foot impatiently while she waited for the Ancient printer to spit out a copy.
Jumping up she ran to her quarters, dropping down to the floor beside the coffee table, eyes rapidly tracking over the advent house.
"Come on," she muttered, frustrated at not finding what she wanted immediately. It was obvious in the end, a small number 16 carved beside one of the chimneys. Lifting it she found the scroll inside, quickly unrolling it.
"When things go wrong, when I have to make a choice that takes me away from you, even when it seems like hope is lost, don't give up. I will do whatever it takes to come back to you."
"Oh thank god," she exclaimed. Grabbing the paper and the copy of Rodney's photo Jennifer hurried to Colonel Carter's office.
"He went somewhere, by choice," she announced as soon as Sam called for her to enter.
"Major Lorne?" Sam questioned.
"Yes," Jennifer said impatiently. "See, Rodney took a picture of the ground around the DHD. Evan left a message, something brief he knew I'd understand."
"It looks like a number," Sam suggested, squinting at the photo.
"It is, the number 16," Jennifer explained. "He wanted me to skip to that day in the advent calendar he made for me. This is the message he included for that day." Jennifer handed the small strip of paper to the Colonel, regretting the need to give up some of her privacy but knowing no one would take her word for it without all the evidence.
"When I have to make a choice that takes me away from you," Sam repeated, looking up to Jennifer, brow raised. "You think this means they left the planet through the Stargate, voluntarily?"
"Not exactly," Jennifer shook her head. "Evan would never go anywhere like that without reporting in first, unless he wasn't given the chance to contact us."
"You think they were coerced into it," Sam suggested, "that Major Lorne decided to go along with something as the lesser of two evils?"
"I think so," Jennifer said earnestly. "Trust me Colonel – I know Evan left that specific clue because he only had time for something very brief and he knew I'd understand the bigger message. The timing is too perfect for it to be anything else – he gave me the advent calendar the night before they left."
Colonel Carter sat quietly, thoughtfully, and then nodded. "Very well, I'll send Doctor Zelenka to retrieve as many gate addresses as he can from the DHD. It's a long shot but we might get lucky. I'll also advise Colonel Sheppard to question the locals about any non hostiles who've been there looking for help recently."
"Thank you Ma'am," Jennifer said gratefully.
"Call me Sam," Colonel Carter invited with a friendly smile. "You've done all you can do for the time being Doctor – why don't you get some rest? I'll update you as soon as we have word of any progress."
"We didn't find anything new," Colonel Sheppard admitted. He'd hung around the infirmary after he and his team were finished with their post mission check-ups to give her an update himself. "Radek pulled about thirty addresses from the DHD – he's running through them to eliminate the ones we know are unlikely. We'll prioritize the rest and start sending out teams from tomorrow to search."
"This is like when Lieutenant Ford kidnapped you, isn't it?" Jennifer said numbly.
"No," John insisted. "Ford was … hyped up on drugs and not thinking straight."
"But you still had to make the decision to play along," she pointed out. "You were gone for weeks!"
"Lorne isn't going to be gone for weeks," John shot back impatiently. "For whatever reason he saw the need to leave without letting us know. Now we'll search for his team, but in the mean time Lorne will be working to get home too, just like it says in his message. You need to trust him Doc."
"I do," Jennifer exclaimed.
"Well all right then," John said bracingly. "So we're good?"
"For now," Jennifer agreed.
"I understand how hard this is."
That was something Jennifer knew he, more than many people, would understand. His drive to leave no one behind was fuelled by something personal from his past – even with the necessary access to his medical file, Jenn didn't know what exactly had happened, just that it had been bad enough to get him transferred to Antarctica.
"Come to the mess later, have dinner with my team," John continued. "Teyla will be worried about you so if you don't she'll just come knocking on your door later."
"Okay, thank you John," Jennifer said in a low tone.
Sheppard looked like he wanted to say more … not finding the words he wordlessly touched a hand to her shoulder before leaving her to her thoughts.
She knew the stats – the longer a person was missing, the less likely it was they'd be found unscathed, if at all. Evan and his team were coming up for day three – that feeling of time rushing towards the worst kind of fate made her feel sick and on the edge of tears.
When she found and opened door number three later that night, Evan's message sent her over the edge. Sobbing, she curled up on the couch, the scroll dropping from her fingers to roll under the couch.
"I can't imagine my children being anything but a combination of the two of us – you and me. Say yes and we can get busy creating those kids as soon as you like …"