Episode 3: Up to Our Antics Pt. 1

A/N:

General Disclaimer: These fanfictions STAND ALONE. Unless otherwise specified, the plot will have little to no connection to following Emily Reader fics. I do not own Hetalia, only the OCs and the plot. EMILY READER AND HER FRIENDS ARE RAPIDLY CHANGING CHARACTERS. Their back stories, age, profession, etc. will change with the fics. Please understand.

The only language I currently speak fluently is English, and American English at that. I have a small vocabulary in German, and bits and pieces of Japanese, Spanish, French, and Italian. If anything is incorrect, blame Google Translate, not me. Any language corrections would be greatly appreciated.

I apologize for any spelling or grammatical errors. If there are any glaring ones I missed, feel free to tell me. Also, I'm sorry for any OOCness and stuff. And characters that I may wound/kill. Just remember that they'll probably be alive in the next fic.

Okay, thanks for bearing with me. If you've gotten this far, THANK YOU SO MUCH. I wish you loads of happy Emily Reader-ness. Art and more can be found on my DA page, and there's a link to that on my profile. Please enjoy!

Okay! This is part one of an ongoing series. The first 3 parts are written, and will be next here, but after that, I'll hafta post them at the end. I'll probably sort them in order when the series is finished. SO YEAH ENJOYS.

Episode 3: Up To Our Antics (PT 1)

Pairing: PrussiaXEmily, RussiaXHaruka, JordanXSamantha (Vable), SuFin, and some other implied pairings….XD

Rating: T for MAJOR LANGUAGE. And implications and dirty jokes and violence… and language…

Ugh. MORNING. Rolling over, I glanced at my clock. Nine o'clock. After having a minor heart attack, I realized it was Saturday. The only thing expected of me on Saturdays was to make bacon for me and Sam. Nine o'clock. She'd be here at nine thirty.

The next half hour was uneventful. I made my bed sort of, it looked like I slept on top of the covers, although that wasn't abnormal for me. I stared at the mirror, and wished it would make me look nice. It didn't work. I was too lazy to get dressed myself, so I picked my way into the kitchen in my pajamas; my hair a frizzy mess. I pulled the bacon out of the fridge and began to fry it up.

Nine thirty.

Bacon's done. I divvied it up onto two plates and poured milk. For good measure I opened up a bottle of chocolate syrup and dumped half into each glass. My whole apartment smelled like bacon, so I opened a window.

Nine thirty-five.

Where's Sam? I mean, she's punctual to begin with, but when there's bacon involved? Finally someone knocked.

"Finally, you're here… you're not Sam." I scowled at the visitor. "Giiiiiilbeeeert. Why in the fu-!"

"Bacon."

"What?"

"I smelled bacon. YOU GOTTA GIMME THAT BACON."

"Nuh-uh! My bacon." No one fucks with my bacon.

"Gimme the bacon-!" He growled and launched himself at me. I ducked and he went sailing over my head. Unfortunately, he was in the apartment now, and dove for the bacon. Grabbing a handful, he shoved it in his mouth. Ha, shoved it in his mouth, ha that's she said… I guess. Well no, that would be what he said…hm. Wait! Bitch's got my bacon.

"Awesome bacon." He grinned, showing off his mouthful of food. I grimaced, and kneed him in the balls. He gulped and fell on the floor, face first in a pile of dirty clothes. "Not awesome…" he groaned.

"What's not awesome. Ooh! Bacon!"

"Ruka~" I smiled sweetly, barring my teeth. "My. Bacon."

"Sure, sure." She shrugged. "Where's Sam?"

"She's not here yet, WHICH MEANS..." I waved a finger around for effect, "She slept over at Jordan's." Silence. We then both shuttered.

"So dudes, since your friends a slut, you wanna go to the mall?"

"And why would we want to go with you? And Sam's not a slut!"

"I have A LIST." He held up a multipage pack of papers. Haruka's chocolate eyes lit up like Christmas lights.

"What, for Santa?"

"No! 333 ways to get kicked out of the mall." Gilbert grinned. Aw crap. I can't resist one of those. But, Emily Reader does not give in. Nuh-uh. No sir. "Please?" He begged. I mean, honestly begged. I have a hard time resisting Alfred's puppy dog eyes, but Gilbert's were just…wow. They're red, which is kind of scary, but they're so big and wet and … that's what she said, isn't it? I think he saw me wavering between pride and fun, and decided to hit it home. "West heard from Roderich who heard from Elizaveta that Tino and Bewald were going~!"

"Really?" I knew my face lit up like a Christmas tree. Tino and Berwald at the mall at Christmas was a recipe for fluffy yaoi. I realized I was grinning and forced my face to drop. "Fine, but you're buying lunch. And Ruka gets to come."

"Alright Fraulein. You go change or whatever and I'll go grab my wallet filled with AWESOME~! Kesese~!" He strode out, snickering.

Haruka was still grinning manically, muttering, something about strait jackets and the voices. She spends way too much time around Ivan. Suddenly her eyes snapped into focus and she turned towards the door, staring at it. It swung open again, revealing a perky Feliks.

"Dzień dobry! I heard something about a mall trip, and oh, you are totally NOT fit to go to the mall." Feliks pulled out a brush and began to do my hair as if it were the most normal thing in the world. After much fussing he stepped back and grinned. "There! Fabulous! Now!" he grabbed my hand and dragged me off to my closet.

:::::::::::::~*oOo*~:::::::::::::

Ah, the sweet smell of the mall. Perfume kiosks, soft pretzels, and-!

"Oh my god, that shirt is SO cute!"

"IKR!"

Popular girls. Oh how I hated popular girls. Pulling my glare away from them I realized I had been abandoned. Luckily, Haruka was easy enough to find, ogling a scarf stand. Gilbert…

Oh Gilbert.

I face palmed and walked next to him…who was staring into the Victoria's Secret.

"Gil. Gil. Gilbert." I poked him. His complete astonishment with the bras was funny. I took a picture, and reach for the wallet sticking out of his back pocket. I flipped it open.

Damn. This thing was filled with awesome. I strolled over to Haruka and slapped twenty bucks on the scarf in front of her. She squealed and bought it from a very bored looking clerk. She shot a happy look at me, and then saw Gilbert over my shoulder. We exchanged looks and strode over to him.

"Hey, Gil~!" I said, followed by the expected silence.

"Does Mr. Awesomeness need a bra?" Nothing. Ruka deflated slightly.

I scanned the window, picking out the laciest, most skimpy bra I could find, and pointed to it dramatically. "Oh, I'm wearing that one!"

Finally I got a reaction, and he turned, giving me an incredulous look. "…Really, Fraulein?"

"No, come on, let's get a look at that list, shall we?"

A/N: THEYS WILL BE TROLLING LE MALL LIKE A BAWS. It will be amazing. Oh, and I started this WAY before Christmas, so keep that in mind, cuz it kinda ends mistletoey…