Chapter Eight- A Dinner Date
Dr Laura Hobson sat down after Robbie pulled out a chair for her and pushed it in after the pathologist had been seated for a moment. Although the ambiance of the pizza parlour at which the two had gathered was simple and casual, Robbie still insisted on performing little old-fashioned gestures of formality. It was one of the more-endearing facets of his character, and it constantly reminded Laura that—contrary to popular belief—chivalry was not yet dead.
"So, what sort of pizza do you like?" Robbie asked after he had resumed his own seat.
"Oh, er… all kinds. What kind do you like?"
"Cheese, pepperoni, ham, vegetable. 'Bout the only topping I hate is anchovies."
Laura smiled. "I really don't care for them either."
"Me dad used to love 'em, though," Lewis said, his eyes glinting with nostalgia. "I remember, every year on his birthday, me mum would make homemade anchovy pizza. We'd all have to eat it. No excuses. So, I'd pick off all the little bits off my slice and casually slip them under the table to the dog."
"Did you ever get caught?"
"No, but I did make Fido sick to his stomach once. I remember being so upset that I told Dad everything."
"What did he do?"
"At first, he just laughed, and then he refused to let me go to my older cousin's cricket game the next week. I was a bit miffed, but deep down, I really thought I deserved worse. I was so worried that I'd killed Fido."
"Had you?" Hobson asked, her expression grave.
"No, he lived another three years after that, but I never fed another anchovy to him."
"I'm not surprised," said Laura, laughing as she returned her gaze to the menu.
"So, is pepperoni and ham alright, then?" Robbie asked.
"That sounds wonderful." Laura carefully studied Robbie over her menu. "You aregoing to let me pay for myself this time, aren't you, Robbie?"
"Of course not. Me dad always told me that it's always proper for the bloke to pay when he asks a girl on a date."
Laura sighed. Robbie's traditional side was also one of the more annoying facets of his character.
"That may have been the case in your father's day, but this is the twenty-first century. It's all about equality."
"Ah but there's the problem, Laura. Men and women in general may be equal, but we're not. You're a much better person than I am."
Laura wondered why Robbie was so hard on himself. She suspected that it must have something to do with the fact that Lewis had been unable to save Val from her fate. As if he could have done anything!
"Robbie…"
"It's true," Lewis said glumly. "Today, for instance, I was unnecessarily harsh with James. He probably hates me right now."
"I'm no better than you are. I fully intend to interrogate Jean the moment I return to the house. I've always wanted to talk to another woman about what it's like to snog the 'dishy sergeant.'"
Robbie felt a touch of concern. What was that comment supposed to mean? Laura had always mentioned that she found James attractive, and the whole Hathaway/Innocent affair made Robbie wonder if James had always had a taste for "older women."
"Let's not talk about that," Lewis said uncomfortably.
A waiter appeared at the table to collect their order and went off to fetch their drinks.
"So, anyway, do you and James have any leads on the case?" Laura asked, genuinely interested in Robbie's response.
"Well, right now we're looking at the possibility that Mr Innocent's occupation might have been what made him a target. We've examined the list of recent foreclosures and evictions in hopes of finding a possible connection. We've also questioned his colleagues, but none of them seems to have a strong enough motive."
The waiter returned with their sodas, and Laura took a sip of hers.
"Have you questioned Jean yet? I mean… I know she didn't commit the murder, but she might have a vengeful ex-boyfriend or something…"
Lewis blushed. "No, I haven't questioned her yet. Between James's revelation, your medical query, and Malcolm's innuendos, I feel that that I've learned more than enough about Jean Innocent's love life for the day."
"Yes, I suppose you have."
The two sat in silence for awhile until Hobson suddenly let out an odd sort of giggle.
"What are you sniggering about?" Lewis asked curiously.
Hobson took a deep breath to slow her laughter. "The whole thing with James. It's kind of funny when you think about it."
"You think so?"
Laura nodded. "Yeah, I do actually, just the way that both James and Jean completely overreacted about the whole thing. Their response was so… predictable, and yet the kiss itself was so unexpected."
Robbie stroked his chin thoughtfully. "You know, now that I really think about it, it shouldn't really have come as a complete shock to us. We should have foreseen that it might've happened. I did kind of throw them together yesterday. And didn't James call her 'remarkable' or something as well?"
"Yes, but its one thing to call someone remarkable and to be her shoulder to cry on. It's another thing to snog that someone."
"Remember, he claims he was drunk." Lewis said
"Oh, I know. That's the only detail that makes this matter at all plausible." Hobson replied earnestly.
Robbie shot the pathologist a look. "Now, Laura, don't be mean. The chief super's not really all that terrible. She can be downright charming when she really wants to be, and she isquite attractive. "
Laura crossed her arms. "I'm not calling Jean unattractive. Quite the contrary, she's far too attractive for her own good. I only meant that she doesn't seem to be James's type."
