Sollux Captor was standing outside of a fairly normal looking two-story house. It was located in the suburbs, about a mile and a half off the highway. A car was parked in the driveway, but the house itself seemed empty. He wasn't there alone- he was with a friend of his, a resident of the house. That friend was carefully trying to climb through a window, presumably the one to his own bedroom.
"Uh, KK, I still don't understand why you're breaking into your own house," Sollux said, tearing his eyes away from a really ugly dog staring intently at him from a window across the street.
"Yeah, well, I didn't expect you to. All families have their own way of doing things, ok? This is how my family does their things. It's much easier than running into my parents, trust me, fuck," Karkat struggled with the window, then gasped in triumph as it suddenly slid upwards. "Yes!" He clambered inside. Sollux stood there awkwardly, eyeing the open window. The dog across the street barked behind the glass. Karkat waited for a minute, then popped his head out the window. "Jegus, Sollux, get a move on." Sollux sighed, and planted his foot on the frame, pulling himself through. Karkat stayed put until Sollux was on the ground, adjusting his glasses, before he began to move to the door. Despite it being a bright morning, the house was dark and quiet. Sollux figured that maybe his parents had gone to work. Karkat flattened himself against the wall before cracking open the door to peek out.
"Why are we being quiet?" Sollux whispered, still pretty confused. Karkat rolled his eyes.
"I am being quiet. You aren't. Luckily, my parents aren't here, I guess. I didn't know if they were." He flipped a light switch, and a lamp brightened the room. "Okay, this should be quick and painless. You can sit on my bed, I guess." Sollux sat down, watching Karkat curiously.
"So this is your room?" He asked, looking around the small gray room. Movie posters were stuck on the wall and several knick knacks were on the dresser, but for the most part it was just as sparse as his side of the dorm.
"Yeah. Sorry, it kind of sucks." Karkat was collecting something out of his closet and throwing them into his backpack.
"Yeah, it's just…really empty. What are those?" Karkat stiffened.
"Mind your own damn business, it doesn't fucking matter what they are," he snapped.
"Oh, KK, that language of yours- such a turn-on," Sollux said flatly. Karkat flushed bright red, sputtering.
"What part of 'shut the fuck up' do you not understand!" Sollux was smirking as he examined a magazine that he had picked up from the floor.
"I dunno, probably all of it. You talk too fast. Like a freaking Chihuahua." Karkat looked like he was going to have an aneurysm.
"It's nothing compared to your giant LIS-" Suddenly something made a loud bump above them. Karkat's voice dropped to a harsh whisper. "FUCK. My mom is home. Let's just get out of here, I got what I needed." He held up his backpack. Sollux looked confused.
"I still don't get what's so bad about your mom."
"Nothing, just that we aren't gonna get back by seven if she finds out I came home. More like ten. Or possibly tomorrow if she thinks I look hungry. Come on, out the window." Raising an eyebrow, Sollux complied.
"Not gonna lie, KK, I was kind of curious about what your parents must be like, seeing how much you hate the world, they must be special. Turns out they just loved you too much or something." Karkat scoffed.
"Special, sure. You'll just have to wait until open house or some shit to see all their love. Let's go." Sollux grudgingly climbed up.
"Just saying, I want to meet my in-laws at some point-" Karkat shoved him, ignoring his cry of alarm.
"If you like your teeth you'd shut the fuck up and MOVE." Karkat wasn't far behind, and soon they were in the car, driving away from the house of Vantas, one bag of mystery richer than when they arrived. Karkat clutched the bag in question tightly. Fuck yes, finally. Maybe now I can sleep. Sollux eyed it when they got to a red light.
"Okay, KK. Seriously. What's in the bag? You owe me for coming all the way out here." Karkat sighed, then opened it. Sollux took a second to identify the numerous flat boxes. "Are…are those movies?" Karkat pulled the bag shut, scowling.
"Good job, idiot. Yeah. I sleep better with them running, in case you haven't noticed my problem with that."
"Oh…I see. I guess I understand. I sleep better with computers running and stuff." The two were silent for a few minutes, until Sollux checked the time.
"Hey, do you wanna get something to eat? I didn't really eat breakfast." Karkat realized he hadn't either.
"Uh, neither did I. Yeah, I guess. There's a burger place about five minutes ahead." Sollux likes burgers, right? Yeah. Sure enough, seven minutes later, Karkat was sitting on a sticky booth seat while Sollux ordered for them with Karkat's money. Stop ordering for me, you freak. Sollux eventually came back with their food, and after Sollux's freakish bipolar condiment ritual, they ate in silence. They were both so hungry that there was no room for conversation, so the burgers were short work. Sollux balled up his wrapper, wiping his mouth with a napkin.
"That was way better than the school's burgers," he sighed, content. Karkat finished the last bite of his burger, nodding.
"Probably because they don't leave it outside for week to make sure it's dry enough to wipe the floors with," he said, mouth full of food. Sollux grimaced.
"Thank you for the attractive visual aid, KK."
"Anytime."
