A/N: Thanks for the numbers… hope you enjoy reading this monster as much as I did writing it (and I'm so NOT responsible for any crack in here… y'all did it on your own this time!).
Chapter Nineteen
God Matthew hated Alfred right now, and it wasn't just the jealousy speaking. He knew somehow that Alfred was the root of his current problem, which came in the form of an overly-nosy and zealous Michelle.
He had managed to avoid Michelle the night before and all day on the slopes. They only reason he was trapped now was because everyone had to come in because Roderich said there was a snowstorm warning in effect. He couldn't even guarantee they'd be allowed to ski tomorrow until the local patrols made sure there were no avalanche problems. Matthew had a blast skiing and he had been looking forward to another few days of losing himself on the slopes. Where he could wiggle out from under Ivan's possessive stares and actions for a few hours, race Alfred and Tino, and hang out with Vash (who was surprisingly good company because he seemed to be the only one who could shut up on occasion) and Ludwig. Thankfully both Ivan and Michelle were forced to lurk on the easier hills (in Michelle's case the bunny hill).
So now they (in addition to some invited and uninvited guests) had headed inside for some hot chocolate and relaxation. Ha, like Matthew would get any of that with his unwanted little leech at his side. She probed him relentlessly about Ivan. What was his favorite color? What did he like to eat? Why did he wear a scarf inside? Did Matthew think his eyes were pretty? Boxers or briefs? What did Matthew treasure about him the most? Did Matthew have sex with him yet?
He sputtered at the last one, turning bright red and shouting (whispering) that it was none of her business. She just laughed and said he better get to it.
He was so hiding Alfred's comic book collection when they got back because he was sure Alfred had spilled something to her.
She didn't stop hounding him, only temporarily getting sidetracked by Vash and Roderich's somewhat stiff ("UST! Big time!") greeting. She made eyes at Gilbert, which made Matthew almost gag, but luckily the egomaniac didn't notice or they'd never hear the end of it. Literally, because Gilbert was a screamer and there was no way this lodge was big enough to muffle that sound.
Abruptly, she disappeared. One minute she was chatting merrily and the next she was across the room with the evident intention of talking to Ivan. Ivan was doing his usual sit-like-a-child routine when he was in the presence of a lot of strangers. More than likely he was sulking because everyone spent the day out in the cold. Matthew knew he hated the cold, even though he was sure that the cold here was a tropical vacation compared to some places in Russia. His violet eyes were trained on Gilbert, who had found beer somewhere and was teasing Ludwig with it, but it was obvious to Matthew most of his attention was on Alfred and Natalia. And none of it was on Matthew.
It was as if he didn't exist.
"Michelle!"
She ignored Matthew, although considering she didn't turn her head maybe she didn't even hear him, and pranced just out of Ivan's immediate reach.
"Hi." She chirped at Ivan leaning forward with her hands behind her back. He shifted his attention towards her, a tight smile on his lips. She didn't seem to notice, but Matthew had been observing Ivan closer than a half-crazy entomologist would a rare species of dung beetle for the last few months. Ivan was radiating displeasure and an interrogation wouldn't make him any happier.
"What do you think about Matthew?"
Ivan, who had been on the verge of giving Michelle his version of a dressing down, sat there with his mouth open. Everyone else was still babbling, not really paying attention. Matthew wanted to step forward, but he was frozen.
Ivan slowly came back to life and gave an indulgent chuckle, "Matvey is my boyfriend."
"But what—mmm!" Alfred popped up with a victory pose and threw Michelle at Gilbert with a smirk. Gilbert dropped his beer as she cannonballed into him, starting a loud squabble, dragging several other people into the row.
Matthew's eyes threatened to pop out of his head. Did Alfred… just… read the atmosphere?
"Hahaha, Michelle, you're such a klutz! It was just a little shove and you're not even drunk yet. Now you owe Gilbo a beer." Alfred cackled and Matthew hung his head, maybe not, "I think we should play a game, and you're the best at coming up with fun stuff."
"Hmm," she tapped her lips looking around. "Well, I guess we could play Monopoly or cards or something."
"Lame." Gilbert snorted, grinning at the fact that she had perched herself on his knee.
"Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelllllllll…"
Abruptly the lights flickered twice before dying. Everyone sat in the dark for a second before a dozen cellphones flipped open, bathing the area in an eerie blue light. Vash took the time to go fiddle with the gas fireplace and Matthew was glad because he was sure he heard the massive central heater shudder into hibernation. Great.
Michelle's voice piped up again, "That kinda limits it. Why don't we play something simple?"
"Like what?"
"Spin the bottle!" she giggled.
Matthew thought that was the stupidest idea ever sober. But Alfred chuckled and Gilbert cackled and all the girls present (counting Feliks but not Natalia anyway) giggled with excitement. He had a sinking feeling the sensible people in the room were outnumbered and outgunned. Because, in his experience, women won when games were involved. They just did.
So when it was put to vote (Matthew grumbled about almost not getting a vote because they skipped him), he wasn't surprised when it was 8 to 9. He was surprised that Ivan was the last vote and he chose to play. Then he wondered if Ivan knew what spin the bottle was… oh shit.
Michelle set them up in a big circle, the gas fireplace blazing merrily to the side, and went off to retrieve a bottle. Matthew sat glumly wedged between Ivan and Alfred, who were bickering over his head.
"Hey there missy, what're the rules? Cuz, uh, I'm not from Alabama or anything." Alfred called to Michelle when she returned with her insidious prop of doom.
"Oh, if it hits Matthieu, then you have to do it!"
Ivan turned questioningly towards Alfred who was gagging and looking at Matthew like he was covered in pockmarks. Matthew stuck his tongue out back and felt a little ill. It wasn't like once upon a time he and Alfred hadn't mock kissed for "practice" but they were like nine! He hadn't touched his brother with his lips in years (mostly out of an empty fear of contracting something).
Vash slammed his hand down, "I refuse to play by those rules."
"Fiiiiiiiiiiiiiine. Incestual relations are strictly optional. Happy now?" Michelle pouted and set the bottle down in the middle.
Gilbert yawned from across the circle where he lounged between Ludwig and Liz. He caught Matthew's look and pointed at himself then at Matthew then winked. Matthew flushed, quite sure that was a natural disaster waiting to happen. He didn't trust Gilbert to keep his tongue (or hands) to himself with permission.
"That's so lame. We need to spice it up to make it more awesome! Penalties and such for losers who don't play by the rules!" Gilbert cackled.
