Don't own Criminal Minds.

Chapter 11: If the Shoe Fits

Derek was worried about going over to Ashley's place, but he hadn't seen them in weeks, unless it was to drop off or pick up Clooney during which Ashley usually leaned against a doorframe her arms crossed and Sophia bounced oblivious to the tension. He's drawn to them in some sort of cosmic synergy that sounds a whole lot more like Garcia and nothing like him but he can't deny it. It was Saturday and he had the entire day free, but had needlessly postponed going until the afternoon. He was afraid Ashley would reject him.

He had just returned from a case in Chicago and brought them a few Lou Malnati's par-baked and frozen pizzas. He knocked on the door and watched as Ashley skidded into the door. She propped open the door as Clooney ran up behind her.

"He's almost ready to go. Right, Clooney?" She said scratching Clooney between the ears and going into the kitchen. He let himself into the house and followed her.

"Thanks for watching him." Derek responded and she rolled her eyes at him and handed him the bag of Clooney's stuff.

"I was thinking we could do something tonight," Derek said noticing Ashley's slight cringe and feeling kind of ridiculous. "And I brought you guys back some pizzas from Chicago."

"Thanks, it's especially outstanding coming from a Giordano's lover," she replied with a genuine grin on her face as she tried to find a place for the boxes. "Well, Sophia and I already have plans with Jess, Matt, Jack, and Aaron tonight to go do Christmas-y activities as Jess called them, but you can come along if you want. Fi would definitely love it if you came along."

He realized that now if he said no he would sound like a bastard, but he really didn't want to spend his day-off with his drill-sergeant of a boss. He tried to smile at her, but he knew it was half-hearted at best. Sophia took that opportunity to skip into the kitchen and wail his name. He knew he couldn't escape now; Ashley would've let him scurry off with his tail between his legs, but not Sophia. He was soon engulfed in the little girl's hug and being charmed with stories about her recent escapades.

"Are you coming with us, Derek? It would be awesome if you came with us," Sophia squealed as she squeezed Derek's neck tightly.

"Sure, princess, I'd be happy to go with you." Her responding screech was the only confirmation he needed that he was doing the right thing at least for her.

Sophia and Ashley rushed to get ready for their excursion and Derek played with Clooney. He was worried about Hotch's response and how awkward the situation might turn out to be. He felt like he was intruding on family time. A feeling he had never had when he visited and Jerry, Ashley, and Sophia were spending time together. He wondered if Ashley, Sophia, Hotch, and Jack would end up being a family together. No matter what the two said about not being attracted to one another it seemed that they couldn't help spending time together like a family would. He felt pushed out; he wanted to spend time together like a family would. Why couldn't they be a family together?

The doorbell rang again and this time Sophia slid into the door; she was so much like her mother. Walking towards the door Derek could hear Jack singing "Jingle Bells" enthusiastically. The group of four pushed their way into the townhouse greeting the bouncing little girl, but Hotch suddenly froze his eyes landing on Derek. Derek could see his boss shift visibly from father to boss. Ashley tromped down the stairs and Derek watched as she walked up to Hotch linked arms with him and dragged him into her small dining room. Derek's stomach clenched; he wanted out but he was held back from the dash out the door by a small hand folded in his.

When Ashley heard the second doorbell she had expected to run interference, it was her usual role. She had to get Aaron by himself to explain the situation, so she looped her arm into his and dragged him off to the dining room. Jess winked at her as they passed and Ashley roller her eyes. Jess was pining for a relationship almost as much as Jack.

As she pushed him into the dining room she repeated, "Sorry."

"I don't like fraternizing with my co-workers," Aaron said sternly; his austerity did not have the expected effect on Ashley who began to giggle. She rested her hands on Aaron's arms trying to regain her balance.

"You realize that made it sound like you were sleeping with Derek and that would be terribly interesting and probably extremely hot." Ashley responded winking at him.

"It's hard to spend time with a fellow agent, especially someone on my team. Morgan is use to me as a … a…" He trailed off searching for the appropriate word.

"Hard ass," she supplied. "Well, let's mess with his psyche and show him the sweet fatherly Aaron Hotchner."

"I'm not sure I want him to see that side." He responded gruffly and almost moodily, she thought.

"O, give it a break, Aaron," she huffed. "I'm sure he's seen it before and it's not going to make him think any less of you. Probably more, in fact, and anyways, when will you men realize it's not about you? It's about the children." He startled her when he returned her decree with a grin. They stood there grinning at each other for an instant.

"Shall we return to the festivities," he questioned as they heard the children break into a rousing round of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.

"Yes, we shall," she responded and he offered her his arm. She took it laughing.

They returned to the kitchen and found the other five munching cookies and talking about what they wanted for Christmas, okay maybe those activities were being done mostly by Jack and Sophia. When the two walked into the kitchen, Jack threw himself at Ashley, but Sophia was more cautious, she glanced up at Derek before walking over to Aaron and hugging him quickly around the middle.

