Not according to plan, but all is well-ish. I realized I never did have a reward-thingy for the 100th reviewer, so how about rewards for the 147th reviewer? And yes, I totally pulled that out of nowhere.

Oh and much needed love to Fyyrrose for totally hijacking this chapter and bringing you all a much needed update. Oh and Korea, you really need to unblock FF! It's better than having your students fall asleep during class. ~ Love Fyy (PS review or I'll stop the love. Yes, I have that power...and I will use it. ~huggles~)

Chapter Seventeen

Why was he so stupid? Why, why, why?

He glanced down at Ivan's hand in his own and gave a somewhat dopey smile. Oh yeah, that was why. But still, he shouldn't be going along with this plan. He suspected that Alfred and Ivan had united for a common cause and that a strategic war meeting had been held without his presence. Which irked him. And also scared him. He grew up with Alfred, and he knew that for the most part Alfred was very friendly and obliging. Until you pissed him off. Then he beat you half to death and went back to being friendly. That mentality, combined with Ivan's very obvious inability to play nice sometimes, did not bode well for Francis.

And now he was an accessory and an accomplice.

Ivan leaned over, "Matvey will lure Francis out, da? Then we will… talk."

Riiiight.

Talk. In the way the Japanese and Americans talked just before the bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki. Talk just like Germany and Russia did before breaking the Pact of Non-Aggression in WW2. There would be talking alright.

Matthew went through his day, ignoring Alfred and Ivan's stares. He actually hoped for Francis' sake that Francis would stay away. Of course, it was Francis, so that plan was fail. Matthew was ambushed just after lunch.

"Matthieu, how are you today?" Francis greeted, giving a quick glance around and smiling broadly. Surprisingly, Gilbert and Toni were nowhere to be seen. An angry, screeching Italian sounded off to the left. Well, there was Toni anyway.

"Hi Francis. I'm doing pretty good. You?" Matthew ducked his head to avoid his eyes giving him away. He felt horrible for what he was going to do. Despite the huge misunderstanding and the irritation he had to go through for the past few days, he really did still like Francis a lot, his pervertedness aside. And it was because of Francis that he had a "boyfriend" of his dreams. So he really couldn't be that upset.

Besides, Francis would've been a nice release if Ivan hadn't interrupted them. And Lord knew Matthew needed a little release since he wasn't getting any from Ivan.

"Ah, very well, thank you for asking. You are so considerate." Francis hummed in appreciation, "Such good manners. And where is your new boyfriend? You should not be so lenient so soon in case he gets bored of you."

Matthew gave a snort and tried to sound disgusted, "I don't know. He's somewhere. Maybe with Alfred." Not totally a lie. Matthew was quite sure Ivan was with Alfred.

"Scandalous! Maybe it is you who will grow bored first, oui?" Francis gasped and took the opportunity to place a consoling arm around Matthew's shoulders.

"Maybe. Maybe I need a little more attention," Matthew admitted.

"Oui, oui, of course you do. Matthieu is a very sensitive boy." Francis said steering him away from the cafeteria and towards a more secluded area of the university. Matthew almost groaned and rolled his eyes. Could Francis have made it any easier to be ambushed?

It was quite obvious what he had in mind, even Alfred would have been able to deduce what Francis' angle was. And it was quite risky, considering he didn't actually know where Ivan was, just that he wasn't with Matthew at the moment.

"Um… Ivan…" Matthew tried to give a half-hearted warning, partly to act in-character and partly to save Francis some unpleasantness, "Really, you shouldn't mess with him. He's very angry about the other night at the party…"

"Nonsense. Had I known that he accompanied you, there would not have been such a misunderstanding." Francis retorted smoothly, "So it should not be a big problem now. I merely wish to speak with you to ensure your safety. He has quite the reputation on campus, and I am concerned that Alfred is failing to do as he should."

"…You saw the hockey fight?"

"Heard about it through my sources." Francis replied, looking grim, "I do not underestimate your ability to be… tough. In fact, I do so love your… toughness. However, this is not a minor matter to me nor Gilbert. We do not wish to see you hurt."

Way to make Matthew feel worse.

"Franny! Hey, Franny! Oh, hey Matt-Man what's hanging?" Gilbert hurried up, looking excited. Anyone who knew Gilbert knew that when he looked excited it was generally a bad sign. Gilbert tended to get excited when there was chaos or violence or discord of some kind. He hummed some kind of marching tune, one Matthew assumed dated back to some war or another… Gilbert was majoring in Warfare in Contemporary History. Matthew wasn't sure what surprised him more: the history part or the fact that Gilbert held a respectable part time job at a local mechanic shop.