"Oh, and you'd do it to Ludwig if the bottle landed on him?" Alfred shot back smugly.
Gilbert blinked and propped himself up a little further. A leer spread across his face and before his unsuspecting brother could escape, he launched himself on top of the strict German. By the time he was done violating Ludwig's surprised lips, the girls were all laughing and Alfred was gagging. Ludwig shot his brother an irritated look and wiped off his lips but didn't say anything because a bright red flush was cutting around his cheeks.
"I don't need a bottle to do that because I'm the Awesome Me." Gilbert replied with a toothy grin. "I kiss mine, you kiss yours?"
Ivan now looked thoroughly perplexed and a little uneasy. Matthew just hid a small smirk. He had wanted to play after all.
"Alright boys, save it for the game." Michelle commented and Liz shushed her, "No, they can do it now. We don't mind! Twincest is hot!"
"How about the penalty is you have to stand outside?" Tino offered and Matthew glared at his captain. He was so on the evil side. Not that Matthew would mind standing outside; it wasn't THAT cold out. But the fact that Tino was cheerfully cooperating with the bane of sanity and all that was unsafe… he was just a traitor.
"Buck naked!" Gilbert whooped and Alfred grinned in agreement. Of course the two most promiscuous kissers would be in agreement. Matthew rolled his eyes. Even he might mind it if he had to stand outside naked!
"It's too cold for that." Sophie piped up, "And the game would be over too soon. How about for every one you refuse, you have to take off one piece of clothing? And do a lap to the van and back?"
Gilbert grumbled but everyone agreed that was probably more sensible and NOT hypothermia inducing. Matthew didn't mind the cold but he wasn't really that keen on stripping down to his boxers in front of an audience. In fact, there were only two people he'd really like to see him under his boxers in the room and both of them had agreed to this ludicrous game.
"So you strip until you're naked?" Gilbert asked hopefully, giving a sly grin at his brother. Ludwig glared back and clutched his pants. Sophie just laughed at the two and gave Ludwig a reassuring pat on the arm. He glared at her too. Roderich joined him.
It was uncanny how similar the two of them looked when backed into a corner.
"Yup, but by then you might as well just go outside and build an igloo because why even bother to play?" Michelle asked and rolled the bottle towards Tino.
Because you're a bunch of out of control psychos? Matthew wanted to say. He wasn't wearing a lot of clothing right now. He didn't even have slippers on, just socks, boxers, a flannel shirt, and some loose pants. Ivan was in the same boat, looking completely unaffected by the cold, as was Tino and Eduard. Alfred on the other hand was bundled up under long underwear, a shirt, a jacket, pants, three pairs of socks, and dead fake beaver slippers.
Tino expertly spun the bottle and they all stared as it whirled around several times. Matthew stared as it slowed down, inching towards him and Ivan. He had a sneaking suspicion that Tino hadn't even tried for Eduard or Berwald (although Matthew maybe didn't blame him on the last one…).
He groaned as it inched and slowed pointing towards his side of the circle. It wasn't like he had anything against Tino, and if it hit him he could spin next, but he really just wanted to keep his lips to himself. Unless it was Ivan; then he was more than willing to share.
"Looks like it's you and me, Matthew." Tino laughed lightly, his blue eyes crinkled in amusement. He was so with the Devil. He leaned forward and whispered, "I've always wondered if your lips were as soft as they looked…"
It was at that point Matthew was sure Tino had a drink or two. He was always a little creepy (flirtatious?) when he'd had a couple. But Matthew was a bit flattered and briefly considered Tino, but he was so not Matthew's type.
Matthew closed his eyes as Tino's lips slid over his own. He was right; Tino's breath had a slight tinge of alcohol to it. The kiss was brief but hardly chaste. Matthew's mouth tingled as Tino pulled back, licking his lips and looking pleased with himself. He flicked the bottle at Matthew and crawled back across the circle.
Liz whooped.
Matthew blushed brightly, touching his lips lightly. He snatched up the bottle to hide his flush and threw it in the middle of the circle. It careened rather ungracefully, compared to Tino's controlled spin, before slamming to a stop at Berwald's feet. Matthew gulped softly and wondered which would be the better part of valor… stripping his shirt and baring his white chest to the world or kissing the most dangerous guy on the hockey team.
Ivan, who seemed to have caught on to the basic premise of the game, was giving Matthew a childish smile, clearly amused by Matthew's hesitance. Well, maybe he wasn't afraid of Berwald, but Matthew couldn't help but have his insides freeze every time Berwald glared (or blinked or shifted or stood up…).
"Hurry up Matt-Man! Let's get on with the game."
Matthew scurried to pick up the bottle and made the mistake of looking up. Berwald glared down at him looking like a homicidal killer wolverine. With a completely manly squeak, Matthew ripped off his shirt and threw it to the side. Gilbert wolf-whistled and Alfred laughed.
"Real men don't back down!" Alfred laughed and Matthew glared. Berwald looked down cluelessly as Matthew handed him the bottle. The big man shrugged, accepting that Matthew wasn't going to kiss him (and did he look relieved? Matthew was a little insulted!).
Berwald spun the bottle and Liz squealed with glee as it pointed towards Roderich. No doubt she was imaging Berwald topping the hell out of her stuffy boyfriend. Her squeal died as the bottle did one last jerk and landed squarely on her. She gave a sheepish smile at Berwald. He glared back. Her smile wavered a little and Matthew smirked. Berwald continued to glare and Liz meeped. He wouldn't be the only one losing some clothing here.
Liz gulped and leaned forward. Berwald watched impassively as she worked up her courage. She glanced at Roderich, who almost looked pleased (or he was getting turned on—but Matthew didn't want to think about that). Pressing her lips to Berwald's, she held the kiss for a moment before giggling and snatching up the bottle.
While Matthew had been watching the antics of his fellow inmates in this snowy asylum, he failed to notice Ivan sneaking up on him. He jumped when the edge of Ivan's scarf swung against his bare back and gave a watery smile towards the curious Russian. Ivan had issues with personal space, not that Matthew was complaining, and he was leaning over Matthew's shoulder, watching the proceedings with interest.
"Perhaps I will be allowed to spin the bottle." Ivan laughed softly, his words puffing against Matthew's shoulder and neck, "This game is very pointless, like most American games seem to be; however, it is very amusing."
"Yeah, well, you didn't have to kiss Berwald." Matthew mumbled and Ivan smiled against his back making him shiver a little, "Nor did you, my little one. I would much rather kiss Matvey in any case."
