Chapter 7

His fingers fiddled a moment with my belt while his other hand slid under my large shirt, his nails scratching my bra. My pants fell at my feet, quickly followed by my panties, and my eyes closed when his hot tongue licked my jaw from the chin to the ear.

'Tell me she's better than me...' he said lowly, rubbing his palm between my legs. I moaned, unable to resist, and I put my hands on his cheeks to kiss him deeply. He lifted me from the floor and I wrapped my legs around his waist, my fingers drifting on his strong chest. Of course it felt good, really good even. My hands moved to his waist so I could unbutton his jeans, but she crushed his pelvis against mine so as to block my wrists.

'She hasn't got a dick, has she?' he groaned in my ear, his lips closing around my lobe. 'I wouldn't want... To be favored.' I moaned louder and bit his lip as his finger gently went inside me, his thumb tenderly stroking the most sensible spot.

'Peter...' I whispered, my hips moving against his hand to accentuate the pressure on my sex. That was a normal reaction, and I knew it, but inside my head I was trying hard to convince me that it was because he was actually better. But I also knew that this didn't feel half as good as when Olivia did it to me – except it hadn't been her hand rubbing against me. I would have wanted to stop him, tell him that this meant nothing and that it wasn't because he was making love to me that I would love him more. I grasped his jacket forcefully and my toes curled in my shoes as a second finger joined the first one.

'Peter, please... Stop,' I breathed, burying my face in the crook of his neck. All I could think of was her, and her delicate hands on me, and I feared that her name might escape my lips at any moment. I had never felt this torn apart inside, torn between the love I had for him and the love I had for her. With Peter it had taken a long time before those feelings had grown inside me, because that's how it normally works. You meet someone, spend time with them and see what happens. That was the kind of love I had believed in, until I had met Olivia, that is. It hadn't quite been love at first sight, but more like love at first touch. On the spur of the moment I hadn't realized it, taken away by this fabulous wave of intense pleasure, but now that I came to think about it I knew that the tiger was born the second her hand had brushed against mine. The more she had touched me, the more it had grown in my chest. The more she had kissed me, the stronger it had gotten. And now that she was touching me and kissing me again, it was more awake than ever. None of this was natural and it would have never happened if I hadn't left this world to save Peter.

'Peter...' His name echoed in my brain, getting me back to reality for a instant. I shook my head, my heels digging into his butts. She wasn't kissing me, it wasn't her, it couldn't be her, but... Oh god, Olivia... Don't stop... Her face was floating behind my closed eyes and I just couldn't help it. I was doing my best to make it go away, to imagine Peter's calloused palms over my body – which should have been easy because it was actually him caressing me – but it wasn't working. The tiger believed it was her and there was no way I could control it. I put my hands on his cheeks, feeling his stubble under my fingertips, but even that didn't convince that stupid beast purring behind my ribs. His features, his short hair, everything else that made a man out of him, felt so strange under my touch that my brain couldn't tell the difference and brought me irreparably back to her. Her nails scratching my back, and her hands on my thighs, and her hot breath on my face, and... Oh yes, right there... Faster... A moan rose down my throat as I finally felt that very pleasant sensation running in my veins and the heat slowly growing in my lower belly. But there was something wrong, it didn't feel like when it really was her making love to me. Something was missing and soon I realized that it was her presence. What else could it have been? Everything felt like her but it wasn't having the same effect on my body. It didn't react to Peter's touch because he lacked something she had. I didn't know what but I couldn't think about it any longer. The intense wave – still far less intense that the last time – ran through my limbs and disconnected my brain from reality. I didn't know what I was mumbling but inside I was praying that it wasn't Olivia's name. I bit my lower lip, trying hard to come back to Earth, but it was too late. A few seconds later, Peter dropped me nonchalantly on the floor and crouched next to me.

'That felt good, right?' he breathed in my ear. 'I wouldn't have thought she could be that good.' I stood up and before slamming the door, her turned on his heels.

'If you want to love me, then go and talk to Walter. Maybe he can find a solution to your problem.'

