Chapter 8

When the doorbell rang, I jumped from the couch, my heart racing in my chest. It felt like all the efforts I had made in the evening to try and convince myself that everything was going to be alright were reduced to nothing. My fingers trembling slightly, I took a few seconds to control my heavy breath and finally opened the door. She was standing next to Broyles, and even though the tiger told me to rush to her and hug her tightly against me, I simply took a step back to let them in. She probably noticed that I wasn't truly myself and that I put all my energy in dominating the beast, because she didn't seem really at ease. She crossed her hands behind her back and lowered her head, looking straight at the carpet to avoid my look.

'This is your file, agent Dunham' Broyles told me, handing me a white folder. 'You'd better read it, just in case. I have an arrangement with a friend, you should receive a new identity card in a few weeks. Do not thank me now, Dunham.' he interrupted me as I opened my mouth - to tell him that it wasn't necessary anymore, not to thank him, but he couldn't know. 'I want a complete report of what happened over there on my desk in two days.'

'Of course, sir,' I replied with a nod, judging that it would be better not to talk about that in front of Olivia.

'You don't have to come to work for the rest of the week. You need to rest.' he said, turning on his heels.

'Oh no, that won't be necessary. I need to go to the lab anyway. Something urgent to take care of.' I explained quickly, not wanting to elaborate. He shrugged and tightened his scarf around his neck.

'As you wish. Take care agent Dunham.'

'You too, sir.' I sighed heavily when he left, and closed the door behind him, not knowing how to react now that I was alone with Olivia. The last thing I wanted was to make her feel uncomfortable and unwelcome, otherwise it would be much harder to convince her that we needed to let Walter experiment on us.

'So,' I said cheerfully, trying to sound as natural as possible. 'I've prepared you a little something to eat in case you're hungry. Tonight you can have my bedroom, I'll sleep on the couch. If you need anything else...'

'No thank you' she replied softly, stroking her forearm, looking a bit embarrassed. 'I'm just a bit hungry.'

'Okay, then you can sit here and I'll come back in a minute.' She nodded with a light smile and I headed to the kitchen, muffling a sigh of relief. It would be much more difficult to act as if nothing had happened than I first thought. I shoved the plate into the microwave oven and leaned back against the fridge, massaging my temples. I had no idea how I was going to explain to her the reasons why I wanted the thing to disappear but what I feared the most was her reaction. What if in the end I was wrong and she really loved me? What would I do if she begged me not to make it leave? Would I be able to resist? Probably not. I was weak. It had already been extremely hard to control the wave of satisfaction I had felt when she had appeared on my doorstep, I couldn't even imagine how hard it would be when I would be sitting a few feet away from her. Or maybe I could just drop the plate on the table and lock myself up in the bathroom until she went to sleep? I shook my head, knowing that was the most childish idea I had ever had. I needed to talk to her seriously and I would, no matter the consequences. The loud beep of the oven drew me out of my thoughts and I inhaled deeply to give me some courage. When you've got to go, you've got to go. I grabbed a dishcloth and took the burning plate from the oven. Maybe I should pour some poison in it? She would die, the tiger would die and then all my problems would be fixed. I shook my head and grimaced, disgusted by myself. I tended to forget that I was the one who had brought her here – admittedly to save her life, but also to serve my selfish intentions. My heart missed a few beats when I finally entered the living room, and the tiger began to pace impatiently.

'There you go,' I said, putting the smoking pastas in front of her. 'I'm sorry, this is the only thing I can cook without setting my kitchen on fire.'

'That's another point we have in common' she laughed as I sit next to her. 'Franck...' she stopped a moment, her smile fading lightly. 'Huh, Franck is a good cook. He wanted to teach me but I never had the time...' she finished, lowering her eyes to hide her tearful eyes. I quickly looked away, staring at the wall to concentrate on something else that the pain I felt rising in my stomach. I crossed my hands on the table and cleared my throat, knowing we needed to talk about something else if I didn't want to take her into my arms and comfort her.

'So, huh, did the doctor give you any recommendations, or anything?' I asked, venturing a look toward her. Bad idea. Very, very bad idea.

'No, he said that I'm perfectly fine.' she answered, her voice sounding suddenly distant. 'Why?'