And Matvey would much rather that be the case too. As it was, Matthew jerked out from under Ivan and sighed, reminding himself that Ivan was just playing around. He wasn't Matthew's real boyfriend and he was probably hoping to spin the bottle so he could molest Alfred. It obviously hadn't occurred to him yet that Natalia could get her hands on the bottle and doom him to a soul-sucking experience. Well, hopefully that wouldn't happen because it was way too cold for even Ivan outside.
Liz spun the bottle after giving a wink toward Berwald. It rolled and pointed to Vash, who was seated on the other side of his sister next to Roderich. The scowling, blond stared at the bottle as if it were a gun (actually, he'd probably rather it was a loaded gun) and shook his head.
"Hell no. I am not kissing that woman!" Vash yelled in outrage and jumped to his feet. He crossed his arms across his chest and scowled down at Liz, who was more than happy to make kissy faces at him and grin. The fact that she was getting such a violent reaction only spurred her on (and this is why Matthew was sure women were evil).
Liz giggled and suggested slyly, "I'd let you kiss Roderich instead, if you don't want girl cooties."
Vash went entirely red, although Matthew wasn't sure if it was mortification or outrage, and abruptly ripped off his socks. He threw them down in front of him and huffed. Matthew had the feeling he was going to be shirtless on his next spin.
"No?" Liz pouted and Michelle and Heidi giggled. Vash growled and snatched up the bottle, muttering under his breath. He threw the bottle down, probably hoping to break it. It happily bounced on the padded rug and whirled like a drunk turtle.
Matthew instinctively shrank back as it came to his side of the circle. Tino wasn't a bad choice, but he didn't want to have to forfeit another piece of clothing because he had terrible luck with scary blonds.
It rolled past and he breathed in relief (as did Alfred—despite how much he was catcalling, he didn't seem to eager to suck face with most of the guys in the circle). The bottle stopped on Toris. Well, if there was anyone who was bound to have worse luck than Matthew, it'd be the poor massage therapist. Matthew wondered how many times Natalia or Ivan had tried to push him down the slopes today. He had eventually disappeared into the lodge only to emerge with food and drink for everyone.
Vash stared at Toris. Toris' green eyes peered back from under his bangs. His hands were neatly folded in his lap, waiting for Vash's decision. Vash scowled darkly and peeled his sweater off and dumped it on his socks.
"Party pooper!" Gilbert yelled, "Go do a lap in the snow! It ain't like your package is going to get any smaller! Woah, be careful where you point that thing… you might misfire…"
Vash gave up in disgust, tucking the small pistol in his back belt and rolling the bottle towards Toris. Toris looked at the bottle with trepidation before giving it a nudge. It wobbled slightly and picked up a little speed before dying halfway across the circle.
Matthew thought the look on Ludwig's face was priceless. Obviously this was a much better scenario than he was expected (he probably thought Gilbert would have another go). He was probably the first one to actually look happy about his partner. Toris on the other hand regarded the strict German warily. Or he did until Ivan leaned back his way and then he scrambled to the center of the circle to evade the Russian's hands.
Awkward did not begin to describe the kiss but both parties flamed red and retreated with minimal fuss. Michelle sighed and said something about when was it going to be her turn and this was so boring, where was the tongue?
Matthew snuck a look out of the corner of his eye at Ivan. Ivan for his part had his hands clasped in front of him and was watching the bottle with a small smile on his face. The smile started creeping wider and wider as the bottle came closer and he practically looked like he was watching the wheel on the Price is Right to win a boatload of cash.
"I do believe it is my turn, da?" Ivan purred at Ludwig, who looked less than thrilled. This was probably what he was afraid of before. Actually, he looked a little ill at the thought of kissing Ivan, although his stoic demeanor only waivered a tiny bit.
Liz had gotten the camera out.
"Don't be such a pussy, West!" Gilbert hooted, "Give us a show with the russki! Show him what you learned from all that porn under your bed!"
Ludwig shot his brother a dirty look and Alfred snickered while the girls looked interested. Matthew knew all about Ludwig's massive porn collection (it was all Alfred—well, mostly Alfred… and maybe some Gilbert—it didn't matter how Matthew knew Ludwig had a porn collection with dogs!). Suddenly he was picturing Ludwig in a secret police uniform, complete with whip, standing over a defiant Ivan in a tight, skimpy leather outfit. Shaking his head, he cleared that disturbing picture. It was hard to see Ludwig as doing something that kinky.
Right… right? Yeah.
Ivan giggled gleefully and grabbed Ludwig's neck loosely. He pulled Ludwig forward, holding him steady with his big hands, and pressed a harsh, demanding kiss on Ludwig's lips. Instead of backing down, the German fought back, his hands curled into Ivan's coat. The two liplocked, Ludwig's perfect hair getting mussed and Ivan's coat being wrinkled, before they had to break for air. Blue eyes locked with violet eyes before Ivan reluctantly let go. Apparently he wasn't fast enough and was nipped for his troubles, making him cross.
"Ah, if you would like to play so rough and aggressively, I am sure that we could find… a private place to do such things." Ivan chided, dabbing his abused lips with two fingers. He picked up the bottle from beside him, smile restored, and gave it a hard spin.
Matthew started wishing and praying and begging for it to land on him. He hadn't kissed Ivan since getting Francis back and that was way too long ago. If the bottle landed on him, he promised Michelle would get a show and some tongue… he could always say he was just giving him boyfriend a little extra affection.
"The fuck? That is so unawesome!" Gilbert squawked in surprise and disgust. He actually even leapt to his feet when he said it and glared with his finger pointed at Ivan, "He'll eat my face or some disgusting shit like that. Then the Awesome Me will be disfigured!"
"Perhaps it would be an improvement?" Ivan chuckled, his voice giving off creepy vibes and his eyes crinkled in pained amusement.
"Brother, 'don't be a pussy' I believe is what you said." Ludwig reminded Gilbert. Externally he looked the same as ever, but Matthew was sure he was doing mental fist pumps of karmatic glee.
"Yeah, you rabble rouser. Pay your dues." Vash added smugly, "Or do you not have a 'package' at all?"
Sophie and Roderich both looked mildly concerned. Alfred moved forward then changed his mind. Natalia sneered and Michelle gave a little laugh. Matthew just hoped both parties would mutually agree to strip and spare everyone the backlash. It couldn't be pretty.
Gilbert's face twisted into a sneer and he sighed in defeat.