On the way back to school, Sollux's cellphone rang; it was Feferi. As Sollux explained where he was, Karkat checked his own phone. The display told him he had a stupid amount of missed calls: Eridan, Eridan, Eridan, Jegus fuck you Eridan, Mom, Mom…Terezi? He pressed the call button on her number and waited. Sollux was laughing at something Feferi said, and Karkat listened with half an ear until Terezi's voice chirped at him. Dammit, voicemail.
"Terezi. Hi. Did you call me? Call me back when you get this. Or maybe leave a message maybe? God. Uh…bye." He hung up, then stashed the phone in his pocket. Sollux's conversation with Feferi didn't sound like it was ending anytime soon. Karkat rested his forehead against the window, ignoring the slight burning from the sun's rays. After a few minutes of listening to the timbre of Sollux's voice, he dozed away into an unsettling dream about blind witches, hammers, and Faygo.
…Until Sollux shook him back to the land of the living.
"Up and at'em, KK. Come on, we're back." He waited until Karkat had gotten out of the car, then checked his phone. "I'm gonna go meet Fef. I'll see you after class, kay?" Karkat waved in a daze, watching him leave. I wonder if Terezi's at her dorm…ugh, I don't want to see Vriska though. Terezi had the bad luck of being roommates with Vriska. How she put up with her fuckassery was beyond him. He decided against risking it and trudged towards his dorm, feeling pretty…pretty okay. There was a drool dried on his cheek and the remaining drowsiness was somehow making him feel blurry, but he didn't feel like passing out for once. Maybe he could get on a normal sleep schedule now, when the homework hadn't started pouring in yet, and be a real person. ….yeah right. Well, the movies would at least help with his sleep problem…sort of. If he didn't try to marathon all eighty of them first. Actually, that's not a bad idea.
That's exactly what he was attempting two hours later when his phone rang and Terezi's name blinked on the screen.
"Karkat! Do you have class tonight?" Terezi asked. She sounded excited.
"Fuck, I almost forgot. Yeah, I do. Why?"
"Darn. Ok whatever whatever! Can you meet me by the lake right afterwards? There's been some…new developments I think you should be aware of," she said. It still sounded like she wanted to end that with a cackle, despite the ominous tone.
"…Devel…? Wait, is this about Gamzee and Vriska and shit? IF IT'S ABOUT THEM TRYING TO MURDER ME, ERIDAN BEAT YOU THE FUCK TO IT."
"Calm down, Kar, I knew you'd know what Eridan knows! This is new, different!"
"Oh boy. Can't wait."
"Do you know Feferi Peixes?"
"Unfortunately. Why."
"Well, Nepeta told Feferi about the beatdown that Vriska was orchestrating – Feferi wants to report it!"
"WHAT? FUCK NO, TEREZI. This is fucking stupid, if I was gonna report it, might as well switch schools. KARKAT VANTAS, SWITCHED SCHOOLS BECAUSE HE WAS AFRAID OF BEING KILLED OR WHATEVER THE FUCK VRISKA SEKRET PLANNED. Wait, actually, I probably wouldn't go to school ever again, my mom would put me in the Witness Protection Program and make me live in a pillow box. Do you not- my dad would disown me! 'KID, I'M SO DISAPPOINTED IN YOU. IT WAS JUST A MURDER PLOT, YOU KNOW HOW TO DEAL WITH ASSASSINS. GET OUT OF MY HOUSE.' NO. We have to deal with this…under the table. So fucking under the table, food will fall on our heads. Tell Fefer- no, you know what, I'll tell her myself. She's always hanging all over my roommate, she'll probably be here tonight."
"…hey Karkat. You do know that Sollux-"
"Yeah, they aren't dating? Whatever, they totally are. Anyways, thanks for telling me, Terezi. I'll talk to you later. "
"Wait, I mean-" He pressed the 'end call' button and bit his thumbnail. Feferi was becoming a problem. He really did need to talk to her, level with her- if she told the administration there was a bounty on his head or what the fuck ever, they'd notify his family. Which unfortunately consisted of the most overprotective mother and the most emotionally absent father in the history of college students. He tried to think about how she would have found out. All his thoughts led to one person - Sollux Captor. The problem was that he didn't know if Sollux knew….what…everyone else knew ugh fuck this sentence. But there was a possibility- Kanaya knew about the party. Kanaya talked to John. Terezi also talked to John. Terezi talked to Sollux. John talked to Sollux. John told Sollux an unknown quantity of information, and Sollux may or may not have been told about the freakish party where Karkat may or may not be meeting an untimely demise. This huge tangle- bitch spiderweb- of information was making him even more annoyed. He was just not cutout for investigation and timeline analysis and all that forensic shit like Terezi. And…
"SHIT. CLASS." Grabbing his backpack, Karkat flew out of the room. Hopefully, when he returned, Sollux and Feferi would be making out on Sollux's bed – okay wait fuck, SITTING, sitting on his bed- and he could interrogate both of them at once.
Can anyone guess who Karkat's parents are yet?