I really needed to be alone so I wouldn't blow the semblance of smile that probably looked like a grimace.

I walked past him, unable to look into his eyes, and headed to the parking lot. My clothes were almost dry but I wanted to change into something a little more comfortable. I always brought a sweatshirt and a sweatsuit in the trunk of my car in case something happened – even though that wasn't the type of situation I had thought about when putting them in the bag. Unfortunately, I hadn't realize the key worked on batteries, which had drowned in the water of the tank. I shook my head and rubbed my eyes, hoping I would wake up from this never ending nightmare. The only thing I could do was to go back to the lab and ask Peter if he could lend me some of his clothes I knew he kept in Walter's little office. When I came in, he was on the phone so I waited patiently until he put it back I his pocket.

'Can I borrow you a shirt and pants, please?' I asked softly, my voice just loud enough to be heard.

'Sure' his answer was, and he lead me to a cupboard in the office. There was a large pile of clothes, from tee-shirts to socks but I didn't even wonder why he needed so much pants in the lab. I chose a black shirt which was twice too large and black jeans. I noticed he grinned, probably because I hadn't lost the habit of dressing with dark colors, but he didn't make any comment and left without a single word. I slowly took off my red-tee-shirt – her red tee-shirt. That was her tee-shirt I was holding in my hands. I turned my head to the mirror Walter had bought for an experiment and froze. It felt like I was looking at her through that mirror. Of course, I knew it was only my reflection, but just for a moment, I pretended it was her. Olivia, with her long, dark red hair falling on her shoulders and her green eyes looking straight into mine. I smiled and she smiled back, and I somewhat felt relieved. That was a dangerous game I was playing and I perfectly knew it, but I needed to savor these very last moments I could spend with her. I came closer to the mirror, tears of joy and pain rolling on my cheeks. I put my hands on the cold surface and closed my eyes. It was easy then to imagine it really was her hand I was touching, and I could almost feel the heat of her hand enveloping mine. I was going to miss this. The sensation of her skin against mine, and her breath on my face. I could count on Peter for these moments of intimacy, but it would never be the same intensity again. With her, I felt overwhelmed and safe, but with Peter... When he had hugged me I had only felt good. There was nothing special about him anymore because I had found someone even more special. The more I thought about her the more I wanted to get through that mirror and hold her tight against me. I needed to feel more than her hand. My forehead pressed against the cold and I couldn't help but kissed the mirror. Softly, just like a butterfly landing on a flower. My lips fitted perfectly on hers and the mirror returning my breath added a bit of realism to this dream. And, just like in a dream, I was interrupted by Peter who had probably came in to make sure everything was alright. He didn't know how alright I was until he burst in.

'Olivia, what the hell are you doing?' Of course, for someone who didn't know half of the story, that probably looked strange. But I didn't think that was a good reason to sound this shocked and look this disgusted, so I just shrugged, taking the shirt on the table and slipped it on. He sighed heavily and before I could make a move he picked up the red tee-shirt that had fallen on the floor.

'I'm gonna take these with me too' he said, pointing out my pants and jacket. 'They need to be washed.' The way he treated this tee-shirt – like it was nothing but a dirty piece of rag – made me quite angry. It was her tee-shirt after all. The only thing left that could reminisce me of her. It deserved to be treated with a little more respect.

'Give it back to me' I ordered, tugging at the hem of the red fabric.

'Come on Olivia, don't be this childish. Just change into those pants and let me wash your clothes.'

'I'm not being childish and these clothes aren't mine. Give me this fucking tee-shirt, Peter.' He had always been stubborn and he didn't seem to want to let go so I pulled harder to the point the tee-shirt couldn't resist and was torn to pieces. I looked at the scrap in my hand wide eyed, not really realizing what had happened. I didn't know this type of clothe could be torn that easily, but on second thought I remembered that one of the effect of traveling between universes was a molecular damage of everything that wasn't human. But that didn't explain why I had reacted like that and Peter seem to understand something really wrong was going on.

'Olivia... What's the matter with you ?' Peter said, putting what was left of the precious piece of clothing on the table. 'Olivia, look at me!' But I couldn't hear what he was saying, only the sound of the beatings of my heart was filling my ears. That terrible noise usually drove me insane, but this time it helped me control the wave of anger rising in me. I ignored him and crouched near the cupboard, holding the tee-shirt against my chest. The tiger was on the verge of exploding and looking at him would have made it worse. I thought that stupid feeling would have left with her, but it was more present than ever. And it didn't seem to make a difference between her and what belonged to her, and tearing that tee-shirt felt like she had been hurt. I was ashamed by my own behavior. Ashamed because I could not control those feelings I knew were not completely mine. Ashamed for being that mad about a simple red tee-shirt. Peter was right : this was childish.