He said the last word like he knew I thought it wasn't a problem but a chance. And I truly believed it was a chance. I was the only one on the whole world who had experienced such feelings, it wasn't easy to think the contrary. Now I had to face the most terrible dilemma of my life and I had absolutely no idea which side I was on. Peter or Olivia? Peter... Because I wanted to be with him and I always had had. But Olivia... She haunted my thoughts, every time she crossed my mind I felt utterly overwhelmed and I just couldn't live without this constant bubbling joy in me. I suddenly felt like crying because I realized that I just couldn't chose. If I chose Peter, that would mean abandoning Olivia and that was impossible. Now that she was here, I intended to make he feel safe and loved, and going with Peter didn't fit in that plan. If I chose Olivia, I knew Peter would do his best to make my life living Hell. I shook my head, trying to contain my tears, and got on my feet. Before thinking about all of this more deeply I needed to have a shower. I couldn't bear Peter's large pullover on my shoulders anymore, my whole body was covered with white trails of salt and my hair felt so dry that touching straw would have felt exactly the same. I grabbed the clothes on the floor and headed to the bathroom, my legs sill a little trembling. I turned to hot water on and took towels in the cupboard. I undressed quickly and stepped in the shower, hot drops cascading over my shoulder. It was way too hot and a few seconds later my skin had turned to a deep red. I didn't care, all I wanted was to relax and wash all this dirtiness away. Steam filled the whole room and soon I couldn't distinguish my own feet. The heat felt heavy and my eyes closed by themselves, exhaustiveness crushing on me. It had been quite a while since I had last slept but with all that had happened I hadn't had the time to rest. My arms felt like filled with lead and I laid my forehead against the tiling, unable to contain a loud yawn. I didn't build the courage to take the bottle of shower gel and just stayed like this, inhaling the vapors of the boiling water. I don't know how long I stood there but when I finally wrapped a towel around me, deciding that I couldn't spend the whole night under the water, darkness had had the time to spread over the city. I directly headed to the bedroom and let myself fall on the bed, not even taking the tie to slip into more comfortable clothes. I drew the comforter to me and rolled myself in it, realizing that I really should have done that more often. Sleeping in the back of the lab whenever I got the time wasn't worth a full night of sleep. I sighed of contentment, wanting to savor this as much as I could before I would have to make up my mind.

My cellphone rang, drawing me out of my dream, and I started mumbling threats to whoever was daring to disturb the only moment of peace I had had for ages. I picked my phone up the bedside table and tried to avoid looking at the aggressive light of the screen.

'Hello?' I grunted, rubbing my hand over my face.

'Hey,' someone whispered, sounding a bit afraid. 'I can't stay long, we can't use phones after midnight and I'm afraid it's not going to be long before they find out about it.'

'What are you talking about?' I said, sitting on the edge of the bed.

'Well you know, they're supposed to trace phone calls, I don't want them to know who I'm calling. If they find out about you we're dead.'

'Huh, hospitals do not trace phone calls here. A t least not when nothing serious happens to a patient, or anything like that. Is there something wrong?'

'No I... I miss you, that's it. I was just wondering... Is everything fine with you?'

'Of course, everything's alright sweetheart...' I said, thinking it would be better if I didn't tell her about the Peter issue. 'Do you know when you can get home?'

'Tomorrow if everything's alright.' she replied quickly as if she had heard someone coming.

'Okay, well... I'll ask Broyles to collect you, I'll be waiting for you here.'

'Right, see you tomorrow then. I have to go, I'm sorry... Good night.'

'Good night to you too...' I whispered, knowing she had already hang off. I sighed deeply, staring blankly at the wall hidden behind a curtain of darkness. To be honest I wasn't expecting her to leave this quickly. I wasn't prepared to live with her yet, not to mention that we were going to have to share the same bed – not that it would bother me much, but I didn't want anything to happen for a while, at least not until I had decided whom I'd chose. I put my phone on the mattress and laid back, my eyes wide open. Once I was awake there was no way I could get back to sleep and I perfectly knew it. I repeated the conversation we'd had to myself, over and over again, trying to decipher what I had felt when hearing her voice. The little something in my stomach which I couldn't quite describe... My heart pounding against my ribcage... If those weren't signs of love then what could they be? There was no way I could ignore all of this just to be with a man I wasn't sure I loved anymore. The thing was I wasn't sure she loved me either. Love and being loved in return, that was what I wanted. But she hadn't said 'I love you' before hanging off. Aren't you supposed to say this kind of things when you truly love someone? I shook my head and put my hands on my ears, trying to stop thinking. Love... The single word was echoing against my skull and it really was starting to make me sick. Do I love Peter, does Peter love me, does she love me, do I love her... I didn't know anymore and I wrapped my arms around a pillow, hot tears flowing on my cheeks. She had brought too many problems... All of this would have never happened without her, everything was her fault, not mine. I needed to get rid of her and that ridiculous tiger that was ruling my life. The faster they would both disappear, the faster things would come back to normal. I would do what Peter had asked me. I would go and see Walter. And I would find a way to get her back to her universe. I sniffled and picked my phone up, dialing Peter's number. It took him a few seconds before answering and judging by his tone, he probably hadn't been sleeping well either. I took a deep breath, tried to ignore the feeling of guilt rising in me and I finally told him.

'When do we get started?'

Sorry for the delay, I've been quite busy ! This chapter is shorter, but I promise the next one will be longer ! :)