((another long stretch... sorry! Too busy with work... and cops. I hate cops right now. Two miles over the speed limit on a HIGHWAY and they still pull you over?! Bull shit!! end rant Okay... sorry about that, too. Anyway, here's my loyal, mistreated reviewers!))

Me and Gaara 4ever

WHAT THE HELL?! POOR NARUTO!
-falls off of bed, laughing-
FUNNY! CANT WAIT FOR MORE! CHA!
((I hope I don't let you down!!))

The Angle Serenity

OMG IM ACTUALY REVUEING WITH MY PEN NAME! XD (tis me kina) funny chapter,
loved it when you added the fungi that is cloaths XD that would be me check
outmeh story please! till the next revue
The Angel Serenity (aka kina)
((I'll try to! BTW, love your penname!!))

Gaara-frenzy

poor gaara. he's doomed. thats the simple fact. he's doomed. update soon
please!! XD

((although that is the simple fact, Gaara both knows it and doesn't know it. What can I say-- he's "hopeful"... did I make him stupid in that respect?? is hiding from the real Gaara now))

VampireGaaraCheesepuffs

The easiest way to get someone to do somein for you:
Buy them food XD
O.o ...I bet a cat was under that shirt! .
The cheetos aren't working! They demand Cheesepuffs! O.o
VGC
And just as u said, everything you love ALL in ONE SUPREMELY and ANNOYINGLY
LONG PenName .

((is breaking out the cheesepuffs .))

Something Diabolical

Ahh. i agree with xXTwilight-KunoichiXx. over protective mothers we have in
common. except she actually doesnt want my on the internet at all... or tv...
anyways. i loved this chapter. i was trying soo hard not to laugh and draw
attention to myself. (im in the library) lol. anyways. you should update soon.
:waves around a cup of pudding: you know waant to...

((spoon?? puppy eyes))

Rin-Tsukihime13

LMAO. Naruto got whipped.
For some reason, I have a feeling that Naruto is going to go out onto the
streets of Konoha and scream,
"Gaara, THE Gaara, is trying to fall in love! It must be the apocalpyse!"
Anyways, keep up the good work and update soon! .

((naw... he wouldn't do that... is not looking Rin-Tsukihime in the eyes No, I won't let him do something that bad... he's already gonna screw Gaara over with his lack of love knowledge btw, do you have a spoon??))

Of.Two.minds

"Naruto Uzumaki...are you sure you are the ONLY living thing in this house?"
Haha man that's priceless especially when he forced Naruto to clean. I wonder
how many times Gaara had to kill some 'supposedly inanimate' object that
growled at them? The world will never know and I really hope Naruto can think
of something in time...well even if he didn't we all know Gaara would win
anyway...well I'm going to stop since I'm apparently babbling in comments now
BYE!

((lol babble away-- you have two minds after all jk :P anyway, just so everyone knows, all of the reviews above this point were made on the 31st of August is reminded of how late she is for the update that's seven people who were waiting for her to get off her butt and write! TT.TT I'M SORRY!! in total Ritsu-mode I APOLOGIZE TO THE WORLD FOR MY LAZINESS!! IIII'MMM SOOOOOO SOOOOOORRRY!! Fruits Basket fan))

sprite21

XD It is in fact a miracle. Still, to ask Naruto. I've been reading this all
day. I've become your latest reviewer! Or is it reviewie? Hm... Can't wait
for the next update! YAY! loves Gaara too much

((Gaara thinks Naruto is a good guy... plus he's probably the only one that'll help him. Gaara's just too scary for everyone else... hugs Gaara I love his scaryness))

Mrs. Neji Uchiha

I can empathasize with Naruto! My bedroom looks like that right now with all
the junk I have to have 4 skool. Gaara didn't exactly make a good choice for
love advisor. W/e. Update soon!

((I know... but it'll be funnier when Gaara actually realizes his mistake and reacts to them in that way that we all swoon over))

((now, without futher ado!))

