A/N: Since people seem to like my other "How to Annoy" fics, I thought I'd make some for KHR, starting off the the Millefiore. And who better to come first but Byakuran? Hope you enjoy! (:
How to Annoy Byakuran
I am not responsible in any way for what happens if you do these things. I'm warning you now, so please don't come crying to me if you get marshmallows stuffed in your brain. Honestly, I thought you would have learned that by now, but I thought I'd remind you since no one was too happy after the cauliflower incident... but that's another story. If worse comes to worse, always carry ice cream sundaes in your pocket. Good luck!
1. Tell him all the marshmallows in the world disappeared, and it's impossible to make more unless all red-heads die.
2. Tell him you know a special way to make them without red-heads dying, and say you'll only do it if he sits through five hours each of Barney and Sesame Street.
3. Laugh when he does so and tell him crazy psychopaths don't get marshmallows.
4. Have someone host a huge party away from the Millefiore base and tell all his subordinates it's an order from him to go.
5. When he asks where everyone is, tell him they all ran away because he's an albino.
6. Turn the Millefiore base into a daycare.
7. Ask if Levi is a good kisser.
8. Give him a pet tomato.
9. When he tries to eat it, scream that he's abusing his pet.
10. Tell him "Byakuran" means dirt in German and that's what his parents must have named him after.
11. Tell him taking over the world is "so last month".
12. Paint his room pitch black with random splatters of yellow and tell him it was to match the color of his heart and teeth.
13. Tell him marshmallows are now known to drain away people's powers and make them weak.
14. Ask him if he's turning 93 next year, while pointedly looking at his white hair.
15. Skip behind him for three days straight singing "When I'm evil" at the top of your lungs.
16. Tell everyone his favorite store is Victoria's Secret and make sure they all get him gift cards there for his birthday.