"The Awesome Me is too awesome to be beaten by a stupid game!" he proclaimed loudly, "And this sweater is super comfy. But I am so top."
Ivan giggled darkly.
"If you need to gather your courage, take as much time as you require." Ivan said serenely, his eyes glinting dangerously.
"How 'bout we up the ante." Gilbert smirked and Ivan raised a brow, "You know, make the reward better. Winner gets to wash the taste of the loser out of their mouth with a person of their choice. No more of this bottle shit."
"That sounds pleasing enough. Although I hardly require a reward to win over you." Ivan replied, his hand whipping out at impossible speeds. He slammed Gilbert behind the knees and the albino went down with a crash. The two grappled angrily across the circle, making several people jumped on the furniture to get out of the way.
Matthew just narrowed his eyes. He wasn't about to have his mouth plundered by whoever won. He wasn't stupid; he knew who Gilbert meant. And judging by Alfred's stony expression, he wasn't the only one.
For a moment the two were an indistinguishable mass of flailing limbs. It ended with Ivan being straddled by Gilbert. Gilbert had both hands in a deathgrip on Ivan's scarf and his boots dug into the rug by Ivan's armpits. He was leaning over, kissing furiously, ignoring Ivan's hands on his throat and hair. With a muffled grunt, Ivan used his bulk to dislodge Gilbert, somehow keeping their lips connected in the process, and pushed him back against on coffee table.
"Want to fuck me into the table?" Gilbert hissed darkly through the kiss, "Because that's what I'll be doing to your sweet boyfriend tonight while you go play with his stupid brother."
Ivan gurgled a little around his tightening scarf and bit Gilbert's lip hard enough to make it bleed. Gilbert snarled, slamming their teeth together. At this point several people had gotten up the nerve to at least attempt to separate the two combatants. Ludwig grabbed his brother's scruff and yanked while Alfred was trying to free Ivan and pull him away. Liz's camera was going bonkers and Matthew wondered in the back of his mind if it was going to explode from overuse.
Gilbert sat with blood streaming down his face glaring at Ivan. Ivan looked back with a victorious smile.
"You haven't won, you fucker, so don't give me that shitty grin!"
"Ah, I would prefer not to kill over a harmless game." Ivan said, giving a meaningful glance at the three big dogs that had been watching the action from over by the fireplace. Immediately they leapt up and made a bee-line for Gilbert. He barely had time to yelp before he was covered. Ludwig commanded the dogs off while Alfred hooted.
Ivan looked at Matthew and Matthew felt his chest tighten. Ivan could kiss anyone; he was obviously going to pick Alfred. He never turned down an opportunity to kiss Alfred when he could get away with it (Alfred kind of snakebit himself by explaining mistletoe to Ivan—who then purposely scoped out every doorway Liz had covered and proceeded to lure Matthew's oblivious brother into every single one).
Alfred let go of Ivan and turned to say something to Natalia, who looked ready to take on what was left of Gilbert. Her furious expression didn't diminish at Alfred's calming arm-flailing gestures, but neither Ivan or Gilbert noticed.
Ivan took a few steps towards Matthew and Matthew felt his blood pressure shooting through the roof. Ivan was coming over to him. Ivan was leaving Alfred and choosing him. Ivan was going to kiss him! For the moment he forgot he hating being a prize and really just wanted to be ravished. Ivan would tilt back his head and slid his tongue in demandingly while Matthew would gasp and arch at the sensation. It wouldn't matter that everyone was staring or that Alfred and Gilbert would be glaring; he wouldn't notice any of it.
Unfortunately, Ivan merely sat down back in his spot and fussed with his scarf angrily. Matthew bit back a cry of frustration and let his head thunk down in his lap. His stupid, soft, little heart had gotten his hopes up and it betrayed him. Of course Ivan wasn't going to pick him. He just wanted to win over Gilbert, that was all.
"Michelle, why don't you spin next? While Ludwig gets Gilbert cleaned up." Sophie suggested, holding onto Beck to keep him from going after the retreating pair.
Michelle glanced up from her phone and grinned sheepishly. She mouthed 'Uncle Francis' and tucked the phone back into her cleavage.
She waited while everyone got back in the circle, giving Ivan a hard frown, and gave the bottle a hearty spin. She giggled at Eduard's face. His nose was wrinkled up and he gave Tino a pleading look. It was clear that if the electricity were on and he had some other form of distraction, he wouldn't even be playing.
"Alright, here's to some tongue!" Michelle chirped. Eduard's eyes widen and he hastily threw his jacket down. Michelle pouted, "No fair."
Eduard picked up the bottle and gave it a weak twist. He sighed in relief and Katerina bounced up, clearly happy to participate finally. She did her usual death boob dive, much to Eduard's surprise, and ended up clobbering him.
"Sorry, they are just so heavy." She apologized sheepishly, trying to tuck her massive assets to the side. Eduard cleared his throat and looked away, nervously casting glanced at Ivan and Natalia. Once she got them straightened out, he offered her a chaste peck to the lips and handed her the bottle carefully.
Matthew hoped the bottle would land on Toris. The poor guy could use a break almost as much as Matthew could. But apparently it was kick the underdog in the crotch day because the bottle barely missed Toris and landed on Tino instead.
Tino was a little more prepared for her topheaviness and caught her on the shoulders. Which was actually kind of funny to see, considering he was a few inches shorter than she was. He reached up and gave a nice kiss that lingered probably a little too long.
"This is such a fun game!"
He spun it again, clearly pleased that he got to play another round. The bottle landed on Vash, who predictably lost his pants. Vash grabbed the bottle and hurled it harder at the ground. Unfortunately, all it did was bounce towards Sophie.
Matthew was expecting him to come out clad in his boxers, but surprisingly he managed to give her a begrudging kiss on the cheek. Michelle raised a fuss about legitimacy, but no one really wanted to challenge Vash when they knew he had (a least one) a gun on him.
Ludwig came back sans Gilbert. Sophie asked and Ludwig shook his head. Liz made an unladylike snort at the situation and Matthew felt a little guilty. He hadn't made the two fight, he couldn't even stop them from fighting if he wanted, but he still felt like Gilbert's wounds were partly his fault.
Sophie spun the bottle and clapped delightedly when it landed on Ludwig. He blushed fiercely as Michelle catcalled for some tongue and everyone stared. Ivan was fidgeting next to Matthew, maybe hoping he would get another crack at Ludwig, and Alfred was whispering (which mean talking normally for most people) to Natalia.
