December 4th
Living is a state of limbo became a routine for Jennifer, too quickly. She'd get up after a restless unsatisfying sleep and eat breakfast in the mess hall so she could grill John on which teams were going where that day, all the while burying her fear that they'd have to pull the plug on searching for Evan if something wasn't found soon. Then she'd spend as many hours as she could in the infirmary. Her files had never been so organised, inventory was up to date and the annual stock take done as well – at this rate she'd run out of useful things to do within days.
In the evenings she'd eat with John's team again, picking at her meal because she was there for only one thing – news of Evan. As soon as she had the details on all the moves made to find her almost fiancé, she'd make her excuses and leave – being around people with their sympathetic looks and their offers of help irritated her. Not Teyla or Ronon or even Rodney of course – they knew better than to question how she was coping.
It was such a cliché – like a bad Christmas movie on the lifetime channel. She was cast as the woman forced to wait at home while her man – that was Evan's role – did everything he could to get home before Christmas, usually suffering all manner of disasters and missteps along the way. The big day was still a long way off but Jennifer couldn't help but worry that part of the cliché was locked in, that she'd have to wait until December 25th for Evan's return.
She missed him so much that it hurt to be in her quarters night after night without him. His quarters were no different – worse in some respects because she felt his presence so strongly it was a blow to turn expecting him to be there and find only darkness instead. She couldn't stay there – she'd visit, touch a personal item of his, a comb, a book, the picture of his sister on his night stand, then stand at his easel still covered over since that fateful Sunday. After only a few minutes she'd retreat back to her own room, intent on anything that would wear her out.
When she was at the stage of falling asleep where she sat, Jennifer would drag herself from the couch, stopping only to find the day's advent message before dropping wearily to the bed. She clung to each message because it was a piece of Evan and the future she was determined they'd have together.
Day 4's message made her blush bright red before she laughed, understanding why Evan said she'd like it.
"I want you … every minute of every day. Now if you say yes that's not going to get better but being in a permanent state of arousal for your wife sounds so much more respectable, don't you think?"
Three days … he'd been gone three days and yet it felt like much longer. "Come home," Jennifer begged into the quiet of her room. "Please Evan, come back to me."