A/N: Happy Holidays everyone. Here's some well deserved AlxNat.

Natalia sat quietly, enjoying the quiet and the fire that was blazing behind her. It was the last day of their holiday in the mountains and most of the other people were outside skiing or skating. She was dressed to go out, but she was taking a moment to be alone and think.

And she had a lot to think about.

She was considering going back home after the break. There was little reason to stay in America now, when she had lost Ivan. Bitterness and disappointment clawed at her, but she fought it. She had lost her hope, lost it to another. But Ivan seemed content, a small silver lining in her misery. There was not much to tempt her about the goodness of life right now.

As a child, she had grown up adoring Ivan. He was her playmate and her protector. When she was told that they were to be married, it seemed like a dream come true. She would marry Ivan, they would have children and make a life together; she wouldn't have to face uncertainty or cruelty because she knew Ivan loved her, cherished her. Once she was married, then she was an adult; she would cease to be the sick child everyone doted on and worried over. She could be independent because Ivan would understand. He would support her decisions.

But he was not as happy with their parents' decree as she was. He drew away, baffling and hurting her. Didn't Ivan like her anymore? Had she done something wrong? Didn't Ivan want to be her husband? She would be a good wife for him.

The harder she tried to hold on to him, to convince him she would be a good wife, the more he ran away. She didn't think he was playing hard to get, not at all. But she had no idea how to tell him about her devotion, so she just tried harder to show him, to convince him.

And he merely continued to shatter her dream, her perfect future time and time again.

Eventually she wasn't even sure she wanted to marry Ivan; he obviously no longer cared for her. In fact, he seemed to hate her. He hurt her and ran from her. When he disappeared to America without a word, she almost gave up. Ivan did not love her.

But she had seen an opportunity, a way to be independent and away from her family's wishes. She could go to America too, under the guise of accompanying Ivan, and she could do what she wished. Her plan, as ill-thought out and hasty as it was, had worked. She was in America, living with a friendly American family, taking ice skating lessons (her family would be appalled that she was willingly subjecting herself to cold!), taking classes, and doing things she could have only wished for back home.

So when she found Ivan, she went through the motions of chasing him, convincing herself that if she tried hard enough, he'd love her back. The more she chased and the more she convinced, the more she actually thought she did want Ivan.

And she may have falsely stayed in love with Ivan, if not for Alfred.

Alfred.

The man was a puzzle to her.

He was bright and energetic and quite intelligent, yet he missed the simplest things imaginable. He did not notice her disapproving glances and seemed immune to disappointment. He ate the most disgusting food and was loud and persistent, annoyingly so. He held and went to loud, drunken parties and played American football, which she could not understand the appeal of. He also harassed his brother and Ivan frequently, sometimes crudely, as well as his close friends, needling and mocking them. He was immensely popular and girls tried to catch his interest where ever he went. He had to know everyone else's business, including hers, and frequently wedged himself into business that did not concern him.

But he was also very caring and kind and patient. He carelessly threw his help around to whoever requested it, not paying attention to what he received in return. She knew he volunteered at the local YMCA on the weeknights he didn't follow her to ice skating (she had, of course, noticed him immediately). He supported his brother unconditionally, which Natalia had hated most of all, despite pretending she could not tell the difference between the two. She was aware of Alfred's part in Ivan's recent conquest, and she could not bring herself to forgive him for it.

But he wanted her.

He was kind and patient with her, taking her scolding and rebuffs graciously and coming back for more. He flattered her, he complimented her, and his whole face lit up blindingly when he saw her. She was not foolish enough to think he did that for others; she had seen the polite, charismatic smiles he gave other girls.

When he had held his hand out to her on the ice, she reluctantly consented. But as they flowed through the dance seamlessly, she couldn't help but notice his grace and gentleness and warmth. He executed the routine flawlessly, holding her just firmly enough to keep her from falling but allowing her to complete her part of the dance. They fit together like years-old partners, not two individuals who danced together for the first time.

It was beautiful.

It was frightening.

He had started out as an obstacle and now she was not sure what he was to her. She was only just becoming aware of how she acted around him without thinking. How she unconsciously tracked him with her eyes or scooted over in silent invitation to sit near her. How she let him touch her in ways she had hoped Ivan would, holding her hands and even kissing her.

She had lied when she said Matvey was the better kisser. She was hoping to dissuade Ivan from Alfred, although she hadn't specifically thought of it that way until later that night in the dark. Since when was she coveting something Ivan wanted? Since when did she want something other than Ivan?

"Hey, can I sit here?"

