Open up your heart to me now, let it all come pouring out.
There's nothing I can't take.
"What the hell 'appened to you Ron? You look like you could with a glass of me best bottle of red eh babe?" Ronnie didn't answer as she sank down onto the sofa, drinking the glass of wine Carla gave her in mouthful and then curling herself into a ball and laying her head down, her arms wrapped around her knees, trying to shut out the world.
Carla watched her for a while, the way her body seemed smaller somehow, if that were possible. The way her eyes seemed empty, as though they were simply glazed over with a mist.
"So where is he then? At home with the little one I take it?"
"He's dead." Ronnie's voice had no emotion as she said those two words. It didn't even sound like her saying it. She sounded empty, lost, all fighting spirit had long been ripped from her exhausted body.
Carla sat up straight, eyes wide with shock "Jack's dead? What, when Ronnie? What happened?" The thought of losing her only brother killed her inside. It brought her back to the times she had cradled Paul's lifeless body and screamed internally as Liam was wheeled away from her, his body limp, just like his brother's had been.
Jack and Carla had always been close growing up, he'd look out for her, protect her when their mum got so drunk she couldn't see straight, kept her away from men with prying eyes. She'd relied on him, and still did.
He'd moved to London as soon as he'd turned 18 and she'd missed him desperately. He wanted more from life than joining his druggie mates on the street corner and getting off his face, so he'd joined up with the police and Carla had never been more proud. She did all she could to show him she could better herself too, she didn't want to let him down by turning out like their mother.
"Not Jack, not Jack, James. James is dead. He's dead Carla and I left him, I left him there alone and he's dead. He needs me. Oh God Carla he needs me, he needs his mummy!" Ronnie worked herself into a frenzy as she stood up from the sofa, suddenly realising what had happened in the last 24 hours. It hit her like an avalanche, knocking her at full speed.
"I've got to go, what am I doing here? I need to go home, I need to get help. Help, I need to get him help. He was so cold Carla, and he won't cry, I just can't make him cry. I've got to go, I've got to get help. James needs help, he needs my help.
Carla felt relief flood her body knowing that her brother was still alive, but it only took a second for reality to kick in. She felt sick rise to her throat as Ronnie's words washed over her. And them, instinct kicked in.
"Ronnie stop, wait!" Carla ran to the door to stop her leaving, she knew that if she left her alone now that anything could happen. "Ronnie love, calm down. You can't go home now, it's late. Jack will be with James won't he? He'll get help."
"Jack wasn't there, he isn't there. I need to go, I need to get my baby"
"Does Jack know?"
"Does Jack know what?" Ronnie looked at her like she crazy, not understanding
"Does Jack know what's happened Ronnie? Where's James?"
"He doesn't know, I can't tell him, I can't. I just need to go home, I need to go home and get my baby, I need to get him help. Jack will be home soon, he'll be home and I need to get James help before. I'll take him to the hospital, because they can get him warm can't they? They'll warm him up won't they Carla?
She pulled on her coat, intent on getting her son help. She knew, in her heart that it was too late but she couldn't bring herself to believe it, because if she believed it she had nothing.
"Ronnie, he's dead, James' dead" Carla pulled at her sister in law, trying pulling her into her arms as she stumbled, her legs no longer carrying the weight of her body as she collapsed. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry" Carla's voice broke with emotion as she spoke, the thought of Ronnie cradling her dead son tore at her heart, she wouldn't cry though. She would hold it together because Carla was the only person Ronnie didn't have to be strong for. She could fall apart and Carla would help pick up the pieces time after time.
Ronnie sobbed and sobbed in Carla's arms as they sat on her kitchen floor, leaning against the kitchen counter. She cradled the broken woman in her arms, whispering words of love and comfort.
She knew that in a while, they'd have to sort out the mess she had left back in London. But for now, Ronnie's world could come crashing down into a thousand pieces and it wouldn't matter because Carla was there. And she'd help to put them back together. The cracks would still show, but the glue would be strong enough to keep them up.