Chapter Six
Wes and Jeff sat awkwardly in the chairs of Nick's dressing room, avoiding all eye contact with each other. Wes had finally fixed his clothes and hair, but it didn't make Jeff feel any less uncomfortable. When the hell had they gotten together? He didn't even know for sure that Nick was gay before now. And sure, he was happy that he was, but… He was with Wes now, and it messed with his head a little more than he wanted to admit. Finally, Wes couldn't handle the awkward, and he stood. "I think I'll just step out and let the two of you talk…" he said, turning and leaving room. Once the door shut behind him, Nick sighed and muttered, "Jeff, I… I have a lot to tell you. Since I left for college, a lot has happened…"
"Clearly," Jeff said, glancing slowly over at the chair Wes had been in before turning his gaze back to the man he loved. "So, you're… dating Wes," he said, taking a deep breath as he did. "Yeah… We've been together a couple of months now, actually." Nick smiled then, thinking about how good Wes was to him. "He's really sw—"
"As happy as I am for you, Nick… Please don't tell me how happy you are with Wes…" Jeff said quickly, feeling a little light-headed from the sharp pain that had started in his chest once he saw that smile on Nick's face. "I just… I'm really, seriously glad you're happy, but I… I don't want to talk about it. If that's okay…"
Nick seemed a little surprised, but he slowly nodded. Maybe Jeff had just gotten out of a relationship or something… Maybe he'd always had a crush on Wes. Either way, he didn't mind not talking about it. He took a seat next to Jeff, sighing softly. "I… I want you to know I didn't lie to you in high school or anything. I really thought I was straight. Then I came to New York, and… and I met this guy," he said, the tone of his voice changing. He'd gone from sounding perfectly happy to sounding completely and utterly depressed. Jeff looked up in concern, and Nick continued talking. "His name was Kendall, and he completely swept me off my feet. He was a senior at the school, and he was just… so charming," he began, chewing on his lip.
Jeff wanted to ask where this was going, but he knew that Nick would get there. From the look on his face, this was a serious topic… Despite being worried, Jeff felt happy that Nick still trusted him enough to spill his guts to him this way. "After my first semester in college, he convinced me to take a break and spend time with him, since he'd graduated… and for a while, it was great. He was really sweet to me, and we even started living in his apartment together. But he started acting different after a while…" he mumbled, running his fingers through his hair.
"He would get mad at me for little things, like forgetting to wash the dishes… He'd stay out all night long, and he brought people over that I didn't know, people who made me feel uncomfortable. Then I found out he was doing drugs, and I tried to convince him to stop. That was the first time he hit me…" Jeff's eyes shot wide and he looked up into Nick's eyes. The brunette had a blank stare on his face, and he was chewing on his lip. Jeff wanted to say something, but before he could, Nick started up again. "I admit that I was stupid… I thought he would change, because… well, he'd been so good to me before the drugs. I thought… maybe if I just did things right, he'd love me still. I thought that if I cleaned every day, or if I… If I let him fuck me more often, then maybe we could work it out… But things only got worse.
"When I found out that Wes had come to New York, too, I invited him over… I wanted to see him… Hell, I wanted to see anyone. Kendall wouldn't let me see my friends much, really. But he'd gone out for the night, and I was lonely. When he got home, he found Wes and I asleep in our bed. I wasn't going to make him sleep on the couch… So, he made Wes leave, and he started wailing on me. When I woke up, I was in the hospital. He'd told the paramedics I came home after getting jumped in an alley, and that I passed out when I got to the bedroom. So he took me home. He beat me a few more times after that…"
Jeff's eyes filled with tears as he listened to Nick's story, and he clenched his hands tightly into fists. He couldn't believe someone would hurt Nick that way… "Eventually, I couldn't take it anymore. I hated being scared, being hurt all the time, being sore when he wasn't even hitting me… So, I fought back… I shoved him away, and he fell into our dresser. There was a really old, huge TV on top of it… and he hit it so hard that it fell and… and it landed on his head. It killed him…" Nick muttered, tears finally filling his eyes. "I panicked and called Wes… I didn't know who else to talk to. He helped me call the cops and explain the situation… He kept me from going insane with guilt. And I didn't get in trouble or anything… It was an accident, and it was self-defense. But… I-I'm still recovering from what it did to me emotionally.
"After that, I moved in with Wes, and we've been living together since. I finished school mostly to keep myself busy, keep my mind occupied… And when I wasn't doing school work, I pretty much whored around and got drunk for a while. I stopped that after Wes got on to me for it, and he started taking care of me since I wasn't very good at doing it myself…. So… Here we are," he said with a light shrug, looking up at Jeff. There were tears rolling down the blond's cheeks, and he'd had to bite his lip to keep it from quivering. "I'm… I'm sorry I never called you, Jeff… I… I haven't been okay… I wanted to, I—"
Jeff leaned over and hugged onto his best friend tightly, shaking his head and clinging to him. "N-no, it's okay, Nick… It's… D-don't worry about it. Seriously, I'm okay… I'm fine…" he mumbled. Slowly, Nick hugged back, and once he allowed himself to relax into Jeff's arms, he broke down and started sobbing, burying his face in his shoulder. "I-I missed you so much, Jeff…"
"I missed you too, Nick…"