'Oh,' I said, hypnotized by the sauce on the corner of her lips. I bit the inside of my cheek as the tiger purred of satisfaction. Her mouth looked so appetizing, I just couldn't detach my eyes from it. The thing inside me was screaming 'kiss her', but if I did so there was no hope left. I would fall for her once again and there was no way I could come back from it. She finally swept the sauce with her tongue, and even though I knew the effect it had on me was not the fruits of my personal feelings, I was forced to admit that this was the most erotic scene I've ever seen. The way she had licked the sauce, the way her teeth had bit her fleshy lip... It probably wasn't intentional but it had looked very sensual. And enticing. I squirmed slightly on my chair, just enough for my foot to slip from the chair rung, and I jumped quite violently with a ridiculous high-pitched cry of surprise. The fascination I had felt vanished, and from the look in her eyes and the grin she bore I knew she had noticed I had been staring. It took me a few seconds before getting back to reality and understand that I hadn't answered her question. I blinked and I couldn't help but blushed when she cleaned her mouth with a napkin insistently, looking quite amused.

'Because,' I said, more embarrassed than ever. I was embarrassed because she knew she had seduced me – not that she had been planning on doing it – she knew I had quite enjoyed it and she knew that I wouldn't put an end to all of this for anything. Or at least she probably believed so. Just like I believed I really wanted the thing to disappear. I shook my head, deciding that it wasn't the time to consider the situation all over again, and wiped my sweaty hands on my pants. She would hate me for giving her false hopes, and I mentally prepared for the hurricane I felt coming.

'Because tomorrow we need to see Walter. He can help us with... All of this.' I finished, my throat dry.

Her fork stopped halfway between the plate and her mouth, and she slowly put it back on the table, drips of sauce falling on the table.

'What do you mean?' she said lowly, her fingers grasping the edge of the table. I sighed deeply, feeling her anger emanating from her whole body. Actually, it would be much worse than a hurricane.

'I mean that I want to get rid of that thing so I can be with Peter, okay?' I said quickly, trying to remain as calm as possible. I could see she was struggling not to get up and rush to me, I could almost feel the tension in her limbs, and I knew that no matter what I would do or say, the damage was done. What I didn't know was that her words could be this painful to hear.

'I abandoned Franck for you,' she eructed, spitting her venom. 'Franck, whom I have loved for more than six years. The man who wanted to marry me, who wanted children with me. And you... You don't want me anymore just to be with your sweet little Peter?'

'I saved you!' I exclaimed, feeling her anger infecting me. I would have wanted to fight against it but the more I tried to, the more angry I was. 'You can't blame me, I saved your fucking life risking my own!'

'If it bothered you that much then why didn't you just let me die?' she bellowed, suddenly standing up, knocking the chair over. A magma of rage was bubbling inside me and I did the same, clenching my fists forcefully. I thought I had never seen this look on her face and I knew that it wouldn't take long before words wouldn't be enough. Her eyebrows were so frowned that I couldn't define where they met, and her whole face was so constricted that I wondered whether she would be able to open her mouth or not. The tiger was roaring loudly in my chest and for the first time I was glad it was here. It was the only thing able to push me beyond my limits, and if Olivia and I had to fight then I would really need it.

'I should have! Now I realize that I really should have!'

'Bloody bitch!' she breathed before dashing toward me. The impact was violent and I fell backward, my head knocking hard on the floor. Stars danced in front of my eyes for long seconds and when I finally was able to focus on her face above me, I saw her fist splitting the air and crushing my nose forcefully. Pain and rage melted in the same wave rising in me, and I jumped on my feet, pearls of blood flying all around me. She didn't seem afraid – even though I knew the look on my face had never been this terrifying – and she succeeded in dodging my powerful blow directed on her face. She grabbed my shoulders and I felt her knee hitting my stomach forcefully which left me gasping for air. She was getting the upper hand and if I didn't regain my self-control I probably would end up at the hospital. The problem was that I was tired, my arms felt weak and the beast wasn't helping me as much as I would have wanted it to have. Probably because it knew that inside I didn't want to fight against her. She was right, I was a bitch for wanting to abandon her. She had been through a lot of things, the past two weeks had been awfully hard, and the only thing I was doing was to make her life even worse than it already was. I was supposed to be her guide, I had promised her that I would help her to feel safe in my world... And in the end, all I could think of was to be with Peter, even if that meant sending her to a long and dark corridor she would not be able to come back from. Little by little, I felt disgust replacing anger inside me – I was disgusted by myself, disgusted by my selfishness, disgusted by this behavior I knew didn't fit me. I opened my eyes, trying to tell her that I regretted what I had said, but before a word could come out she grabbed me by the shoulders and threw me on the table. I closed my eyes tightly and protected my head with my arms when I realized she was brandishing the vase above her. I just had the time to roll on the side before the glass broke into thousands of pieces right where I had been a few seconds before.