She jumped in surprise and whirled to see the object of her thoughts. He was holding two mugs and had a happy smile on his face. He was also wind-whipped and had rapidly melting snowflakes in his hair.

She moved over in invitation and he handed her a mug. It was coffee, of course, but she held it between her hands savoring the warmth. He plopped down next to her, drinking his coffee noisily (he did most things noisily, she noticed).

"Going out? It's the last day here." Alfred finally said. He gave a lazy tilt of his head towards the window, his mouth still hovering over the coffee and a smirk on his face, "We could go up on the hills together."

She knew Alfred was surprisingly good at skiing, as was his brother. Ivan was quite good as well, which she was sure Matvey was going to find out on the advanced slopes today. If he had been under the assumption that Ivan was a poor skier because Ivan had been ignoring and avoiding him, then he was not that bright. The vindictive part of her hoped that Matvey suffered for his arrogant assumptions. She didn't bother to smother it.

She accepted that Ivan loved another, but she was not attempting to be cordial or amiable about it.

"No thank you." Natalia replied, pretending to still look out the window. "I was thinking alone. It is quiet and easy to concentrate here."

And it had been, since Feliks, Michelle, and Elizabetha had migrated to another lodge. There was literally no one else left in the lodge before Alfred came.

"Oh, shit, sorry. I thought you might want some coffee or something cuz you were just chillin'." Alfred looked crestfallen, like he had just stomped on her foot in a dance. He made to get up, "I'll go. You continue on."

Impulsively she grabbed his hand. He froze and gave her a wide-eyed look. She almost dropped his hand, but she forced herself to tug him back down. He complied immediately, still looking at her questioningly. Her cheeks burned with embarrassment and she hung on tighter.

"Please stay." She managed to say, her lips and tongue fighting her for every short syllable. She almost spilled them out in her native tongue, she was fumbling so much. Taking a massive breath, and fighting off shyness and propriety, she whispered hurriedly, "I enjoy your company."

Alfred gave her a brilliant smile, practically radiating joy, and she felt a small shiver go through her. She could make him this happy, so happy the whole world could see it.

"Er, I got you something." Alfred said excited and awkward. He fished around in his coat pocket and pulled out a small, velvet box. He flushed and stammered, "I didn't want to give it to you in front of everyone this morning. Um, I didn't even know if you'd like it. But I… Merry Christmas Natalia."

Natalia put her hands out and felt the soft box nestle innocently in her palm. Of course, her first thought was that it was a ring, and a range of emotions flashed through her. But then she realized that he had said Christmas. So it was a Christmas gift of some kind.

Slowly, she pried open the box and peered inside, her hand falling down across her face. In the silk compartment, a beautiful necklace nestled. The chain coiled gracefully over the curves of the box and glistened in the sunlight. A small, delicate chrysanthemum, crafted carefully out of what looked like a pearl with silver petal outlines hung in the center.

She ran a delicate finger over it, caressing it softly, appreciating the intricate craftsmanship of the piece.

"I instantly thought it suited you." Alfred's voice broke into her silent observation. He reached over her wrist and carefully threaded the chain through his big fingers. He motioned towards her and she nodded, pulling her hair back and letting him clasp the necklace around her neck. "There. You make it look beautiful, Natalia."

Natalia felt like she couldn't breathe. She prided herself on her composure; she was cool, distant, above it all. It was the only way she could be as a child, to avoid being pitied. But now she was torn in so many different directions, and she couldn't do a thing. She didn't know how. She didn't know how to bring people close, how to make them love her, she only knew how to drive them away; Ivan was proof of that.

She couldn't do a thing she wanted, so she cried.

Cried in frustration, cried in loneliness, cried in loss. Cried in happiness and joy. Cried in confusion.

She couldn't remember the last time she had just cried.

And Alfred just drew her in close and held her to his chest. Eventually her sobs died down, leaving her drained but also lighter. Alfred let her go, searching her face with endless-sky blue eyes, worried and concerned. He put his thumb to her cheek and wiped off a stray tear gently.

"Better now? I didn't mean to make you cry." Alfred truly sounded sorry. "I thought you'd like it."

She swallowed, mastering herself again, and said deliberately, "Thank you, Alfred. It is beautiful. I will cherish it. Thank you."

And she knew she wasn't just saying thank you for only the necklace. Alfred gave her an understanding smile, and she knew that he understood what she was trying to say.

"Do you want to go skating then?"

She wiped her face a few more times before nodding and fingering the necklace. The word partners sprang unbidden to her mind and she just gave a small smile.