Sophie tugged his face down to her level and whispered something to him. Ludwig immediately flushed darker and opened his mouth to retort. She took advantage of his lapse of attention to claim his lips and slip in some tongue. He slowly melted into the kiss, slowing down the pace with gentle pressure. She sighed into his lips before pulling away.
Matthew felt somewhat like a perv. It was one thing to watch two near-strangers give pecks on the lips in good fun. But watching a real kiss being exchanged made him feel like he was invading on their privacy, and it made jealous wiggle in his gut. He wanted Ivan to be the one kissing him gently in front of everyone, showing everyone that they belonged together and needed each other. The fantasy made him sick and he shoved it away roughly.
"I think we will retire for the evening." Sophie remarked, tugging Ludwig to his feet and softly calling the dogs. The jealousy gnawed a little harder as Sophie handed the bottle to Liz and they disappeared into the backrooms.
"At least someone's getting some action." Michelle whooped cheerfully, moving aside for Gilbert to come back into the circle. He snorted, "Yeah right. Those two are like an old married couple. It's past their bed time."
"Uncle Francis says good for you." Michelle told Gilbert. Gilbert smirked, almost reopening his busted lip, and snorted, "Francis is probably weeping like a woman, missing out on all the action."
"Well, that too. Good thing there's a blizzard or he'd drive up here to protect Matthieu himself. Since you failed. His words, not mine."
Gilbert gave a mock sigh, "With unawesome friends like that, who needs enemies?"
"Spinning now!" Liz said, handing Roderich the camera. He was looking extremely unhappy… or at least more than usually, with his brows pinched and a frown on his face. He probably wasn't too happy about all the blood and banging.
Eduard looked at Liz and forfeited his undershirt without any fuss.
He grabbed the bottle and spun it.
Matthew wasn't really paying attention to the bottle anymore. He was getting a little bit tired from such a long day and if it wasn't Ivan spinning (or Gilbert or Alfred—the latter he wanted to avoid kissing) then he really wasn't too interested.
"Let's get this over with." Eduard sighed and Michelle and Liz complained how he'd rather strip than kiss them but would smooch Matthew. Matthew thought that was rather sensible of him, unless he wanted to be running a penalty lap in boxers and socks.
"Think of it as an indirect Tino kiss." Matthew felt stupid saying it but Eduard perked up a little at the prospect.
The kiss was very perfunctory and boring and Matthew was extremely grateful. He hoped he could do this last spin and be done for the night. He was still holding out hope he could hit the slopes again tomorrow. Or failing that he knew there were plastic disks in the back shed and Alfred would be perfectly happy to spend hours racing him down the hills up against the lodge. He was taking full advantage of this winter vacation come hell or blizzard.
Snatching up the bottle, Matthew carelessly flung it, putting more thought into how he was going to slip away to his room.
"Nooo!" Alfred's shriek of despair brought him back to reality. A sickening, twisted, hateful reality intent on gutting him. "That's so not cool!"
"Y-yeah." Matthew whispered in agreement, his eyes wide with fear for his abdominal cavity. Natalia stared back at him unblinking. He was pretty sure by now she understood the mechanics of the game, so he had no idea why she was so calmly watching him like a hawk watching a rabbit doing the hula. Entertainment value? That was more Ivan's style.
"Um, er, eh?" Matthew fumbled smoothly. He didn't hate Natalia but that didn't mean he wasn't scared shitless of her. He thought Berwald was bad, but at least he knew if he declined to kiss the big Swede, he wasn't going to be gutted. He wasn't sure if Natalia would take it as a personal offense if he decided to take a jog in waist deep snow and boxers just to avoid her.
"Hurry up." Natalia snapped.
O-kay, yup, he couldn't take the easy way out without being skinned. Proof that Natalia was, in fact, under all the ice, a woman. Sheesh, men solved their pride issues easily enough (Gilbert and Ivan were proof) without being sneaky about it.
"I'll take the bullet, Mattie!" Alfred whispered to him anxiously. Matthew was pretty sure he was more anxious for Natalia than he was for Matthew. It's not like the damn woman was going to break; she was more likely to break him!
"Nuh-uh Alfred. Mattie's gotta play by the rules." Michelle tsked, although she looked a little ill. Matthew could feel Ivan's unblinking stare on his back and could see Alfred's wide-eyed one to his right. He wondered if Natalia would imagine Alfred's face and lips when they kissed. He hated being a replacement, even in a stupid game.
Matthew crawled up towards Natalia thinking peaceful thoughts. Unfortunately, halfway through his pleasant vision of puppies and kitties frolicking, it turned into a slasher flick. She looked down at him with her pale eyes unnervingly empty. She didn't look nervous or angry or… anything. If anything, she looked like a cat who just noticed a baby bird fluttering around but wasn't quite hungry enough to move.
"Ummm…"
"Have you lost the ability to speak clearly?" Natalia asked with almost no inflection in her tone.
He gulped and placed a soft kiss on her lips, knowing that she'd make him kiss her again if he fucked up the first time. And he didn't think his little heart could take that kind of stress. To his surprise, she relaxed into the kiss letting him lead. Not quite sure what was going on, he deepened the kiss and hoped she wouldn't suddenly snap his lips off.
"Okay, okay, that's enough." Alfred butted in, clearly jealous. He shot Matthew a wounded look and Matthew shrugged back. It wasn't his fault Natalia wanted a real kiss, although for what reason he had no idea.
"Matvey is more pleasurable to kiss than Alfred." Natalia stated, a faint note of surprise in her voice. Matthew's eyebrows jumped up in surprise and Alfred flushed in embarrassment at being shown up by his gay, wallflower brother.
"No way!"
"Haha, taught the boy everything he knows." Gilbert crowed and preened. Matthew shot him a look but didn't argue. Mostly he was too busy being mortified for himself and for Alfred. He hoped his brother wouldn't kill him. It wasn't his fault he was gentler than Alfred!
"Matvey is better?" Ivan asked cocking his head considering, "Perhaps I should kiss both and decide who is the better kisser."
Matthew wanted to point out to him that they were boyfriends and Ivan should already KNOW that he was a fantastic kisser. He wanted to, but if he said that he might not get kissed. He was willing to be a little less nitpicky if it scored for him.
Apparently this point was not lost on Michelle because she flashed Matthew a knowing look that promised a talking-to later on. He almost groaned but remembered his proximity to Natalia and settled for mentally hanging himself. Fuckity fuck fuck, life hated him.
