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Chapter 2: Let Her Have This

"How long do you have, Derek? Sophia should be home in an hour and a half and she'd love to see you."

"I have enough time to see her."

"Great, want to come in and have a drink while we wait for her?"

"It looks like you were going to the gym."

"I was, but I'll reconsider for an FBI agent."

"I feel so honored."

"You should," She said as she nudged him with her elbow.

Derek was shocked by her vitality; he didn't know if he lost a child if he would be able to keep it together and joke with the person who was partially to blame for the child's death. He laughed to himself; there he went with the "ifs" again. He knew she was right about not blaming himself, but the case had been so harrowing. She was also right about it being worse because he related so profoundly to Liam. Hell, Liam could've been him. A young boy who loved sports, had a sister to look after, was mixed-race, had a white mother, and was as gangly as can be. It was always said that there would be certain cases that would stick with an agent for a long time; Derek just never imagined one would stick with him this long or in this way. He was drawn to them like a crowd to an accident; it wrenched his heart, but he had to see them.

When he followed her into the house he expected it to be different, but it wasn't. She hadn't rearranged the rooms and she hadn't removed the pictures of Liam. He didn't know exactly what he had expected to see, but he thought this would remind her too much of her lost son. She offered him a drink and he accepted a coffee. The weather was quite nippy for May, but that was typical in Chicago. He heard the beans grind and Ashley getting water to begin the coffee. He glanced at the photos; he had seen them all before. One of the three: Ashley and Liam in Bears jerseys, Sophia in a Bears cheerleading uniform, another of mom, dad, son, and daughter at a fifth birthday the seemingly perfectness shining through, and one of the twins holding hands on their first day of kindergarten. There were so many and she hadn't put them away. She'd put up new ones of just her and Sophia, but their smiles were visibly different and Ashley's grip on her daughter was tighter.

He didn't know if he should sit down or stand. The living room was oddly masculine; there was a large leather sofa, two big recliners, and a humongous flat screen TV. The feminine touches were much smaller; there were nice curtains, pillows, and a ton of blankets. If he was profiling this room, he would've said it belonged to a man who liked to entertain with a steady, long-term girlfriend. The pictures gave the room away, but otherwise the room was extremely masculine. When the team had mentioned this to her, she had responded that she liked comfort and easiness to clean most of all.

Ashley brought in the cups of coffee and they drank and caught up. She didn't bring up her children. He knew this was part of her protective mechanism; she wanted to talk about unemotional things. She asked him about work, his properties, and if he had met anyone. He returned the questions; he enjoyed her company. He was trying to read her and he couldn't. Ashley wasn't easy to profile that was something else that intrigued Derek. She was full of idiosyncrasies and surprises. He never imagined he would meet such a titillating woman.

Derek was drawn from his musings when he heard the front door knob jiggle. The bell rang and Ashley went sprinting for the door, encouraging him to stay in the living room. He was surprised by her speed until he heard the slight male rumbling… Jerry was here.

"Sophia, I have a surprise for you in the living room, why don't you go see what it is?"

Derek watched as Sophia skipped into the living room ready for her surprise. When she saw Derek she squealed with joy and threw herself at him bellowing his name. She felt slightly chilled; she must have been at the park with her father. Derek noticed that Ashley had pushed Jerry out the door and had gently closed the door behind her. Derek knew that Jerry hated the relationship Derek had with Sophia and Ashley. Jerry blamed Derek; Derek blamed Jerry. Derek cuddled the girl to his chest as she rambled about the things that she had not told him about and some of things she had. Her voice rang sweetly, but her mother's pleading voice and her father's angry one also reverberated in his ear.

"What the hell is he doing here?" Jerry hissed at Ashley.

"He's a family friend who is visiting." Ashley stated.

"That son-of," Ashley gave Jerry a piercing look, "That FBI agent looks down on me. He thinks it's my fault Willie ended up dead. It ain't my fault, Ashley, and he ain't no hero either he didn't save Willie." He said FBI agent like he would've said scum-sucking bottom feeder.

"But he did save Sophia." Ashley reasoned. "I owe him so much for saving her and he's good company. Fi loves him and I'm not taking him away from her no matter how much you whine about it."

"You're sleeping with him."

"Jerry, that's ridiculous. I am not and it doesn't matter anyways 'cause it's none of your business. You don't own me."

"I don't want him seeing my daughter."

"You want to play that game, Jerry. You're gonna lose, I guarantee it. The judge was nice last time, but I can take her away. Don't make me take her away, but I will do what is best for our daughter," Her voice turned soft and she reached out to touch Jerry but he jerked away, "She's been through so much and he makes it better for her. I don't know what it is about him, but he helps her. There's been so much loss in her short life; let her have this. This is what being a parent is all about Jerry. Sometimes you have to put your child before yourself."

"I still hate that pompous S.O.B."

"That's okay, you don't have to come in," She subdued patting his arm. "Thanks for taking her to the park. I think you're making progress with her."

"Not as much progress as they are," he said gesturing to the window where Derek and Sophia where laughing together as he spun her in a circle.

"Bye, Jerry."

Jerry huffed off, climbed into his car, and peeled off. Ashley shook her head and closed her eyes to regain her composure. Fighting with Jerry always affected her composure severely. It made her feel like a stupid teenager again; at least now she had a better vocabulary and less raging hormones.

"Jealousy is no more than feeling alone against smiling enemies." – Elizabeth Bowen