Then again, at the rate he was going, he might actually earn his degree within the next decade, considering Ludwig had already finished his technical degree and set up a business as the younger brother.

Matthew'd like to say the other two members of the trio were just as respectable, but Francis… well, he didn't do much other than his Francis things… sexual harassment and welcome sexual activities and um… he was a sex therapist and relationship counseling. Or in training to be one. He was in several of Matthew's classes; that was how they originally met because they had to work on a project together. Toni mostly played soccer and earned pocket cash by tutoring Spanish. He was getting his degree in Linguistics, although most wondered if he shouldn't be an Agriculture major, considering the time he spent in the school gardens and greenhouses and his infatuation with tomatoes.

Alfred, as a joke, showed him a website all about how evil tomatoes were… and to say it didn't go over well was a massive understatement. It floated like a lead weight inside an air tight iron box. But surprisingly, it was Lovino, who happened to be walking by in the library, who flipped out on Alfred. Screaming that the website was a lie and filth and obviously tomatoes were the best food in the world. How could anyone live without tomatoes? And that was when Toni decided they were a match made in heaven and began his very rocky effort at convincing Lovino that they were soul mates. Needless to say, Alfred was having more luck with Natalia; at least she didn't headbutt him or scream at him in Italian.

"What is it?" Francis looked mildly cross at being interrupted, but also excited.

"Ha, Alfred and Ivan went at it in the cafeteria right after you left. Food was flying everywhere! It was awesome."

Well, that explained why Gilbert had spaghetti hanging from his hair. Matthew had been afraid to ask. And why Ivan and Alfred were having a food fight, well, he was also afraid to ask. They obviously would've left the little lamb to be sheared and served up for dinner while they fought.

Attempt #1 FAIL.

"What the hell were you two doing?" Matthew grumbled crossly at home. Both Ivan and Alfred were looking at each other, on the verge of point to the other. "Don't. Okay, why don't we just drop this? Francis is sorry; he was just looking out for me."

"No, Mattie, Francis was looking to get in you. Gosh, you're so gullible." Alfred retorted and Ivan nodded in agreement with a little giggle, "Francis is devious like that. He wants a piece of sweet ass, and bro, you've got a sweet ass… not that I was looking or anything. Cuz, gross, but that's what I've been told, okay? Right Ivan? Matthew's got a sweet ass?"

"Matvey has a very nice body." Ivan hummed in agreement, his violet eyes raking over Matthew's form speculatively. "But he is very gullible as well."

Matthew glared. He was so not gullible. He had just been very, very drunk and not lucid. Okay, putting it that way he sounded stupid and gullible to go dancing like a slut with a sexual predator around… but he was an adult and he was sober now!

But the plan proceeded any way.

"Hey Francis, can you help me with my French." Matthew hardly needed help with his French. His mother was French-Canadian, and he had been speaking French since he was knee-high. He liked America and English well enough (although not to the feverish extent Alfred did; he took his immigration to America ridiculously serious to the extent that he had an American flag bed set and patriotic condoms for Godssake), and he was happy his mother loved her American husband. But sometimes it was nice to just talk to someone else in French.

"Ah, certainly Matthieu. Shall we speak outside? The weather is magnificent today." Francis said with a slick smile and an incline of his head. Matthew could see how the girls at school called him 'sex on legs' and 'a smooth operator.' The guys weren't nearly so inventive; they mostly just said Francis was a 'hot fuck.' And Matthew would have to agree.

Matthew and Francis settled on a bench and started a conversation in French. The weather was definitely getting winter-ish, as it was too crisp and chilly for fall. Even the trees seemed to have given up and were bare. They spoke about the weather, they talked about class, they talked about food. Somehow the topic of Ivan came up. Francis clucked his tongue and went on a short tirade that started with there were better choices in partners, and he was concerned for Matthew's emotional welfare. It was a strange echo of Arthur's earlier fatherly lecture(s) and Matthew had taken to hiding when he saw Arthur was over; apparently Arthur spent his free time thinking up reasons why Matthew was too good to 'be dating that unstable Russian.' Matthew suspected that Alfred got similar lectures on Natalia.

Matthew spotted Alfred out of the corner of his eye and grimaced. Here goes…

"Waaaaah, Francis, lovely little Lovi rejected me again!" Toni wailed, coming around the corner looking upset.

"Ah, mon ami, this is quite normal, oui?" Francis said gathering his friend up for a comforting (and rather inappropriate) pat. He turned to Matthew, "Excuse me, I must speak with him."

"No, sure, go ahead."

