Author's note: Thanks for all the reviews, I really appreciate them with this story as it's so different from the fluff I normally write.
Warning/Trigger: ANGST. Mention of sexual assault.
CHAPTER SEVEN
He tries ringing Kurt again later that night and his blood runs cold.
'Your number has been blocked.' A recorded voice informs him.
"Shit."
It's really serious then. He'd already known it was serious, but this is confirmation that he's clearly done something unforgiveable. He wants to know what it is, needs to know, but the only person who can tell him is Kurt. Who isn't talking to him. Which leaves the guy who drove them home on Saturday night, who is probably Dave Karofsky, but might not be.
If it was him then he's screwed because he has no idea how to contact him; and besides, he's always been a bit intimidated by the sheer size of Karofsky, although he'd never admit that to Kurt. The fact that Kurt even confronted the guy, alone, makes him admire Kurt. Although in hindsight if he'd known just how big Karofsky was he'd have told him to stay the hell away.
He leaves for McKinley a little bit earlier the next morning. He knows Kurt was at school yesterday, that he had somehow managed to evade him, although he has no idea how. He didn't see Kurt's car, and he looked for it. The only thing he can think of is that Kurt got a ride with Finn and either arrived early, unlikely if he was with Finn, or late. But that means he should have spotted him.
He pulls pen and paper out of his locker, quickly writing a note, and he feels odd apologizing for something he doesn't even remember, but he knows Kurt, if he doesn't apologize then he has no chance of talking to him at all.
I'm sorry. Really sorry. Please just talk to me okay? I need to talk to you. Please.
He slips the note into Kurt's locker, feeling old-school, but right now it's his only means of communication that Kurt can't block, and even then there's no guarantee that he'll read it. And that's a depressing thought. He really wants to make it right, can't even think of any reason why Kurt would be so angry at him that he would cut him out of his life completely. He starts running through scenarios in his head.
Sebastian. Did he make out with Sebastian? No. Surely Seb would have said something if he'd done something like that. Right? He sends him a text to ask, just in case.
'No, we didn't get our groove on. Especially with Mr. Frosty there. Complete buzz kill.'
He frowns. Maybe he's said something to Kurt then. Or Sebastian simply pissed Kurt off so much and by association he's been tarnished? None of this seems severe enough to warrant Kurt's reaction. Maybe he ruined Kurt's shoes? Clothing? Threw up on them or…something? He can't think of anything. Except for making out with Sebastian, which he apparently didn't do. Maybe he said something about Sebastian? Oh god…did he break up with Kurt? It doesn't make sense. Nothing makes sense. Except it would explain the cold shoulder treatment, the seemingly systematic removal and blocking he's getting everywhere.
He feels almost panicked, stomach clenching and his eyes are darting to every face, desperately seeking out Kurt. He needs to talk to him. Has to talk to him. Except he has no more luck spotting him than yesterday. He watches the other members of the glee clubs, and none of them seem to notice the absence of Kurt. The absence of Kurt who is usually at his side. It feels wrong, like he's in an alternate universe and he's the one out of place.
It's after lunch that he finally catches a glimpse of who he thought was Kurt, except dressed in a simple t-shirt and jeans… He does a double take, certain his eyes are playing tricks. But no. It's definitely Kurt. Finally!
"Kurt!"
Kurt's pace picks up, stride lengthening and damn his extra height and long legs.
"Kurt! Stop…!"
At least he's not actually running, but his pace is definitely increasing, and he has to start jogging to just maintain the space between them.
"Kurt!"
He finally catches up, reaches out for his arm, brushes it, and suddenly Kurt is whirling on him, eyes flashing and he automatically takes a step back, hand dropping. He's never seen Kurt look so furious before. He takes another step back.
"Do not touch me."
"I…sorry. I just wanted to talk to you – "
"Well I don't want to talk to you!"
"Kurt, no, you have to listen to me!"
"Listen to you? The same way you listened to me on Saturday night?"
"What? I…I don't remember what happened. Please…"
"You don't remember? I wish that I could forget."
"Don't you think you're maybe over reacting just a bit?"
"NO! You don't remember what happened? Well, you wouldn't listen to me that night, but you will listen to me now. You want to know what happened? You used me. I begged you to stop, and you know what you did? You put a hand over my mouth. So no, I don't think I am over acting. We are over. You do not even exist to me any more. You do not get to speak to me, you do not get to sing to me and you definitely don't get to touch me. Not ever again."
Kurt turns on his heels and stalks away, and he can't help admire that even dressed the way he is Kurt looks poised and perfect. Then he repeats Kurt's words in his head, his stomach clenches. Oh god. His body starts to shake. He loves Kurt, the idea that he's… oh god. He's hurt him. Raped him? Oh god… Blackness.
He comes to on the floor, the nurse kneeling beside him and a crowd of students standing watch. Great. He lets her lead him to the sick room on shaky legs and agrees when she suggests that he should maybe go home. They ring his mom and he has to wait for her to come and pick him up, not prepared to let him drive home after apparently passing out. He wants to believe he misheard Kurt, that he didn't mean what he said, but it all makes sense and he feels sick, and sure enough he throws up into a trash can, the nurse tsk-ing in worry.
He travels home in silence, wanting to cry. He still doesn't know exactly what he's done, but Kurt's words are resonating in his head, repeating over and over again… used me, begged you, hand over my mouth. It paints a horrifying picture and he can't even begin to imagine how Kurt is feeling. Knows how Kurt feels about sex. Or felt about sex. His feelings have undoubtedly changed and Blaine can't blame him, he'll do as Kurt wishes and stay away from him.