Chapter 29: Training Day 1

Naruto couldn't believe what had happened the day before. Gaara showed up, made him clean his room, and now he was awaking to some ungodly hour to train Gaara to the art of love?? He still didn't understand how Gaara figured that the blond knew ANYTHING about love. But hey, he knew he'd liked Sakura even if she was totally into Sasuke. That had to count for something, right?

Then again, it was too early to think of anything. So he slumped over to the kitchen, sat in his chair, and effectively fell over, snoozing once again. But that was short lived. Itchy, scratchy sand yanked him up and a displeased, impatient Gaara stood in the corner. "You shouldn't be this tired-- it's 6 in the morning. Eat and teach me, Naruto."

Naruto stood shakily and yawned. "You're insane... and why the rush? We've got plenty of time..."

"You do, I don't. I won't let him win. And he will leave Suna as soon as I fall in love with her." It was either that or the bastard Genma stayed. He did NOT want to see that ugly face everywhere he went. And he was sure to follow.

"I still can't believe that you-- Gaara, the most cold-hearted scourge of the desert-- wants to love a fangirl..." the fox-carrier mumbled, struggling with making his morning ramen. When the redhead glared at him, he coughed and said, "Someone else called you that... it wasn't me. I just repeated it because it sounded... remnant?"

"That's relevant, you moron."

"Hey, who's teachin' who?!" Naruto shouted. Even when he was half dead, he still reacted to the teeniest insult.

"And yet, you can't even speak properly... how on earth did I deem you worthy of teaching me?"

"You can always pick someone else..."

"But then I'd have to kill you. You'd have too much free time to blurt out this secret training and that is something I cannot afford."

"Jeez... you're serious? You'd really kill me?"

"I'm serious... DEAD serious."

After breakfast, which only Naruto ate because Gaara didn't want any ramen, the boy's found themselves in a convenience store, looking at magazines. Dirty magazines. Naruto was blushing lecherously but Gaara still didn't understand how this was supposed to train him to love a girl. "What are we doing, you pervert?"

"Duh, we're seeing what kinda girl you like. That's always the first step in fallin' in love. Now keep your voice down... if someone sees us, we're gonna get beat up by the owner. What do you think about the jugs on this one?"

When Naruto turned to show Gaara the picture, he came face to face with a very displeased elderly man and the redhead was nowhere to be seen. "Naruto Uzumaki..." Next thing the blond knew, he was literally being kicked out by the owner who shouted, "... HOW DARE YOU DRAG SAND INTO MY STORE AND PEEP AT THOSE DIRTY MAGAZINES!!"

"Just so you know, Naruto... I don't need to find the type of girl that I have to like. There is only one."

"But all of my precious research--"

"-- has turned you into a pervert. At least in the eyes of those who saw you reading them and the ears of those who heard that old man."

Naruto shook his head. "You're wrong. Pervy Sage is the one who made me into a pervert!"

"So stupidity is contagious..." Gaara replied blankly. He connected pervertedness to stupidity.

"What?! Did you just call me stupid?!"

"Only a fool would waste his time reading those things when he could get the real thing," Gaara retorted, not even seeming mad.

"Like you'll ever get it with that kinda attitude!" Naruto shouted.

"What do you mean?" he asked, thinking, 'Go ahead, idiot, dig yourself into a bigger ditch than you are already in...'

"You're so blase all the time! If you're happy or sad or mad, no one can tell! So what girl's gonna wanna be with you in any way that YOU think is PERVERTED?!"

"Her name is Chikage. And she's been begging for me to take her in that way. It just so happens that there's this new guy that I hate even more than you. And we made a bet that I must fall in love with her before she falls in love with him."

Naruto couldn't even think of how many things were wrong with that bet. So he just asked softly, "You mean you're forcing yourself to love this girl because of a guy?"

"Yes."

"Why not just fall in love with the guy then?" Naruto asked before running for his life.

((okay! finally done and I thank you even more for your extremely EXTREME patients with my lack of punctual-ness. I put that little yaoi-joke in at the end for my friend who's totally into it! so review and I'll try to find more time to put on chapters... TT.TT God, I miss making a chapter a day... wasn't that the life?))