Attempt #2 FAIL

He rolled his eyes later at the 'meeting of war.' Alfred had even drudged up some toy soldiers Arthur had given him as a child to emphasis their positions. He didn't have enough for everyone, so somehow Matthew ended up being represented by a toy hamburger. Since it was coming from Alfred, Matthew took that as a compliment, although he highly doubted that Francis would find a hamburger as bait appealing when he'd rather have a fine steak. Matthew'd like to think of himself as a fine steak.

"Okay, Francis is proving to be tricky. We can't have witnesses, and since Mattie's failing in isolating him for a long time…"

"We were talking for ten minutes! What were you doing?"

"Preparation of the cannon fodder." Alfred said jerking his thumb at Ivan who smiled childishly back, waves rolling off him. The two of them confined together for such a long period of time was taking its toll. Matthew expected another food fight soon. Alfred ignored Ivan and pointed to himself, "And the hero."

"Speed is required." Ivan said, "The plan needs to be simple. It will not fail. Matvey, once more."

With trepidation, Matthew found Francis again. Francis gave him a smile but seemed distracted. He wrote down a few more notes before putting his pen up and glancing at Matthew with a questioning look.

"I do so enjoy your company, Matthieu, however I have to question why you continue to seek me out." Francis said bluntly.

Oh shit, what should he say? He couldn't just blurt out, 'BAAA! Ruuun!' or anything. For one, Francis would think he flipped his lid. For two, his co-conspirers would kill him for warning 'the enemy.' But he couldn't lie and say he just wanted to hang out. He dithered speechless, cursing his slow mind. Alfred would have an excuse ready in 2.2 seconds.

"I see." Francis said neutrally, going back to jot down a few more notes. "Did you get the lecture notes from Ab. Psych.? I was… otherwise engaged, and I would be most appreciative if you would lend them to me."

"Oh, sure," Matthew fumbled around, "Here."

"Merci, your notes are always so concise. Perhaps I should borrow your notes more often, oui?"

Matthew fidgeted nervously. He left like the goat tied up in the rain for the T-rex. He knew an attack was coming, but he didn't know when or where. And there was no guarantee of his safety. He had almost started to relax when he spotted Ivan coming from the opposite direction. He vaguely noticed Lovino and Feliciano watching from behind the librarian desk (Feliciano wasn't a librarian thankfully but tended to hang out with his brother) and groaned. Whatever was going down was going to be all over the school in less than an hour.

Without any preamble, Ivan strode up, grabbed Matthew, and proceeded to do something Matthew had been dreaming of. Well, not all the things Matthew had been dreaming up, but the beginning of the things anyway. Matthew leaned into the kiss, trying to concentrate on Ivan and not the fact that all eyes in the library were now watching them. The kiss ended much too soon for Matthew's tastes and had been a little sloppy.

Francis' face was empty but a well-manicured eyebrow was raised slightly. Matthew looked away, feeling like a total jerk and exhibitionist.

"Matvey is mine." Ivan hissed darkly and Matthew was glad there were no pipes in the library.

"Matthieu is a big boy. Perhaps you should not refer to him as a possession?" Francis replied coldly and narrowed his blue eyes. He didn't look remotely intimated by the hulking Russian towering over him. He flipped his hair and continued to stare at Ivan, "Needless to say, this was highly unnecessary. Did I not relinquish my claim at the party? And additionally, did I not also apologize?"

Without another word Francis packed up his stuff, handing Matthew's notes back, and walked stiff-backed out the door.

Alfred, who had been lurking by the door, took a parting shot with a rubberband gun. Francis barely paused and stuck his nose up further, not even attempting to stoop to their level. Matthew was sure Alfred would probably have some unpleasant consequences come up in the locker room later.

"I think Francis got the message, da?" Ivan remarked cheerfully, "My plan was much better than Alfred's."

"Yes, you've succeeded in letting the whole school know I'm a circus exhibit." Matthew sniped frostily. He felt like an absolute heel about Francis. And as lovely as the kiss was he wasn't sure it was worth the PDA. In front of the Italian twins. The biggest part of blabbermouths in the whole county.

"It is not a problem. You are my boyfriend." Ivan said plainly, clearly not seeing the problem. "I am allowed to kiss you."

"That's not the point." Matthew sighed. He felt like one of those annoying, whiny girls on TV. Kiss me, no don't kiss me! But he didn't want to be kissed out of revenge or kissed as a possession. "Never mind. Are you satisfied?"

"Francis knows now that you are mine. He will not bother you again. So, yes, I am satisfied."

Great.

"Just remember, you're my boyfriend. You need to act like it." Matthew requested, not really sure if what he was saying was going to get through. Ivan looked at him slightly hangdog, like a child who had been scolded. Matthew softened with a smile and grabbed Ivan's hand, clasping them together firmly, "C'mon, let's go to hockey practice."