"Well, there is the age difference, but other than that, I don't see why she wouldn't be his type: she's intelligent, diligent, good-looking…"
"And extremely narrow-minded. She's also petty, spoiled, vindictive, and proud."
Lewis wondered if this was more of Laura's jealousy coming out. Sure, Innocent was narrow-minded, proud, and spoiled (though Hathaway was no different in those regards), but Lewis thought calling the chief superintendent " vindictive" and " petty" was a bit cruel of the pathologist.
Laura continued. "Besides, I've always thought that James preferred blondes."
There it was again, another comment that might imply that there was more to Hobson and Hathaway's relationship than Lewis had been aware of. Lewis felt that he needed clarification before things got more out-of-hand than they already were
"Er, Laura," Lewis said nervously. "Sorry, but the whole thing with Innocent has got me somewhat paranoid… Have you… and James… Have you ever…?"
"Have we ever what?"
"Er… you know," Lewis said uncomfortably.
"Have we ever what? Held hands? Danced too close? Snogged? Fooled around in your office after hours?"
"Erm… any of the above?"
"No!" Hobson said, giving him a scrutinizing look. "What on earth gave you that idea?"
"Well, you just said that you thought that Hathaway preferred blonde women!"
"I was referring to Fiona McKendrick!"
"Yeah, but what about Scarlet Mortmaigne and Zoë Kenneth? Neither of them was blonde."
"Well, I'm sorrythat I chose to disregard psychopathic transsexuals and spineless debutantes from my analysis of James's love life!"
"And then, earlier, you mentioned wanting to talk to another girl about what it's like to kiss Hathaway."
" I only meant that I was curious to obtain the female perspective on what it wouldbe like if I ever were to try it—something that I'm not about to do, because, believe it or not, I am committed to this relationship!"
Lewis held up his hands. "All right, I believe you. I just wanted to be sure."
A disturbing thought occurred to Laura. She studied Robbie suspiciously. "Wait! Have youkissed Jean? Is that where all of the mistrust and conspiracy theories are coming from? You have a secret that you don't want me to know about so you assume that the same applies to me!"
"Laura, I never!"
Laura rose to her feet angrily. "I'm not sure I believe you. I thought it was a bit odd of you to ask me to dinner twice in the same week, but now it all makes sense! You wanted to reassure me that all is right in our relationship when you know perfectly well that isn't!"
"Laura, calm down; you're making a scene!"
It was true. Several of the other people in the restaurant were openly staring at the pair of them in shock. Hobson noticed this and resumed her seat. She stopped her shouting but continued to stare daggers at Lewis.
"Laura, I would never lie to you. I haven't kissed or done anything resembling kissing to Jean Innocent. Ask her if you don't believe me."
"But you don't deny that you've had the opportunity? You don't deny that at least a small part of you is curious to try it?"
"It's the same small part of you that wants to snog Hathaway! I'm not going to deny my curiosity. I'm only human, Laura. But I'm not going to do anything about it! Like you, I'm committed to our relationship."
Laura looked somewhat relieved, so Robbie continued. "Besides, the chief super is my boss and I'm forbidden to get involved with her."
A scowl returned to Laura's face.
"And didn't you ask her to change the policy today? I'll bet you were secretly hoping to pull a Hathaway once the stupid rule changed!"
"I was joking when I asked her to change the rule. Although, changing the policy mighthelp out James the next time he loses his mind and decides Innocent is his soul mate."
"Oh that would be convenient for you—wouldn't it? Our relationship would be perfectlyrepaired by the pairing up of the two people most likely to jeopardize it!" Hobson said bitterly.
"Laura, for someone who prides herself on being open-minded and rational, you're certainly acting like a bloody fool! I have no desire to 'pair' up Innocent and Hathaway, nor do I feel that they are in any way likely to jeopardize our relationship. What is—however—likely to jeopardize it is your completely baseless jealousy of the chief super. And it is completely baseless! Yes, Jean is attractive, but you're the one that I want. You're the one that makes me laugh when I'm with you and brood when I'm alone. You'rethe one who makes me want to be the best man that I can possibly be!"
Hobson opened her mouth to respond and then closed it. She took another sip of her soda as she considered what Robbie had just said. Lewis looked at her expectantly. Laura was spared the discomforting task of answering as the waiter arrived a moment later with their pizza.
Robbie and Laura each took a slice, and the waiter left. They sat in silence for a moment before Robbie spoke again.
"I meant what I said, Laura, every word of it. I have no intention of getting involved with Innocent. Besides, she's going to have her hands full keeping Malcolm at bay."
Hobson didn't say anything; she merely continued to chew her pizza.