'Olivia, please listen' I tried, creeping toward the door. 'It's okay we don't have to do it! Please, calm down!' But from the look in her eyes, she didn't seem to want to stop at all, and when she grabbed a chair I realized that there was no way I could stop her by myself. I jumped on my feet and ran to the door as fast as possible, and I was able to close it behind me before she could knock me out. I heard the loud crush of the chair on the wood, and I was glad she hadn't thrown it at me.

'Open that damn door!' she barked, trying to turn the doorknob. 'I'm not joking Olivia, open it now!'

'Just calm down, okay?' I said, my hands holding the handle tightly. 'I didn't mean what I said and I regret it. Peter can wait, you're more important than him for now. We don't have to go and see Walter tomorrow, understand?'

'So you're a bloody bitch and a bloody liar?' she screamed, giving the door a heavy kick. 'You can't do that to me! Without me both you and Peter would be dead by now! You saved my life, cool, but don't forget that I saved yours too!'

'I know that Olivia, for God's sake calm down!'

'No, I won't calm down!' she bellowed, finally letting go of the doorknob. 'Over there there's a man grieving because of you, you could have at least some consideration for him, shit!'

I heard a muffled cry of rage and I jumped when she kicked the door forcefully one last time. After that, nothing. The silence was heavy, too heavy, maybe. I was expecting her to come back screaming a flow of insults and trying to smash the door down, but nothing. I prick up my ear, wondering what she was doing, but the only thing I could hear was the distant purr of the cars in the street. For long minutes I remained silent, sitting against the door, paying attention to every little noise coming from behind the door. At least, she didn't seem to be breaking every piece of furniture and every trinkets of my apartment. I waited half an hour because I didn't know how long it would take before I could get back in without her running toward me to try and pull one of my eye out. After another hour, I finally got on my feet, thinking she probably had controlled her temper. I sighed deeply, wondering for a moment if it was a good idea or not to go inside. I wasn't sure how she would react when seeing me and the last thing I wanted was another war in the middle of my living-room. I shrugged and finally opened the door. I could always leave once again if she was still mad at me. First good sign, she wasn't waiting for me behind the door and didn't rush at me. I took a few careful steps toward the living-room and stopped dead when I saw her sitting on the couch, her face buried in her hands. I could feel her distress and at the same time the worry of the beast, and the mix was kind of depressing. I cleared my throat to let her know that I was there and she looked up, trying to wipe the tears from her cheeks before I could see them.

'Hey' she said softly, rubbing her nose on the back of her hand – thing that I did very often too, I realized.

'Hey' I replied, putting my hands in my pockets. I hadn't thought about what to say, hoping words would come easily once I would be in front of her, but the only thing I could think of was 'Don't stand here like a figurehead and do something.' I slapped myself mentally and my body finally reacted. I sat next to her, and as she didn't resist I dared to wrap an arm around her shoulders. She was trembling slightly and from the ill-being coursing through me I understood she was on the verge of bursting out into tears.

'Listen' I said, stroking her back tenderly. 'I'm sorry... I... We're not going tomorrow. We're going to wait until... Until you feel fine here. I know it's going to be hard and that it'll take a long time, but I just want you to be happy, okay?'

'No', she sniffled, drawing her legs to her chest and putting her head on my shoulder. 'We really should get rid of that thing while there is still time. Besides, Peter's not going to wait. He needs you.'

'Olivia... I don't think a week or two would make any difference.'

'We don't know. The thing's been here for two weeks, maybe it's already too late... If you want to do it then... We'd better go tomorrow. Even if the thing's not here anymore... That doesn't mean we won't see each other anymore, right?'

'Of course not!' I said, not believing she could doubt me. 'I've never been a fan of those girly things, but we can go shopping if you want. Occasionally have a coffee... Not to mention that Broyles is probably going to offer you a job in my division. Oh, and we need to find someone for you, don't we?' I asked with a smile, tenderly stroking her arm. 'That means we're gonna need to hang out on the week-ends so you can use your seduction power, and you'll have all the men you want at your feet.'

'I'm not so sure about that' she laughed, finally wiping her tears with the back of her hand. 'But it sounds great.'

'Yes, really great even.'

I felt so relieved that in the end we had come to an agreement, and the bubble of joy was swelling so much in my chest that the smile splitting my face became contagious. Her eyes were shining with a gleam that I've never seen before and she pushed my shoulders gently to escape my hold. I caught her wrists and sat on her lap, wrapping an arm around her neck.

'You know,' I said lowly, a hand on her cheek, my thumb brushing against her cheekbone. 'I think that we should make the most of this... While there is still time.' Her smile broadened and she slipped her fingers in my hair as I slowly bent toward her, my lips finally meeting hers for one of the most memorable kiss of my existence.

I've got a lot of exams to prepare for May, and this is probably the last chapter before June ! :)

I hope you still like this story ! ;D