"I'm a way better kisser… tons of girls have said so!" Alfred defended hotly and Natalia gave him a cool look. He grinned sheepishly and added, "Exes, all exes."
Michelle hummed and pranced up to Matthew. Before he could escape, he pressed him into a kiss. He could see she was definitely related to Francis a few seconds in because by that time she practically had her tongue down his throat and was running her hands along his bare chest. He went along with it patiently, knowing if he struggled she'd get him back later. She ended the kiss and licked her lips slowly, thinking hard.
"Well, they're definitely not the same." Michelle hummed expertly, "Totally different styles. But Matthieu is far too timid and slow for my tastes. So I'd have to go with Alfie. He's a firecracker."
Liz opened her mouth and Matthew shouted, "No! Unless the bottle lands on me, no one else is getting my lips tonight."
"Someone needs a few drinks," Liz muttered rebelliously.
"It wasn't my best kiss! I was nervous, the kids tuckered me out, and it was cold outside! Plus, your host family was on the other side of the door waiting for you. I can do better, I promise!" Alfred begged, "Much better. Like blow your mind better."
Alfred continued trying to convince Natalia to let him kiss her so he could show her he was way better than Matthew. So far he wasn't having much luck. Matthew wondered when they kissed to give her a reference. It was probably quick and awkward (even Alfred had self-preservation instincts) and not entirely fair to Alfred's abilities. Not that Matthew was going to complain too much.
It was nice to see Alfred choke for once.
Natalia shoved Alfred out of her face (literally) and snatched up the bottle. She spun it gracefully and everyone watched as it landed square on Ivan. If Natalia were the type, she would be jumping up and down and screaming like a harpy. Instead, a small, victorious smile crept across her lips.
"I knew that if I played, I would get a chance to kiss Ivan." She smirked and Ivan hid behind his scarf, his violet eyes wide over the edges. He looked beseechingly at Matthew, who had to shrug with helplessness. Ivan had wanted to play…
Natalia stalked forward and Ivan had tears collecting at the corners of his eyes. Alfred glared at the two balefully and turned away in a huff. Oh yeah, he was going to be in a snit for the rest of the night. And he probably wouldn't go sledding with Matthew tomorrow either.
"I do not wish to play." Ivan wavered, looking for an escape. Instead he found himself surrounded by enemies. Gilbert leered with vengeful glee while most of the girls looked highly interested. Even Tino, Toris, and Eduard were looking on with (wary and tense) interest while Katerina beamed obliviously.
"Come now Ivan. I will be gentle." Natalia whispered while she practically climbed up on his lap. He shuddered but didn't try to dislodge her. Matthew was actually quite impressed. If this had happened even a month earlier, Ivan probably would have dumped her on her ass and did a long run through the blizzard.
She pressed a kiss to his tight lips, her hands digging into the arms of his coat in case he tried to escape. They sat like that for a while, Natalia trying to coax him into returning the kiss and Ivan petrified. Eventually she sighed and cuddled up to his chest. Matthew thought he might have stopped breathing.
"Ivan is so shy." Natalia murmured with fondness.
Shy? Ivan shy? Were they talking about the same Ivan? The Ivan that stared at Alfred like a tasty chunk of raw steak and got into altercations with practically every alpha male around? The Ivan that deviously showed the Bad Touch Trio up in front of the whole school on several occasions? The Ivan that happily harassed Toris and Yao just because he could? Were they talking about the same Ivan?
"I… need to spin the bottle," Ivan croaked out and she reluctantly slid off his lap.
The bottle rocked shakily, much like Ivan himself, before landing on Feliks' spot. With no Feliks in it. Toris looked around worriedly and Matthew didn't blame him. From what he knew about Feliks, the guy was a genius for getting into weird troubles. And Matthew didn't want to be the one to rescue him from a short skirt wedgie or be used to test out his new beauty products. He seemed to think since he owned a salon he would do them all a favor and give them "free" (guinea pig) products.
"Feliks?" Toris called out. Ivan gave a small smile in anticipation. Feliks was not in the fans of Ivan club. In fact, Matthew was sure after Ivan's nasty tricks, Feliks would have really liked to have drugged Ivan and dressed him like a drag queen clown complete with red nose. Complete with honorary facebook and myspace pictures plastered everywhere.
Feliks came out of the kitchen and blinked.
"Like, you guys were totes boring," Feliks complained munching on what looked like it might have been a s'more.
"Well, it's your turn." Liz said and Feliks raised a perfectly manicured eyebrow at her tone, "Like, who?"
Everyone's heads whipped around towards Ivan. He gave a giggle and a little wave.
Feliks blinked and without a second though shimmied out of both his top and his skirt. Gilbert groaned and Toris held his face in his hands. Katerina giggled and Liz whistled. Roderich looked mortified and Berwald… looked like Berwald. But with a slight quirk to his eyebrow. Matthew wondered if Tino could read every tic and millimeter expression and if there was a guidebook to such a thing.
"Wow, I have that exact same silk set!" Michelle said in a scandalized tone, "But mine's red."
"Red's, like, totes a hooker color for me. But it would like, look fab with your dusky skin tone. You know VS totes has this glitzy blue in the same line?"
Matthew blinked. He did not process a word Feliks said, but Michelle was nodding in agreement.
"Man, I think you were rejected." Alfred smirked and whacked Ivan on the back in mock sympathy, "The dude went down to his skivvies to avoid sucking face with you."
Matthew was sure Feliks really just wanted to show off his expensive lingerie. Oh, and not kiss Ivan, but that was second place to looking fabulous.
Ivan sat down next to Matthew, scooting away from both Natalia and Alfred who were inching in. Matthew could feel Ivan pressing up against him in response. He knew within the next few minutes all four of them would be crammed in one cubic meter. He scooted towards Tino and Toris desperately. Toris took one look and scooted into Katerina. She took the opportunity to give him a small hug, making Ivan stop (and presumably glare deathrays) pushing Matthew.
"Okay, like, I totes need to get my beauty rest, so like, last round." Feliks announced giving a look at Toris and Ivan. Well, mostly Ivan. Matthew suddenly began to wonder if Feliks came to the mountain retreat for the sole reason of keeping an eye on Ivan around his friend Toris. It would explain why he didn't really… well do anything. He mostly hung around inside the lodge (quite sensibly so all things considered) and mooched off Roderich's hospitality and chatted endlessly with Liz. Which was probably the only reason Roderich tolerated his diarrhea commentary about the décor and his hair and the lack of good food and the music and… well, Matthew could go on. He wished he could tune it out as easily as Alfred and Toris seemed to.
