A/N: Don't own Criminal Minds. I love feedback. Thanks for reading!

Chapter 17: Not Sure

"Hello?" Ashley's voice rasped and her heart raced when she heard the shaky breaths through the line.

"Ashley, it's Penelope," was the whispered reply and Ashley jumped out of bed.

"What happened?"

"There was an accident on the case."

"Derek?" She breathed viscerally. Then she quickly added, "And Aaron?"

"The SUV Hotch was driving got broadsided while they were chasing the unsub. Derek was in the passenger seat; he took the brunt of the collision. Hotch is responsive; they think he just has a mild concussion and a broken arm. He's already fighting the staff. Derek has not been responsive and he has a lot of internal bleeding. He's in surgery; they're not sure…. They're just not sure." As Penelope finished, she broke down into torrential sobs.

"Where are they?"

"Hospital of University of Pennsylvania."

"I'm leaving now. I am going to drop the kids at Jessica's."

"Don't drive in your condition, sugar plum."

"I need to get there; I'll be fine."

"I'm going to check up on you."

"Okay."

She packed a bag for herself with plenty of the essentials, then one for each Aaron, Jack, and Sophia. She then woke the children up and explained that she had to go pick up Aaron. She got them comfortable in the vehicle, whipped through McDonalds for coffee, and jumped on the road to Jessica's place. She dropped them off and hurried as she continued on the highway with another cup of coffee.

When she arrived at the hospital, they directed her to the ICU. Aaron was standing in the middle of the waiting area and she rushed toward him.

"How's Derek?" She questioned as his arms encircled her. He looked down at her ruefully.

"I think I'll be alright, thank you," he replied drily. Her head whipped up in horror.

"I'm sorry Aaron. I just… I'm just… I'm just worried."

"I know," he responded squeezing her shoulder. "They just set him up in a room; he was in surgery for four hours. They think they've relieved most of the pressure on his brain and stopped most of the internal bleeding."

Aaron suddenly swayed violently and Ashley wrapped her arms around him and admonished, "I know you're going against doctor's orders to be standing here right now. You need to go rest and be monitored."

"It's my fault."

"O, Aaron stop. Please go rest. "

She followed him to a room where a nurse set him up and encouraged him to rest. Ashley sat next to his bed, but looked distressed.

"Go check on him," Aaron encouraged finally. She looked relieved, kissed his cheek, and moved out of the room.

She arrived at the room and Reid was curled into an armchair. He glanced at her and his eyes darkened. He looked like he was going to speak but drew back into himself. She pulled a chair next to Derek's bed, held his head reverently, and bent her head.

"What are you doing?" Reid finally said; his voice tinted with anger.

"Praying."

"You being here is going to break his heart. There is clear scientific proof that a broken heart is actually painful. The mu-opioid receptor gene…" He trailed off, but continued with a burst, "Do you know, he cares about you and your daughter more than he's cared about anybody in a long time? You just threw him away."

"I didn't throw him away."

"I know he seems like the burly door-kicker who can have sex with a woman and leave the next morning, but you were different for him. You tossed him out of your house and that wrecked him."

"I don't think you should discuss something you don't necessarily understand, Dr. Reid."

"I think you're scared and that's not fair to either Morgan or Hotch."

"I'm sorry you feel that way Dr. Reid, but I care about both of them."

"You're going to have to make a decision," he concluded and curled back into his chair.

BREAK

The team returned to Quantico, but Derek remained in Chicago to make the transition for Sophia easier. There had not been much talking or playing, but a lot of sleeping and crying. Finally, ten days after they rescued her, she looked up at Derek and stated plainly, "That man was so bad to us."

He sat for a minute in astonishment before going into interview mode. He held her hands gently and began asking her questions.

"What did he do?"

"Lots of bad things."

"Like what, sweetheart?"

"When I cried, he would try to hit me, but Liam would try to stop him. Then he would get so angry and he would punch Liam."

"Did he do other things?"

"He would take Liam away and when he came back Liam would cry and he couldn't sit down so he would have to lay on his stomach. One time he wanted me to go with him, even though he said he didn't like girls, but Liam said he wanted to go. That night he came back and there was blood on his legs, and I was so scared. He didn't give us a lot of food or water, but I always tried to make Liam eat. Mommy always said that Liam would forget to eat if she didn't feed him; I didn't want him to forget to eat. Before you came, I couldn't get Liam to eat anymore, because his face and mouth hurt so bad. The day you came, he got mad because Liam wouldn't let him take me away and so he hurt him lots. I was so scared."

"He's going to jail, right?" She asked hesitantly.

"For a long, long time, honey," he assured and she jumped into his lap. He stroked her hair.

"Am I going to jail?" She whispered into his neck.

"Why would you go to jail?"

"Cause I didn't stop him, because I couldn't help Liam," she sobbed into his neck.

"O, sweetheart, none of that was your fault. That man was really evil and it's not your fault. You didn't do anything wrong."

"But I could've gone with him."

"He would still have hurt Liam, because he was a bad man."

She bawled; her little body shook with her sobs. He whispered nonsensically to her and gingerly rubbed her back. Ashley came into the room with hot chocolate and cookies. Sophia saw her and threw herself at her.

"'M sorry, Mommy."

"There's nothing to be sorry for, love bug. I love you so much and you are such a good girl; I'm so proud of you for being so brave and strong."

"Not mad at me?"

"Of course not, love, of course not." Tears gathered in Ashley's eyes and she held tightly to her child.

"God is closest to those with broken hearts." ~Jewish Saying