'I'm sorry' I whispered, staring at the floor. 'It's just... I can do it myself, I don't want to bother you...' I knew he wouldn't believe such a lie – he wasn't stupid, he had realized that something had happened over there and that Olivia had something to do with it, but he just wouldn't acknowledge it.

'You'd better put this on before you get cold,' he simply said, handing me a pull-over. 'Then I'll take you home.' I nodded and he left without a word. I needed to pull myself together before the tiger compelled me to do something I didn't want to. That tee-shirt wouldn't have changed my life, after all. And if I wanted I could probably buy the same here. There wasn't anything special about this one except it came from another world. That was it. It was so not me to make such a fuss about such a trivial thing. I shook my head and unbuckled my belt, wanting to get rid of these clothes as fast as possible. I feared that keeping them any longer on me would have triggered another crisis and that really wasn't something I wished happened. I changed into the black pants, laced my shoes and rolled up the sleeves of the pull-over which were way too long for my arms. I left her clothes behind and closed the door after me. Peter was sitting on a stool, waiting for me.

'Does that bother you if we wait a little here?' he asked when he finally saw me. 'Walter and Astrid are coming, I want to make sure he doesn't experiment on himself once again.'

'And why would he do that?' I knew it wouldn't be the first time, but I thought he had given up the idea after Peter had threatened him of banning every candy from their cupboards.

'To get you back, of course. His latest idea was to inject himself with Cortexiphan when I declined the offer. We've all been working hard to get you back, Olivia. I hope you realize that.'

'Of course I do,' I replied, not really knowing what to do. I felt that getting to close to him would seem a bit too out of place, but on the other hand I wanted to thank him and words weren't strong enough. So I decided it would be better if I got closer and see what he expected me to do.

'What happened over there?' The question burst out of his mouth like he wanted to ask it before it got stuck in his head forever. Maybe he wasn't expecting me to do anything at all, after all. 'I mean... Come on, you've just come back!' he said, standing of all his height in front of me. 'Is being sad and disappointed your way to show me everything's back to normal? I thought you wanted us to be together and... Now we're here and it's like you don't want anything anymore!'

I perfectly understood what he meant but I didn't have an answer to his question. I would have loved to say that I was truly happy to be back, that I was just an after-effect of crossing over, that I really wanted to be with him for the rest of my life. And after what I told him in that flat over there, that would have been logical. But the very truth was that I wasn't happy, that I would have preferred to stay over there with her, that I didn't want to live my life with him because I wouldn't be able to fulfill his desires. If I told him the truth, I would be moping all my life, alone, and drown in my sorrow. But if I chose to live a lie, then my life might be a little better. The problem was that if Peter found out about it, he would never forgive me. And that would lead me once again to the first option. In both cases, it wasn't worth living. The poor Peter was looking at me, waiting for me to say something, but my head was buzzing with thoughts and I was unable to decide.

'I want to be with you, Peter' I said,the words coming out of my mouth before I could stop them. Option two wasn't that bad after all. Now that she wasn't there and I was going to live with him, maybe I could find a way to love him like before? I had fallen in love with him for a good reason, maybe all the feelings I used to have for him were just buried deep, hidden by this stupid tiger sleeping in my chest. Maybe I just needed time to recover, and to forget her. Yes, I had made the right choice. I would do my best to make him happy because he deserved to be so.

'I want to be with you and I'm really glad to be back. I just feel a little... Weird.'

'Weird enough to kiss a mirror?'

'Peter, I...' I noticed he was smiling, and I felt somewhat relieved. I didn't want to give him an explanation right now, because I would have had to explain everything from the very beginning and I wasn't in the mood to debate about what had happened. 'I'll explain everything, I promise. Just, not now.'

'It's okay' he said, sliding an arm around my waist. 'We have all the time we want, now.' I closed my eyes, trying to feel. It only took a few seconds, but when I Peter put his lips on mine, the tiger beat a retreat. I knew I had won a battle. Not the war.

It's getting longer than I'd have expected it to be ! :)

I hope you like it, and feel free to review ! :D