Feliks gave the bottle a quick spin, his pink nail polish (which appallingly enough matched his underwear) flashing. He leaned over the bottle and whispered words of encouragement.
It slowed to a stop and everyone held their breath. Except Gilbert who laughed and slapped his knee. Matthew wondered if this was the most fun he had stone sober since he started drinking at a tender under-age of nine.
"NO!" Vash roared, leaping to his feet wearing almost nothing. It was going to be a cold penalty lap for him.
"Oh, chill." Feliks said waving his hand dismissively, "I'm like, not going to eat her out, jeebeebees!"
Heidi gave her brother a smile, "It's okay Vash. I wanted to play too."
Vash glared. Berwald glared. Feliks gave a chershire cat grin and crawled over looking like he was straight out of a bad porno. He sat on his legs and tilted Heidi's face forward gently. She gave him a smile and he laughed.
Leaning forward he gave her a swift peck on the lips.
"Night all!"
Matthew sighed, Ivan pressing against his back almost painfully, and wondered if he'd be able to escape so easily. Somehow, with Ivan's big hand on his thigh and his chin on his shoulder, Matthew really doubted it. Usually Ivan's clinginess was endearing to him, but right now it was literally crushing him.
Heidi picked up the bottle, much to Vash's dismay (dismay was a weak word for it). She spun it with a shy smile and Michelle gave a lecherous grin.
"Finally, some girl on girl action here!" Gilbert hollered excitedly.
Matthew felt his stomach sinking. He hoped Michelle wouldn't do anything… dangerous. Then again, he remembered that she tried to feed bear cubs pieces of fish when they were on a camping trip. Maybe Vash-baiting was just another form of bear-baiting, in which case she pretty much deserved any mauling she received.
"C'mere honey." Michelle grinned playfully. Apparently Heidi had some idea of the danger she was walking into because she hesitated. From what Matthew gathered, they were childhood friends, so Heidi must have known on some level that she was in a pit of quicksand, "Oh c'mon, we're friends. It's not like we haven't done this before."
Gilbert practically drooled all over himself. Vash looked like he was going to explode.
"But that was just p-practice." Heidi's face turned red and she brushed her short bob back out of her eyes.
"So this is just more practice… with an audience. No biggie." Michelle shrugged theatrically. She waded up on her knees and settled comfortably straddling the blond girl's legs with her own.
And the next few minutes of Matthew's life was never, ever coming out of his memory. Ever. Period. Seriously, EVER. Now Matthew considered himself a well-adjusted male with a normal libido, but he had never seen the appeal of lesbian porn (despite being introduced to it multiple times—girl parts didn't really do much for him after all). But in those few minutes he was not only a convert but really needed a bathroom break. Judging by the stunned looks of most of the guys there (and Liz), the feeling was mutual.
"Can I practice too?" Gilbert begged and Alfred nodded in agreement.
Michelle gave him a mischievous smile and waggled her finger at him, "Uncle Franny would kill you."
"I can take Frenchie Fuckface Francis." Gilbert snorted and added hopefully, "And it'd totally be worth it to add my Awesome to the mix."
Vash glowered as Michelle picked up the bottle and spun it. He didn't even move or blink as the bottle pointed to him. Michelle smiled sweetly at him.
"Looks like an encore soap opera performance." Michelle murmured demurely and turned to pick up the bottle. Matthew was sure from Vash's angle he couldn't see the silent low five Michelle and Heidi slipped each other. He decided that he pitied Alfred; this was what he had to contend with for the rest of his life.
"No." Vash said resolutely. "I'm done playing this manipulative, asinine game."
Michelle leaned forward and snagged his shirt. She snuggled into it and watched him. He glared.
"Keep it."
"I'd rather not, but if you're offering up something a little closer to your…"
"Okay Michelle, hurry up." Alfred muttered from where he had finally given up on Natalia, who was curled into Ivan who was still leaning on Matthew.
"Just indulge me… please? You always say no."
"Because no means no." Vash said rebelliously, "And a stupid game isn't going to change that."
She sighed and dropped the shirt in his lap.
"Fine."
They all watched as she set the bottle down next to him and wandered towards the rooms. There was a stunned silence broken by Alfred, "Okay, who's next?"
"Dude, that was harsh and so not awesome." Gilbert muttered, "Way to kil—" He cut off and looked around fearfully. Aster, who had stayed by the fireplace, looked at him. "Way to go. Now the mood sucks."
Vash growled and stomped to his feet, "The damn woman won't give up."
"Brother, she likes you." Heidi said quietly from beside Liz. "And you were mean. I think you should consider apologizing."
"After you run the penalty lap." Gilbert reminded, fiddling with the dog's ears idly. He was stretched out by the fireplace, his red eyes glinting eerily.
"I'll go run the lap." Vash growled, looking more eager to go running in the snow with no clothing than the other half of the proposition. Only Gilbert and Alfred bothered to go watch him flounder through the snow.
By now Ivan's hand had snaked around Matthew's waist and he was comfortably resting completely against him. He obviously had no interested in strangers' disputes and nuzzled into Matthew's neck contently. It would've been perfect if Natalia's ice cold eyes weren't glinting from over the back of his coat.
"Okay, I think Vash is done." Liz said, clicking her tongue. She set her video camera down and snatched up the bottle. She gave Toris a quick kiss on the cheek and he blushed again. Matthew wondered if he looked like that every time Ivan touched him or whispered to him. How embarrassing. At least Toris had a reason.
Toris grabbed the bottle, "Last spin. It's getting late, so I think we should all go to bed. We need some sleep."
"Toris is so nice to be concerned." Ivan piped up sleepily. Toris just inched a little further away and spun the bottle.
It landed on Berwald.
Toris gulped and Berwald glared.
"'n the ch'k's f'ne." Berwald mumbled.
Toris surprised him by leaning forward and placing a careful kiss on his lips. Both parties flustered and Toris gave a smile. Berwald gave what Matthew assumed was a smile in return and Toris paled. He stuttered, probably shocked at his own stupid, martyrristic bravery, and stumbled to his feet. But he still held out a hand to Berwald and helped him up.
Matthew could see why Feliks would stalk his best friend. Toris was too nice sometimes. Deep down everyone probably knew Berwald was fairly harmless and nice, but not everyone was that way.
Matthew gave Ivan a poke to the ribs.
"Bedtime Ivan."
