Author's note: In case you haven't picked up on the pattern here, it's Blaine-Dave-Kurt, a chapter each before starting the cycle over again.
WARNINGS: This is Kurt's chapter. He's dealing with being sexually assaulted. This is an angsty chapter. You could avoid his chapters if you needed to.
CHAPTER THREE
He doesn't sleep well, instead falling asleep from sheer exhaustion for tiny cat-naps before jolting awake with gasping breaths and kicking legs. He's cold but he can't stand to have the blankets on top of him. He gives up on sleep at six, and he's only been home for less than four hours, but he doesn't care. He's already had a shower, but he needs another one. When he cleans the shower before getting in he suspects that he's not okay, but he doesn't care.
When he walks into the kitchen his dad and Carol stop talking, both turning to him and he hates the pity he sees in their eyes. Although it could be worry, but he imagines it's definitely pity. He sniffs and sets about making himself a coffee. He needs something to keep him awake, and making coffee is keeping his hands busy at least. He needs to get out of the kitchen before –
"Did…can…we need to talk."
Kurt looks at his dad with bleak eyes and shrugs. The last thing he wants to do is talk, especially to his dad. He wants to forget it, expunge it from his head, knows it will be impossible, but it's not going to stop him from trying.
"What happened. I need to know Kurt. We need to go to the police and –"
"No! No. Nothing happened…"
He doesn't want people to know. He already struggles with the boys accepting him as one of the guys, not something he always wants to associate with, but being… used… He doesn't even know how to think about it. What kind of name to give it. But that's okay, giving it a name makes it more real. And he definitely doesn't want to go to the police, to have to describe it all in painstaking detail. No.
"Don't lie to me Kurt. Something happened. And right now my mind is coming up with all these different scenarios, and I'm making myself sick with worry…so please, just tell me. Where did you go last night?"
"Scandals. It's…"
"The gay bar? You went to a bar? How did you even get in to a bar?"
"Not important right now honey…"
Kurt chews on his lips and shoots Carol an appreciative glance.
"We went to the bar to dance. I…danced. It was fun…"
"Didn't look like you had any fun when you got home last night."
"Dave…found me."
"How? Anyway, what was he doing at… oh. Oh. Huh. I didn't expect that."
For a brief second he's distracted, he told Dave last night that he wouldn't tell anyone, and he really means it. Doesn't want Dave put in any position where he would be uncomfortable, especially considering how helpful he was last night.
"You can't tell anyone dad, he's not out."
"Sure. Just tell me what happened. Please."
"Blaine was… drunk. He was all hands and I don't even know how it happened…" The crying starts, huge gasping sobs and he feels Carol move to his other side and put her arms around him, his dad on his other side, and he feels warn and secure in the circle of the arms around him, supporting him and he's sure they're the only reason he's still standing.
"Did he rape you?" His dad's voice is hard. Flat. Icy cold.
"No. But he…tried. He…got me trapped under him and just…"
He can't say anymore, feels his stomach churning again, the coffee heavy in his stomach, sour. His dad is crushing him, arms circling tight, and he doesn't need to say anything more.
He cleans.
Carol works beside him occasionally, but she is quiet, lays a gentle hand on his when she leaves to go and make a lunch he doesn't eat. He's upstairs when the doorbell rings and he jumps when he hears the door slam shut. He peers out the window and he sees Blaine's car, and his heart starts racing, palms sweaty and he's suddenly filled with anger. Furious that Blaine has made him feel this way. Furious with himself that he trusted him. That he wasn't strong enough to fight him off. Everything.
He can't do anything to Blaine. Doesn't want to see him anyway, and he's refusing to think about school tomorrow. He walks to his room, hears his dad's raised voice, and he sounds as angry as he feels. His room is spotlessly clean, except he hasn't touched certain things. He's decided though, and he goes to the kitchen to get a garbage bag.
Ruthless. It's the only word he can think of that describes his mood. He goes through his photo board, and every photo with Blaine goes into the bag. Next he goes through his clothes. Anything that Blaine has ever said he liked goes into the bag. His favorite scarf, because Blaine was the last person to wear it and it smells of his cologne. The clothes from last night and he gags, smelling his own vomit. He pulls his phone from the pant pocket and grits his teeth as he deletes Blaine's contact details. The unheard phone messages and texts. Deletes all the photos. Changes his background from a picture of Blaine blowing him a kiss to one of his dad, Carol Finn and himself on the day of the wedding.
As he's deleting the photos, a painstaking process as it turns out, he realizes he needs to delete them off his computer as well. He's fairly certain he's going to need new crowns with the amount of teeth grinding he's doing, as his desktop picture pops up. Another one of Blaine. Changed to a picture of the glee club in New York. He logs on to Facebook and deletes his relationship status completely. Changing it would raise questions, hopefully just removing it, along with a few other things, will go unnoticed.
He then deletes all photos from his profile page with Blaine. Then un-tags himself from all other photos with Blaine in them belonging to other people. Then he removes Blaine as a friend and blocks him. He increases his security settings and deletes all messages from Blaine, making sure he can't be tagged in any photos by anyone. No one can mention his location. No one can add him as a friend without messaging him first.
He pauses, hand hovering over the track pad and he can see his reflection from the screen, and his face is red and blotchy. He flicks open to Finn's page, wondering if he has Dave listed as a friend. No. He tries Puck next. Also no. Mike. No. He flicks back to Finn and scans through his list of friends. Azimio Adams. He clicks. Sure enough he can now view Azimio's friends, and halfway through is Dave Karofsky.
He doesn't want to request him as a friend. Like changing his relationship status it would just raise too many questions among his friends. But he also doesn't want Dave telling anyone, and he's grateful that Dave goes to a different school, that he won't have someone walking around knowing. He selects the 'send message' option and starts typing.
David, I just wanted to thank you again for your help last night. I am very grateful that you were there. I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't been there. I would request you as a friend, however I know that you don't want rumors, and unfortunately a friendship status with me on Facebook in a town like Lima is paramount to wearing a pink suede cowboy hat. Anything a bit out of the ordinary you know?
He adds in his e-mail address, saying he wouldn't mind exchanging the odd e-mail if he ever felt like it and he feels a tiny bit calmer.