Lewis reached across the table to touch the hand that rested beside Laura's plate.
"I love you, Laura," he said sincerely.
They looked into each other's eyes for a minute.
"I love you too, Robbie," Laura finally said.
The moment ended when Lewis's mobile rang loudly. He removed his hand from Laura's and took the phone out of his pocket.
"Lewis," he said once he'd lifted the phone to his ear.
"Hello, Sir," said Hathaway's voice. "Are you having a nice date? Tell the lovely doctor that I said 'hello.'"
"Laura, James says 'hello.'"
"Hello, James," Hobson said pleasantly.
After gesturing to Hobson, Lewis went off to go stand in a more private corner.
"This reminds me, James. Did you sign the sympathy card that I sent around for Innocent?"
"I'm actually trying to compose my message as we speak. It's difficult. I want to be comforting, but not so comforting that she thinks I'm questioning our personal and professional relationship."
"Anythingwill look acceptable after Malcolm's message. Did you read his?"
"I think so. His is the one that begins with the saccharine metaphor about the rose that retains its loveliness even after the flash flood sweeps away all else—isn't it?"
"It is if it's the one that ends with 'I would love to offer my condolences in person over champagne. Why don't you stop by my hotel room anytime this week? Eternally Yours, Harvey.'"
"He's not exactly subtle, is he?" James said disgustedly.
"No, he's not." Lewis made a face.
"Oh, speaking of which, I just remembered why I called. You'll never guess what Malcolm wants us to do next as part of our investigation."
"What?"
It was then that Hathaway shared the dreadful news.
"The perverted sod!" Lewis exclaimed. "How is that even relevant to the investigation?"
"Don't ask me!" Lewis heard Hathaway take a sharp intake of breath on the other line before continuing. "God! When Innocent finds out about this, she's going to kill us all!"
"Don't you meanif she finds out?"
"No, I mean when. I think our dear friend Harvey devised this entire exercise as a way of attracting her attention."
Lewis groaned. "Well, it will certainly do that! I just hope Malcolm is aware that it will attract the wrong kind of attention. When Innocent hears about it, she'll want to strangle him—not to shag him."
"You can say that again! Well, just thought that I'd let you know, sir. He wants to brief us on the assignment in an hour. He's expecting you back by then."
"But I'm on a date!"
"He knows. He says that a policeman's first duty is to his position—not to affairs of the heart." Hathaway said, giving an excellent impression of Malcolm's most pompous manner.
"I've half a mind to tell him to follow his own advice!" Lewis said angrily.
"I've already told him for both of us."
Remembering James's uncooperative manner with Malcolm earlier, Robbie grew concerned that his sergeant was misbehaving again. "James, please remember what I said about Malcolm."
"Don't worry, Sir. I've been good. I've held my tongue as well as I possibly can."
"Well, just keep it up. I'd hate to think of what would happen if you got yourself suspended and I had to deal with Malcolm all by myself."
"You wouldn't be by yourself. Jean and Laura would still be very much on your side."
"Jeanwould be; I'm not so sure about Laura."
"Why? What's happened?"
"I mentioned that I found Innocent attractive, and now Laura's become a jealous wreck. First, she accused me of snogging Jean behind her back. Although I explained that I hadn't, she didn't seem to believe me. Then she accused me of conspiring to change the police romance policy so that I could 'pull a Hathaway' as she would have it once the policy changed. Finally, she accused me of encouraging your relationship with the chief super so that the two of you wouldn't threaten our relationship."
"I understand Jean as a threat to your relationship, but how do I fit into the equation?"
"Laura told me that she's always wanted to talk to another woman about what it's like to snog the dishy sergeant."
"So, she's allowed to fantasize about kissing me, but you're not allowed to harbour even slightly romantic thoughts about Jean? That doesn't seem fair."
"No, it doesn't."
"Women are so irrational. My relationship with Innocent is no less complicated right now. I have to overanalyze everything that I say or do to make sure that she hasn't gotten the wrong impression."
"Just solve the case quickly and efficiently for her, and you'll be back in her good books in no time."
"I sincerely hope so. Any way, I'll let you get back to your date. See you in an hour."
"Bye," Robbie turned off his phone and went back to re-join Laura at the table.
"Sorry about that," he said.
The rest of their date went far better than before. Neither of them mentioned Jean or James, so the two of them were able to converse far more civilly than they had previously. True to his word, Robbie picked up the bill. However he did magnanimously let Laura leave a tip for the waiter at the pathologist's request. Afterward, Lewis dropped Hobson off at her house. Although Laura's goodnight kiss was a good deal less passionate than Lewis would have liked, it was, however, a more enthusiastic farewell than the one that Robbie had expected, given the rocky start to their date.
Then Lewis drove back to the office so that he and James could be briefed on their horrifying new assignment.