i
I'm a tiny bit concerned about the characterization in this chapter.
Sollux- I'm trying to give him a balance between his psionic and blind personalities (clever/self-deprecating/easy going)
Karkat- It's very hard to keep his self-hate without making him totally stereotypically emokid. Working to handle it in a detached way similar to canon.
Gamzee, Vriska, Equius- these guys are tough, because in a human setting, their evil-ness needs to be toned down.
/i
Karkat stared at his withered burger. Thanks for ordering for me, jerkass. He was going to order a burger anyways, but maybe he would have changed his mind at the last moment. Sollux came back with two drinks, setting one cup in front of Karkat. Karkat peered into it curiously. Pink lemonade. He glared at Sollux.
"Okay, wait, before you tell me a bunch of useless stuff about why Eridan hates you, how the fuck did you know I liked pink lemonade?" Sollux looked at him, then gave him a funny sort of smirk.
"You just seem like a pink lemonade kind of guy," Sollux offered, shrugging.
"Bullshit," Karkat said flatly. "What are you, psychic?"
"Okay, okay, John may have mentioned it." Sollux sat down, then noticed Karkat's suspicious look. "Really!"
"Jegus, what else has he told you?" Karkat asked, sipping his drink moodily.
"All your deepest secrets." At the deeply alarmed look on Karkat's face, he fumbled to take it back. "Joking!"
"Whatever, 'Matilda'. You're not allowed to read my mind about those either. So what was that thing with Eridan all about?" Sollux didn't reply until he had finished pouring a liberal amount of mustard on exactly half of his burger – gross, Karkat thought as painted his own with ketchup – and then ketchup on the other half.
"Well, you met Feferi. She and Eridan used to be best friends. They even applied to marine biology together. One day, he told her he liked her, but she turned him down. He got all emo and shit and switched to philosophy. Then, I met her at a science club. We became really close friends, but Eridan thought we were going out or some shit. He tries to start fights sometimes, but…eh, he's really not that bad. Just kind of an idiot." Karkat snorted. Understatement of the century.
"So…you and Feferi aren't dating?"
"No. Eridan kind of screwed that up," Sollux said, dipping one end of a French fry into ketchup, then dipping the other into mustard.
"So you might have dated?" Karkat tried to keep the curious glee out of his voice. He might come off as a nosy asshole, but he was totally addicted to the subtleties of college romance. It was one of the few things he'd never get tired of. Watching frantic relationships, finding out which would flourish…and more exciting- which would crash and burn. He had become somewhat of an expert on the subject.
"For a variety of reasons, that would never actually happen." Sollux's tone was rather stiff. Karkat could barely keep a smug smile off of his face at the self-deprecation lacing the terse reply. That's too bad, Sollux. Love hurts, huh? Tales of others' misfortune comforted him, like they were reminders that he was not alone in being a total screwup.
"What the fuck are you smiling about, KK?" Sollux's eyes were narrowed behind his glasses.
"Nothing, just thinking about something funny."
"Gee, thanks." Sollux looked annoyed.
"No problem." Karkat finished his burger, and began drowning his fries in ketchup.
"KK…you are disgusting." Karkat looked up with mild surprise. Sollux was watching him eat, one eyebrow raised. He didn't miss the way Karkat's face fell.
"Glad you finally realized it, fucknuts," Karkat said lowly, very real darkness in his voice. Sollux blinked.
"I meant the ketchup, you idiot. That's fucking weird." The two scowled at each other. Sollux watched as Karkat's face reddened from embarrassment.
"Look who's talking, freakshow. Are you trying to have some kind of weird polyamorous relationship with ketchup and mustard? Will they get jealous if you eat too much of one?" They began picking up their garbage, arguing the entire time.
"Fuck you, Vantas, it tastes better than the bloodbath you end up with."
"That bloodbath is a delicious pool of ketchup that vastly triumphs over the nasty taste of mustard." The two left the cafeteria, striding across the lawn. They bickered until they reached the building the Karkat's class was in. Sollux waited for him to finish the rather lengthy insult he was spewing.
"Have fun at comp. sci. for children, imbecile." Sollux muttered.
"Step on a rake, Sollux." It was silent for a moment.
"...I can't believe we just had an argument about ketchup."
"Yeah…that was kind of embarrassing," Karkat admitted, looking away uncomfortably. "Uh…I'll…see you after class?" He paused, then waved. Sollux waved back and began to walk towards wherever he was going.
Karkat stumbled out of class, barely awake. The teacher had spent the first day of 'Intro to Comp. Sci.' pointedly avoiding computers. They had played every stupid icebreaker game ever invented, plus a few more that had never been invented, probably for good reason. Karkat now knew the names of forty people he kind of didn't care about, and the lack of sleep from the night before (and the night before that…and the night before that…) was making him even more tense and irritable than usual. He made his way slowly back to the dorms. If Feferi pops up I'm going to kill her. Feferi didn't seem to be around, however, so he leaned on the door, trying to unlock it. After a few minutes of struggling to get the key in the fucking slot get in there YOU FUCKING METAL ASSHOLE GET IN YOUR HOME- the door opened, and Sollux was standing there.
"Are you drunk?" Sollux asked, brow furrowing.