Derek was exhilarated at the glance that Sophia threw back at him and her quick return to his side, but he couldn't help the jealously that ran through him when he watched her affection for Hotch. Derek wondered if Ashley was replacing Liam with Jack because of the way she chatted with him so animatedly. It made him jealous that he couldn't offer her a son like Hotch could. She had been so angry when he mentioned it, but right in front of him was the proof.

They left shortly after; piling into Hotch's large SUV, thankfully, Matt and Jess taking Matt's smaller sedan separately. Jack sat in the middle and both kids bounced up and down in their seats. The children's chatter dampened the awkwardness that the adults produced.

They walked around the capital and stared at the beautiful light displays. The children, Jess, and Ashley's gleefulness was contagious and soon Derek was grinning shamelessly. However, his brightened mood didn't last much longer. He had found it slightly amusing that Ashley leaned over the railings and acted like a kid enthralled by the lights. It was partially what endeared her to him. Her captivation sometimes meant she spent more time than the children allowed staring at something. The group would meander off and Ashley would still be there. He thought she looked gorgeous and youthful, until Hotch walked up and rested a hand on her lower back and began guiding her. The first time Hotch rested a hand on her back she jumped, then Hotch whispered something to her, and she laughed leaning slightly into him not shaking off the hand like Derek had expected. Derek felt like the fifth wheel, but Sophia refused to let him pout in peace she was continually pulling on his hand and being as adorable as ever. He was lost in his meditative black hole and didn't notice when Ashley sidled up next to him.

"Not as good as State Street and the Christkindlmarket, but it's still pretty great isn't it?" She asked bumping shoulders with him.

"Yeah, I always miss home around now," he responded.

"Most definitely, you don't realize how much you love Chicago until you're missing all the things you took advantage of, except the weather. I don't really miss the weather." She looked up at him and grinned. He laughed in return starting to feel much better.

Sophia ran up and demanded Derek lift her up so she could see better, then she was talking animatedly with her mother and Derek. He thought it was the perfect time to wrap an arm around Ashley and pull her closer to him and her daughter. She tensed at first, but then relaxed and continued their discussion. He felt fantastic. Mere moments into this idyllic pose, there was a tug on Ashley's sleeve and Jack was dragging her somewhere glaring at Derek and looking at Sophia with hurt in his eyes. Ashley followed Jack shrugging her shoulders at Derek and Sophia. Sophia after burrowing into his side asked to be put down and followed after Ashley and Jack. The moment was lost.

He rejoined the group and ended up standing next to Hotch. The discomfort rippled between them and he wanted to say a great deal to his boss but he was sure it wouldn't go over well.

"She's just trying to replace Liam," Derek hissed at Hotch as they watched Ashley hold hands with both children gazing up at the Capitol Christmas tree. His emphasis on the word replace reverberated between them.

"You're lucky she didn't hear that, because I'm sure she would not take too kindly to that accusation," Hotch responded levelly.

"Well you can't deny it," Derek responded tersely.

"And I assume you're implying that my son is trying to replace his mother and likewise that I am trying to replace my ex-wife," Hotch's tone methodical as he gave his assessment.

"If the shoe fits," Derek knew he was picking a fight with Hotch, be he was irritated. Hotch's jaw flexed, but he didn't lash out like Derek secretly hoped he would.

"Do not insult me and my son because you feel inadequate," Hotch returned and walked briskly to join the others.

Derek watched seething as Hotch scooped up Jack and then Sophia lifting them higher to view the tree. He could tell all six were laughing. When Hotch finally put the children down, the two children grabbed Ashley and Hotch's hands, and they looked incredibly average and all together perfect. He was resolute that the day had failed until Ashley shouted his name waving him over. Maybe there was hope for him.

~BREAK~

Derek leaned against the doorframe of the living room and watched the two avoid each other. Ashley sat flipping vigorously through the channels. There was no way she could have been watching any of the shows; she was flying through the channels. Jerry was attempting to throw furtive glares at Derek but Derek felt all of them, but decided not to address them.

"O fuck this," Ashley said throwing her remote on the couch. She stalked into the kitchen and Derek followed her.

"What are you doing?" He cautiously approached her.

"Do you like cookies?" She spun bumping into his chest.

"Excuse me."

"Do you like cookies? I have to do something and I know I'm not allowed to leave; so I am going to bake." As she finished her proclamation Derek's phone buzzed in his pocket.

"Morgan," he answered. He listened intently, "I'll leave right now and be there soon. Yeah, I understand, Hotch."

"They found them," she said and her eyes gleamed with hope.

"Love sees sharply, hatred sees even more sharp, but jealousy sees the sharpest for it is love and hate at the same time." –Arab Proverb

AN: Would love reviews! Thanks!