((So I lied. I will not be redoing this story because... well, because I tried and got lazy. Everyone else seems to enjoy my writing style and just because one person didn't like it doesn't mean I have to change. So sorry to those who think that my style is the worst thing since (whatever is bad to you) but if you don't like it, then do not continue to read it. Unfortunately, as I do not have internet, I will not put up the reviews from the last, um, year or so.))

Chapter 35: Lost and Found

Gaara searched high and low, gazing into shops where he knew that women shopped at. Lucky for him, even lingerie saleswomen were afraid to bat their brooms at him. So he was not punished for intruding on the land of bras and panties. However, he couldn't find Chikage. She was nowhere. When he came across Genma, he sneered and turned to look in another location... before he noticed that the black-haired pretty boy seemed to have been missing something.

Walking up, he asked, "Lose something?" His voice was quiet and gravelly, disliking the fact that he was actually there to find out something about his missing female (friend?).

Genma's green eyes widened before looking away. "Yeah, I can't seem to find her anywhere... And all because of a stupid conversation we had."

"How is your engagement stupid?" At Gaara's words, the young man pressed his lips together tightly, trying to think of something to say that would get him out of this. But he wouldn't have it. "You lied to me, didn't you? Temari told me what happened and I can get those papers annulled. But I need to find Chikage before you put your half-baked scheme to the plate. I'll make it so that she has to consent to the engagement. Just the perks of being Kazekage..."

"You're not the Kazekage! Everyone is afraid of you! Why would they pick you over someone who hasn't killed his own people?" Genma's face was red as he slipped up. He was showing his true colors in their brilliant form. "They told me what you did... killing your own uncle. I bet you killed your father too so you could get the title of village leader. You're nothing but a greedy sunuva bitch who never should have been allowed to live. Why don't you just leave and never come back?"

Gaara looked at him before snorting. "I've killed people for saying less. Are you trying to get me to kill you? Not going to work. Chikage would hate me if I killed you. She shouldn't have to be a widow in case she has fallen for you. But let me guess... you've been trying as pathetically as you can, rambling on and on about what she could have if she were with you. She promised me that she wouldn't fall in love while I was gone. Now I will find her before you do and she will love me again for the man that I will become in the future..."

He turned away from the black-haired young man and walked away, knowing that though he had to look into the future, all the answers were in the past. He couldn't just jump into bed and love someone. He had raped the only person who cared about him way back when, using her love for him as an excuse. He couldn't do that anymore. He couldn't pretend that everything was okay, that he could do whatever he wanted. It was time for him to be a man and own up to his responsibilities. How could he become a true leader with any less?

He stopped in the alley he had turned into, sea foam eyes wide in wonder. When had he come to that realization? He still felt the same, still didn't know what love was or if he was capable of it. But it was something that he had read long ago... you can't expect someone to love you if you don't love yourself. He was half way there! All this time... but he couldn't love himself. His words meant nothing to him. He spoke about only loving himself and living for himself, knowing that that could never happen. He was a demon, a destroyer.

She was an angel to love him as much as she did. He denied her for his own sake. He pushed her away to protect himself. He felt that if he accepted her love, it would tear him apart and leave him half a man. But maybe... just maybe... that love could save him.

The answer to where she was, was hidden in the past. And with that thought, Gaara knew exactly where she was. And he teleported himself to her side as she gently pet a fox by his swing set. Kids didn't play there anymore for fear that he would kill them. But she wasn't afraid. She was never afraid. He looked down at her and he felt an odd warmth in his chest.

"Chikage..."

((Short chapter... but it seemed like a good place to stop. Sorry.))