Patient's POV

I shook the doubt from my thoughts and started to draw. My grasp on the pencil started causing me pain, and I couldn't keep from shaking. My energy felt like it was drained. I looked up at the ceiling, wishing I could see the sky, because I knew it was time.

I looked at the drawing I had started, and it was good enough. I reached for the pink paper, my breathing becoming rushed in scared anticipation.

I folded each line carefully, thinking about all the things I knew how to fold. This would be perfect, though. "I..." I tried to say, but my voice wasn't audible. I forced a smile, and in a few seconds it became genuine. Smiles were magic like that.

I put the drawing and the folded pink paper into the envelope, and held it, waiting for my nurse to enter.

She came in, her bored and pessimistic expression still present, and I wished I could change that. She waited at the doorway, looking at me. When I didn't throw an airplane, or say 'what if,' she walked over with an annoyed expression.

I reached out, but drew my arm back to my side when she looked at me warningly. I continued to smile though, and she narrowed her eyes.

Using the last of my energy, I swung my legs to the side of the bed so that I could sit up. Pain coursing through my body, I reached shakily into the drawer. As I pulled out my envelope, I thought about how I hadn't even been here a week.

I hadn't even been here a week, but it was already ending. I wanted the nurse to smile, I wanted her to know what I felt. I wished so desperately that it was all just an act, that she was really trying to hide her emotions. I couldn't bring myself to believe that though, I had seemed to realize that she really wouldn't change.

What had happened during the week replayed in my head, and it felt like forever, even though it was only a matter of seconds. There were so many times I could have told her, so many times I could have asked her, and so many times I could have changed it. I didn't want to, though. She didn't need to change, but I couldn't help but hope she would.

I realized I was still smiling, and I was glad. I didn't to falter now, when I was so close. She had to realize. She had to know what it was like. I looked at the envelope that was in my hands, and closed my eyes. Bringing it up to my face, I kissed it gently, and held it out to the nurse.

Her eyes weren't narrowed any more, and I thought she might actually look...surprised. She stared at it, looking like she was in a trance, and I felt my heart pound faster.

Death. I ignored it. I had to hold on, until she realized. I didn't want to leave yet. I smiled, waiting. She still had the envelope, and I felt my grasp on life loosening.

My life definitely didn't flash before my eyes. However, time did slow down. It was as if all my memories were on the tip of my tongue, but I couldn't remember anything, and all I could do was stare at the space in front of me.

I didn't even know if I was still alive, if maybe after I died I'd just stay frozen in my final memory, but I could feel myself smiling. I saw the nurse's gaze shift from the envelope to me, and her eyes widened. I wondered if she was watching me die.

I felt myself start to fall, my muscles finally giving up, and I closed my eyes. It was like slow motion, and pain started to disappear. I felt myself pulling the IV bag over, and I made sure to smile until the very end.