Kallian's Alphabet

OfQuirkyExcellence

C is for Comfort

A/N: Jowan is in the party due to another fic I wrote, if you read this one do not spoil the other one please! His arm was permanently damaged when Isolde had him tortured at Redcliffe, and he used a one handed-staff.

"Leliana, something seems to be bothering you. I can see it in your eyes."Kallian said. The boys had gone to practice Archery, with the exception of Zevran, who insisted he needed no practice, and Jowan, whose damaged arm was of no use holding a bow. Leliana and Kallie were the only ones still awake, as it was getting quite late.

"Marjoliane…" the bard mused. "She said that to me once. Or something similar. She said she could see pain in my eyes whenever I had it. Never mind, this is no concern of yours. We killed her anyway, and I can't say I feel completely free of her."

"Do you want to talk about it?" Kallie asked. "I'm all ears…" Kallie rarely mentioned the fact that she was an elf, as her status as a Grey Warden sometimes made her forget,and she rarely had to point herself out because of her ears, but she did have a unique sense of humor.

"That's not funny." Leliana said, glaring at Kallie with intense blue eyes. "At least not now."

"Leliana, I meant it. If you need to talk, I'm always here to listen."

"Alright. After Marjoliane's death, I've been having these nightmares. About…when she had me captured and when those mercenaries…did terrible things to me." Leliana paused, wiping new tears away so Kallie didn't see them.

"They taunted me," she continued, "and even after I told them what I thought would end it, they continued to use those horrible instruments of torture on me. I couldn't make it stop, no matter what I said, they wouldn't even let up, until I looked the leader in the eye and asked 'why?' he told me it was fun, he was a sick man. I see him now only in nightmares, thank the Maker. But it seems so real…"

Kallie took Leliana into her arms and the bard cried into her shoulder, soaking the elf's long, wavy brown hair with pained tears. "No one will ever hurt you again." Kallie said with confidence.

"This is why I was intent on saving Jowan. I told him what you just told me, that nobody would ever do such things to him again. I felt his pain, the trauma of what happened with Isolde, how nothing he said would make it stop…it all sounded so familiar. Those men…it's time you knew, did more than inflict wounds upon my body. They violated me, I'm probably right to assume they hadn't seen a woman in months, other than Marjoliane, and if they tried anything with her she would have them killed for sure. But I was nothing but a plaything to them. They…raped me, took turns on me. I was young and a virgin, and it hurt."

Kallie interrupted her here. "What? You didn't tell me? Leliana, you could not possibly have kept this to yourself for so long."

"I was afraid. I didn't know who to trust. After Marjoliane…met her end, I knew I could trust you. Jowan knows, too. I told him last night. He was there when I killed Marjoliane, and he knew something wasn't quite right. When I told him, he held me in his arms, and told me it was alright. I didn't want to tell you because I didn't want you to worry."

"But Leliana, that's such a big burden to carry! You could have told me anytime, Leliana. You are my best friend."

"Thank you. It is comforting to know I can trust you, Kallie."

"You should rest, Leli. Jowan's probably waiting for you. "Kallie said, remembering that she had not slept one night outside his tent since they got together.

"I am so tired." Leliana agreed, nodding, and she went to the tent she and Jowan shared, and all was silent.