If Only He Could Read My Mind

Chapter 4

I woke up in a bright room and sat myself up to see it was the hospital wing. James and Sirius were sitting in between my bed and the one next to it. Sitting up in the other bed was Remus. They were so busy talking in their conversation they didn't realise I had woke up.

I cleared my throat.

They turned to look at me.

"BRYN!" Sirius yelled, giving me a large hug, squishing me.

"SIRIUS!" I yelled back, "Let Go!"

He chuckled but released me.

"Hey James?" I asked.

"Yeah, Bryn?"

"What happened, you know, after I fainted?"

"Well I picked you up and brought you straight here, I was afraid that you would die from the loss of blood."

I wish I had. It would have made this easier on me.

Wait. Hang on.

"What were you doing out there? And where did the dog come from?" I asked. "And why is Remus in the hospital wing too?"

Then I remembered the werewolf...

I gasped. "You're the werewolf, aren't you Remus?"

Remus' face looked down. "Yes. I'm sorry Brynlee. I told you I wasn't good enough for you. I'm dangerous; I almost killed you last night. I knew you wouldn't want to be with a werewolf."

"Wait, you broke up with me, because you thought you weren't good enough for me, because you're a werewolf?"

"Yes, I told you I wasn't good enough for you. What did you think was my reason?"

"It's nothing." I said abruptly, not wanting to share.

Madame Pomfrey walked in. "Oh good, you're awake. I just need to call down Professor McGonagall, because I believe we have a lot to talk about Miss Waters."

"What do you mean?" I asked confused.

"You'll see."

She walked over to her fire place and floo'd McGonagall. A few seconds later McGonagall walked out of the fireplace.

"Miss Waters, it's nice to see you awake at last. Now, we have some very serious issues to discuss."

"Serious issues?" I asked.

"Yes, serious issues. I'm referring to the obvious marks that are on your wrists and the fact you had a knife in your back pocket."

I gulped. They knew.

"Bryn... Why?" Remus asked.

"It hurts. Every letter they send, every time I speak to them it hurts. I couldn't take it anymore. Especially since you had broken up with me the same day. I'm not good enough for you; I'm not good enough for them. Answer this, if I'm not good enough for anyone, why should I keep living?"

"God... Brynlee, I love you. I broke up with you to protect you. You are so good enough for me, baby, you're so much better than me. But who is this 'they' you were talking about?" Remus said.

My heart skipped a beat when he told me he loved me. It meant everything to me.

"They are my parents..." I mumbled in response, not wanting to get my parents in trouble, because that would cause me more trouble.

Everyone gasped.

"Miss Waters, you realize that is considered child abuse, and that you would have been removed from their care by now if you had of told somebody. "

"Yes. But I've been threatened not to tell. I'm not stupid."

"Well, you started cutting, and attempted suicide last night... so I think that was a very stupid decision on your part."

"I think it was a wonderful idea, it'd be a hell of a lot less painful than listening to what they say." I said a flood of anger and bitterness coming through.

They gasped at my blunt and bitter statement.

"Excuse me a moment." Professor McGonagall walked out of the hospital wing.

"Miss Waters, I'm going to have to ask you to stand up for a minute."

I slid off the bed, placing my hand on James' shoulder to stop me from falling. Madam Pomfrey took one look over my body before speaking.

"How long?" She asked sympathetically. I knew what she had seen; I knew that as a nurse she could tell I hadn't been eating properly.

"Three months" I answered.

"Brynlee..." I heard Remus groan.

I sat back down on the hospital wing bed. Madam Pomfrey gave me an apple.

"We'll start off slow. Eat it. Boys, make sure she doesn't throw it back up after. I need to find something to treat your wounds Mr. Lupin"

She left the room, and I felt a tear leave my eye. Everything they said, it had really meant something to me. They were right. I had been abused and it made me make bad decisions for myself. The tears started to flow heavily from my eyes. I ran my hand that wasn't holding the apple through my long blonde hair.

"Bryn, I understand that you cut to escape the pain, but why didn't you eat?" Remus asked.

"Becc..aause.. I'm..u..gly.. thats why." I responded in between the tears.

"Ugly? Brynlee what the hell are you talking about? You're the most beautiful girl I have ever been lucky enough to meet."

I wiped my eyes slightly. "Really?" I whispered.

"Of course. Please stop what you're doing to yourself. Baby, you are perfect, it doesn't matter what anyone else says."

That was the one line that changed my life for the better.

Remus was right, it didn't matter what other people thought. I felt better. It was as if suddenly I had a whole new perspective, and now I wanted to change, I wanted to feel good about myself again.

I took a bite out of the apple and swallowed. It felt good, getting something back in my stomach. So I took another bite, and I heard Remus say "Good girl." As if I was a little child, learning something new.

In a way, I was. I was learning something new. I was learning how to get my life back.

"Brynlee?" Remus asked.

I looked at him.

"Will you be my girlfriend again? Or are you disgusted by the fact I'm a werewolf?" He asked.

"Remus, I don't give a crap whether you're a werewolf or not. I love you and I will definitely be your girlfriend again. I need you Remus, if I'm going to fix this, I'll need you there."

"Baby, I will be there every second of the way."

Professor McGonagall walked in, followed by Professor Dumbledore.

"Miss Waters, Professor McGonagall has just told me some rather disturbing news about your parents. I just have to ask you whether this is true, because if it is, I have to tell the ministry so they can find you a new home, a safe home." He smiled at me, setting my worries at ease, and I had a funny feeling, he was using magic to do it. I nodded and kept my head down, biting on my lip.

"Right then, with that I am off to the ministry, look after yourself Miss Waters." He left the hospital wing and everyone was in silence.

I broke it. "So, how do I fix this?"

I saw Remus smile out of the corner of his eye while Professor McGonagall and Madam Pomfrey, who had just come back, both looked at me in shock.

Together we came up with a plan to help me. I was going to be accompanied by someone for a good while before I felt better.

Later in the day Lily and Alice came in and I told them everything. They were both so shocked by the news but promised they would help me.

Things were looking up.