"Listen, standing up is not really working for me right now. Can you just shut up and let me get to my bed?" It was only three in the afternoon, but Karkat was pretty sure that didn't matter to his sleep cycle. Seventeen hours of sleep sounds real good right now. Sollux stepped out of the way, and Karkat immediately went to his bed to fall on it. He heard Sollux judging him behind him, but could care less.
"Eridan asked for you," Sollux said after sitting back down at his computer. Karkat rolled over to gaze blearily at him.
"W-what? Fuck, why?" I just want to sleep. Why won't people just die so I can sleep?
"…in the cafeteria today? He said he needed to talk to you?"
"I thought he hated you, how did he …guh."
"Pesterchum. If he's asking me, must be real important."
"…Fucking…is he online?"
"Yes."
"Tell him…tell him 'what'. Tell him that. Tell him 'what'."
"Done." They waited for a moment. "He says 'get online'," Sollux finally said.
"Tell him I'm on it, totally on it. So on it."
"He asked you to stop being an asshole, and that you need to go over to his house. He's going to be in the parking lot in ten minutes." Karkat rolled over and yelled into his mattress. Sollux smiled helplessly.
"FINE. FINE. I'LL GO. " He pushed himself off his bed violently. He stormed over to Sollux's computer and leaned over him, typing rapidly into the message box.
twinArmageddons: SLEEP WITH ONE EYE OPEN ERIDAN
caligulasAquarium: aw kar come on it's important
caligulasAquarium: im leavin now, be ready
Ten minutes later, Karkat was shivering in the parking lot, trying his hardest to warm up his neck with a complicated heat transfer process involving his hands. It wasn't working, and when Eridan pulled up in his purple Mercedes-Benz, Karkat flung himself at it furiously. Eridan raised his eyebrows and unlocked the door.
"What the fuck Kar, you ok?" Eridan asked when Karkat flopped on the seat, then huddled next to the air vent.
"Fuck no, it's colder than shit out there. People who aren't in a Benz would know this."
"W-well, I had to walk to the car too, y'know."
"Poor baby," Karkat scoffed. "What was so deathly important that you drove back here to tell me?"
"I'll tell you when we get to my house."
"What? Hell no, you can tell me here, then I can go back to sleep."
"It's…it's like three thirty in the afternoon, Kar."
"Then I can go back to sleep. The end of that sentence isn't going to change. I'm very tired. Sitting here is taking a lot out of me, so just tell me what you want." Eridan didn't reply, then sighed and put the car into park. He seemed to be collecting his thoughts.
"Sollux is your new roommate, huh?" He muttered, picking at the logo on the steering wheel.
"Uh, yeah. Sorry if that offends you or something, but he's way better than my roommate last year."
"Yeah, I know. Well, he's an annoyin' bitch, but…yeah, he's no Makara." The conversation dropped into awkward silence. Alright, something's up. Karkat could tell Eridan was figuring out how to tell him something.
"Eridan. What," Karkat demanded. Eridan looked at Karkat, and the expression on his face was unusual for him. What's with that weird face?
"You seen him around? Makara, I mean. Or Vriska?" Karkat didn't follow.
"Yes? Vriska was in my class today, and Gamzee…well, I'm sure that guy sees me more than I see him, if you get my drift. …wait. Is this about Zahhak's fucking party?" Karkat asked. Eridan looked surprised.
"You know about that?"
"Aren't I fucking invited? What the fuck is up with this party? Are they going to kill me or drown me in the river or what?" Eridan's eyes were big, at least compared to his normal squint.
"You know about that?" He repeated.
"…Wait, what?"
"Kar, remember, if anythin' happens, well, I know you can't usually tell but I got your back-"
"ERIDAN. WHAT. THEY'RE PLANNING TO KILL ME?" Karkat interrupted him.
"I dunno. No. Not kill, maybe like…seriously maim? There was this kid a while back that Vriska got her hands on, she liked 'im a lot, ended up paralyzing him..."
"Paralyzed?" Karkat's eyes got wide. "Tavros? Tavros Nitram?"
"Yeah I dunno the name, kind of a timid guy-"
"Tavros Nitram! She paralyzed him? Wheelchair? Oh god whatthefuck-"
"Kar!" Eridan turned fully towards him. "Listen. Like I said, I got your back. Just…stay away from those guys. Makara, Vriska, Zahhak…bad news. I'll be at the party, gotta maintain my rep, but you should prob'ly skip this one. Not much I can do three against one."
"Thanks. Fucking thanks, I planned to. Sounds like a seriously fun time, but I think I'll have to miss this one, shit. Sounds like so much fun, but I don't feel like getting triple-teamed by the horrorterrors," he babbled, opening the door and backing out of the car.
"Wait! Don't ya wanna come over?" Eridan called after him.
"Sorry, Eridan, not really feeling up to that right now. I'll call you when I feel the need to have a really gay sleepover."
"Aw, fuck you, Kar!" Eridan slammed the door, and Karkat tossed him a wave. The Benz drove away with a honk. As he stood in the biting cold, he realized he wasn't really in the mood for sleeping anymore. He was tired. He made up his mind and took off in the direction of another set of dorms. He needed to see Kanaya.