Ivan smiled into his neck and tightened his grip.
Alfred burst back in, shaking snow like an excited dog. He stopped dead and looked at the three on the floor. He started laughing quietly.
"Cute." He chuckled and Matthew stared at him like he had grown another head. He had never heard Alfred use that word out of the context of small children and dogs. He beckoned to Liz, "Lemme see the camera."
Oh hell no. Matthew scowled slightly and tried to wiggle out from under Ivan without much success. Alfred mouthed 'cheese' and Matthew sighed, making a semi-decent expression. It wasn't like anyone would notice him in the picture, but if they did he wanted to look like he wasn't eating horse poop. He risked a glance at Ivan and a fond smile worked its way on his face.
Geez, even crushing him Ivan made him all goopey.
The camera flashed and Matthew sighed again.
Alfred reached down and carefully scooped up Natalia, who was sleeping tangled in Ivan's coat like a puppy. Matthew hoped for Alfred's sake she didn't wake up. He hoisted her up and nudged Ivan with his toe. Ivan grunted in response.
"I'll be back in a minute Mattie." Alfred reassured, "You two can't sleep on the floor; that's too uncomfortable."
Matthew sighed again (and he felt like his lungs might give up if he did it again) and watched as everyone left. Roderich's lodge was clearly designed to host large parties. He had a few suite rooms, one of which he took up and the other Ludwig used, but the rest of the rooms were large, communal rooms with twin bunk beds. He ended up in a room with Ivan, Alfred, and Gilbert (mostly because no one else would tolerate him—Toris flat out refused to let him in with him and Feliks). Matthew supposed that Berwald, Tino, Vash, and Eduard would probably take the third empty room for the night, since they weren't going to brave the blizzard to return to Vash's power-less and ice-cold lodge. The girls took up the second room, which sadly enough was across from his, meaning the giggles and titters kept him up half the night before.
He considered what else might have been going on in the room and groaned. Never. Ever. And he so needed to get laid if that was turning him on.
Alfred came back with a noticeable red mark on his cheek.
"Natalia woke up?"
Alfred grinned sheepishly.
"Ivan, get up."
"Nyet."
"We need to go to bed. Roderich's going to douse the fire, and it's going to be freezing." Matthew tried to reason. Well, he probably would be just fine; he tolerated cold much better than his fair-weather brother.
"Comfortable." Ivan said stubbornly and Matthew couldn't see how he could possibly be comfortable draped across him like a throw rug. "Warm." He nestled in Matthew's hair and Matthew stifled a giggle at the tickle.
"C'mon big guy. Bed." Alfred commanded.
"Yours?" Ivan asked hopefully and Alfred made a face. A sly look came across his face and he tugged on Ivan's arm. "I don't share top, man, you should know that. But I bet Mattie would like some company. He has terrible nightmares sometimes."
"No I don't." Matthew retorted and Alfred rolled his eyes.
Alfred gave up on trying to coax Ivan up and just reached down taking Ivan by the scruff. With a massive heave, he rolled the Russian off Matthew and into the coffee table. Ivan grunted again, this time louder and angrier.
"C'mon Mattie, let's go. Ludwig and Sophie turned on the gas room heater, so it's so toasty in there. And Gilbert's sacked out already, so if we don't hurry we'll never get to sleep with his snoring!"
"Ivan, do you want a blanket?"
Ivan blinked grumpily, his lip poking out and his hair flopping in his eyes. He carefully got to his feet, still looking pouty, which Matthew thought was adorable even though he'd never say it out loud. Alfred had already bounded ahead and the room was empty except for the dying fire, which Roderich had banked. It glowed, giving just enough light to see Ivan's lips curl into a smile.
Matthew really should've known better when he saw that smile but he was really too tired to be on guard.
Ivan swooped down and captured his lips in a harsh kiss. Matthew's brain was several seconds behind his instincts because when he came to he was passionately returning the kiss and trying to throw his arms around Ivan's neck. Ivan stooped down a little lower and held Matthew's arms down firmly, his mouth dominating the kiss. Matthew eagerly tried to get closer and Ivan obliged by letting him go. He shoved up against Ivan so hard the Russian stumbled slightly, but their lips stayed locked together. One of Ivan's hands was up against his neck, his skin burning hot, and the other was fumbling down Matthew's bare side.
His hands ran over Ivan's coat frantically in frustration, and he leaned forward trying to get some friction. Ivan nipped his bottom lip, and he gave a small whimper in return. Ivan's hand trailed down lower, brushing against Matthew's front. Matthew bucked up roughly, groaning when he hit the big palm.
It didn't matter that Ivan was only pretending to be his boyfriend. It didn't matter if they fucked right here in the middle of Roderich's expensive rug. It didn't matter if Ivan was rough. Hell, at this point he didn't even care if Ivan topped. It didn't matter if… Matthew's hazed mind ground to a halt. Well, actually, it went up in flames and died in agony. Ivan had wanted in Alfred's bed. Ivan was using him because he looked like Alfred… Alfred's replacement.
He wanted to say that didn't matter, but it did. It mattered more than anything. It mattered more than meaningless sex.
He slowed down reluctantly and shoved Ivan back. Ivan peered down and even in the low light Matthew could see confusion all over his face. Slowly Ivan's face dissolved into its normal child-like smile and Ivan sung out, "Matvey is a much better kisser than Alfred. I enjoyed my prize very much!"
See? Matthew knew it. He was only kissed because Ivan was thinking of Alfred. And even though the verdict fell in his favor, he was pissed and horny and in no mood for anything but a cold shower. He wasn't an experiment and he wasn't a prize and he sure as hell wasn't Alfred.
He growled softly, wishing Gilbert hadn't gone to sleep so soon. But he knew from experience that waking Gilbert up was like trying to shake a coma patient awake. Ludwig had to use a bullhorn and ice water on a good day.
"Great. Thanks. Better get to bed." Matthew huffed, detangling from Ivan abruptly. He missed Ivan's hurt look and stomped back towards the rooms. He didn't miss Michelle and Alfred lingering in the hall (in fact, he aimed a kick at Alfred's retreating butt), but he blew past them.
He was in bed and pretending to be fast asleep by the time Alfred and Ivan crept into the room. He heard Alfred jump in the other top bunk and felt Ivan settled into the one beneath him.
Why'd Ivan have to be so stupid? Why'd he have to be so stupid as to like Ivan? He groaned and buried his head in his pillow. He intended to spend all day outside and talking only to squirrels tomorrow.