A/N: Don't own Criminal Minds. Feedback is loved!

Chapter 18: It's Worth It

"Momma, is Derek okay?" Sophia's voice cracked over the line.

"The doctors think he's getting better, sweetheart."

"He's not going to die like Li, right?"

"No, sweetheart, come on, he's big, strong, FBI-agent Derek Morgan," She said assuring herself as much as her daughter.

"Jack wants to talk to you."

"'Ello."

"Hey, Jackster, how's it going, bud?"

"When are you coming home?" His simple question made Ashley's stomach roil. Home, her place was back with the, no her, children and working, not sitting in a hospital room looking at closed eyes.

"Soon, darling," she responded softly.

"I miss you," he asserted.

"I miss you, too. Wanna talk to your daddy?"

"Ok, bye, love you."

"Love you too," she returned and walked to the waiting room where Aaron was discussing the case for Agent Rossi.

"Jack wants to talk to you," she said, holding the phone out to him with her finger covering the mouthpiece. Aaron shook his head lightly and held up his hand.

"Don't hold up your hand at me, Aaron Hotchner. You were in a car accident; your son is scared. Talk to him and get back to your hospital bed before you pass out…again," she demanded and he looked at her awestruck but grabbed the phone. His voice was soft and congenial as he spoke to his son, but the glare he delivered to Ashley was anything but soft and congenial. She was unfazed by his glower and she winked at him as she walked back to Derek's room.

When she returned to Derek's room, his eyes were still closed and she curled into the chair next to him. Fran, Desirée, and Sarah had arrived that afternoon looking bleary-eyed and terrified. After being filled in by the doctors, Ashley had encouraged the three women to check into the hotel, take a shower, get some lunch, and maybe even get some sleep or at least coffee. His face was bruised and she couldn't help but grimace every time she looked at him. She wanted to touch him, caress his cheek, but she worried about hurting him. She settled for holding his hand and occasionally kissing it gently. She talked to him about Sophia and read from magazines and newspapers, but only when she was sure she wouldn't start crying. She picked up his hand, placed it against her cheek, and kissed his palm.

"Do you love him?" Fran asked softly as she watched the younger woman from the door way.

"I…I…I don't know what to say." Ashley replied hesitantly.

"It's not that difficult: yes or no."

"I…I…I."

"You don't have to tell me, but you do need to think about it. I didn't protect him when he was younger, but I need to protect him now. You seem like a nice girl; you remind me of myself, but you cannot break him. I won't let you."

Ashley nodded, kissed Derek's palm again, and got up to leave.

"Leaving so soon?" Fran questioned incredulously.

"You should have time with him. I will be back."

They caught the unsub and Aaron was ready to return home. Yet, he wasn't sure Ashley was ready or if she would even want to. He knew it was wrong to be jealous of the other agent, but he had been so close to having her. But, he really had never, even remotely, had her, not the way Derek did. He leaned against the closed door of the hotel room; she was asleep. She had gone back to Aaron's hotel room and curled up in the king bed. He shucked his clothes and crawled into the bed next to her. She slid closer, almost magnetically, and he rested his un-casted hand on her hip. He lay flat on his back and listened to her breathe.

When Ashley woke up, her head was pillowed on Aaron's chest; his good arm wrapped around her and his fingers under the hem of her t-shirt. She snuggled closer to his chest, dug her face into his shirt, and inhaled. He smelled earthy, woodsy, and spicy with a hint of sleep sweat that didn't particularly bother her. She needed to touch more of him; she needed to be in this moment to forget that she spent many of her previous hours bent over the bed of a man who she should just leave the hell alone. She slid her hand under Aaron's undershirt and drew lazy patterns on his navel. Her hand glided under his waistband and he moaned awake, blinking dubiously at her. She kissed him gently and slithered down the bed. She nipped at his thigh and then soothed with gentle kisses. She fumbled through her bag, moved over him, and engulfed him. He touched her reverently and arched off the bed. He pulled her to him, kissed her languidly, and followed her sensual movements. His arm hindered his usual maneuvers, so he allowed her the control and she relished in it setting her intoxicatingly slow rhythm. He groaned, she gasped, she nestled next to him and wrapped her arm tightly around his waist, and he kissed the top of her head as he felt tears soak through his thin undershirt.

After a while of just lying there, she kissed his cheek, moved towards the bathroom, and started a shower. He lay on his back and steeled himself for the conversation that he knew he had to have with her. He ran his good hand through his hair thankful that he broke his right hand rather than his left, though he won't be able to shoot for quite some time, not that The Bureau is going to let him back in the field soon anyways. The shower had stopped and he could hear Ashley fumbling around in the bathroom. A whispered curse came through the door and he smiled. She opened the door and smiled at him; she ran to her suitcase to grab her toothbrush. As she brushed her teeth, he leaned against the doorframe and she glanced at him questioningly.

"We can't get married," he said finally and frankly. Her eyes snapped to him and she stared agape, before leaning over the sink to spit her toothpaste into the sink and wipe the excess off.

"What are you talking about?"

"We can't get married," a hint of sadness littered his tone.

"Of course, we can."

"Why aren't you wearing your ring?" He asked and she looked down at her finger abashedly.

"I forgot to put it on."

"Because you were worried about Derek."

"Because I was worried about both of you."

"You don't want to marry me."

"Aaron, if I didn't want to marry you, I would've said no when you asked."

"You think you want to marry me, but you don't."

"Don't tell me what I want."

"The looks you give him; they're the looks of real, true love. I won't allow you to throw that away. I thought I could; I thought I could let you walk away from him because it's what you wanted. I can't, though, I used to look at Haley that way and I can't allow you to give that up."

"Then you know that it can only end in heartbreak."

"It doesn't matter; it's worth it."

"Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up." - Neil Gaiman

A/N: Please review!